Attention Writers

[arpeejay]

Today's vocabulary lesson:

The following words sound similar but they do NOT have the same meaning..

Taunt / taut

Satiated / striated

Defiantly / definitely

I could go on, of course, but you get the idea. Please look them up!

xoxo

Richard

[buckley_heath]

Can we please add to that list:
Their / There
Your / You're
It's / Its
To / Too
Here / Hear
Weighed / Weighted
Less / Fewer
Allot / A lot

[Beasts!]

Great story RPJ... err storey. I mean sortie... now you've got me all confused!

[wolfotehmoon]

Quick Tip: Find beta readers. You don't need an editor with an English Masters and a Pulitzer Prize, just an extra set of eyes who can catch things you've missed.

[AKA]

A rule of thumb I use to help me remember "it's" vs. "its": "It's" is ALWAYS "it is" and never possessive, i.e. "It's okay to look at its face."

If that still seems confusing, because we use 's to denote possessive on proper names like Steve's cock or Peter's butt, "its" is used the same as "his" or "hers" (which are never "hi's" or "her's"). Larry's dick, his ass, her pussy, its name.

A sticky one I struggle with is whether or not to add an extra s after an apostrophe on words or names already ending in s, for example: I use Pages on a Mac to compose, and I am often dumbfounded by Pages's spellchecking algorithm.

"Pageses?"

The rule of thumb is, "if it sounds weird when you say it aloud, then don't use it." So in that case, saying "Pages's spellchecking" sounds weird to me, so I'd write it "Pages' spellchecking." It gets dicey, and if you want to it's never wrong to include the extra s, but it can make one trip over a sentence, for goodness's sake!

[anpuZA]

Originally Posted by AKA

A rule of thumb I use to help me remember "it's" vs. "its": "It's" is ALWAYS "it is" and never possessive, i.e. "It's okay to look at its face."

If that still seems confusing, because we use 's to denote possessive on proper names like Steve's cock or Peter's butt, "its" is used the same as "his" or "hers" (which are never "hi's" or "her's"). Larry's dick, his ass, her pussy, its name.

A sticky one I struggle with is whether or not to add an extra s after an apostrophe on words or names already ending in s, for example: I use Pages on a Mac to compose, and I am often dumbfounded by Pages's spellchecking algorithm.

"Pageses?"

The rule of thumb is, "if it sounds weird when you say it aloud, then don't use it." So in that case, saying "Pages's spellchecking" sounds weird to me, so I'd write it "Pages' spellchecking." It gets dicey, and if you want to it's never wrong to include the extra s, but it can make one trip over a sentence, for goodness's sake!

I know, I know. My English 1st Language grammar slowly started degrading as the brandy shots in my drinks started upgrading in size and consitency*.

Thank's's for the refresher though. It really helps'.'s

Oh my god could this be a dislexic smiley?

):



*Oh fuck... well I try.

[kettlecharlie]

In the UK, we have a very good explanatory book
Eats, Shoots and Leaves
by Lynne Truss
If you can get it in the US, do.
It is a marvellous help for punctuation
with many many hilarious examples
to which I could add my own odd example-- seen on a vegetable stall in Scotland, a notice which read Brussel's sprouts!

[R Chris Cooper]

A few that I can think of are

sit/ set
than/ then
suit/ suite
yea/yeah
site/ sight

It drives me crazy when someone writes "I set on the bed with him." OR "I sat the book on the table." (Both wrong!)
OR "His body was more muscular then mine!"

[GlitzPianoman]

Not to mention the notorious "woman/women". It's funny how people don't confuse "man" and "men", but add a "wo" on the beginning, and it throws them for a loop. It's exactly the same principle. "Woman" is singular, "Women" is plural.

[Kurisu]

waist/waste (common in muscle stories because of waist size)
effect/affect

[swatkins]

And for God's sake people it's prostate not prostrate. I know some people feel like worshiping it but that's just going to far.

[omelissokomos]

Lose/loose has been going around for quite some time now.

Also, I see "definately" used for "definitely" a lot more often than "defiantly", which a spellchecker will ignore.

[Otaru_grower]

swatkins, you just made me double over laughing. Thank you all.

[nvb2]

Might as well...

site/sight
wonder/wander, wondering/wandering

[Steven]

You no, what I likes is when a storey make me come in my pants!
It does y?all two, huh?!
Hell, I probably gone bee tote?n and ass beating four saying dat shit!!!

[kettlecharlie]

and I have seen pantz
both as what is worn and what you do after a passionate session

[mlbjock]

Hahaha! That's just funny.

Of course I rolled my eyes when I saw this thread, then went back and we re-reading my last post. Wow was that embarrassing.

Originally Posted by Steven

You no, what I likes is when a storey make me come in my pants!
It does y’all two, huh?!
Hell, I probably gone bee tote’n and ass beating four saying dat shit!!!

[ForgeAus]

I have a quick rule of thumb for affect vs effect...
use the letters of RAVEN, which stands for -
Remember Affect Verb Effect Noun...

The only problem is it's not true in all cases...

ie. An object can be affected (as a verb) meaning changed, or effected (as a verb) meaning put into use... only if your lucky does the same action mean the same thing but not for the same reason...

Also a Special Effect ... can be considered as a thing so it's a noun, but it's not a Special Affect...

[Reeza]

your vs. you're

as in, "only if you're lucky . . ."

[tommy dreamer]

This story's giving me a boner.

[Neekko]

Amen! Misuse of words often drive me away from reading the rest of the story.

[RPM]

Originally Posted by tommy dreamer

This story's giving me a boner.

I think you mean a bonner

[GlitzPianoman]

Or maybe Bono. Who doesn't love savin' tha starvin' children?

[rverne8]

Here's a whole page of homonyms-
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/english/homonyms/
ya know
like
ad/add
allowed/aloud
ant/aunt
ate/eight
ball/bawl
band/banned
bear/bare
be/bee
billed/build

Wonder if there's such a thing as heteronyms.
Then, there's commonly misused words-I really identify with these-
http://www.sourceaid.com/reference/p...used-words.pdf
common examples are
affect, effect, and effect
affect - to influence
effect - (noun) result or outcome
effect - (verb) to cause to happen, bring about, or produce results


Google books is great!
The right word!: how to say what you really mean
By Jan Venolia

http://books.google.com/books?id=E8u...0words&f=false


more misused children here-different grouping*-goes deeper into the misuse part
http://web.mit.edu/jrickert/www/writedoc.html
examples are SMALL IN SIZE, RECTANGULAR IN SHAPE, GREEN IN COLOR -
redundant in repetition.

This little book has a good entry on 'alleged'
Words you thought you knew: 1001 commonly misused and misunderstood words ...
By Jenna Glatzer
http://books.google.com/books?id=PQx...page&q&f=false

[Jack of Blades]

Alleged is in fact, in truth A Ledged, or to be upon or hanging from a ledge or small promontory. Its misuse coming from court cases of the 17th Century where the person who was the accused was placed on a high chair set into the wall, instead of the later dock. Therefore they were upon the ledge and therefore claimed to be guilty.

And remember people! SPEECH RULES AS FOLLOWS:
1. Place speech marks at the beginning and end of someone speaking. Thoughts are usually best left outside of speech marks, but they can be put in if you are worried people won't understand the principle of thought.

2. If you are putting someone's reply to the first speech, no matter how much out of speech marks text there has been, there must ALWAYS be a new paragraph for the next speaker. This signifies the change of speaker. If it's the same person speaking, it does NOT need to be in a new paragraph.

3. Though it is childish to take it as far as "And he said this and he said that" it is always best to describe who is speaking every now and then, even if it's just, for example:

"That's true." Jack shrugged.

This then reminds people who's who in a conversation, and prevents confusion.

4. Punctuation. It goes INSIDE the speech, and the rules apply to the following text regardless of the speech marks. If there is a full stop in the speech marks, capitalise. If a comma, do not. And always make sure there is some form of punctuation, as commas and full stops signify pauses in the flow of writing, or speech. So if speech is stopped, there MUST be punctuation to indicate this.

Finally, one does not have to use inverted commas (" ") to signify speech. Some writers prefer to use those as quotation or signifyer marks, and instead use apostrophes as speech marks. Eg:

'Hey, this thing says "Please be upstanding for the Queen"! Do you think they mean Derek? He's a bit of a "queen"!'

Thank you, and I'm glad I'm not the only one this obsessive about proper use of language.

EDIT: Beware, the explanation of the word alleged is utter bollocks. I have a habit of inventing utterly fictitious meanings for words that sound, though obscure and improbable, kind of true. Just don't believe me.

[CelticMuscle]

Should I bring up not only their / there and they're but also the eternal pants / briefs / trousers debate?

[arpeejay]

Unless I'm mistaken, pants, briefs, and trousers are examples of words that have different meanings in different regions of the world. "Please feel free to pet my puss" and "I'm stuffed" have very different connotations depending on whether they're uttered in the US or the UK.

THOSE clunkers I can deal with, as opposed to "he sited Shakespeare in his addrees to his classmates" or "James cited the Sherman tank as it rolled into the neighborhood..."

xoxo

Richard

[iluvbigmen]

Penguins go beep beep!

[Ogun]

Originally Posted by iluvbigmen

Penguins go beep beep!

Have you been talking to William?

[Mass Driver]

I don't know if this is gonna get me in trouble with Gallagher, but he is the guy that put these confusing english spelling pronunciations together. I hope he wanted to help people. It still puts a smile on my face. And that is often one of the best ways to help.

Gallagher's English Language Fault Finder

"B-O-M-B... bom; T-O-M-B... tom? No: T-O-M-B... toom.
T-O-M-B, toom; C-O-M-B... coom? No: C-O-M-B... cohm.
C-O-M-B, cohm; P-O-M-B... pohm? No: P-O-E-M... pohm.
P-O-E-M, pohm; H-O-E-M... hohm? No: H-O-M-E... hohm.
H-O-M-E, hohm; S-O-M-E... sohm? No: S-O-M-E... sum.
S-O-M-E, sum; N-O-M-E... num? No: N-U-M-B!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~

And after that I'm a little numb.
Just make sure that through all this grammar grind, we don't lose track of the big one. That the idea of the story comes across and we want to read the next chapter, and the next chapter, and.....
And I gotta admit that this forum has a lot of very fine authors, even if the words get messed up once in a while.
So follow your passion for your stories and your imagination.
And please...
Keep Writing.

MD

[iluvbigmen]

Lemurs go vroom vroom

[kettlecharlie]

Same words having different meanings in different parts of the world--
example
I was brought up in a coal-mining area of the UK
On my first visit to Toronto a female friend and I were going on a bus tour to Owen Sound. The bus left very early
so I asked her if she would like to be knocked up
And wondered why she cancelled the whole thing
Coal miners would have one person who went around the whole area knocking up miners who were on early shift !

[CelticMuscle]

Originally Posted by kettlecharlie

Same words having different meanings in different parts of the world--
example
I was brought up in a coal-mining area of the UK
On my first visit to Toronto a female friend and I were going on a bus tour to Owen Sound. The bus left very early
so I asked her if she would like to be knocked up
And wondered why she cancelled the whole thing
Coal miners would have one person who went around the whole area knocking up miners who were on early shift !

"Knocking up" is also a term I have used for my election stints as well and when I suggested to an American Democrat that they employ it for the Mid Terms he replied "Oh, you mean post polling canvassing!" which makes me think that we Brits shrink words whilst the Americans use the most words possible in a sentence.

[Freaker!!]

There, Their, They're
Knot, not
No, non.
Twice, two times.
Instant, Ultimo - this is a tricky one. Search Wiki. Ultimo & Sydney.

And how could we forget..
Who's on first,
What's on second, and
I don't know's on third.

But why don't Americans call a period of 2 weeks, a fortnight, which it is?

Hence Wiki says:

The fortnight is a unit of time equivalent to fourteen days. The word derives from the Old English feorwertyne niht, meaning "fourteen nights".[1][2]

Fortnight is a commonly used word in Britain and many Commonwealth countries such as Pakistan, India, New Zealand and Australia (where many wages, salaries and most social security benefits are paid on a fortnightly basis.[3]) The word is rarely used in the United States, but is used regionally in Canada. Payroll systems may use the term biweekly in reference to pay periods every two weeks. The terms fortnightly and biweekly are often mistakenly conflated with semimonthly.

The above is esoteric.

[tommy dreamer]

Originally Posted by Freaker!!

There, Their, They're
Knot, not
No, non.
Twice, two times.
Instant, Ultimo - this is a tricky one. Search Wiki. Ultimo & Sydney.

And how could we forget..
Who's on first,
What's on second, and
I don't know's on third.

But why don't Americans call a period of 2 weeks, a fortnight, which it is?

Hence Wiki says:

The fortnight is a unit of time equivalent to fourteen days. The word derives from the Old English feorwertyne niht, meaning "fourteen nights".[1][2]

Fortnight is a commonly used word in Britain and many Commonwealth countries such as Pakistan, India, New Zealand and Australia (where many wages, salaries and most social security benefits are paid on a fortnightly basis.[3]) The word is rarely used in the United States, but is used regionally in Canada. Payroll systems may use the term biweekly in reference to pay periods every two weeks. The terms fortnightly and biweekly are often mistakenly conflated with semimonthly.

The above is esoteric.

I just spooged.

[myoder]

Remember that English is not everyone's first language. Writing in English isn't always straightforward. When does one use a comma or a semicolon - or a colon... And humour is spelled with a "U" until you spell it in Amurhikan, huh?...

[Freaker!!]

An American girl had a Aussie rugby player boy friend. The worst most shocking thing she could call out from the grandstand to him as the team entered the field was "I'LL ROOT FOR YOU". Luckily she was the sort of girl who was as amused as the croud was surprised when she was told she had just said "I'll have intercourse with you". It derives from the anatomical term the Root of the penis. Men often say "I'm rooted" to mean well and truly exhausted. For emphasis, "He was well and truly rooted". I believe they never got married.

[Kurisu]

Just saw strait/straight.
Also, this is entertaining and informative: http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/

[nypup2train]

Coincidentally, one of my Facebook contacts recently shared a link to the following list, which is far more comprehensive than what we've compiled so far. In fact, it's perhaps a bit TOO comprehensive (to the point of undermining its usefulness/authority). But nobody could claim it don't try real hard!

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/ - Common Errors in English Usage

(That's the introduction, you have to click through to the actual list. Try to ignore the awful site design. I can't, personally, but I'm hypersensitive to that sort of thing.)