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Old July 30th, 2009, 03:23 PM
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Dungeons, Dragons and Idiots 3

[COLOR=silver]Well, I said I was writing again. I'm sorry about the wait but now I'm back at it! I feel like my writing style has changed, particularly from the last part ( which can be found here ). I think it's a mix of a pause in writing, and maybe being a little more jaded. Also, after the poll I had a while ago, there is the new character! He'll be a semi-regular I think.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#c0c0c0]FINALLY, as a note to myself: it's TREBUCHET. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=#c0c0c0]Enjoy![/COLOR]

[COLOR=#c0c0c0]- Dem[/COLOR]


[COLOR=silver]Part 3[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Kieran, Paladin, level 3[/COLOR]
[COLOR=silver]Jude, Druid, level 3[/COLOR]
[COLOR=silver]Madeline, Mage, level 3[/COLOR]
[COLOR=silver]Henry, Priest, level 3[/COLOR]
[COLOR=silver]Damian, Barbarian, level 3[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Mad is wearing a purple jewel pendant which raises magic power, and she has two potions. And about 5 silver pieces? Hmmm. Something like that. There is also a letter addressed to Corey the Bard, in a strange language.[/COLOR]



[COLOR=silver]The next morning, Jude and Madeline woke first. The two young women sat watching the men sleep, sharing nothing more than a word. When the guys finally woke up, they wondered why they even slept at all. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I think it?s a force of habit. Because we don?t really need to...? Henry said into his book. ?The same goes for eating. You probably want food, but you aren?t hungry.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?To think I used to find you hot...? Jude shook her head as they kicked dirt over the ashes. ?This place has brought out your latent geek powers.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Damian walked at the back of the little group. Unlike the girls and Henry, he couldn?t conveniently put his weapon away. He found it less cumbersome to carry than he did the day before, he noticed, and his arms actually enjoyed exerting themselves. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Look, over there. Some buildings.? Kieran pointed to a small village. It stood alone on a broad hill, scattered with trees. It was quite scenic. ?I say we go and see who else is around.? The group picked up the pace, each keen to get there for their own reasons. As they paused beside the sign saying ?Welcome to Fir Tree Keep?, each felt strangely refreshed. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?It just feels safe here,? Jude said. ?Look, there?s NPC guards!? She motioned to the pairs of men walking around with large weapons at hand. Some were human, some were elves. One was a dwarf but they ignored him. When a pair of neutral looking people in the blue uniform strolled past, Jude waved an arm at them. They walked right on by.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Not real people.? Henry shrugged his shoulders. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Right, we should all go and do what we want then meet here again in a bit. Midday, I guess.? They all peered upwards at the sky. About an hour, they all thought, but that wasn?t their primary estimate. It was so easy to forget those models of time. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Henry went into the nearest place which looked like it contained religious people in swathing robes and such like. Madeline watched him go down the steps into the stone building with a small frown. She could go in there too, but she didn?t fancy that much. Jude was already sat by a tree with a group of others who looked like they were neglecting personal hygiene. The two brothers were in the Inn; Madeline saw Damian?s broad back slip through the door of the largest building in the small gathering. They were more interesting, so Madeline opted to follow them in. As she entered the Inn, she had the sudden thought to listen in on them in secret. The open staircase meant she could sit on the landing and listen uninterrupted as they sat at the bar. As she settled herself against the railing, the inner voyeur wondered what they would talk about. Who was prettier, her or Jude? Were her elf ears becoming?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]The two brothers sat a little apart, enough to signal that they were sat together but not necessarily together.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I bet the guy behind the bar can?t even hear us,? Kieran muttered to his brother. Damian shrugged his shoulders. ?Stupid NPCs...?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?It?s not like we?re even getting anything,? Damian told him.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Speak for yourself, little brother. I want some cider!?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I thought you noble blokes drank the finest wines?? With his dark hair longer than only yesterday, he had to look through his mane to give his brother a reproachful look. With his dark stubble as well, he looked almost uncouth. Kieran seemed to notice the contrast with his blond hair and smooth face, as he suddenly found the table very interesting. Damian made a guttural noise and folded his arms. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Madeline sighed from her seat. She didn?t even have time to get comfortable, and the conversation had already stagnated. Kieran always said he and his brother didn?t have much in common, though. She watched as they eventually got something to drink. She was just getting up to return downstairs when she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?You?re not the right class to be spying on others, Mage.? [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]-[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Damian was just considering getting himself a drink when he heard a familiar squeal. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Damiaaaaan!?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?That was Madeline,? Kieran said as he got to his feet. He finished his drink, ran a hand through his hair and picked up his sword. In this time Damian was already heading towards the stairs, after the source of the sound. What was she doing up there? When Kieran finally caught up, Damian was wondering which door to check. Madeline was making no noise that he could hear. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?You look down there,? Damian said. He went down the corridor to the right, opening the various doors. Empty. Empty. Two Warriors getting into some heavy petting on the bed. Damian closed that door quickly, though the pair of them seemed more than happy for him to stay.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?That gives cybersex a whole new meaning,? he muttered as he moved on. Fortunately the other rooms were free of such activities. Unfortunately it meant Madeline was not around either. Damian returned to the main landing at the same time as Kieran, who looked a little flushed. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?She?s not there?? Damian asked.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?No, I checked every room. Nobody knew who I was on about.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]It had never occurred to the Barbarian in training to ask the people he saw, but he doubted they would have known anything... ?It was definitely her? he mused as they went downstairs.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Yeah, she was calling your name remember?? [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?So?? Damian ignored his brother as they returned downstairs. ?Jealous much??[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?No. She was my friend, that?s all.? [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?You?re the one who let them follow me here. Not my problem if she calls my name...? Kieran grabbed onto Damian?s arm; the younger brother turned his head. ?Don?t do that.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]The expression on Kieran?s face was a mixture of envy and confusion. He hadn?t expected Damian to have biceps quite like what he had in his hand. His shirt was hardly conservative any more, but even so, the difference between looking and feeling was vast. ?What the hell?s happening to you?? he scowled, tugging his hand away. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Nothing to worry about. We have to find Madeline.? Damian nudged his head at the people sat downstairs at the tables. ?You ask them if someone came downstairs who looked like her. I?ll look outside.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]The search was frustrating and fruitless. When Henry and Jude returned, the brothers informed them of what happened. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?What can we do?? Kieran asked. He had to be worried, to show his doubt. Damian kept his arms folded, as if it would keep his own concerns locked tightly. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I know what to do!? Jude said, sounding as concerned as if nothing had happened at all. ?I?ll ask my friends.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?What?s that going to accomplish-? Henry began, but Jude rode over him with a loud two-fingered whistle.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Pigeons flew in from every direction. The three men stood back as Jude became a walking bird lady. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?People are staring...? said Kieran with a frown. Jude ignored him as she muttered at the various pigeons sat on her. They soon flew away, leaving her slightly ruffled but smiling proudly.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I think one pooed on me,? Henry sighed. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?They saw Madeline,? Jude said. ?She?s been Mage-napped by a big guy with a thing for elves.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Seriously, they told you that?? Kieran?s eyebrows were raised, but then he seemed to remember where he was. Being in another world where they all had an array of unusual powers made talking to pigeons seem a little less out of the ordinary.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?This way. They?ve got him followed but I don?t want anything to happen to Madeline, otherwise I?ll have to wear skimpier outfits to compensate.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Damian chose to ignore that. ?We can?t even buy horses, she has most of the money.? There was no use in wishful thinking, so the four of them set off at a brisk pace out the other side of Fir Tree Keep.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Fat lot of good they were? Jude said as they passed a pair of NPC guards. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?That means that whoever took Madeline is on our side. If they were a bad guy then the guards would have attacked him!? Henry theorised. He looked to Kieran for confirmation, but his friend shrugged. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?You?re looking at the wrong person, geek boy.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Damian walked a little in front of his fellow adventurers, holding his broadsword up in anticipation. He wasn?t in the mood for their idle chatter; he was on a mission. A quest, one might say. Henry reached this same conclusion, judging from the talk of bonus exp and maybe some sort of reward. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Maybe if someone else sent us after their captive. But not for one of our own party, I don?t think...? Kieran waved his shield around in his disinterested musing. Henry seemed quite put out at his friend?s lack of interest, and the rest of the journey was subdued. The day passed with little to report. Jude conferred with the birds late in the afternoon, and reported that the man had taken Madeline to Ogre Cave.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I wish I had a map,? Henry sighed.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?We aren?t far away, I can see the cliffs over the trees. The cave is just ahead, I?m sure of that.? Jude seemed confident in her abilities, and nobody had the heart, or the proof, to tell her otherwise. To their surprise and relief, they reached an obvious entrance just as the sun was setting behind them. The cave entrance was about 40ft up the side of the cliff, accessible by a winding route which left them open to attacks from above. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?A pretty good defensive place,? Kieran observed. ?Well lucky for me I have a shield so they can throw whatever they want at us!?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Maybe you should go first then and distract anyone who tries to attack?? Jude suggested sweetly. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?A noble Paladin always goes first!? Kieran said proudly. ?You three wait here, I?ll call you up when it?s safe.? With those final words, he hoisted his shield over his head and began the ascent. The armour didn?t seem to impose upon his speed at all, which impressed even Damian. He reached the top without any trouble at all. He turned and waved for the three at the bottom to follow him up. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?The place is too quiet. And kind of dark.? Jude frowned at the entrance as Henry and Damian peered closer than she. ?Madeline could make a light for us. Hey, Henry, why don?t you call down some holy light??[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I think that?s more suited to our esteemed Paladin,? Henry said politely. Kieran looked more than happy to oblige, though the way he waved his hands suggested he didn?t know how to do it. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Why don?t you just take a shit? After all, the sun shines out of your arse, we might strike lucky,? Damian smirked from where he leaned against the cave wall, his firm arms folded. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Very funny,? Kieran scowled. ?Hey Mother Nature, you should get some wood and make a torch.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Good idea. Damian, bring your big sword and we?ll hack some branches! No, Henry, you wait here.? Jude grabbed Damian?s hand and pulled him back down the winding ramps. Damian was sure that he could have stayed where he was stood if he had resisted just a little bit, but the prospect of doing exercise made him compliant. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]The pair of them found a tree with several low branches which would be good for torches. Damian hoisted Jude up into the tree so she could ?coax the spirit into sparing some branches?. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I?m sure nobody else does this,? Damian scowled from the tree trunk. He kicked at the tree.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Damian!? Jude snapped.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?What? It?s just a-? Damian?s feet were thrown out from under him by a whip-like set of roots. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?That?s what happens if you talk shit to a tree, Barbarian.? Jude returned to stroking the trunk and whispering. Damian sighed, getting to his hands and knees and crawling for his broadsword. He was just getting up when he heard a girly squeal. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Henry?? [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Damian! The boys!? Jude was pointing to the cave mouth. Damian looked up in time to see something large and ogre-like appear in the fading sunlight. Henry was nowhere to be seen, and Kieran looked remarkably outmatched despite his armour and sharp sword. He was also much closer to the edge of the path than Damian liked him to be.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Kieran! I?m coming!? [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Hey! Let me down first!? Jude cried, but Damian was already sprinting for the cave. He even left his sword by the tree in his haste. Kieran... don?t get yourself killed! He couldn?t see his brother or the ogre anymore, but he could hear scuffling and growling. Come on already! he berated himself as he felt his breathing getting heavier. Damian didn?t think he was that unfit but he couldn?t seem to get enough air. For a painful moment it was almost enough to stop him in his tracks. But then, a burst of energy from some untapped source surged through Damian?s tense body, spurring him onwards. The sight of the ogre up ahead pulled him even faster towards his brother. Kieran was swinging his sword at the ogre but it batted the weapon away as if it had hands wrapped in steel. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Kieran!? Damian shouted when he was close enough, ?get out of the way!? The Paladin saw his brother running right at him and dived to his right. Was he imagining things, or did his brother look bigger?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]It was not his imagination. As Damian tackled the ogre, the difference in their size was considerably less than it should have been. It was this growth which had given Damian the energy to reach the ogre ? it was the Barbarian?s Rage. Even then, his body was defying the half normal, half other-world clothes Damian hybridised himself with. The gloves and boots held just fine, stretching to accommodate their swelling master. However, the light blue shirt was having less luck. The chest was far too tight and stretching more by the second. The shoulders were rounded enough that the sleeves barely reached the top of his arms. Even then the sleeves had to contend with biceps which pulsed and throbbed ever bigger, threatening to tear the fabric apart. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]In a typically barbaric fashion, Damian?s top half seemed too large for the rest of him. However, there was nothing small about Damian?s lower half. His jeans were tight enough that, upon reaching the ogre, they had torn down the inside of the leg. Inches of vascular flesh could be seen in the gap in the denim which seemed to spread of its own accord. A similar tear sprang apart in the seams of his other leg as Damian steadied himself against the ogre, turning his broad shoulder and pushing with all his might.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]The ogre consisted mostly of a murky green overweight mess. However, this mess was considerably larger than Damian even after his growth, so their strength was about equal. As Kieran straightened up from where he had thrown himself, he could see that neither beast nor brother was gaining any ground. With both fighters against the edge of the cliff, it could go either way.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Henry finally pulled himself up from the ground. He had been too close to the ogre when it appeared, and it had swat him away with no effort. The side of his head was a bloody mess; Kieran winced when he saw it.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I?m alright,? the Priest said a bit thickly. ?I know how we can help Damian...? he quickly related his plan to his friend, who picked up his shield. ?Ready??[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Let?s try it,? Kieran said grimly as he approached the back of the ogre. As he got closer, he became even more aware of the size difference between his brother and himself. Not just that, though. Damian had an intense glare which pinned Kieran to the spot despite being directed at the ogre.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Kieran!? Henry hissed from nearer to Damian?s back. Trust him to get behind Damian, Kieran thought with some exasperation. He shook his head and, when given the cue, threw himself at the side of the Ogre?s feet.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Damian!? Henry shouted as he waved his hands, ?push him now!? A blue light shone around the Barbarian, who felt a renewed strength fill him as if he had just woken from a deep sleep. With a part growl, part shout, Damian thrust the ogre to the side. The ogre tripped over Kieran and toppled backwards down the side of the cliff.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#c0c0c0][/COLOR]
[COLOR=silver]?Wow, it worked.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Don?t sound too surprised about it Kieran!? Henry sighed. He helped Kieran up, and the pair of them looked over at Damian. ?Are you ok??[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Er... yeah. I think so.? Damian put a big hand to his head, his bass voice tinged with weariness.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I think I should delve you anyway. You know, just to make sure.? Henry stepped forward with his hands outstretched at what just so happened to be Damian?s crotch height. Damian growled, and the Priest dithered where he stood. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Hang on, I think he?s getting smaller again.? Kieran tried not to sound too relieved, but the look Henry gave him suggested he hadn?t tried hard enough.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?He?ll be worn out. Luckily I think he only has a couple of scratches.? Henry reached forward to grab Damian as he stumbled back to his original size. His shirt was overstretched and his jeans were ripped considerably, but he seemed otherwise unharmed. From the way he blinked and yawned, though, he was about to fall asleep. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I thought people didn?t sleep here?? asked Kieran, but Henry just shrugged and helped Damian to the floor to get comfortable. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]An irritated voice called from the bottom of the cliff. ?Excuse me! How am I supposed to get past a great big ogre that you didn?t even kill??[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]The Paladin and Priest looked over the edge of the cliff down at Jude, who was stood next to the limp ogre blocking the path up. She was wielding Damian?s big sword and a bemused expression.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?You took your time,? Kieran called. ?Wait, isn?t it dead??[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?It?s just knocked out,? Jude replied. ?I can finish it off, though I can?t actually use this sword. I could end up stabbing myself instead.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?You?re a Druid, get an elephant to sit on it or something,? Kieran suggested. Feeling the heat of her scowl even from so much further up, he finally relented and did the noble thing. When he plunged his sword into the ogre?s thick neck, the party felt the thrill of another level up. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?I bet that ogre gave loads of exp,? Henry mused as Jude and Kieran returned with Damian?s sword and backpack. Despite the ogre, Jude had managed to grab half a dozen branches which would function quite well as torches. Kieran pocketed the money the ogre had mysteriously left when it died. "Hey, I miraculously Healed as well. I like levelling up."[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?We can?t stay here too long, we don?t know what we?re going to find in the cave. We could lose Mad in there if we dawdle.? Jude handed the two men a pair of the sticks. ?Don?t break them. Now let?s get Damian up.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]This proved to be easier than they expected. Some prodding with the sticks and Damian was awake, grumbling and rubbing his head.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#c0c0c0][/COLOR]
[COLOR=silver]?I was asleep,? he said reproachfully.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?We have to find Madeline. Come on, we need you to look after us!? Jude said peremptorily.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?No we don?t, I?m a Paladin? Kieran pointed out. ?You can use me as well.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Yeah yeah, of course,? Jude said a tad distractedly. Kieran observed that she was trying to peek beneath the folds of Damian?s tattered clothes. ?Hey Damian, maybe you should put on the rest of your outfit??[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Damian got to his feet, shaking his head. He didn?t appear to have grown when he levelled up, much to his chagrin. ?Not yet,? he replied stubbornly. ?Let?s just go into this damn cave...?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Fine. Flame on!? Jude held out her hand, and four of the sticks became bright torches. ?What?s so funny?? she demanded as she passed one to Damian.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Nothing.? Henry hoisted his own torch, then looked to Damian beseechingly. ?Uhh, you should go first. Unless we come across any undead ogres.?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Good idea.? Damian took his sword in his left hand and his torch in his right, looking to his three companions before leading the way.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]-[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Madeline was in a bag for a very long time. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]She had been so sure that Damian would have heard her when she shouted. But the man who had kidnapped her must have been quick to escape. Any attempts to talk to the man ended in the bag being shaken about wildly, and trying to set the bag on fire didn?t work. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?Mage-proof.? Madeline repeated the word to herself, the only other one she had heard from the big man who had kidnapped her. She hadn?t got a very good look at him, but when she was finally tossed out of the bag she thought she would much prefer to go back in until further notice.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]She was in a dark wooden room, with no windows. It felt damp, clammy and smelt slightly of soil. There was a bed, two chairs and a desk. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]The room was occupied by several people. On the bed sat a overweight man with glasses and armour which was painted over his body. A Warrior. A slim woman occupied one of the two chairs, wearing dark robes much like Henry?s. She had to be a Priest. There was also another Warrior, though she had to be about half of Madeline?s height... and she wasn?t tall. He had to be a gnome, and his armour was the same silver as the fat man?s.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]Then, of course, there was her kidnapper. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]This man was clearly the leader. He was as big as the door, with heavy metal armour and a pair of thick fur gloves which were as big as her head ? Madeline knew this from personal experience as he threw her in the bag. He had the beginnings of a promising beard, but the top of his head was bald. It seemed to suit him, though. Madeline shuffled away from him, feeling a little safer as she moved closer to the Priest. Despite his armour, he had to be a Barbarian... she could just tell these things. It probably came with being hyper intelligent.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?There, that wasn?t so hard was it?? the man asked the group with a sneer. ?I got us a Mage.? [/COLOR]

[COLOR=silver]?An Elf as well,? the large Warrior added with a snort of laughter. ?The Power Levelling begins!? [/COLOR]
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Old August 2nd, 2009, 02:42 PM
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Very inventive. Really great narrative. Keep up the good work.
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Old August 2nd, 2009, 04:22 PM
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Jaypat will become famous soon enough
I'm having a good time.
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Old August 3rd, 2009, 01:25 PM
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Both clever and superb, once more ! I always read your prose with such pleasure !
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Old August 4th, 2009, 01:50 AM
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"Stupid NPC's"

... If I had a nickel every time I heard that .

Good story, BTW! Very good writing!
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Old August 4th, 2009, 08:27 AM
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Wahaha, good thing kidnapping other players just to power-level doesn't happen in real MMOs. XD

Keep up the story! I'm itching to see what happens next.
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Old August 11th, 2009, 06:40 PM
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bump !

Just to let you know some of us would like the story to go on !
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Old August 12th, 2009, 05:52 AM
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Thanks for the replies! I'm glad people are enjoying it.

Elro: Part 4 is 80% done.
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