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Muscle & Mind Motivation, Inspiration and The Mind. What drives you?

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Old April 27th, 2005, 05:38 PM
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psychology of failure -- and focusing on the positive

Hey guys,

Just a rambling little post here, b/c I've been thinking lately about some of psychological aspects of training. Or, to be more precise, about some of the psychological challenges I face in my own training.

For as long as I can remember, I have been the kind of guy who takes his successes for granted but pays a great deal of attention to his failures. And while I can imagine that this could be productive for some people, I find that it winds up making certain things difficult for me -- particularly things that I'm not naturally good at, like lifting.

One of the ways this negative tendency typically manifests itself is that I find it very easy to get caught up in a negative feedback loop. When something goes wrong -- I don't get the full 10 reps I wanted in a set, for example; or I just feel like I didn't push hard enough with enough intensity -- I get pissed off about it and think about how it is just like every other time I've failed to get the reps I wanted, and then I can lose my focus and blow the next set too, which just makes things worse, etc...

Now, I know that the key to breaking this cycle is to just flip it. Focus on the times when I get a GREAT set -- and they do happen -- and just shrug off the moments of "failure". But this is easier said than done. I'm getting BETTER at it, but I'm fighting many many years of ingrained behaviours here.

And so I thought I'd ask if anybody out there has any mental/psychological techniques that they use to stay focused on the positive -- particularly in the face of the occasional failures to live up to one's own standards/expectations .

As I said, I'm getting better at handling this. And being able to articulate it certainly helps. But I figured I might as well see if anybody out there has any tips...

-- J.
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Old April 27th, 2005, 06:21 PM
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I don't have very good advice to offer on this topic, James, but I will point out that it sounds very much like something I used to experience on a regular basis, namely:

It used to be the case that whenever I got mega stressed out about something (usually over something I perceived as having gone wrong) I would have this kind of cascade effect in which suddenly I remembered EVERYTHING that I'd ever done wrong. I'd be standing in the shower repeating "never mind, never mind, never mind" under my breath, and it would just get worse.

Eventually I realized that part of the problem was that (a) I wasn't acknowledging (not quite the same thing as analyzing or expressing) my emotions regarding whatever was "going wrong" and (b) I'd stuffed the emotions for a million other things that I'd done previously.

Now when I'm in when of those situations, I just take a brief time out and go through a routine like this.

"OK, I'm really upset. I'm really upset because why? I'm really upset because I didn't do that set as well as I should have done. Which reminds me of all the other times that I didn't feel successful and it's not OK to not be successful.

"Except that it IS OK not to be 100% 100% of the time. In fact, I can't be 100% 100% of the time, or I'd never make any progress. 2 steps forward, 1/2 a step back."

The nice thing is that when I do this I don't get the cascade. It might remind me of one or two things that went blooey in the past -- and I stop and think about what I felt then and why.

I'm probably down to about 900,000 unacknowledged fuck ups! Quite an improvement over where I started 10-15 years ago!

Hope this helps.

:-)

xoxo

richard
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Old April 27th, 2005, 08:36 PM
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Years ago...

...when I was a major prima ballerina assoluto;I had to be SKINNY-SKINNY-SKINNY all the time.If I fell off the diet;I punished myself by eating more.Doesn't work.If you fall off the horse;you have to get back on the horse.In a few days,or a few months.Compassion isn't just for others.Don't beat yourself up.
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Old April 27th, 2005, 08:50 PM
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p.s.,....

...the only thing that means anything is what you DO!Guilt doesn't mean shit.
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Old April 27th, 2005, 08:55 PM
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p.p.s.,...

...you're one of the hotter guys on the board!So you must be doing something right!

Last edited by glammaman2000; April 27th, 2005 at 08:57 PM.
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