Is it just me?

[bwk]

Abbraxis,

Google "same sex attraction," "reparative therapy," and read the articles on the NARTH website (don't know the address, google NARTH and you should be able to find it). I don't know if any of this fits for you, but it's worth a read. In a nutshell, it's guys who don't identify themselves as gay but have an attraction to men be it physical, sexual, emotional, or all of the above.

Hope this helps you out.

BWK

[abbraxis]

Well, I always thought those "gay to straight" things were a hoax. I mean, sexuality isn't a switch, so if I'm attracted to men then I'm attracted to men (but I'm pretty sure I'm not).

I mean, I can't take a (deffinately) straight guy and turn him gay - so why should the possibility to turn a gay man straight be any more reasonable?

Well... this is probably a debate we don't want to get into.


I will say this: It's not even that I don't want to be gay (society has a tendency to treat you differently if you "come out") but it's that I simply don't think I am. It's not sexual repression or fear or anything like that. I've given my... situation... a lot of thought and I simply can't see myself... preforming... with a man.

With a woman? Yeah. I've dreamed about it, get hard when I think about it and feel like I could... preform... if the oppurtunity ever arrose. But not with a man.

Anyway, I just need to find a woman who would sleep with me. Hopefully the gym will help me with this .

[TheMM]

Originally Posted by abbraxis

Anyway, I just need to find a woman who would sleep with me. Hopefully the gym will help me with this .

Amen on that one brother!

But alas, I'll have to go on looks of my face, and personality to get a woman.*

*Feh, yea the hell right!

[bwk]

Yes, this is a debate that I definitely don't want to get into here. You have your views and I have mine--I respect that. The only reason I suggested that you look up these things is that I recognized some familiar feelings in your post--especially the attraction to men but not identifying as being gay. If you don't identify yourself as gay, then you don't need to worry about the "gay to straight" hoax, do you?

BWK

[Frankly]

As i said earlier, from what i can tell, we are in very similar situations. For the first time last night, i kissed a guy. Its a different experience and it helped me figure out a few things. I realized i suck at picking up, and i figured out why. I need someone to pick me up. In a dating situation i am terrible as the one trying to reel them in so to speak and for the first time, I was picked up, and it happened to be from a guy.

A guy in a support group I have been going to told me, "its not about sex, its about attraction. if you are attracted to both guys and girls, then you may be bisexual." there is no sense in limiting yourself though. You say you are not gay, kiss a guy, you'll know if you like it or not, and if you do but still are attracted and turned on by girls, then you have your answer.

Try it, if you like it, great, if you don't, great. Its up to you to decide what is right for you, but why deprive yourself from the experience that could help you decide. Be picked up for once and you'll see the difference too.

[chuckiebear]

Hey Abbraxis (love that name, by the way) - I know you are going through a troubling time concerning your sexuality right now. As one who also had such questions in my youth, I suggest you try to enjoy your feelings and urges. The self-analysis and attempts to find the right category to fit yourself into can seem important, but the impulses you feel are likely to change as you gain life experience. One month you may feel like a raging heterosexual who could carry a girl around on his big strong man-pole. The next month you might find yourself tempted to peek at another guy's ass in the shower room (or even eye his cock for a split-second too long). Point is, if men were honest with themselves and each other, we'd all realize there are many different turn-ons for us. As we go through our sexual lives, let's hope we can be open to all the ways our dicks can be pleasured. Love, Chuckiebear.

[Alan]

Thanks for the thread. I too have been confused about my sexuality and this looks like a good place to discuss it.

I'm turned on by muscle and muscle growth of course. That's why I'm here. But it feels like that's all I've ever been attracted to. I would say I'm more homosexual than heterosexual but I've never felt sexual enough to want to date or be with someone. I've only had the tiniest of crushes (males and females) and one big time crush (male) yet it hasn't been enough to act on those impulses. While everyone else is talking about sex, I never understood what the big fascination is all about. I think part of the reason is that I'm used to being a loner and find it difficult to include people in my life. I've tried thinking of myself as both heterosexual and homosexual but neither feel right. Asexual isn't right either because I do have a muscle fetish but I'm not interested in having sex. As a 30-year old virgin, I'm not expecting that to change at this point in my life. It could also be like arpeejay wrote, that it's because I have zero experience.

The few people I've told have mostly been upset. They think I'm still closeted or that I just haven't found the right person yet or they can't understand how someone wouldn't want to have sex.

Oh, and I've never been to a gym. Forget the muscles on other guys, I'll get aroused from my own workout! It's faster for me to work out at home anyway.

[luvyalots]

I have a friend of mine who has all but come out, but I'm sure he's at least bi. He's a jock and has more than his share of girlfriends with whom he has sex. The thing is it doesn't seem like he's emotionally attached to any of them. Plus, I've seen him engage in rather homosexual acts behind closed doors (particularly when he's drunk or high). He's not a homophobe - he knows I'm gay and doesn't have a problem with it - but is very much in the closet. I do know that self-image is very important to him so I think it's because he's afraid of what might happen to his reputation if he does come out.

My point is this: gay and straight don't have "signs" or "stereotypes" and it's not a black-and-white issue.

Just my two cents...

[Eager Muscle]

Okay, okay, let's forget the whole identifying with "straight," "gay" or anywhere else on the continuum.

Can someone please explain the following:

[COLOR="Yellow"]Why would a man have or want to have heterosexual sex, be totally into having sex with women, yet be "turned on" by a man's muscles, wanting to feel them, squeeze them, without wanting to have sex, touching cock or even kissing a man?[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[musclejunkie22]

Abbraxis, I'm a little confused by your posts. In your first post you said,

"I'm also sexually attracted to the male body (as in I can masurbate to it)"

and then in a more recent post you said,

"I simply can't see myself... preforming... with a man.

With a woman? Yeah. I've dreamed about it, get hard when I think about it and feel like I could... preform... if the oppurtunity ever arrose. But not with a man."

They sound like two very conflicting statements. While I understand that you may be able to masturbate to the image of a man's body and not had sex with a man yet, I don't know why there's the mental block of performing with a man. Yet, you say that you've dreamed about and get hard when you think of having sex with a woman. Sorry, I'm a little confused and that may be because I'm not wired the same way as you. But generally, what I masturbate to is who I'm interested in having sex with. They're not two separate fantasies for me. But maybe they are for you...have you considered that you might be bisexual? There's nothing wrong with it.

Maybe you can clarify so that I can understand.

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by Eager Muscle

Okay, okay, let's forget the whole identifying with "straight," "gay" or anywhere else on the continuum.

Can someone please explain the following:...

We so need a sticky thread for this topic too.

but on another topic ... Hey MuscleJunkie -- glad to see you are still around! Still growing huge?

[TheMM]

Originally Posted by musclejunkie22

Abbraxis, I'm a little confused by your posts. In your first post you said,

"I'm also sexually attracted to the male body (as in I can masurbate to it)"

and then in a more recent post you said,

"I simply can't see myself... preforming... with a man.

With a woman? Yeah. I've dreamed about it, get hard when I think about it and feel like I could... preform... if the oppurtunity ever arrose. But not with a man."

They sound like two very conflicting statements. While I understand that you may be able to masturbate to the image of a man's body and not had sex with a man yet, I don't know why there's the mental block of performing with a man. Yet, you say that you've dreamed about and get hard when you think of having sex with a woman. Sorry, I'm a little confused and that may be because I'm not wired the same way as you. But generally, what I masturbate to is who I'm interested in having sex with. They're not two separate fantasies for me. But maybe they are for you...have you considered that you might be bisexual? There's nothing wrong with it.

Maybe you can clarify so that I can understand.

I agree. I'm bisexual myself, and it took me a couple years to figure out what I wanted to "call" myself. You can be bisexual, but "lean" more towards one sex, more then the other. You can want to have hot sex with a woman, but only masturbate to a man. I personally lean a bit from one side to the other every now and again.

I don't know how people are going to react if you choose to be bisexual, because there (to my knowledge) are very few bisexuals out there.


On a side note, I wish we were all bisexual, then humanity could check off one thing on the "Pointless Things to Debate about" list.

[musclejunkie22]

hey Corwin, good to be back. Still very muscular but not huge. Hovering between 185 and 190 and still pretty lean. I've finally hired a trainer to get me over the 190 hump. Can't wait. Thanks for asking...

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by musclejunkie22

hey Corwin, good to be back. Still very muscular but not huge. Hovering between 185 and 190 and still pretty lean. I've finally hired a trainer to get me over the 190 hump. Can't wait. Thanks for asking...

I thought about responding to the sexual orientation/sexual orientation identity stuff, but decided to respond to you instead :-)

I finally found a workout that is causing me to grow. Getting leaner again but hovering at 170 and looking pretty big. Just outgrew all my shirts, but luckily today is my birthday and I got gift cards for new clothes. Better look out or I'll be catching up and passing you soon ;-)

Take care...

[Frankly]

Originally Posted by Alan

Thanks for the thread. I too have been confused about my sexuality and this looks like a good place to discuss it.

I'm turned on by muscle and muscle growth of course. That's why I'm here. But it feels like that's all I've ever been attracted to. I would say I'm more homosexual than heterosexual but I've never felt sexual enough to want to date or be with someone. I've only had the tiniest of crushes (males and females) and one big time crush (male) yet it hasn't been enough to act on those impulses. While everyone else is talking about sex, I never understood what the big fascination is all about. I think part of the reason is that I'm used to being a loner and find it difficult to include people in my life. I've tried thinking of myself as both heterosexual and homosexual but neither feel right. Asexual isn't right either because I do have a muscle fetish but I'm not interested in having sex. As a 30-year old virgin, I'm not expecting that to change at this point in my life. It could also be like arpeejay wrote, that it's because I have zero experience.

The few people I've told have mostly been upset. They think I'm still closeted or that I just haven't found the right person yet or they can't understand how someone wouldn't want to have sex.

Oh, and I've never been to a gym. Forget the muscles on other guys, I'll get aroused from my own workout! It's faster for me to work out at home anyway.

I hear ya. I was never really interested in dating, never really felt sexual or the need for sexual encounters. I liked muscle, I liked how I did things, there was no reason to look for anything else.

Then I started going to a group discussion forum called Coming out, living after. Got to know some people, and really understood that I was not only not alone but also that it is important to look for someone else and try and experience all that the body has to offer.

if you don't know which way you swing, try both sexes. The only thing you are limiting is yourself. If you don't feel the need to connect with someone its up to you but in the end, it can be a pretty lonely experience. I know my grandfather has grown old very fast now that he is alone, just no one to live with and take care of him. I almost want to buy him a hooker, but that's a different thread.

[abbraxis]

Originally Posted by Eager Muscle

[COLOR=yellow]Why would a man have or want to have heterosexual sex, be totally into having sex with women, yet be "turned on" by a man's muscles, wanting to feel them, squeeze them, without wanting to have sex, touching cock or even kissing a man?[/COLOR]

Well, I toned it down a bit... hope you don't mind .

As for your question - I don't know, but I do know that the things you mentioned don't turn me on.

It's more of the domination with muscles... or being stronger than another guy... or lifting huge weights... that's what gets me. Maybe it's cause I've been rather puny and nonexsistent all my life, so the chance to be the complete oposite is apealing to me.

I've never had a "worship" session, but just thinking about touching another man's muscles makes me think I wouldn't enjoy it. Too... over the top... for me, anyway.

Again, I'm not even entirely sure as to what I am (hence the post) and am glad this started such a great discussion. It's interesting reading about other people - some who are/were in similar situations.

Gives me perspective.

Originally Posted by musclejunkie22

Abbraxis, I'm a little confused by your posts. In your first post you said,

"I'm also sexually attracted to the male body (as in I can masurbate to it)"

and then in a more recent post you said,

"I simply can't see myself... preforming... with a man.

With a woman? Yeah. I've dreamed about it, get hard when I think about it and feel like I could... preform... if the oppurtunity ever arrose. But not with a man."

They sound like two very conflicting statements.

I have to disagree.

When I said "preform", I mean "have sex with"... and I just can't see myself enjoying sex with a man. I don't get turned on when I watch it (I see it because of the cross over, sometimes) and I just skip the parts of stories that go into too much detail about anything sexual in nature.

I start to lose "it".

Originally Posted by musclejunkie22

While I understand that you may be able to masturbate to the image of a man's body and not had sex with a man yet, I don't know why there's the mental block of performing with a man. Yet, you say that you've dreamed about and get hard when you think of having sex with a woman. Sorry, I'm a little confused and that may be because I'm not wired the same way as you. But generally, what I masturbate to is who I'm interested in having sex with. They're not two separate fantasies for me. But maybe they are for you...have you considered that you might be bisexual? There's nothing wrong with it.

Maybe you can clarify so that I can understand.

I think it's cause they are seperate fantasies.

When I read stories or watch videos, part of me just gets jealous because I've always hoped to look like that... and if I ever reach that point I imagine such things wouldn't turn me on as much (I'll have myself ).

But I only just joined a gym and while I'm seeing results (more in what I can lift then anything real physical yet) I'm curious to see if I can get in the shape I want.

Anyway, I think you're absolutely right when you said "seperate fantasies".

The way I respect men is irrespective of the way I could love a woman. I can't love a man... and my best freind would be a perfect candidate for homosexual affection - but it's not there. All the girls say he has a big dick... but I really don't care (well, except maybe to compare and see how I "measure up", but I'm pretty sure all guys do this). Granted, I can't wait to see him without a shirt on at the beach, but I have no intention or desire to have sex with him. I love him like a friend... but that's it.

Anyway, it's very confusing and it's difficult to explain my motivations to others. Plus, I realize I talk too much...

Men (as I'm finding out) are surprisingly diverse in their sexuality, and that's satisfying.

[abbraxis]

A more specific question to ask may be: Is there a difference between physical and sexual attraction?

I guess this is the question I'm REALLY wondering...

[Eager Muscle]

I recall a newsmagazine study where babies were shown to be more "attracted" to "attractive" people.

Homo sapiens is apparently anthropologically hardwired to find certain features of either sex attractive regardless of trends. Think about it - babies are not influenced by the media. It's a very big picture - evolution, survival of the species, etc.

In this context, there is a big difference between physical and sexual attraction. You can be gay and go gaga for the attractiveness of a woman without being sexually attracted to her.

As Mrs. Garrett wisely said on an episode of "Facts of Life" (Talk about credibility, I should get mad rep points for that!) with respect to Blair's assertion that her boyfriend wasn't as retarded as suspected because he enjoyed the paintings at an art museum (and I paraphrase), "But Blair, anyone can appreciate something that's beautiful."


[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[AKA]

I'm gay. I'm very gay. I love being with women, I love women in general, I often find that I like them more than men -- but I have no desire, either overtly or subconsciously, to have sex with women.

That said, I don't think sexuality is as black and white as society in general would have us believe. We tend to be forced into roles and labels that make us conform to easy classification. You're either liberal or conservative, a Coke drinker or a Pepsi drinker, a dog or a cat person. Falling on one side or the other of the fence is somehow important, but also limiting and probably unrealistic.

I don't think you're gay if you like men with muscles. Obviously, there are plenty of muscular men who developed their bodies to an extreme degree and did so because they like how it looks and feels, and most of them wouldn't describe themselves as gay.

Frankly, you're still pretty young and I wouldn't worry so much about trying to fit yourself into easy labels. Find someone else who you want to be with, see if they want to be with you -- and be with them. Explore your desires, expand your boundaries, enjoy your life. Sex should be fun no matter who you do it with. Concentrate less on the "what am I?" and just go with the "do I like this?" and then do that.

A lot.

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by AKA

I'm gay. I'm very gay. I love being with women, I love women in general, I often find that I like them more than men --

That makes a lot of sense. You've date men, therefore you understand how truly screwed up we are. Very high maintenance. :-)

Originally Posted by AKA

but I have no desire, either overtly or subconsciously, to have sex with women.

That said, I don't think sexuality is as black and white as society in general would have us believe. We tend to be forced into roles and labels that make us conform to easy classification. You're either liberal or conservative, a Coke drinker or a Pepsi drinker, a dog or a cat person. Falling on one side or the other of the fence is somehow important, but also limiting and probably unrealistic.

agreed.

Originally Posted by AKA

I don't think you're gay if you like men with muscles. Obviously, there are plenty of muscular men who developed their bodies to an extreme degree and did so because they like how it looks and feels, and most of them wouldn't describe themselves as gay.

Here is where we either disagree or I'll take issue with the conflation of terms. Yes, they don't identify as gay, but as you said above, there is pressure to box oneself in to neat, defined categories.

There is something homoerotic for men who are into the male body to the extent most bodybuilders are. Whether they recognize or acknowledge that eroticism or act on it is a different story. How many posters here have we seen admit to denying the label "gay" but admitting to getting off with men (wrestling, flexing, oral sex, etc). True, some people experiment. Sexual orientation identity is different than sexual orientation.

Originally Posted by AKA

Frankly, you're still pretty young and I wouldn't worry so much about trying to fit yourself into easy labels. Find someone else who you want to be with, see if they want to be with you -- and be with them. Explore your desires, expand your boundaries, enjoy your life. Sex should be fun no matter who you do it with. Concentrate less on the "what am I?" and just go with the "do I like this?" and then do that.

A lot.

Back to agreement.

[Friday]

Same boat, again. Abbraxis' whole first post could have been describing me.

Me, I never understood why I felt so attracted to men physically when I find it so difficult to get along with them (such assholes, yet I'm attracted to them??). I have a much easier time making friends with women. And aside from that, learning about sex with a man is not a delightful process - asses are made for spitting out shit, why would you want to put your dick up there and find it a turn-on? Finally, dicks generally aren't pretty.

For a long time, there was this whole mental block. It went: "omg, look at his body, that muscle... so does this mean i'm gay?... do i want to have sex with men? ... man-sex cock arse shit ugly turn-off... wtf???" Hence confusion.

Hetero sex by comparison has such a clean, neat and pretty image (as do women in general). Merging of opposites, puzzle pieces interlocking, blah, blah. So of course I'd *want* to be straight. And even if you don't have a moral objection to being gay, it's harder to actually *be* gay than straight.

But firstly, trying to logic your impulses to fall in line with your ideals doesn't work. Secondly, from what I've heard and seen, actual hetero sex is hardly as neat and pretty as it is made out to be (except in movies). Thirdly, sex isn't so much about thinking of or looking at the other person's genitalia.

What helped me was the realisation that there was just this energy, sometimes, between myself and another person. A desire to be naked and in bed with them, to be *sexual*, even without an instant hard-on, even without seeing their genitalia or very much of their unclothed body. And for me, I think exclusively, these other people have always been men.

I still lust after and jerk off to muscle. I still find dick and ass distracting. But I'm pretty damn sure my sexual preference is for men. I'm still a virgin, but what experience I have backs me up on this.


That took longer than I thought. But I also wanted to try to answer Eager Muscle's question about hetero men wanting to worship other men's muscles but not have sex with them: I think there's a connection between knowing and appreciating the feel of your own body, and appreciating the feel of another male's body/muscles, the strength and the work it represents. I think it would be similar to "So this is what power feels like", and that sense of power can even be erotic, without becoming a need to have sex with the other person. In a way I think it's very self-focused, not much about the other person at all.
So I would guess, anyway

[Eager Muscle]

Thanks, Friday. I'm interpreting you to mean that the answer for some of you is hero-worship or straight man-crushes. I'll never be able to look at watching a ballgame on the tube with my buds, buffalo wings & Red Bull the same way again!


[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[jerseyflex]

[COLOR=#000000][COLOR=yellow]oops - tech issue - see below....[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]

[jerseyflex]

sorry about that (I have to create my posts in word then copy paste for some reason otherwise the site doesnt let me post - so here it is in a readbale font):

[COLOR=yellow]I cant believe how good this thread is and the quality of the responses. Its nice to see (in this crazy nasty mean world we find ourselves in today) a group of people reasonably discussing the issue.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]Its also reassuring to see others go through the same process. I can recall as a little boy when there would be bodybuilders on TV my very Irish catholic conservative father say “what a bunch of fags – covering themselves in oil and parading around in bikinis” – sentiment that was reinforced by my football player older brothers. So the early days of my interest were driven to the basement (literally….thats where my brothers weight set was located complete w/ a training manual that featured a bodybuilder)[/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]As Ive mentioned many times on here, I grew up a swimmer and hence, hard muscular bodies in speedos. The indoor pool where we swam during the winter was at a local college and was connected to the weight room. Large windows from the weight room overlooked the pool. Muscular college kids lifting, need I say more. I can recall j-ing off to muscle imagery as early as elementary school.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]When I eventually went to college I finally shed the embarrassment I had for my interest in the sport and went after it full force and was completely hooked. I treated myself to Muscle mags (these were the pre-internet days…..Robert Kennedy’s MuscleMag was always my favorite). Practically every single night (when I did not have a room mate) I would use them to have a nice session, drift off to sleep and then usually another in the morning when I awoke.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]After graduation I moved to NYC and started to learn about gay-dom. (I grew up in a rural conservative area, and went to a conservative college) My gym in the city had many gay men and something in me went from uncomfortable and phobic to quite comfortable and curious. So I became friends with some. And, coincidentally, one of my college bodybuilding partners came out. This is when I entered what I now refer to as my exploratory stage. Having been completely naked in front of other muscular men and having had a few three-somes (with my muscle head roommate and a girl he brought home one night) I was fine with being in the flesh with other guys but never had any form of sexual contact (again, the three-somes involved me and my roommate taking turns with the girl – although there was some touching between me and him but it was strictly limited to each others’ muscles). [/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]So in this stage I wondered if I was “closeted” or at the very least “bi-curious” so I set out to push the envelope. Around 98 I was in killer shape and on the verge of competing. (btwn 195 and 210 nicely ripped and defined) I was traveling a lot for work and lifted in gyms from The Mecca (Golds in Venice…..my all time favorite) to a couple of gyms in San Fran (including the Castro) to the gyms in Tampa (Hyde Park) where Repetrope films its videos and a slew of gyms all over the states in between. (How could I forget Giant’s gym near Portland and Quad’s gym on the north side of Chicago….any “Lakeview Boys” on here?!?!)[/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]I have come to a few basic conclusions. A vast majority of men and women are attracted to strong sexy bodies. For me, it’s the confidence and power as well as the aesethics. I strongly agree with the above poster that talks about how simply beautiful a woman and the woman’s body is. The curves, the lines. As for men, sure great pecs / delts / bi’s / abs / quads look great but the schlong and its neighboring nut sack are pretty nasty. And talk about nasty, just cant fathom sticking anything that serves as the outflow for bacteria infested waste.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]Another conclusion: guys who work out and take care of themselves are inherently very physical people. I have lost many relationships with women because I am so physical. I thought I might need to seek help for some form of sexual addiction to hot, sweaty, physical, trash the bedroom kind of sex (Im telling you all – you want a ride to remember, bang a girl on steroids. HOLY SHIT. They will work you til you pass out). As a result, some of these guys don’t get what they need from women so they try men. Some really intense muscleheads I knew always had to be the top dog because of the power. Others lived with another bb-er and would shower together, sleep together, worship each other, j-each other off but that was it. Never any sex other than oral and some didn’t even do that. But as you know, bb-ing is a lonely sport that requires EXTREME DISCIPLINE so they are happiest living with another bb-er to share the diet – training – and sleep regimine. I knew a few bb-ers who got married and became incredibly depressed because the wife did not realize just how much went into the bb-ing and so they asked them to give it up. (Ever meet a guy who was once at the pinnacle of physical perfection who then falls out of shape? This is why so many kill themselves – R.I.P Paul “Quadzilla” DeMayo)[/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow][/COLOR]
[COLOR=yellow]Sorry for the long post but Ive got close to 20 years pondering and exploring this topic and have met tons of like minded people over the years.[/COLOR]

[arpeejay]

All this reminds me that people are squeamish about the funniest things, and with no particular rhyme or reason:

Frankly, I think a man's genitals can be beautiful (and some gnarly) and while I'm not particularly into assholes per se a nice bubble butt will start my heart pounding right away. Ditto, I'm indifferent to a woman's pussy, which isn't so surprising (I'm a gay man, after all), but it puts me ahead plenty of gay men who think they are totally nasty. (And how about the human mouth? Most people don't get all squicked about kissing but it's arguably a "nastier" place than any of the others!)

There's nothing inherently nasty about any of them, provided they're washed and cared for.

Dos centavos, for what it's worth...

Richard

[hulkoutlvr]

Ok, anyone who thinks that being gay is a choice you decide later in life, here's my story. See if you can put two and two together.

By age 3 1/2, I had three heroes: my mother, Wonder Woman, and the Bionic Woman. When they weren't available, Charlies Angel's would do. I always found chicks who could kick ass fascinating. Funny though how female bodybuilders kind of gross me out.

By age 8, other boys were calling me "faggot". I didn't know what the word meant. When I came home and told my folks that's what I was being called, they became very very angry. Kids tend to pick up on that stuff even more quickly than adults. If you're different, the other kids know it.

By age 9, my favorite movies were The Wizard of Oz, The Thornbirds, and the old Titanic. My favorite singer was Dottie West. Now people tell me they think it was because she wore Bob Mackie clothes, and they say we gays know fashion at any age.

At age 10, I discovered Albert (Matthew Laborteaux) on Little House on the Prairie. He was my first real gay celebrity crush. My sister got very upset when I remarked that he was "pretty". I didn't know the words 'sexy' or hot. I just thought he was handsome. I didn't know why.

Looking back, all of these things should have spelled Gay with a big flaming red sign. Funny, although I knew I had feelings for other boys even as a child, the didn't become sexual in nature until age 12, when puberty hit.
Well I do remember getting hard ons at age eight watching Lou bust out of his shirt on the hulk. Does that count as sexual. I mean I had a hardon but an eight year old doesn't know what to do with one.

Any thoughts?

[agreatguy6]

Originally Posted by TheMM

I don't know how people are going to react if you choose to be bisexual, because there (to my knowledge) are very few bisexuals out there.

Wow, MM, you should move to Georgia.
Shockingly enough, there are a LOT of Bisexuals down here.


@ hulkoutlvr:
i feel ya, when i was in 4th grade (dunno if i've said this elsewhere before or not) i saw dragonball z and had a raging hardon
so i sat in the bathroom half the time because no one ever told me that you didn't only feel weird down there when you had to use the bathroom xD

then i was in 5th grade, doing a project on Jack the Ripper. Note to self: jacktheripper.com doesn't lead you to a website about jack the ripper.
needless to say, being raised by two women, i was thoroughly disgusted, being a firm believer in female rights.

6th grade: ran across gay porn for the first time. I had NO clue what the deal was, but I liked it. I saw guys kissing guys, and they all had HUGE cocks. And i thought to myself: now THIS is love. This makes sense to me. Yet somehow I didn't connect that with me being gay :/

7th grade: went into a hole because my parents sent me to christian school. they were quite evil. one of my best friends was an exhibitionist. I was far from amused, and I didn't approve.

8th: fairly uneventful except for me having a dream about having sex with one of my classmates

High School: I finally said "screw it ya'll, i'm gay. Deal with it"

so here I am xD

[arpeejay]

Great post, Agreatguy! (Well, not the Christian school part but even that was kinda funny!) Reminds me that:

First time I had an orgasm I was in bed and thought I'd pee'd myself. Then I went to the bathrom and nearly died because there was all this stuff coming out. "Oh My God!" I thought. "I broke my dick." (No one ever told me about orgasms or that semen looked different than pee.) And then I thought:

"Oh! Maybe it's THAT stuff!"

So here I am, roughly 20,000 orgasms later!

xoxo

Richard

[hulkoutlvr]

20,000? Ok Richard, now it's official. Not only am I in love with your chest, but you're my hero!

[abbraxis]

Originally Posted by jerseyflex

[COLOR=yellow]Around 98 I was in killer shape and on the verge of competing. (btwn 195 and 210 nicely ripped and defined)[/COLOR]

At 98?! DAMN! Good for you, dude!



I'm sorry... I couldn't let that go...

But thanks for all the posts guys. It's informative to see how we've all "come into our own". Interesting, too.

[TheMM]

Originally Posted by abbraxis

At 98?! DAMN! Good for you, dude!



I'm sorry... I couldn't let that go...

Hey now! Bein a goof is my job!...Meanie...

Also, I totally agree with hulkoutlvr, Rich, you are my hero! 20,000 j/o's...dang...that's totally boggling my mind.

[arpeejay]

Hulkoutluvr:

It's just math, babe! 38 yrs x 365 days x 1.5 per day (on average)

Comes out to about 20,000!

xoxo

Richard

[Eager Muscle]

Wow, lots of great replies on this thread.

BTW, a real way to simplify the question of attraction to sexuality may be this: Rosie O'Donnell has (had) a crush on Tom Cruise. Does that clarify things for anybody?


[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker [/COLOR]

[Username3]

There are some people who aren't just one or the other.
Some people are both, like Bisexual

If you're not sexualy attracted to female's then you probally are gay, but I don't know!

[Eager Muscle]

[COLOR="Yellow"]"Others lived with another bb-er and would shower together, sleep together, worship each other, j-each other off but that was it. Never any sex other than oral and some didn?t even do that. But as you know, bb-ing is a lonely sport that requires EXTREME DISCIPLINE so they are happiest living with another bb-er to share the diet ? training ? and sleep regimine"[/COLOR]

Omg, maybe I AM straight!

Seriously Jerseyflex, I think you dialed in to what I've been looking for all my life. Is this a bad thing? Does this work for some people? Are there more men out there that feel the way I do? Please chime in!

Seems that this should also be its own thread.



[COLOR="Red"]"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
- Dorothy Parker

"Faces fall, but a bicep's forever."
- Eager Muscle[/COLOR]

[BigLittleTim]

I had a "crush" on Gillian Anderson from the X-Files and all it meant was that I am really REALLY gay.



-BigLittleTim

[TheMM]

Originally Posted by BigLittleTim

I had a "crush" on Gillian Anderson from the X-Files and all it meant was that I am really REALLY gay.



-BigLittleTim

Wow, Gillian Anderson? That practically makes you a "stereotypical" gay!

Though for havin a crush on him, I certainly don't blame you. Woof!

[Frankly]

Originally Posted by AKA

I'm gay. I'm very gay. I love being with women, I love women in general, I often find that I like them more than men -- but I have no desire, either overtly or subconsciously, to have sex with women.

That said, I don't think sexuality is as black and white as society in general would have us believe. We tend to be forced into roles and labels that make us conform to easy classification. You're either liberal or conservative, a Coke drinker or a Pepsi drinker, a dog or a cat person. Falling on one side or the other of the fence is somehow important, but also limiting and probably unrealistic.

I don't think you're gay if you like men with muscles. Obviously, there are plenty of muscular men who developed their bodies to an extreme degree and did so because they like how it looks and feels, and most of them wouldn't describe themselves as gay.

Frankly, you're still pretty young and I wouldn't worry so much about trying to fit yourself into easy labels. Find someone else who you want to be with, see if they want to be with you -- and be with them. Explore your desires, expand your boundaries, enjoy your life. Sex should be fun no matter who you do it with. Concentrate less on the "what am I?" and just go with the "do I like this?" and then do that.

A lot.

I didn't know if this was specifically addressed to me or just using the term. I have seen the straightest guys on earth check out other guys. Muscle is attractive, one can recognize attractiveness in all people be they male or female (or something in between). Labels suck but they help us figure out who we are, which is a problem, especially if we do not have a specific term for what we are. Gay might not fit completely, straight doesn't fit either, the best fitting label for me would be bi in that i find men attractive as well as women. But i think this is insufficient. We need a term specifically for attraction to male muscle. a musexual or powerhunters. I like powerhunter.

[guymontreal]

i agree you, i am so too, i do not really know how i can do...

Originally Posted by abbraxis

Hello. I've been a LOOOOOOOOONG time reader and only just recently began posting. At some point I may even contribute a story... but that's still some time away.

Anyway, I want to know if other members here are like me and wanted to put this thread here for others to read and comment - maybe offering their life stories as well.

My issue is over my sexuality. I don't really know what I am...

(I sincerely apologize for the length... but bare with me.)


First of all, I'm a virgin. I'm only 20, so I'm not totally alone in my generation, but I'm definetely uncommon given the sexual prowess of others around me. I'm also sexually attracted to the male body (as in I can masurbate to it), however this only extends to the male body... not their genitalia. Nothing I have saved to my computer is nude. They're all partially clothed... just muscular .

Basically, I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. Sexual intercourse with a man simply does not intrest me (no matter the position). I mean no offense to anyone who is gay... I'm just sayin' it's not for me. If a Muscle Growth story mentions the penis I can usually tolerate it and find myself just skipping over any extended love scenes that may be in the story.

What "gets my goat" is the growth, the flexing, the showing off and then any heavy lifting that may be involved. My favorite stories are the ones that don't have sections of sex. I'm strictly into Muscle Growth, it seems.

Any wet dreams (nocturnal emissions) I have are of this nature. Basically, there are no penises.


But with that said... I don't know if I'm straight. I don't actually have any straight porn and honestly never watched any. In all seriousness, I'm more afraid of the sites and the potential of computer infection than anything they have there.

Basically, I've never masturbated to anything a straight person would.

I'd like to have sex with a women and find myself more and more obsessed with the almost primal urge to have sex... but then I wonder if I want to have sex with a woman cause I'm really straight... or just want to do it to prove I'm not gay.

I've had a few wet dreams involving women and there are several women (famous and not) that I would like to have sex with... but again, is it cause I want to... or feel obligated to do so.


I know I sound like a whiney brat... but it's always been something I think about... and am just curious if others here might be the same way.

[rippedspongebob]

To be honest, some of the posts in this thread concern me. Though some of the posts in this thread I think are positive role modeling and successful samples of self-actualized opinions as well. I say this not only as a fairly-well-self-actualized gay man and a muscle growth fetishist, but also as a mental health professional. There is naturally a fine line between healthy fetish and unhealthy paraphilia. Of course, sometimes the psychosexual development of a person involves exploring the continuum and going past that line to experience the positive and negative effects of taking their fetish too far or to the detriment of healthy sexual behaviors.

The same holds true for sexual orientation development and discovery as well: some naturally magnetize to their orientation, others take a varied path involving sampling different options, and yet others are polarized to extremes before settling on some middle ground. It is not uncommon for latent gays to balk at some of the ideas prevalent in the gay community like anal sex, gay pornography, an inclusive GLBT community, gay marriage, and the like. They may have been conditioned to think certain ways about these things that make it difficult for them to accept their own orientation because they do not yet feel comfortable accepting these facets. Some men could be out, proud, and activists for years, even in long-term relationships, but for some reason are threatened by the idea of a drag queen sitting down next to them in a bar, when they likely pose no threat to them, and probably less threat than a homophobic straight biker or something. So coming to terms with reality, adjusting one's expectations, and setting one's comfort levels is a life-long and naturally challenging process that we all deal with.

I would like to say to who are posting that they think they are straight or could not be gay, and similar self-talk, while they are fascinated by the male anatomy, that while I could poke fun at the obvious duplicity in your statements, I feel that you are victims of not having healthy, normal, and fully self-actualized role models of gay men prevalent in your life. I would also venture a guess that you don't have a lot of positive examples of fetishism in your life to help you draw the line between a fetish enjoyed in conjunction with one's own healthy sexual identity and a detrimental paraphilia which ignores or overwrites one's sexuality in exchange for an obsession about a fetishized body/body style/body part/non-sexual item/fantasy/etc. It's no one's fault, just the nature of fetish in that it's not always talked about, certainly never openly, and the nature of the internet in that there isn't a lot of face-to-face talking and it's difficult to express one's feelings in an open forum like this. It takes balls, actually.

So, while I have concerns about some folks, I think it's at least good that you're talking. I just hope that you're not absorbing some of the "bad advice" that is condoning negative self-actualization, compartmentalization of self, or denial of the reality of the situation: if you're attracted to men, you are at least somewhat homosexual (and to be bisexual is to be at *least* incidentally homosexual, before anyone misconstrues my language). You may not want to stare at dicks or suck on them or put them up your butt at first, but I'm sure adolescents embarking upon their sexuality at the normative and healthy time of their early teens do not initially want to engage in anal sex, cunnilingus, and the like immediately, either. It is a process, and in your case the process is more complicated than the usual delayed adolescent phase that gay men go through because you have a fetish that has actualized beforehand. Still, I have faith that each and every person posting here is on the way... you wouldn't be talking about it openly otherwise.