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  #1   Add to chimera0010's Reputation   Report Post  
Old September 28th, 2010, 06:52 PM
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Grimm Tales: red riding hood

Some muscle growth, but I assure you it will be progressing some where interesting once you understand the collective cast of characters.

Case 1: Red Riding Hood
A young man sits at his desk in a class room, reading from a thick leather bound book. Students pass by him one by one, seeing him look so odd in a typical high school. He has short dark hair, dressed all in black like some catholic school teacher without his white collar peice. He slides off his reading glasses and smiles. His pale skin alsoo accentuates his blue-green eyes. The students look like teenagers ages 16-18 while he looks no older than 26. His name, Alexander von Grimm. English and Occult Studies teacher for Celest High in Salem.

The students admired and feared him. He was so deep in his lectures that it seems he has been alive for centuries. But he always has his book with him. Every week he comes up with a new story from it, and spends all week discussing the moral lessons and how they impact actual life. However, his book shave a darkerside to them. They dont end the same way disney wrote them, or for that matter, they are so dark they scare people. But at the same time, people are thankful for his stories, they help see themselves.

He sees a young girl enter the class room. Typical lithe girl, blonde, fair skinned, full of life. What made this girl interesting is the fact for the past scemester she always wore a red hoodie. ON top of that she had a jock for a boyfriend whom always hung around her n trying to preassure her into making out n giving up the goods. It was sad yet also funny for Alexander, Highschool dramas always made him laugh. He knew which story to go to this time. He stands up, and the bell rings. They all sit down and wait for his latest story.

"Today class....we will discuss little red riding hood." Alexander walks around the class, recanting the age old fable of red, the wolf, granny, and the woodcutter. They giggle and sneer at him, then also point and snicker at the girl in the red hoodie. Alexander stops by her and smiles.

"Ann....can you tell me the moral of this story?" Ann blushes and slumps in her chair, not knowing how to answer that.

"No?...." he closes the book and smiles. "What people dont know is the truth about this fable. You see....it started the same way and ended almost the same way. But they didnt know that the wolf was a werewolf and he knew red. She did kill the woodcutter of course. But in the end it states this...trust no one and stand up for yourself...."

The hour dragged on, the students taking notes. They leave and Alexander follows Ann and her boyfriend. As usual, he sees them making out in the commons area and later down the hall. The jock was a lead on the team, not very bright eigther all balls and no brains. The principal has preassured Alex to give the boy an easy grade so he can keep on the team, but the teacher would not give him any such privilage.

The jock reaches up her pant leg, trying to rub her crotch. She bats his hand away, pushing his face from her neck. "Charles please stop...." he tries to keep going only to be pushed off the bench , "I said STOP!" He gets up, angry as usual for being brushed off and left with blue balls.

"WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?!" He yells at her, looking down on her.

"I just dont want you move fast. We've only dated six months and you keep preassuring me into giving you sex. Its just not right to do that outside of wedlock..."Ann looks away all shy.

Charlies scoffs at her and beats his chest, "Hey I got needs to ya know!" Then points at the cheer leaders, "Amy gave it up to her boyfriend plenty of times and she has no problems at all!"

She jerks her eyes at him, "Good! thats her not me!"

Charlies walks off waving his hand, "What ever...call me when you decide to not be the last virgin in the graduating class..."

Alexander shakes his head, seeing Ann sob by herself in the commons area while other girls laugh at her. He whips open his book and decides that things need to change, and what better way then to have Ann relive the very story she just heard. He first follows Charles, not a hard problem since he gos to the gym showers before and after practice. What a specimen by all accounts. Rippling muscle,s a hard six pack stomach, nicely defined legs and biceps for running and tackling. Even endowed enough for most women. Such a shame thats all gonna get changed for something else.

Alexander flips to the page where the nobleman turns into the werewolf in the night to chase after red in the forest. He whispers the words, pointing at Charles while the young man was taking a shower. "Dumme Jugend, im m??igen Gedanken, ertr?gt diesen Fluch, dass Sie baught haben. Mann bei Tage und Biest bei Nacht, Tierleidenschaften ergreifen jetzt die Flucht. Ein Biest Sie handeln, um Thy-Lust, jetzt ein Biest zu ?bers?ttigen, das Sie bis zu Ihren Toten und Staub sein sollen!"(1)

He closes the book and takes cover in the lockers, watching the transformation. Charels gasps for air, huffing and hunched over in pain. His muscles bulge and expand. He grows a tail from his ass, his feet reshaping into wolf paws his hands become larger and ending in sharp claws. His body soon covered in fur as his face reshapes in a muzzle and ending as a wolf head. He huffs some more, his barrel chest expanding and contracting with each breath, his amber eyes filled with hunger and a wild rage. Standing now at 7ft tall and 400lbs of raw animal muscle, hes ready to kill.

Charels races out of the bathroom, not even catching the scent of Alexander who was hiding behind the shower door. The teacher slips out, and sneaks off quickly to set the mood for Ann. He is glad its in the fall season, the sun setting fast means darkness comes soon, "Well this is turning out better then I had hoped...".

Already school is out and the sun is gone. Ann walks along the parkway to her house, only to find things have changed a little. She gets worried, seein glots of trees and fog everywhere. She gets so scared she begins ot run blindly, not recognizing anything. Then she runs smack into someone and falls over. "Oh its you professor Alexander..."

Alexander helps her up and smiles. "Little girls shouldn't be wondering the woods alone. You took a wrong turn and seemed to be in the wrong place...." he pulls out a silver knife and hands it to her. "Take this, and hurry home. Never know who you will run into since there is no street lamps to light the way." She takes it hesitently and runs off, hurrying home down the path Alexander told her to take. She hears heavy breathing, and stops.

She looks around and sees nothing. She keeps her knife handy, waiting patiently for what ever is coming for her. She continues to run, making her way to her house. As many knew, she lived with her grandma, only reason is because she moved to America from France and the only one here for her was her Grandma. The house door was wide open, not a good sign. She feels around, just realising she lost her cell phone some where. She can smell death, and whats worse, it didnt look like a forced entry.

She draws her knife, and looks around. Claw marks, blood, and yet no body....still not a good sign. She creeps upstairs, following the blood trail into her grandmother's room. The bed is soaked, and there is lumps under the sheets. Pulling them back, Ann sees the mutilated body parts of her grandmother, half a torso and a head is all that remains of her. She wants to scream, but the sound escapes her need. She hears the closet door creak and slowly turns around. In a shock she sees a pair of yellow eyes in the darkness and makes a run for it.

She does not need to turn around, she can hear the boundings and heavy breathing of a large beast behind her. She turns the corner of the hallway, only to be pinned to the wall by the beast. He turns her around, ripping her shirt and sniffing her as he licks his glistening teeth. She seems like a child compared to this monster and his rippling fur covered muscles. Everything stops in an instant and she finally takes action. With that the beast twitches in pain, the silver knife ran into his chest.

They both go rolling down the stairs and landing in a heavy heap on the floor. Moments go by and not one of the moves, and slowly the beast is rolled over as Ann climbs free. Moments go by watching from her own eyes as the werewolf turns back into Charles. Coincadently he was wareing ripped jean shorts. The muscles shrank, and the animal features reverted back into that of a human, the confusion was there soon replaced by an all to clear fear of what she had done. She screams, not knowing what to do, not even taking note that her arm was clawed by the beast. She simply stands up and calls the cops.

Monday rolls around again. The news is that Charles got hyped up on sterioids, broke into Ann's house and kille her mother and tried to rape her in the process. No charges where filed since it was written down from self defence. However, as Alexander had hoped, she changed. She was more confident, less shy and timid. She looked athletic, and very beautiful. What people didnt know is that she was marked by a werewolf...well no one but Alexander. He reviewd little red riding hood, and went on to talking about morals and how people are often blessed....or cursed with great power.

She walks to her seat and overhears a group of girls whispering behind her back. She stops and looks over her shoulder. With a slight grin she kicks the chair leg with her heel, causing the chair to collapse and the girl to land on her ass. Ann giggles and walks to her chair. Alexander watches with some approval, it seems he can focus on other students...however.

--that night--

Ann walks alone at night as usual, seeing the full moon. She feels the change, her muscles gaining definition and size, her feet bursting from her shoes and becoming like that of a wolf. He hands becoming large and ending in claws, her face becoming like that of a wolf with long blonde hair. Her skin covered in gold fur as her body is covered in the tattered remains of her red t-shirt and her shredded blue jeans. Alexander watches from the distance, Little red riding hood is now the big bad wolf....how poetic. Beauty by day, beast by night least now she wont be timid. Makes one wonder...who now is the real beast.

He walks out from behind the trees and confronts her, holding his hand up. "Jagdhund der H?lle, h?ren Sie meinen Befehl. Obwohl Biest sein aber Meinung des Mannes haben kann! Nach alten Gesetzen von Solomon Kain, und Dem Hellseher befehle ich thee zu tun, wie ich sage!"(2) His hand glows but Ann continues to walk towards him. "Oh thats right she is french and does not understand german....

He takes a step back, his hand glowing red this time as he recites the command again in french. "Le chien de meute d'Enfer, entendez mon ordre. Bien que puissent ?tre la b?te, mais avoir l'esprit d'homme! Selon les lois anciennes de Solomon, Ca?n et le Proph?te je commande vous pour faire comme je dis!"(3) Ann stops in her tracks, and watches him with red eyes. He smiles and lowers his hand, feeling her mind shift even though her body is still that of a werewolf.

"I have work for you my dear, and I won't have you tromping around and causing unwanted bloodshed. Now....go back home and cotinue as if this curse never happened...." The werewolf runs off with a howl. "And Ann dear...do try to control your animal tendencies...."

Ann or the wolf that now dwells within her?

(1)Foolish youth, in idle thought, suffer this curse that you have baught. Man by day and Beast by night, animal passions now take flight. A beast you act to sate thy lust, now a beast you shall be till your dead and dust!
(2)(3)Hound of Hell, hear my command. Though may be beast but have mind of man! By ancient laws of Solomon, Cain, and The Prophet I command thee to do as I say!
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Old September 28th, 2010, 08:00 PM
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Very nice. An even darker twist on Grimm's fairy tales deserves to be continued.
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Old September 29th, 2010, 02:59 AM
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A great start. Intriguing and well-paced, hinting at much more to come. I'll be reading on!
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Old September 29th, 2010, 09:14 AM
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An interesting twist with its modernization. Good pacing and development.
I hope you continue and would like to see what you can do with some of the lesser known tales.
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Old October 4th, 2010, 10:30 PM
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Hmm

Great story, but maybe I would suggest writing in first person or shift your views from omniscient to first person and back and forth. Great start and I like the idea of Grimm tales. Also maybe dont use they so often. Use both of them decided or something else... Or She drew her knife
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Old November 12th, 2010, 05:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chimera0010 View Post
"Dumme Jugend, im m??igen Gedanken, ertr?gt diesen Fluch, dass Sie baught haben. Mann bei Tage und Biest bei Nacht, Tierleidenschaften ergreifen jetzt die Flucht. Ein Biest Sie handeln, um Thy-Lust, jetzt ein Biest zu ?bers?ttigen, das Sie bis zu Ihren Toten und Staub sein sollen!"(1)

"Jagdhund der H?lle, h?ren Sie meinen Befehl. Obwohl Biest sein aber Meinung des Mannes haben kann! Nach alten Gesetzen von Solomon Kain, und Dem Hellseher befehle ich thee zu tun, wie ich sage!"(2)

"Le chien de meute d'Enfer, entendez mon ordre. Bien que puissent ?tre la b?te, mais avoir l'esprit d'homme! Selon les lois anciennes de Solomon, Ca?n et le Proph?te je commande vous pour faire comme je dis!"(3)


(1)Foolish youth, in idle thought, suffer this curse that you have baught. Man by day and Beast by night, animal passions now take flight. A beast you act to sate thy lust, now a beast you shall be till your dead and dust!

(2)(3)Hound of Hell, hear my command. Though may be beast but have mind of man! By ancient laws of Solomon, Cain, and The Prophet I command thee to do as I say!
I'm curious as to where you got the sources for the curses. Care to enlighten us?
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Old November 12th, 2010, 09:55 AM
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Your imagination and story construction are great but your spelling and grammar are not so great. I offer to act as editor before you post.
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Old November 15th, 2010, 03:18 PM
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well the rhyming i did myself for the curses. as far as the story its hard to work on my next one since i am still brain storming hansel n gretel.
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Old November 19th, 2010, 03:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chimera0010 View Post
well the rhyming i did myself for the curses.
AMAZING! You came up with that on your own? Damn wish i could rhyme like that. Funny thing is that The german one might be feasable as an actual curse provided the right matrix could be formed to house it. Got any others that good?
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Old November 19th, 2010, 02:09 PM
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Interesting start...

It's surprising how few people realize just how macabre, gruesome, sick and twisted the original, unsensitized (i.e. Non-Disney) versions of most fairy tales are.

A couple of movies I recommend, with the note, "The Real Story"...
"Company of Wolves" and "Snow White: A Tale of Terror"
And with the note, "A different look at Neverland" or "Not Mary Martin's Neverland"
"Neverland"

Last edited by Ender; November 19th, 2010 at 02:20 PM.
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Old November 20th, 2010, 05:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ender View Post
Interesting start...

It's surprising how few people realize just how macabre, gruesome, sick and twisted the original, unsensitized (i.e. Non-Disney) versions of most fairy tales are.

A couple of movies I recommend, with the note, "The Real Story"...
"Company of Wolves" and "Snow White: A Tale of Terror"
And with the note, "A different look at Neverland" or "Not Mary Martin's Neverland"
"Neverland"
Yeah I grew up with those original tales. Makes for a great imagination.
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Old November 20th, 2010, 07:54 AM
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The "real" stories...

TO chime in here, about the "real" source fairy tales, as opposed to the sanitized Disney versions:

"The Little Mermaid" by Hans Christian Anderson ends with the mermaid dying as the prince marries another girl. The prince mistakenly believes that the girl he marries is the one who rescued him from the ocean. The mermaid being mute, (losing her voice is the price she pays for gaining legs) is unable to explain. The mermaid dies at the end of the story as a result of being unable to get the prince to love her. Her mersisters bring her a knife, by which the mermaid could kill the prince and escape her enchanted doom, but the mermaid sacrifices her own life for the prince's happiness --- with another woman. The story is about the sacrifices people will make for unrequited love, which is why it is a classic!

Disney turned it into another highly profitable 'tweener marketing opportunity!
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Old November 20th, 2010, 12:20 PM
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well again my problem is doign hansel n gretel next without it sounding like a chick flick. right now red riding hood has the girl turning into the werewolf and cinderella having pyrokenesis. The only way i can think up hansel n gretel is the witch biting hansel, gets burning in the oven, and then hansel becomes the new troll n eats gretel n becomes the nextr servent on the main character.

Most of his curses and spells are done in german but depending on the origion of the story i also do it in other languages. Since red riding hood was supposedly universal i went with german but since cinderella is french i also did french. however i am assuming hansel n gretel is german or swedish so we will find out.
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