Alex in Muscleland Ch. 5

[Giga_Huge5000]

For all those still reading, here's the next part to Alex in Muscleland. Please enjoy!

Chapter Five: Advice From the Caterpillar

As Alex pushed aside gigantic blades of grass he wondered whether or not he would ever find his way out of here. He had been walking for the better part of an hour passing by grass, flowers, and seeds strewn in his path. It had been rough going and he was starting to get tired of seeing the same old thing over and over again. Ever since he had started following that strange man nothing had gone right for Alex. He had gained an incredible body, one that he never dreamed would be possible for him obtain, but at the cost of being lost in this strange world. Even though he was bigger than anyone else his age, compared to everyone here he was still small. And really what was the use of a killer body if no one was impressed by it? Alex loved it but he was still getting pushed around by these strange people. He wanted to just get back to normal size and get out of this strange place.

As he thought this, the grass in front of Alex was suddenly flattened as an enormous bare foot crashed down in front of him. Alex quickly stopped and waited until the giant feet passed. This had been happening over the last hour as well. Alex was starting to get frustrated with being so small. He had tried eating some of the grass, flowers, and seeds but they had done nothing to change him. Alex had come to the conclusion that only certain foods and drinks in this world changed his size.

?This world is so strange I wouldn?t be surprised if the flowers started talking or singing.?

Alex looked up at a rose as he thought this half expecting it to come to life and start talking. But that would be silly. He continued walking on and finally saw sign of life other than giant boys. Sitting far away on top of a mushroom was what appeared to be a caterpillar. Alex sighed. He had hoped that it would?ve been someone to talk to. But he still made his way over to the mushroom anyway. As he walked closer to the mushroom he suddenly became aware of someone singing.

?A?E, I, O, UUUU??

Alex looked around trying to see who was singing. But there was no one around. The only thing in sight was the caterpillar but he couldn?t be singing. Nevertheless, Alex kept hearing the song over and over again. When he was only a few feet (relatively speaking of course) Alex saw that colored letters were flying over his head each one representing a vowel. Alex ignored them and the singing and continued on to the mushroom, his mind turning back to other thoughts.

He hadn?t tried eating a mushroom yet. Alex always tried eating or drinking something with more than a little trepidation. There was always the chance that whatever he was consuming would cause him to shrink even more. With these thoughts in mind Alex approached the side of the mushroom He glanced up at the caterpillar and was surprised to see smoke wafting out of the caterpillar turning into the different colored letters as they floated over his head. Thinking this was rather odd Alex stood on his tip toes and looked over the edge of the mushroom. He cleared his throat and said, ?Excuse me? What are you doing??

In any other circumstance Alex would think he was going crazy. He was trying to talk to a caterpillar of all things! But in this world it not only seemed natural, it seemed right. It seemed even more normal since the singing stopped as soon as Alex talked to the creature. The caterpillar shifted and turned to face Alex. Alex took a step back as he was fixed by the gaze of a strange looking man. He looked to be only a few years older than Alex with long brown hair and slightly reddish eyes. He had a little stubble on his face and was smoking what appeared to be a joint. He was dressed in a wildly colorful rainbow shirt and purple pants his feet bare except for a pair of ratty sandals. On his back was a strange coat that had the same design of an average caterpillar which had thrown Alex off at the distance. Like most of the men in this world he had muscle on him but he was more of a light build closer to a gymnast or swimmer than a football player or bodybuilder. He took off his purple beret and said, ?Whoa man! What are you doing down here? This is my pad dude!?

Alex coughed a little as the man?s words came with a few puffs of sweet smelling smoke. When his throat was clear he managed to say, ?Who are you exactly??

?Who am I?? The man said quizzically. ?Man, who are you? Who is anybody??

?Okay?? Alex said slowly. ?Could you help me find my way out of here??

The man gazed vaguely into the distance before suddenly shouting, ?Who are you man?!??

Alex jumped back and said quickly, ?I?m not really sure myself. I mean, I know who I was this morning but since then I?ve been through so many changes I?ve been starting to wonder.?

The caterpillar man held up his hands and said, ?Whoa man you?re blowing my mind! Explain what you?re saying!?

Alex sighed and said, ?I can?t really explain myself since I don?t know what myself is you see.?

?Aw man I see a lot things but you are making no sense dude!?

?Well I can?t put it anymore clearly.? Alex said. ?Being so many different sized in one day is really confusing.?

The caterpillar man laughed somewhat hysterically and said, ?No it?s not man!?
Alex sighed again and said, ?Fine, whatever. But when you become a butterfly won?t it seem strange??

The hippy caterpillar slowly shook his head and said, ?No man. I saw the whole thing?in a vision! It ain?t gonna be strange at all man.?

Alex was already getting tired of talking to this strange man so he decided to cut the conversation off. ?Well it would be very strange to me.?

The caterpillar man suddenly darted forward and stared at Alex their faces only inches apart. ?You man? Who are you? Who sent you? The FBI? The CIA? My mother??

Alex quickly stepped back trying to get out of the stink of the caterpillar hippy?s breath and said, ?Why don?t you tell me who you are first??

The hippy sat back up and said, ?Why??

Alex rolled his eyes and said, ?Never mind.?

He ripped off a piece of the mushroom causing the whole thing to rock back and forth and the hippy to fall to his back. Alex had gotten about three feet away and was about to try the mushroom when the caterpillar man shouted, ?Hold up man! I have something very important to tell you!?

Alex sighed yet again and said, ?This had better be good.?

He made his way back to the mushroom, dropping the piece he had grabbed before, and arrived back at the mushroom to find the hippy on his back blowing smoke rings into the air. Alex crossed his arms and said, ?Well??

?You need to mellow out dude. You?ll die young if you keep worrying about everything.?

?Is that it?? Alex said, his anger rising again.

The hippy flipped onto his stomach and said, ?No.?

Alex waited for more but the hippy simply stared and smoked. He didn?t move at all except for the occasional burst of smoke that came out of his mouth around the joint.

When Alex was about to turn and leave again the hippy suddenly said, ?So you think you changed? How man??

Alex thought about it for a moment then said, ?Well for one thing I was never this muscular. I mean I?ve always tried but it never really worked. Also I was listening to a poem that these two men were telling and it somehow sounded vaguely familiar but I couldn?t place it.?

The hippy suddenly jumped up and said, ?You know poems man? That?s heavy! Tell me one.?

Alex was slightly taken aback by this and quickly started to say the first poem that popped into his head, ?How doth the little bumblebee??
The caterpillar quickly cut him off and said, ? No way man! That?s totally wrong! That poem goes like this!?

The man stood up and took a deep drag on his joint, held in the smoke for a moment, then began to recite the poem:

How doth the little hippy improve his greasy hair,
And stop creeping people out with every red rimmed stare.
How cheerfully he seems to smoke,
How neatly rolls his joint,
And welcome little visions in with every golden point.

Alex wasn?t sure what to say. The caterpillar man sat back down, hunching over and continuing to smoke, waiting for Alex to say something. Alex finally decided to say, ?I never really heard it said that way before.?

The hippy grinned and said, ?You?ve never heard it said right then man!?

The two men stared at each other for a good five minutes before the hippy said,
?What size do you want to be anyway man??

Alex thought about that. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he didn?t really mind so much the size as the changing. It was disconcerting. He said that to the caterpillar man who snorted and said, ?I don?t get you at all man. You?re not making any sense!?

Alex sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot with this guy. He said, ?Well I would like to be a little taller. Being three inches tall kind of sucks.?
The hippy got shakily to his feet and said, ?Screw you man! Three inches tall rocks!?
He flicked his joint at Alex who brushed the ash off his chest as the hippy tottered off the mushroom. He nearly face planted in the dirt but managed to catch himself. He looked back and said, ?One side makes you taller the other side makes you smaller man. Have fun.?

With that the hippy grabbed something behind his back and pulled a string. Instantly the caterpillar like coat on his back erupted into a pair of butterfly wings and flew away. Alex rubbed his eyes and wondered whether the smoke from that joint was messing with him. Either way, Alex pondered on the hippy?s words. The side of what? The other side of what? Looking around Alex mentally ticked off all the things that the caterpillar man couldn?t be referring to. The grass, flowers, dirt, seeds, weeds, and other such things were common in this whole area so it couldn?t be that. Finally, Alex?s eyes landed on the mushroom. It was round so there technically wasn?t two sides to it, but Alex didn?t let that stop him. Not much else made sense in this world and that caterpillar hippy had been the strangest so far. Climbing on top of the mushroom, Alex reached over each side and grabbed a small piece off. He looked them both over and suddenly realized something. Which side did which? Alex bit his lower lip as he looked back and forth between the two pieces. One would make him taller and he?d be able to walk a lot easier than trying to navigate a jungle of grass while conversely one side would make him smaller and make everything a lot more difficult. Then again, he was sitting on a gold mine of size change and he was holding two separate ?sides? of the mushroom so he wouldn?t be in too much trouble if he started shrinking. So Alex measured the two pieces and took a nibble out of the bigger one. He waited to see what would happen. He stood up and looked around trying to judge if anything was growing bigger or smaller. He relaxed after about five minutes of tense standing and looked at the mushroom pieces in confusion. Maybe the hippy didn?t know what he was talking about after all?

Of course as soon as he thought this Alex felt his body surge upward, out of the grass, into the trees, and ending when his head was just popping out from the tops of the trees. His body had predictably ballooned in muscle as well effectively trapping him in place in the tight confines of the canopy. He seemed to be getting stuck a lot lately?

Before he could so much as move a massive muscle, a shrieking came from somewhere below him. Alex looked around and saw a small man with wings coming out of his back hovering over the trees. He was lithely built and had short black hair. He wasn?t wearing much except a Speedo and a vest and he was holding what appeared to be eggs in his hands. Alex tilted his head, wondering what the strange man was up to when the man turned to him and shouted, ?You monster! You destroyed my nest!?

Alex looked confused as he said, ?Nest? What nest??

The man flew up to Alex?s hair and tugged out what appeared to be half a nest. He shook it in Alex?s face and shouted, ?This nest!?

Alex smiled embarrassedly and said, ?I?m sorry. I didn?t mean to.?

The man kicked Alex on the nose and said, ?You monsters are all alike! If you?re not destroying nests you?re stealing ideas! You?re just like that miserable Dodo!?

Alex frowned and said, ?Hey, don?t compare me to that whack job!?

The man almost lost his eggs he was so distraught. ?That Dodo stole my heritage from me! Look at my wings!?

He flapped them and Alex had to admit they were beautiful wings. The feathers were basically brown but melted into several complementary colors of hazel, coffee, and milky brown as they reached the wingtip. They were much better looking than Dodo?s wings that was sure. Alex was still confused on one point though. ?So your wings are real??

The man rolled his eyes and said, ?I?m flying aren?t I? My family was born with wings but that stupid wannabe tried to make wings of his own to copy me! Now everyone thinks I?m a fraud! I was ostracized from my hometown and forced to live in a nest in the trees! Do you know how hard it is to take care of kids alone in a tree? Even my significant other left me!?

Alex wasn?t sure he wanted to know about that whole situation so he simply sidestepped it by apologizing again. This just seemed to anger the man more. ?Sorry? You?re sorry? What does that leave me?!?!??

Alex knew that he wasn?t going to get anywhere with this man so he did the only thing he could think of. With the man?s shouts still echoing in his ears, Alex managed to pull the arm with the shrinking mushroom on it above the tree line and take a bite of it. Instantly he shrank down back into the grass landing on the mushroom. Alex raked his hands through his hair, happy to find the nest had fallen out as he shrank. It was peacefully quiet with the bird man?s shouting silenced and Alex took the moment to relax a little. He noticed his body had put on a little more muscle thanks to his recent growth spurt. If he kept this growing thing going he would eventually be able to become a competitive body builder. Standing up again, Alex carefully licked the growing side of the mushroom and swiftly shot up to his normal height. He sighed and stowed the two pieces of mushroom in his Speedo since he had no other place to put them. Happy to be at his normal height again, Alex continued down the path that was now visible to him, wondering what sort of strange occurrence would befall him next.

He didn?t have to wait long before he came to a clearing in the woods with a small house standing in it. Alex stayed back for a moment since the house was only a foot tall and therefore quite small compared to him. After all the commotion he had thus far caused Alex was hoping to avoid another incident, so with a quick bite he was back down to three inches tall, ready to go into the house and see if he could find someone to help him along his way.

[sexiscriptor]

so good, man; so fucking good
i feel like the story is sound a little less like Carroll than it did at the beginning; the purely absurdist whackery & wordgames. Not that i'm complaining, really; it's still a great story, i just thought i'd point that out. I have no problem hearing your own voice instead ;p
~Palmer

[chocomus]

Nice story bud, really mad story, I laughed a lot