Is it just me?

[abbraxis]

Hello. I've been a LOOOOOOOOONG time reader and only just recently began posting. At some point I may even contribute a story... but that's still some time away.

Anyway, I want to know if other members here are like me and wanted to put this thread here for others to read and comment - maybe offering their life stories as well.

My issue is over my sexuality. I don't really know what I am...

(I sincerely apologize for the length... but bare with me.)


First of all, I'm a virgin. I'm only 20, so I'm not totally alone in my generation, but I'm definetely uncommon given the sexual prowess of others around me. I'm also sexually attracted to the male body (as in I can masurbate to it), however this only extends to the male body... not their genitalia. Nothing I have saved to my computer is nude. They're all partially clothed... just muscular .

Basically, I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. Sexual intercourse with a man simply does not intrest me (no matter the position). I mean no offense to anyone who is gay... I'm just sayin' it's not for me. If a Muscle Growth story mentions the penis I can usually tolerate it and find myself just skipping over any extended love scenes that may be in the story.

What "gets my goat" is the growth, the flexing, the showing off and then any heavy lifting that may be involved. My favorite stories are the ones that don't have sections of sex. I'm strictly into Muscle Growth, it seems.

Any wet dreams (nocturnal emissions) I have are of this nature. Basically, there are no penises.


But with that said... I don't know if I'm straight. I don't actually have any straight porn and honestly never watched any. In all seriousness, I'm more afraid of the sites and the potential of computer infection than anything they have there.

Basically, I've never masturbated to anything a straight person would.

I'd like to have sex with a women and find myself more and more obsessed with the almost primal urge to have sex... but then I wonder if I want to have sex with a woman cause I'm really straight... or just want to do it to prove I'm not gay.

I've had a few wet dreams involving women and there are several women (famous and not) that I would like to have sex with... but again, is it cause I want to... or feel obligated to do so.


I know I sound like a whiney brat... but it's always been something I think about... and am just curious if others here might be the same way.

[lurker5]

Wow, I'm actually in much the same boat as you. No desire for sex, but nothing get me going like seeing a guy grow and bust out of his clothes. And it's good to know I'm not the only guy who's still a 20-something virgin .

I'm pretty sure I'm straight as well, as the idea of having sex with a man seems unpleasant compared to having sex with a woman, there are several women in RL and in Hollywood I'm attracted to, and I would like to have kids one day. So while I can't really offer much in the way of advice at least know you're not the only growth addict out there who feels like he's got one foot in each sexuality :P

[musclegod300]

So I have talked to a ton of guys with the same problem. Bottom Line is if you have never had a crush on a guy or have wanted to kiss a guy your not gay. You are turned on by the idea of being that strong and big like the guys you are seeing. You Just wanna be the alpha male etc..
You notice that guys compare muscle's all the time touching them etc.. Straight guys its normal and your fine. If you still have the hots for girls your straight.

Just Enjoy Life and if you Wanna get Big, Get big

[hulkoutlvr]

This discussion is very interesting to me as well, because, while, at age 34, I am 100 percent sure I am gay, I am not an overtly sexual person. That is to say, while I enjoy the intimate company of gentlmen, the holding, kissing, making out, it is rare that I proceed to the actual sexual act. I am VERY attracted to muscular guys, like most everyone on this forum is, but I'm not sure if I want to have sex with a bodybuilder, or if I would get off simply by touching one or worshipping one. Actually, as attracted as I am to big bulging musclemen (I prefer over six feet and never less than 210 in a perspective intimacy partner), I think if someone as big as Jay Cutler would offer to have sex with me, I might chicken out. Isn't it weird how that is my biggest fantasy and I dont' know if I have the balls to go through with it? Does anyone else have those feelings?

[Username3]

Muscle is probally just a fetish of yours.
If you're attracted to guys, it probally means you Gay, Bai, Pan, or whatever

Everyone has there own way of going through life and making the choices needed at the right time. So many people (gay or staight) have sex any time they can, others wait for the right time and some choose to aviod it. My advice to anyone is do what feels right and forget about what anyone else thinks. When all is said and done, you have to be the one making yourself happy. I was attracted to the male form in my teens and it wasn't until I was in my 30's that I actually followed through with it because that was what was right for me. That is my advice to you. When it feels right, explore more. Just enjoy until the time comes.

[Eager Muscle]

You've raised a very interesting issue I've often wondered about:

Can a straight man orgasm to their own or other men's strength or physique and not be gay? There are so many users of this site alone married to women, with children, who get off on wrestling other men and feeling their muscles that I suspect it's a cottage industry. [COLOR="Red"](You "straight" guys should weigh in here.)[/COLOR]

Yes, I've observed this gym phenomenom of what appear to be straight, all-American he-men who are not even necessarily training for muscle who get, shall we be blunt, hardons, boners, mushroom cockheads pressing against their shorts as they struggle with heavy weights, even as their spotter buddies look on. Yes, there's also some friendly muscle competition going on among straights that doesn't go farther than that - friendly competition, even in their own imaginations.

But as for some of the others...does this make them or you gay?

It's not anyone's place to tell you whether you're straight, gay, a closet case, bi, self-loathing, etc.

Having said that, Coco Chanel was famous for saying (among other things) a homosexual male will follow a woman everywhere except to bed. Gay men the world over for thousands of years have been "attracted" to beautiful, sexy, famous (or infamous) women. Women are pretty, they smell nice, have nice soft skin, hands and feet, we connect on a different (or rather similar) emotional level with them, what's not to like? But they also have vaginas.

Do their vaginas turn you on as much as the idea of another man's penis turns you off? Or as you suggested are you just turned on by the idea of conforming and dominating a woman? Do you fantasize about how it would feel to have a woman's velvety hot vaginal canal wrapped around your cock? Or is it more about you fantasizing about being bigger, stronger, harder, more muscular, primal and animalistic, violating that cunt with an improved, big, thick, veiny steel pipe of a dick?

Do you fantasize about fondling a woman's soft, ripe curvacous melons as much as you fantasize about wrapping your hand around a big, hard bicep? Do you not like to look at pictures of completely nude male bodybuilders but like the aesthetic of how a muscleman's posers, jock or underwear hug his manly bulges? Do you get off on yourself flexing in front of your mirror or jerk off to muscle websites and muscle magazines? Or would you rather spank the monkey with a Victoria's Secret catalog?

How did you respond physically and emotionally to these intentionally graphic questions? This type of introspection will help you to figure things out. Yes, there are many gradations of sexuality versus attraction and there's no need to compartmentalize yourself. But for some of you, there's no need to kid yourselves either. There's no need to overanalyze things; it ain't rocket science!


[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[Eager Muscle]

[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[arpeejay]

Some points to keep in mind:

(1) It's possible to sexually attracted to someone without being emotionally attracted to that person.

(2) It's possible to emotionally attracted to someone without being sexually attracted to him or her.

(3) It's possible to sexually function with someone to whom you are emotionally attracted, even if you are not sexually attracted to him or her as such.

(4) It's worth keeping in mind that "gay" and "straight" make more sense in terms of "orientation" rather than "behavior." Under certain circumstances (prison, for example, or other enforced same-sex isolation), even the "straightest" of men can engage in homosexual activity. The reverse ("gay" men with straight women) can also happen.

In my case, I always lusted after muscle (I thought I wanted it for myself only) but my emotional ties were always with girls. I married one of them and realized about a year afterwards that in fact I really was physiclaly / sexually attracted (i.e., orientation) to men, no matter what my emotional attachments with women might have been. It took me another 10 years to figure out that I need to lead my life as a gay man.

I know other men who are just as much into muscle as I am who want it for themselves and who get off on how it makes them feel in relationship to the women in their lives.

My simple test:

Does your dick get hard when you look at pictures of guys? What about girls? If it's one and not the other, that's telling you something about gay vs. straight. If it gets hard for both, well, maybe you are bi -- or maybe you're just a horndog. If it doesn't get hard either case, maybe you're not visually oriented (which is pretty rare in a guy but not unheard of.)

Cheers & good luck...

Richard

[Eager Muscle]

[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[abbraxis]

Well, I'm glad this started a discussion. I figured it would float to the bottom, but I'm glad it caught the eyes of others - some in the same boat as me.

I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. I mean, I don't even want to have sex with a man. When I look at pictures I look at a man's abs, chest and arms (legs are good too, don't get me wrong... but I'm into the "beach body") but I don't even think to look at their posers/shorts. It's just not what I'm looking for. Also, the fact that I never see a penis in my dreams probably means something.

I think I just need to have sex with a woman and see how it goes (though make it a "one night stand", cause if it goes bad, I don't want to see her again). Thinking about having sex with a woman does turn me on... it's just I've never jacked off to straight porn (but never gay porn either).

I was at the gym and saw a teenager/collegiate competitor (he had to be. He was awesome!) and my dick didn't "stir" or anything. I wanted to look like him... but not have sex with him.

Anyway, I really appreciate the thought you guys put in and I'm glad that I got this off my chest. I really do feel loads better.

Thanks.

[Frankly]

You have no idea how similar we are.
I posted a question similar to this a while back.
I am 21, virgin, same boat. I typically skip over the sex scenes in the stories and focus on the growth. I am obsessed with growth. I also have never really looked at straight porn, tried once, it was fine but not for me. Whether it means I am gay or not, i don't know.
I have found that sexuality doesn't exactly come down to wanting to have sex, it is attraction and there also isn't a black and white answer to sexuality. I personally, am emotionally and mentally attracted to girls while physically, the male form does it for me. Does that make me gay, maybe, but to label yourself puts limitations on yourself. Experiment, do what feels right, and see what works better for you. I know for me it will take time to figure it out but just be willing to try whatever comes your way and know that you only live once.

[Bull]

There was a time when I would have said you are a gay man who hasn't come to terms with it yet. But over the years I have come to realize there are probably as many sexual "orientations" as there are people. We try to simplify life by putting people into categories, but the truth is, we are all unique.

I myself was born absolutely gay. I have never had a moment's doubt about that. I can count on one finger the number of times I was physically attracted to a woman; literally. But that one time was so intense, it proved to me that anything is possible in the area of sex. Before that, I would have said: "You are gay or straight; period." But we humans are imaginative creatures, capable of endless variations.

I suspect that your sexuality will sort itself out once you start having sex. I think it likely that you will fall in love with a woman and find you enjoy having sex with her. And this muscle thing will be the spice that makes you a more sexually interesting person than you might otherwise be! Love is the deciding factor I think. While I no doubt could have sex with a woman, I couldn't fall in love with one. Whereas I have fallen in love with men several times.

Time will tell. Meanwhile, enjoy the journey.

[luvyalots]

I'm about 25 and have only had sex a few times with women...but consider myself gay. In other words, I find myself attracted to men more than women...that's all.

I once fell in love (and in some ways still am in love) with my best friend from high school who was straight. I was not sexually attracted to him, but I knew that had he been gay, he would be the boy I would spend the rest of my life with. After years of pining secretly over him, I forced myself to come to terms with it. I came out to him and we are still very close.

That being said, my advice is to not over-analyze anything. Simply live your life and it'll all make sense one day when you least expect it.

[V.R.Goh]

It's good to know that I'm not the only straight guy who finds large, muscular men to be sexually arousing.

[Slevin]

Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex."

• Alfred Kinsey, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male (1948)

For myself I'm attracted to muscle in general. However, I'm also attracted to women and men. I haven't really decided if I'm attracted more to women or men.

[boricua1]

Originally Posted by Slevin

Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex."

• Alfred Kinsey, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male (1948)

For myself I'm attracted to muscle in general. However, I'm also attracted to women and men. I haven't really decided if I'm attracted more to women or men.

You know I really like this quote. I have to agree.

[abbraxis]

That *IS* a great quote.





P.S. Cool! I got stickied :P !

[viamanmax]

A few years ago I read his book about sexuality in the human male. Quite a fascinating read.

[gogr2]

Yes, a great quote.

I do have to say I am among the men here who gets off on muscle, but gets turned off by what we term in the army as "man-love". I have only had sex with women and rather enjoy it (okay, okay, I more than enjoy it). I could not fathom having sex with a man.

The turn-on for me, I think, comes from the fantasy of having the muscle I view as my own. Feeling up my own (very modest) muscles is a turn-on. So to imagine them larger and fantasizing Flex Lewis' (or the bodybuilder of the moment's) body as mine magnifies that.

Just the rambling thoughts of the sex deprived soldier at war... lotion is our best friend.

[geo07]

I just wanted to say that this is a great thread and wanted to tell my story.
At first I thought that I was just attracted to muscle, especially because I was never interested in sex with men (I still skip over a good deal of the sex scenes in growth stories). However, I was even less excited about the idea of sex with women, and never really found women attractive. But one day in high school, I found a guy attractive even though he didn't have an ounce of muscle on him, which left me more confused, until I eventually realized I was gay.
I just always thought it was odd to fantasize about guys without there being a sexual component to it. My fantasies usually involve making out and worshipping a guy, but never having sex with him.
Anyway, thanks for reading my rambling and I wish I could offer advice to those who are still confused about themselves. The best thing I can think of is just take it easy and don't do anything that you're not entirely comfortable with.

[jerseyflex]

I agree with gogr2 (and others on here) - this is a great thread - one of the best in a while and its amazing to see others who can relate and who are clearly "on the same page"

I have had a muscle obsession going back into elementary school. I seem to keep finding myself surrounded by it going back to like 3rd or 4th grade. From the 3 ultra muscular swimmers on my swim team growing up (always in speedos of course) to the head lifeguard at the pool who competed to the jocks in highschool who rarely wore shirts in gym class (especially when it was weightlifting class) to my first college roommate who wrestled in highschool then took up roids and bb-ing in college to the friends i made in my college bodybuilding club that i eventually became house mates with. i never lusted after any of them and thought "wow Id really like to ram my < you-know-what> into his butt" (or vice versa) - or - "wow id really like to massage or suck on that bulge" but I did (and still do) j/o to fanatasy where i had (have) their strength, muscularity, and power. I do want some day to be 1:1 with a legit bb-er in a worship session or oil one up and watch them pose for me in private. I did have a few "multiple encounters" with my one muscle head jock housemate and various women that one of us would pick up and bring home. We both went to town on the girl and got off watching each other. there was touching and feeling of each others muscle in the process but at no point did the two of us guys get involved with each others' genitalia (although I may have used a few of these scenarios and added some embellishment for the sake of a good story on here). I do miss him a lot and would give anything to lift and hang out with him again but weve lost touch (last I heard he was recovering from a suicide attempt and wanted nothing to do with us - the roids really screwed up his emotional state.)

Ive been around a lot of hardcore muscle gyms (even "The Mecca" - Golds in Venice - probably the single best gym experience I have ever had - the camaraderie was unreal - I loved lifting with people there - never in my life in 1 workout have I had so many random strangers strike up really nice conversation - irony is, I went in expecting the opposite - expecting a super intense competitive environment.....i found golds in midtown manhattan on saturday mornings to be the same way - i never wanted to leave) and in their lockerrooms and saunas. Ive seen lots of things and have received lots of comments. Its so much more common than we think. and boy do i have stories to tell but this is getting too long. happy to share - if you want them here in this thread let me know or ill post elsewhere - maybe the "real life experience" thread?

take care of yourselves (gogr2 be safe) and just enjoy life. accept things for the way they are. have fun. train hard and build a great body and a lot of great things will happen. life is short - enjoy it to the max and dont live your life by others' standards and definitions of "normal" - live it for yourself and the ones you love.

[jerseyflex]

I am going to borrow a link from a post by pirate in another thread ("alpha males") that illustrates how some of us feel about this issue.

i would j/o to this picture imagining i am the jacked up muscle stud absolutely having my way with the chick. she, in awe of my massive strength and power totally worships me and pleasures me in every way i want. i imagine having her in a bed surrounded by mirrors as I place my hands on her hips in the doggie style position thrusting my manhood in and out of her. she winces and moans and screams in that pain/delight zone. as I thrust I check myself out in the mirror - my pecs fluttering, abs crunched, and bi's fully flexed.

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/2686/b982ps1.jpg

[musclejunkie22]

wow, great thread. Been off of this site for a while, just revisiting and found this. I can only relate my experience, which sounds very similar to other stories already relayed. I'm attracted to muscle more than genitalia as well. Almost none of what I masturbate to is about genitalia. It is about muscle. Period. Do I find women attractive? Yes, but not in a sexual way. Women do not get me hard. Male muscle does. I also am not as focused on the posers or crotch area, nor am I into much porno. More often than not, I'm looking at the rest of the build, the biceps, pecs, abs, etc. I am gay, love having sex with guys, especially very muscular ones. And when I'm with the right muscular guy who's on the same page as me, we get into some mutual worship together, which is my ultimate favorite kind of sex. There's nothing better than having my lifetime sexual fantasies played out with another guy whose muscle I can freely explore. Many of these guys also get super horny at the idea of growing bigger. We're definitely not alone!

I suppose I would reiterate what's been said many times. Take it easy, check things out, experiment, and enjoy. Just don't try to force a situation, like trying to "make" yourself one way or another. That will get you in trouble. Good luck and thanks for the great and honest topic.

[arpeejay]

Oh, and:

Prior to coming out / beginning to have sex with men (age 35), I almost never fantasized about having sex with a guy. I fantasized about BEING the guy, I even fantasized about being seduced by / seducing other guys, but I never fantasized about sucking or fucking or any of that stuff, for one good reason:

I had ZERO experience!

Before I started having sex with men, I never even had dreams about sex. It just didn't compute. I knew I was attracted to them, I knew I wanted it, I just had zero frame of reference.

<eg>

That's no longer the case!

xoxo

Richard

[rockhopper]

This really is a fascinating thread.

I identify as a gay man and what little experience dating and being intimate with others that I do have is with other men.

Like many others here, my fantasies rarely involve genitalia or sex. I find the rest of the male body far more interesting. I always say that I require that he have a penis, but other than that, I don't care about such things as its size. I do like muscular men, but not exclusively. The thing I'm mostly attracted to is power. Whether it is physical strength, or super-hero-style powers or even abilities that I feel that I lack or even the power than is intrinsic in being a beautiful man, that is what gets me.

Maybe I'm single at my age (38) because what I really am attracted to does not really exist. Oh well. That's why we have fantasy!

[mike84]

Originally Posted by jerseyflex

I am going to borrow a link from a post by pirate in another thread ("alpha males") that illustrates how some of us feel about this issue.

i would j/o to this picture imagining i am the jacked up muscle stud absolutely having my way with the chick. she, in awe of my massive strength and power totally worships me and pleasures me in every way i want. i imagine having her in a bed surrounded by mirrors as I place my hands on her hips in the doggie style position thrusting my manhood in and out of her. she winces and moans and screams in that pain/delight zone. as I thrust I check myself out in the mirror - my pecs fluttering, abs crunched, and bi's fully flexed.

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/2686/b982ps1.jpg

yea baby!!!

[not2bright]

Originally Posted by abbraxis

I don't even want to have sex with a man. When I look at pictures I look at a man's abs, chest and arms (legs are good too, don't get me wrong... but I'm into the "beach body") but I don't even think to look at their posers/shorts. It's just not what I'm looking for. Also, the fact that I never see a penis in my dreams probably means something.

...

I was at the gym and saw a teenager/collegiate competitor (he had to be. He was awesome!) and my dick didn't "stir" or anything. I wanted to look like him... but not have sex with him.

I'm very glad I came across this thread. The two quotes above best represent my "profile" as well.

I'm clearly attracted to muscle, but it doesn't extend beyond that. I'm not interested in having sex with a guy, muscular or otherwise.

I used to frequent some web sites that offered one-on-one cam chats with muscular guys. At the start of each chat, they would ask what I wanted to see. When I replied that I was looking for some flexing and posing, and wasn't interested in seeing their dick and/or ass, the response usually ranged from something like, "Wow, that's unusual," to "You're kidding, right?" In fact, if I ever had the opportunity for an in-person "worship" session, I'd ask up front that his pants stay on.

I also avoided the gym when I was younger, out of fear that I might have a "reaction" to all the well-built guys there. My first solution was to not wear my contacts or glasses, so I wouldn't be tempted to look. That, however, proved to be an unpractical approach, as I spent more time bumping into walls and equipment than I did actually working out. Then I decided to tackle my fear by hiring a trainer, and was terrified when he turned out to be a 21-year-old with a chest that deserved its own ZIP Code and biceps that he loved to show off. But like abbraxis, I never had any issues in the gym, for exactly the same reason -- I wanted to look like them, not have sex with them.

If only I had found this thread about ten years ago...

[abbraxis]

Originally Posted by not2bright

I also avoided the gym when I was younger, out of fear that I might have a "reaction" to all the well-built guys there.

I'm in the same boat. That, and I was pathetically weak and I while I looked weak, I was afraid people would realize just how weak I was...

... so I stayed away.

Now a friend and I go to 24-hour gym when it's least crowded and I we've begun going quite regulary. Once every 2 days. I mean, I hate going... but I love it. I feel like I'm really doing something finally.

My first solution was to not wear my contacts or glasses, so I wouldn't be tempted to look. That, however, proved to be an unpractical approach, as I spent more time bumping into walls and equipment than I did actually working out.

I wear contacts/glasses and I thought about doing that exact same thing too...

[Frankly]

While it is extremely helpful knowing that i am not alone, and obviously, many here are in a similar boat, what in the end does it mean?
Does being attracted and turned on by male muscle make one gay, if it has nothing to do with sex?

For i guess a more general question then, is it sex that makes someone gay or is it purely attraction?

I was also of the idea that i was turned on by muscle men because i wanted their muscle, but the more i grew, the more i guess i realize there is more to it.

[polomuscle]

a question for the guys who are "not gay" but only obsessed with muscle and power because they don't want to "have sex with" that but they want to "look like" that:

not to sound naive or critical, but: aren't you just repressing your homsexual desires?

if not---have you made the steps in your life to *become* the musclegods you worship lurkingly from afar? and if you haven't, why haven't you? do you like to stay in the shadows of low-self-esteem and distant power-worship?

why *aren't* you interested in cock and ass? isn't it because you've repressed your homo desires and

if you are 38 and haven't had much sex or many intimate relationships, isn't living in fantasy a painful and private place to live?

i too am struggling with some of these issues--how big do i want to get in reality vs. fantasy... do i need to date a muscle guy or can i be happy with someone who is skinny... do i want to fuck them or do i want to "be" them...
hey, i'm not judging at all. in fact, as i see my 20s are long behind and middle age approaches, i really ask myself, "what do i want out of life" in a much more honest and serious way.

i do want for myself, and for all of you, a healthy and functional life with good relationships, including intimate ones. for some humans on this planet, intimacy with friends and family is enought. but if you guys are punishing yourselves by remaining locked in a fantasy, rather than opening yourselves to the risk and reward of sexual intimacy with another human-- who, by the way, will never be a perfect being like in your fantasies--i fear you could be missing out.

in my experience, muscle worship is a one way street, and ultimately, i need some love back in the other direction, even though i'm smaller and skinnier.

please respond. i would be interested in your thoughts about loneliness, intimacy, obsession, fetishism, and homosexuality.

[msclundylvr]

Hey guys,

I am not sure how I missed this excellent thread heretofore. It's a great discussion thus far! I want to add my two cents by saying that I was in the same boat as well. I had convinced myself that the only reason I was attracted to photos of jocks and musclemen was because of their alpha male image, and I wanted to be strong and powerful like them. Well, after over a decade of soul-searching, I realized I wanted more than just that. I really did want what was underneath those posers or briefs. However, I agree with what many others have said before, everyone's sexual preferences and orientation are different.

Having taken a human sexuality course as part of my struggle to deal with this attraction/orientation issue (and we all know that one course makes one an expert...), I recommend the following article from www.goaskalice.com. Especially for college students, this is a great site and has all sorts of information that pertains to where college students are in life. Besides, if you can't find the information you are looking for, you can ask a question in their forum and get an answer from experts in the field.

Here is one Q&A that is particularly related to this topic. There are many others on the site, so I encourage you to click through the site and see what you can find.

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2553.html

Cheers!

[jerseyflex]

Polo, to give you my perspective......

Your Q: not to sound naive or critical, but: aren't you just repressing your homsexual desires?

My A: I thought maybe I was so I became close friends with some gay men and really opened up and asked a lot of questions. One time, by accident I stumbled across a gay muscle lover who was a massage therapist. Im on the massage table, totally nude and he starts saying stuff like "god damn you are built" and we started talking bodybuilding. Needless to say, I went back several more times (who doesnt love being told how great their body is in the middle of a massage) and could have done anything I wanted but every time I thought I was close, or that I might, frankly I just got repulsed - and he was an awesome looking guy.

when guys would comment on my physique in the gym I was always nice, polite, grateful, humorous but it never went anywhere.

for me, the hottest most intense / most passionate sex has been with "jock-ette's" - hard body females with tons of confidence and strength (physical, emotional, mental). I dated a young woman after college who could bench 225 for a few reps. nothing was hotter than lifting with her when she wore a sports bra and tight short shorts. her six pack and quads were outrageous. (she could squat 315 for reps no problem) she was so hard and muscular she had to get implants. which despite the phoniness i found incredibly hot on her muscular body. i can tell you, some women are outrageously horny when they finish lifting (in fact, many women experience orgasms when they do ab work, particularly leg lifts - she was no exception.) wed get home and foreplay had already taken place in the gym. the gay masseus told me i was attracted to women with masculine features. so thinking i might be bi I thought id push the envelope. and im sorry but the the thought of kissing a man or putting mine or his in any bodily opening just didnt do it for me.

Your Q: if not---have you made the steps in your life to *become* the musclegods you worship lurkingly from afar? and if you haven't, why haven't you? do you like to stay in the shadows of low-self-esteem and distant power-worship?

My A: yes - I have. got to the point where the competitive bb-ers in my gym were pushing me to compete. received plenty of comments and stares. I thought if I did (get built) that I might actually have the nerve to make overtures to another bb-er since being built myself gave me "street cred" - so one time (after I was fairly built to the point i was noticed for it) when I thought a bb-er was flirting w/ me I followed him to the locker room and then sauna. he was vastly superior to me (nice tan - absolutely huge and ripped) so I was going to have to be the one to initiate but then another gym member entered the sauna so no luck. a few days later as i was leaving, he was just in front of me. we got outside to the street and without making direct eye contact i could tell he was looking and waiting for me to say something. i chickened out and turned and went the other way. never saw each other again.

Your Q: why *aren't* you interested in cock and ass? isn't it because you've repressed your homo desires and if you are 38 and haven't had much sex or many intimate relationships, isn't living in fantasy a painful and private place to live?

My A: No - not really. I have awesome sex with women and I dont go around fucking anything. I actually get into a relationship that means something before I do. I find the best sex is with women who like muscle (not all do - and some REALLY do). the more attention a woman gave to my body, the hornier and harder id get. i do get hard and j/o to muscle because i think im drawn to the confidence and security. i do admit though, that alpha male thread on here has a few where there is a muslce guy who is bigger and taller than the other or others. i think if I found a short muscular guy that i could tower over who wanted to "take care of me" if you know what I mean I might give it a go but who knows....

[abbraxis]

Originally Posted by polomuscle

not to sound naive or critical, but: aren't you just repressing your homsexual desires?

if not---have you made the steps in your life to *become* the musclegods you worship lurkingly from afar? and if you haven't, why haven't you? do you like to stay in the shadows of low-self-esteem and distant power-worship?

That's why I asked the question... but someone already stated that sexuality isn't simply "gay" or "straight". An analogy might be like a multi-facited crystal that may reflect you better on some parts... but not others.

Basically, I don't know yet. I've never had sex yet but if I were to have sex... my first intention would be to have it with a woman. The answer to your question won't come to me until I have my second intention.

I'll tell you when it happens .

Also, I have recently joined a gym. Not to become a "muscle god", but rather go to the beach and not feel embarassed to take my shirt off.

why *aren't* you interested in cock and ass? isn't it because you've repressed your homo desires and

I don't know... but any boner I get from the muscle growth aspects of the story actually goes away if there is a long sex scene... and the story is kinda ruined.

but if you guys are punishing yourselves by remaining locked in a fantasy, rather than opening yourselves to the risk and reward of sexual intimacy with another human-- who, by the way, will never be a perfect being like in your fantasies--i fear you could be missing out.

I don't want to be perfect... just better.

I see guys with abs and chests and big arms getting girls despite their shitty atitudes... and it infuriates me. I want to be healthy, fit and look decent without a shirt, cause I know that if a girl would at least talk to me, I could be a great boy friend.

I hope this gym time gives me the confidence I want to maybe talk to a girl first... cause I simply can't do it now.

[rockhopper]

Polomuscle, to clarify, I am gay. I have always been gay and never deny it.

I have absolutely no desire to "become a musclegod". I am a healthy, height-weight proportionate person, but not particularly muscular. I admire muscular men (though not overmuscled), but that doesn't mean I want to be one.

My life is my business, but rest assured that although it has been several years since my last romantic or sexual relationship, I have many good friends and am not lonely. I have the best kind of roommate: a wonderful dog! As for human companionship, my best friend lives right across the street and many others live nearby. Most of my friends are also single.

My experience is different from yours, but we are all different.

And, as for sex, to put it crudely, there is no itch I have that I can't scratch myself.

[Eager Muscle]

Jerseyflex brings up an interesting point.

There are obviously a lot of "straight" men into female bodybuilders who (presumably) would never be into hooking up with a male bodybuilder.

[COLOR="Yellow"]If someone is "attracted" to male muscle (but not necessarily males) but is not at least "equally" attracted to females (muscular or otherwise), does that make them gay?[/COLOR]

But it was ARPEEJAY that made what I feel to be the most astute and on-point observation relevant to ABBRAXIS' initial question . TO PARAPHRASE AND EXPAND UPON THE THOUGHT:

Yes, you can function sexually with a woman but does that mean you actually like it and prefer it to functioning sexually with men?

Some men don't fantasize about sex with women because they've never had sex with women. They have no frame of reference. Does this make them gay? Maybe not.

Some men fantasize about being "attracted" to females but not about having sex with them, BUT FURTHER they fantasize and/or obsess about male muscle worship but never about man-to-man sex because they've never had sex with men. They have no frame of reference. Does this make them gay? I truly think (my opinion only) that the answer is probably, 95% of the time YES.

Despite all this talk about degrees of hetero and homosexuality.

IF I'm correct, this is not great news for those that are truly hoping for whatever reason they AREN'T gay but on the bright side, painful introspection will save them years of unhappinness, denial and - if applicable - self-loathing.

I'm the first to admit that this is NOT about me being correct. NO ONE CAN TELL YOU WHETHER YOU'RE GAY, STRAIGHT, BI, PAN, OMNI, HORNDOG, whatever. Only you can make that determination via the evidence of your thoughts and actions which you yourself weigh.

I'd love to see others within the whole pantheon of gayness and straightness keep this dialogue going.

And hey - what's so bad about being gay anyway? (Aside from it being better with muscles.) But that's an entirely different thread.


[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[BigLittleTim]

Remember, we are a visual people. Our eyes are as much a part of our sexuality as our genitalia. All those tasteful "pin-up" girl posters and muscle-bound "Colt model" calendars rarely show full genitalia. The object of desire in both cases is the beauty of the body itself and its appeal to the viewer.

As a gay man I find bodybuilding videos, and photographs of large muscular men flexing, MUCH more sexually interesting than pornographic images that show similar bodies engaged in penetration and orgasm. In fact, pornography ceases to be erotic, proportionately, as it becomes more sexually explicit.

You're part of the old, old, tradition of what roaring boys have always done with other roaring boys. "Frottage", "The Princeton Rub", or "intercructial friction" have always been the secret of the Male Lodge, whether that lodge was the army, prep school, or an athletic team. Competitive spirit and close living quarters have always encouraged boys of all ages to contemplate the bodies of their peers. The active/passive, Top/Bottom dichotomy is a pretty recent phenomenon, as far as that goes, in gay relationships.

Don't worry about if you're "gay" or "straight" or "bi". You were meant to enjoy your body and the bodies of your peers in a healthy and nurturning way. Don't let them put you in a "box" not of your own making.

Best luck,

BigLittleTim

[gogr2]

Originally Posted by polomuscle

not to sound naive or critical, but: aren't you just repressing your homsexual desires?

I would think not as I have never sexually desired a man. I have had sex with women, enjoy it, and am sorely missing it out here in the desert (verging on second virginity). I questioned myself with the same ideas back in college, "am I just repressing?". So I experimented... I have had the chance with a gay friend in college. He tried giving me a blowjob, but my little guy never went erect. We even tried mutual masturbation... just wasn't working. So, after that, I pretty much figured I was not gay.

Originally Posted by polomuscle

if not---have you made the steps in your life to *become* the musclegods you worship lurkingly from afar? and if you haven't, why haven't you? do you like to stay in the shadows of low-self-esteem and distant power-worship?

Yes, I made that decision at the same time I decided to join the army. I went from a very fat 240lb on my stout 5'5.5" frame to my current 178lb with decent muscle. Despite a current back injury, I am steadily growing again, but this time without the fat.

Originally Posted by polomuscle

why *aren't* you interested in cock and ass?

Because I'm interested in tits, ass, and pussy... and again... I sorely miss the three of those things out here in the desert. Why couldn't those army recruiters try and bring in some hot chicks instead of the butch ones that abound?

Originally Posted by polomuscle

in fact, as i see my 20s are long behind and middle age approaches, i really ask myself, "what do i want out of life" in a much more honest and serious way.

I'm at the point where I need to find the girl I want to marry and have a family. Sadly my girlfriend broke up with me while I was at AIT... she was a keeper. So, the hunt continues for that woman I can live with for the rest of my life. Hopefully she can be supportive of the fact that I want to be huge, have four kids, a dog, and live the peripatetic lifestyle of the military. In the meantime, I flirt with the most decent looking chicks out here and hope to fend off the second virginity as well as send quick e-mails to ex-girlfriends looking for sympathy and some "visual aides" to go with the hand lotion.

Originally Posted by polomuscle

in my experience, muscle worship is a one way street, and ultimately, i need some love back in the other direction, even though i'm smaller and skinnier.

please respond. i would be interested in your thoughts about loneliness, intimacy, obsession, fetishism, and homosexuality.

I think about it, and I have never actually been in a "worship" session in real life. I have RPd, but that never really gets me off. Honestly, I prefer to chat about the big muscles. Though, if pressed, I'll RP to be polite... (someone should have a good time)

My two Iraqi Dinar...

[Eager Muscle]

Great stuff about "The Princeton Rub," etc. BigLittleTim. Puts another spin on the same issue.

Does being a horndog, horny randy youngster looking for sexual release any way he can get it make him gay? Maybe not. When gay men function sexually with women it doesn't necessarily make them straight or bi.

Though I've come off as "you're probably gay" in previous posts I recognize that it cuts both ways, a straight man can get off with another guy with frottage, circle jerking, "prison anal penetration," etc. and not be gay.

If I'm showing a lot of undue interest in this thread there's a reason - I find the whole issue of "straight muscle worship" fascinating. Simply put, I'm just trying to wrap my head around how a straight guy can be totally into male muscle, muscle worship, male muscle fetish and fantasy while still being totally straight. I'm sure it's possible, I'm just trying to understand how, that's all. Looking forward to additional responses!


[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[yobdior]

Narrow definitions. Seems to be the problem. Words like 'gay', 'straight' are completely refied constructs. Why bother classifying yourself? You don't need to think in pre-conceived terms. If you know what you like, and who you like, and what you want, then how is there a problem? Sure, there could be a major clash between emotional needs and what you lust after, in terms of having, say, a relationship. But either way, you can't 'change' it by attempting to redefine yourself using somebody else's definitions.

I don't like the 'act' of sex at all (as depicted, say, in a porno). Genitalia have never held any interest for me at all, in fact the thought used to be repulsive, less so now I've inadvertantly built associations between a huge cock and muscles. But a penis doesn't represent masculinity to me in the same way as mucles, for instance. What turns me on is strength, masculinity, and most importantly huge, rippling, striated, vascular muscle. Anything that fulfils my interpretation of what that means turns me on.