Growing Lonely 4

[ldaniel13]

Previous Chapters of Growing Lonely [COLOR=Yellow](1) (2) (3)[/COLOR]

As usual, thanks for all of the kind comments. I forgot how much time and emotional investment writing takes. However, I guess that every good thing in life requires time and emotional investment. Please enjoy.

Growing Lonely 4

Part One (Eric)

?...so I?m basically gay,? I murmured under my breath.

I was laying in bed looking up at the dark ceiling. It was the day before my first day of high school. My mind was filled with silence--I was only following the occasional sounds of passing cars and their lights shining on the ceiling through the blinds. This confused state of mind combined with the late hour seemed to keep the thoughts of others at a healthy distance. I was finally allowed some silence.

Maybe I was just gay for Ricky if there was such a thing, but that might just be me trying to rationalize my situation. This was obviously something that I had already struggled a long time trying not to admit. I would just have to test the waters a bit.

If only I could have admitted this to myself earlier, then it would have been easier for everyone. I had always known that I depended on Ricky more than a typical friend, but I could never admit why Ricky was so important to me. It might not have been too late for Ricky and me to be together.

Apparently, it took getting huge, gaining some confidence, and having my first gay sexual experience while half-unconscious to admit that I ?might? be gay. As if the risk of losing my best friend shouldn?t have been enough. Not that I would know, but Ricky was everything that someone would want in a boyfriend... even though he might be a little too small for me now. I didn?t care about that, though. I wanted to get big for myself, but Ricky will always be just right for me.

I thought about how I would watch his tight little body out of the corner of my eye when we used to go running together for his cross country practice and how I would tousle his spiky black hair whenever he made one of his cornier jokes. The thought of touching him made me smile.

?Yeah, I?m pretty sure that I?m gay,? I sighed resignedly.

Oh, well... I guess that I could just tell him sometime and see if that changes anything. School starts tomorrow. ?I wonder what he will think of how I look,? I thought while rubbing my grapefruit-sized biceps.

If Ricky doesn?t like me anymore, then I suppose there is always Marco. He seems very... devoted. I don?t know if that would qualify him as good boyfriend material. His thoughts are rather obsessive. When I was around him at the gym, he didn?t seem to think about anything other than my muscles, not that I didn?t appreciate his help and his desire to make me even bigger. He was one of the only people that was capable of spotting me anymore; however, there were more important things in life than just having a good spotter.

I hadn?t brought up that evening in the locker room that we shared last week, and he seemed to be pretending that it never happened. The next day he was suddenly acting like we had always been friends. All of his hostility was gone, and he seemed to be on the ?Grow Eric? instead of the ?Hurt Eric? bandwagon. He didn?t even think about sex at all while we were working out. I was definitely confused by him. It was like he was an entirely different person now.

We would make quite the intimidating couple...

I was finally getting tired enough to fall asleep. As I was drifting off, I thought about the difference between Marcus? and Ricky?s eyes. Both were grey, but Marcus? seemed tired and hard. Ricky?s eyes were bright and warm.

I remembered his wide grin and shining eyes last fall when he got placed second in the divisional cross country meet. I was there to cheer him on at his important races, and he would come to my baseball and basketball games. However, I most vividly remembered his eyes shining with tears when I just stared at him uncomfortably after seeing his drawing of me. I?m sorry. How was I supposed to act? How am I supposed to truly know myself when I am so young?

He must have felt like a freak or something.

In the dim light, through heavy-lidded eyes, I saw the drawing on the wall next to my bed. I had taken it out from under my mattress and hung it with pride. I wasn?t ashamed anymore. If only it wasn?t too late.

Part Two (Ricky)

I am not doing well.

?You have to look normal,? I whispered under my breath and made myself smile, a pathetic, weak little smile.

Act like your summer was fine. Don?t show any negative emotions. It will only make people ask questions or be concerned. Then, they might tell my mom, and she might get even more worried than she is already. She might send me away. I don?t need any more doctors.

I walked quickly along the sidewalk leading up the the school entrance. If I walked fast enough, then nobody would talk to me. I was dodging in and out of crowds of students that had gotten off of their busses and were standing around and talking excitedly about their summers. A couple of people called my name, but I acted like I didn?t notice them.

I felt my anxiety rising. There were too many people. I had always been a people person, but I don?t know where that old Ricky went. I managed to get to my class, geometry, and stare vacantly out the window at nothing until the bell rang.

Was Eric here? Don?t look around. I won?t be able to focus during class if I see him. Don?t think about it. He made how he felt clear enough.

There was someone huge a couple of seats forward. He must be a senior or something because only an upperclassman could be that big. He was sitting in his much too small desk with his hands at his sides, possibly worried that it might break and that he might have to catch himself. All of the kids around him seemed to be casting glances at him and whispering or giggling to their friends.

Jenny was really flirting with the guy. She kept trying to attract his attention by staring at him, but he didn?t seem to be responding.

He was rather attractive... he had the same coloring as Eric. I looked away. The last thing that I need is some big, hulking senior thinking that I have a crush on him. He would probably kill me if he thought that I was looking at him that way. Everyone else would ridicule me, too. My dad told me that I should probably get used to that.

The class passed by slowly. I copied the notes that the teacher wrote on the board carefully, not looking at anyone. I thought that I saw the big blond guy glancing at me a couple of times. I wonder if someone saw me looking at him earlier. If they had told him, he would probably try to beat me up after class.

I realized that I had been fiddling with the long sleeves of my shirt. I looked down to make sure that nothing was showing, pulling the sleeves over half of my hands but leaving enough of them exposed so that I could still write.

After an hour of focusing only on the teacher?s pleasantly monotonous voice, I sighed and closed my notebook and packed my bag, eager to make it to my next class so that I wouldn?t have to deal with anybody.

The bell rang.

I stood up, in a hurry to get out of the room. I was looking down at my shoes.

That guy was standing in front of me. I was staring at his black jeans. His legs were massive and tightly encased by the material. His stance was solid and confident.

I didn?t know what to do. I couldn?t look up at his face.

?Please move,? I said quietly.

Surprisingly, he reached out and put his hand under my chin, nudging it upward. His hands were strong and calloused. There were veins running up the back, running to his hugely muscled forearms and bulging biceps. His polo shirt was stretched tight at the shoulders, clearly defining his lean, muscular body.

I grabbed his arm with both of my hands to push it away, but it felt like my strength was inconsequential compared to his. He gradually and surprisingly gently tilted my head up, up until I was looking into his ice-blue eyes. My eyes had travelled over his chiseled pecs to his thickly muscled neck, to his square jaw, to his lips curved faintly into a smile, to his finely sculpted nose. Oh, I knew that face as well as my own...

?Eric...? I barely managed enough breath to speak.

Of course. God hates me. My dad told me that God hates people that ?chose? to be gay. This was just further taunting. How could he be so fucking beautiful? It must be punishment. How did he get so huge unless it was some miraculous gift from God? If he didn?t let go of me soon, I knew that my heart would burst. I couldn?t deal with this.

?Ricky, how are...?

?Let go of me.? My voice was cold, emotionless. I added a few more bricks to the mental wall to hold everything back. I couldn?t let anything through. It would just hurt too much. I could only leave enough of myself exposed to function... barely.

Eric slowly withdrew his hand. There was no expression on his face. He was just staring at me, but his eyes were slightly glazed over, like he was looking through me.

?Nothing,? he muttered. ?I don?t hear anything.?

That?s right, I?m nothing. I quickly turned and ran out of the room, knocking people out of the way as I passed. I heard angry voices and a few people shoved me, but I didn?t care. I had to get out of there. I felt his eyes on me as I left. On me but not truly looking at me. As I thought, it was as if I was inconsequential to him.

Don?t let anyone see you falling apart.

If it gets too bad, you can finish what you tried this summer. If it gets too bad, you can end it. Eric and my dad would probably be relieved.

Don?t let anyone see until it is too late...

Part Three (Eric)

I stood in the bathroom holding a bloody Kleenex to my nose. It had almost stopped bleeding. I don't think that anyone saw. I guess that I had tried too hard to pick something up from Ricky. Something that wasn?t there. Maybe he really doesn?t care at all.

I still had a couple of minutes before class started.

Nothing. I didn?t hear anything. It was as if he didn?t feel anything at all, not even annoyance. Most people?s thoughts register at least a little bit when they are near me. If they have the slightest emotional response, I usually hear at least some of their thoughts. Sometimes, I was even starting to pick up thoughts that had nothing to do with me. Even though the last thing that I needed was more mental noise, I was becoming more and more sensitive.

Something wasn?t right, though. Ricky had been like a void in the room full of noisy mental chatter. Something looked off about him, too. He had a strange vacant look on his face during class, and he looked so unhappy.

I am still his friend. I will always be his friend. I still care about him. I will have to keep trying. Even if he doesn?t want to be friends anymore, I need to make sure that he is alright.

I checked myself in the mirror one more time. There was a tiny dried up trickle of blood on my upper lip. I quickly moistened a paper towel in the sink, wiped off the evidence of my abnormality, and headed for class. I could only hope that these bloody noses weren?t a sign of something more serious, like hemorrhaging into my skull or something. It?s not like I could just get a cranial CT scan without having a damn good reason. Insurance doesn?t typically just whip those out for 14 (almost 15) year olds. Plus, they might find some evidence of the treatment.

This coming weekend is my birthday. It will be the first that I have celebrated without Ricky since... ever, as far as I can remember.

As I was distractedly walking down the hall, I felt a small hand on my forearm and heard a girl?s voice hurriedly say, ?Hey, Eric. Do you want to do anything this weekend. I don?t know if you had plans, but some of my friends and I are going out to a movie on Saturday. You have plenty of admirers that would LOVE to hang out with you.?

She paused, smiled knowingly, and nudged me in the ribs. ?There will even be some sophomore girls there.?

?I know how boys are,? she was thinking. ?After him turning me down this summer, I don?t think that he is interested, but maybe he will change his mind if I give him some time.?

I didn?t want to be alone on my birthday. I also didn?t want to give her the wrong impression. I realized that I was most likely gay--not that I was prepared to tell anyone else that yet with the possible exception of Ricky (if he even cared).

I just REALLY didn?t want to be alone. I won?t be that guy who celebrates his birthday alone with his mom and dad. I'm a fucking stud, aren?t I?

I smiled as much as I could manage. ?I would love that.?

Jenny smiled hugely, squeezed my arm slightly, winked, and slowly removed her hand, her mind screaming her desire to maintain her hold on my meaty forearm as well as do other things that left me blushing. The blush seemed to raise her confidence because she was practically strutting down the hall away from me.

That was when I looked over to the lockers across from me, to the one area of mental silence in the hallway.

There was Ricky. I could practically locate him by the absence of feeling. He was completely expressionless, but I thought that his eyes were swimming with moisture. Maybe I was just projecting, hoping that he felt something toward me besides apathy. I wondered how long he had been standing there.

I started to move towards him, wanting to ask him if he was alright, but he quickly ducked away into the crowd of dispersing students.

That was pretty much how he acted for the first two months of school.

***

The movie was alright.

Afterwards we went out for pizza and the group of girls giggled at whatever I said and used every opportunity possible to touch me, brushing my wrist suggestively as they were passing me the parmesan as if that was the sexiest thing ever, snuggling up next to me in the booth and telling me how cold it was in the pizzeria, saying how manly I was for eating more pizza than all of the girls put together. I would say that I was a pig, as usual, but they somehow found it sexy. It was like a contest to see who could get me to blush the most. Jenny invariably won, probably because her thoughts were the most brazen. She just took my blushing as an incentive to continue.

I have to admit. It did feel nice to be touched. I certainly wasn?t feeling lonely on my birthday, but I wish people wouldn?t just try to steal intimate moments with me. First, that fucked up thing with Marco and now Jenny. I don?t feel like I?m making a choice with my relationships. ?Poor huge muscle-head feeling taken advantage of,? I thought self-deprecatingly. Getting all of this muscle was supposed to open new doors for me, but I have found that it doesn?t seem to help as much as I thought it would. The one person that I really wanted to share this with isn?t even talking to me.

When I left, Jenny acted like she was going to give me a hug but kissed me on the cheek.

I was lonely, and I wanted to make a choice.

I bent down and kissed her on the mouth. It was long and soft, but slightly awkward. It was nice... but I thought of Ricky?s blank stare in the hallway last week, and it made me feel guilty.

Bad choice.

Ricky never pretended that he was something other than himself. He hadn?t come out to his friends yet, but I don?t think that he would have denied it if I had asked him before. He certainly wouldn?t be out kissing girls that he had no intention of dating in order to make him feel better about himself.

Jenny smiled beautifully. Her bangs were covering her eyes from my sight, but that couldn?t hide the joy radiating from her mind. She is only 14 and she thinks that I am ?the one.? This was her first kiss. I?m such an ass.

?I?ll see you at school,? I managed to say as she was getting in her older friend?s car.

When I got home, I was feeling bad, so I quickly checked to see if she was online.

I instant messaged her as follows:

?I?m gay. Please don?t tell that to everyone. It is a relief to tell someone finally; you?re the first. I really don?t care anymore about hiding it, but I thought that it would make things more difficult for me at school--not that people would make fun of a gigantic muscle-beast of a boy like me. I hope that we can be friends. I seriously mean it. I really didn?t want to string you along.?

After about a minute, she responded:

?I knew that you were too good to be true. I am okay with keeping your secret as long as you truly meant that about being friends. Plus, if guys see me hanging out around you, then they will probably think that I am pretty hot stuff to catch your attention. lol.?

I smiled to myself, and I realized that I hadn?t been smiling that much lately despite getting the muscles that I thought that I had wanted more than anything.

***

Over the next month, my muscle growth did not slow. I was slightly heavier than Marco now at 306 pounds, which was fucking ridiculous at my age. I could have gotten into bodybuilding or something, but that would raise some interesting questions about why I was growing so fast. My vertical growth seems to have slowed down somewhat. The last that I measured, I was about 6? 7?.

My dad was getting increasingly nervous. He knew that people would start asking questions soon. He kept asking me if I want to go to the doctor. He says that he would be okay with admitting to the experimental treatment. I told him that I am fine, which I am. I have never felt as good in my own body as I do now. I accept that I am fucking awesome looking, not to have a big ego or something. I think that everyone should feel great about their bodies regardless of their size. For some people, that is a difficult concept to accept, however. Some people like me 4 months and half a body ago.

People give me their respect, awe, and lust. Sometimes, it would be nice to get more genuine feelings from them, like friendship or love that isn?t just based on my not-entirely-natural physical looks and power, but that?s okay for now. With my mind-reading ability, at least I can tell the difference. It is probably much harder for ?normal? people with extraordinary physiques.

Tonight, I was just starting to let Marco measure me. We were in the locker room right before closing time.

He has been as good a friend as any other that I have right now. It?s not the same as how things were with Ricky, but he definitely likes me. He desperately likes me. He would do anything for me. His thoughts were almost always about me, and he has done a lot at the gym to help me lately. I felt like I should repay him somehow. He always looked so tired, like he wasn?t sleeping well. It was like he thought that he existed just to serve me and help me grow.

He measured my calves with the tape, not quite looking into my eyes as he read off the results, ?21.? He slowly raised his arms to my waist, measured my waist at ?35?. He was barely touching me, but he was struggling with his desire to rest his face on the incredibly defined muscles of my abs.

He stood and wrapped the tape around my chest, ?62?. He was breathing heavily.

I lifted my arm and flexed slightly so that he could measure it. ?23?. He wanted to touch me, to hold me so badly, but he wouldn?t without my permission. He let the tape drop, and he was looking away uncomfortably, trying to gather himself before congratulating me on my progress. He was so tired and... feeling worthless and inadequate.

When he looked more vulnerable like this, he reminded me of Ricky. I felt sad and lonely. I didn?t have a reason not to touch him, besides the age thing, and since my feelings for Ricky made me realize that I was gay...

With my head tilted down, I reached behind him and drew him next to me. I wrapped one huge arm about his waist and let my other hand rest on the back of his head.

Pressed up next to me, his whole body tensed up like he was going to suddenly bolt from the locker room. Then, he let his head rest against my neck, and he started shaking. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that he was sobbing. This huge, almost 300 pound bodybuilder was nuzzling against my neck and soundlessly crying his eyes out. It felt good to hold him. It felt good to be the strong one. It had been a long time since I had cried like he was. It was like we had switched places. I was the adult, and he was the boy.

After a few moments, he looked up at me hesitantly. ?What do you want from me? I.. I.. I?m not worthy of you.? His voice was cracking. ?Do you want to hit me?? He looked almost hopeful, like that was something that he could at least understand, like he had never known a kind touch or a simple, no strings attached hug from a friend or lover.

?Shhh... I don?t want to hit you.?

?But haven?t I done a good job helping you in the gym? I live for you, now. You are more than I will ever be. I understand if you want to hurt me. It?s your right.?

It was so heartbreakingly sad. He was broken inside. A buried area of his mind opened to my sight. I saw images of a foster child being beaten and abused, always told that he was too weak. Growing up, he had overcompensated. He always struggled to be the biggest so that he wouldn?t have to live in fear that he wasn?t strong enough or macho enough to protect himself, to protect the fragile reality that was hidden behind the swaggering brute that showed himself in the gym. Deep down, he was really just a small, broken child.

When he was less than 10, I saw him feeding a stay dog, the ragged dog licking his fingers affectionately. His foster father had come outside and kicked the dog in the head so hard that he broke it?s neck. That was a major turning point for Marco. If you were the weak one that depended on others, then they would hurt or kill you.

?NOBODY has the right to hurt others. You should live for yourself.? My voice was harsh with emotion.

He flinched back in my arms, but I held him tightly, forcing him to face me, to face someone that cared, someone that wouldn?t hurt him despite being stronger than him. I bent my head down and kissed him, and it felt right. More right than with Jenny. Marco wants me, and I guess that I want him, too. Ricky... doesn?t want me.

Marco melted into the kiss, shivering slightly as I held him.

When I released him from the kiss, he looked up into my eyes, like he was actually looking at me instead of just at my muscles. It was like he was waking up from a long dream. His tired, angry eyes cleared and filled with... hope.

?Do you uh... want to do something sometime? I mean... outside of the gym. I don?t know how good that would look for us to be seen in public together, but you definitely don?t look 15, so maybe it will be... alright. I guess that I could use a... friend or whatever else you want from me. I think that maybe I would like to talk to someone. I have been holding things in for a long time and my life has gotten pretty fucked up. Could you help me? Please??
?Sure. I have a feeling that we will get along much better now.?

He was thinking that he didn?t want to be alone tonight, and I didn?t think that that was the best thing for him, either. I was also starting to think that maybe I would grow to like him as much as he liked me. I think that I was only just then getting to know the real Marco. Hell, even Marco probably didn?t know the real Marco.

I gingerly released him, my mental image of him as a fragile child difficult to banish completely from my thoughts, and I called my dad from my cellphone. ?Dad, I?ll be staying at a friend?s house tonight.?

Marco smiled next to me. It was a genuine, warm smile, the first that I had ever seen from him, and I smiled back.

Apparently, life is more complicated than I once thought.



~Hopefully, I will somehow find enough time to finish this story. Thanks for reading.

[Ctopher]

For the final you need to get Ricky to ignore what his father said and get together with Eric.

[martinp13]

Teen angst stories are so painful, because you just want to whap them upside the head and say "Quit being so stupid. Get over it and move on!"

Nice job on this one.

[mlbjock]

Yea they definitely can be; the the stupid part comes str8 from hindsight.

This was another great chapter; your character development is really enthralling.

Originally Posted by martinp13

Teen angst stories are so painful, because you just want to whap them upside the head and say "Quit being so stupid. Get over it and move on!"

Nice job on this one.

[sexiscriptor]

goodness gracious, this is a damn fine story. I have to agree with other posters--the characterization alone is fantastic, nevermind the growth or storyline or anything else.... anyway, keep up the good work and take all the time you need, just don't forget about us! ;p
~palmer

[redroger11]

Damn, You are doing such a fine job. This is just excellent. Like Sexiscriptor said, take your time but don't forget us and please do..
Keep Writing.

redroger11

[tagsnola]

... makes me want to go off and cry my eyes out. Eric, big as he is has a really beautiful, compassionate soul. And the good sense to acknowledge to himself that he does not have all the answers. But he did have one VERY important answer for Marco, that no one has the right to hurt another person. I hope he manages to find his way back to Ricky without hurting Marco.

Funny that he can read Marco's thoughts but not Ricky's. But I guess if he could read Ricky, there would be no more story. I know this is going to be one of the classics of this group. It's off to a fantastic start.


I am looking forward to the next chapter.

- TagsNOLA

[ldaniel13]

Yeah, I will develop more about Ricky's 'silence' in further chapters. My current goal is to finish this story by the end of summer (otherwise I'm screwed for time), so all will be revealed soon.

[chocomus]

very good! you know how to make people want more.

For some reason i want to puncj Ricky's father in the nose. I wonder why Ricky doesn't want to expose his skin...

[dimarvalc]

Chocomus...

You wonder why Ricky doesn't want to expose his skin????

Are you mad??? That's what shocked me the most about this chapter. Here are 2 hints...

"I realized that I had been fiddling with the long sleeves of my shirt. I looked down to make sure that nothing was showing, pulling the sleeves over half of my hands but leaving enough of them exposed so that I could still write."

"If it gets too bad, you can finish what you tried this summer. If it gets too bad, you can end it. Eric and my dad would probably be relieved."

He must have a really big scar over his forearms... Well, that is what it appears to be. I might be mistaken.

I was in pain when I read that... Only the scenes with Marco at the end alleviated it a little...

And, yes... I would punch Ricky's dad too... He must have contributed a lot to what Ricky tried to do during the summer, and what ruined his vacation...

[Kymuscleboy]

This is really wonderful story telling. Your characters are great and so well developed. I just hope this can come to a happy resolution for Eric and Ricky while not destroying poor Marco. You really made his character so much more sympathetic with this chapter.

[Ender]

Interesting story... At first I had figured the story would focus on Eric's growing but that is obviously present just to create the current Eric character... The innocent, hypersensitive and confused kid Eric always was that finds himself as a major Alpha Male whether he wants to be or not...

Ricky concern about people seeing his uncovered forearms and his self-talk to me is rather clear... He was hurt by events near the end of his and Eric's last year of middle school. One was Eric's ambiguous reaction to learning that He (Ricky) has a crush on Eric. We don't know what the other one(s) was yet but there is a hint that it involves Marco in someway if I'm reading this right...

Marco in part 3: He seemed confused and was mumbling. “Ricky... oh, god what have I done. I’m a fucking monster. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I didn’t know how good...” ...snip... I will be his dog if he will let me, but if I see that Ricky, I will fucking kill him.

What ever happened at the end of the school with Marco and what Ricky perceived as Eric's rejection was to much for Ricky and he attempted suicide by cutting his wrists (the other opinion is for Ricky to have become a junkie but that seems unlikely) at some point over the summer... my guess is Rickys attempt was only days or hours before Eric talked to Ricky's father... Had Ricky's dad let Ricky and Eric talk then It is likely Ricky wouldn't be the basket case he is now...

Well that's how I think things stand in the story now... and what I believe to be the two main questions at this point... 1)What is the link between Ricky and Marco??? 2)When and how will Eric find out about Ricky's attempt to kill himself???

Ender

[Jack of Blades]

I have not posted anywhere, anywhen in the past on this board, though I've been one of the viewing public for a long time. I had to know.
Most of the stuff here is for the libido and nothing more. And, on the whole, that is what most people come here for. I know I do. Then, flickin through the stories I come upon this. It's a Part X of the "Somethingaruther" series, so I'll have to take some liberties when it comes to plot devices.

I start reading.

The plot devices, whilst never directly explained, are easily understandable. The dialogue of thoughts, trains of thought, conversations in the head play out exactly like they should.

The plot twists into the view of the world from a very different person.
Bingo! Another set of thoughts, another way of thinking about things. A character who is complex, yet easy to understand just from the ramblings of a school child.

The plot, though never getting too serious, deepens. I am now gripped, pleasure seeking forgotten.

This is a Story. It just so happens to have a HUGE guy in it.

Finally, the hanging conclusion leaves me desperate to turn the page, to read the next chapter.

Brilliant!

This comes fromm a man who possesses (in literary terms) two entire galaxies, a fantasy world, a modified medieval period and half a novel. So I know good writing when I see it. You should try getting into writing as a paying hobby. Keep the muscle growth stories, just expand into other genres. Go ahead. Try it! We might see your name on bookshelves in the future!

Yrs, Jack of Blades.

[ldaniel13]

Yeah, since I was in elementary school, I have often thought of writing a fantasy novel. The fantasy genre is something that I always return to regardless of how far I stray in other directions... I am envious of your progress.

Thank you for your confidence in my writing abilities. In my vision of an ideal world, people would get paid to do what they love, so here's hoping that my vision might someday match up with reality--not yet, but maybe someday. It is always good to know that a side of yourself that you may have neglected for a while, such as creative writing, doesn't completely wither when you take a break to pursue other facets of your life.

[Ender]

Everyone would have their basic needs looked after and would be free to pursue what ever was of interest to them... And if/when you displayed a talent for that pursuit you would be rewarded by being supported in attempting increasingly more costly projects... (I understand that is the economic model the Federation in Star Trek follows)

Ender

[nj.]

Originally Posted by martinp13

Teen angst stories are so painful, because you just want to whap them upside the head and say "Quit being so stupid. Get over it and move on!"

Nice job on this one.

Adults can be painfully childish, too. And then it's even worse, 'cos the issues are more complex.

---

Anyway, I greatly enjoyed reading all four chapters tonight, and I seriously hope you continue writing it without hurrying and worrying about time. Quality over quantity, and quality is certainly present in this story.

I really like how, despite all the thinking the character do, the eventual big steps are made because they just happened to roll into a situation. Very realistic

[philat99]

Looking forward to the mysterious hiding of the skin being revealed. I like the changing points of view. Keep up the great storyline.
Mike