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  #1   Add to chimera0010's Reputation   Report Post  
Old June 29th, 2011, 11:53 AM
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Grimm Tales: Beauty and the Beast pt1

Grimm Tales: Beauty and the Beast pt1

Several months have passed since that day Alex had to deal with Davey Johnes and Billy Marshal. The new school year started and creeped along. Alex was still teaching his literature class on folklore. He kept a close eye on Billy, seeing that the boy did in fact slip around the curse and kept himself under control. As one could guess, it was centered around his lust and his temper so as long as he remained calm he would not change. However, the kids in school noticed something wrong with him when he would get angry and he would run away. They teased and harrased him, but he tried to keep calm.

The time now was Holloween, Alex threw a party in his house to celebrate, most of the campus showed up. What no one noticed is the scene going on in the bathroom. A young girl was struck in the eye by a young man, or wrather a young beast. He yelled at her, threatening to do far worse if she ever seen that guy again from the restaurant.
Billy" Maybe you will think twice before you flirt with that jerk off Markus again!"

Girl"I was not flirting.....he works with me at the restaurant...."
Billy"I am warning you Jessica....If i find out anything I will make you pay, you wont like me when you see me angry!" His looming dark shadow hung over her as she cried, hiding her face in the shower curtain. He left the bathroom, in his full beast form, fooling every one into thinking it was a perfect holloween costume. Jessica waited till he left and snuck out of the house, unnoticed by the party goers. She sat outside on the porch swing crying her eyes out, trying to cover her black eye with some makeup.

Jessica"when will I ever learn?...."
Alex"Something wrong dear?" He seemed to show up like a phantom from a movie. Dressed up like a vampire, wearing a red satin overcoat with black pants, his hair undone and gently moving in the breeze with glowing green eyes. He removes his eye contacts and sits next to her, his big leather book in his lap. She cried and told him everything, every one knew if Alex showed up, it was a good sign. He smiled and handed her his book.

"Jessica, I want you to read a story, and return the book to me when your finished. Its called Beauty and the Beast, I went over it in class today."

----the story----

We all know the tale on how it began. A young beautiful prince who had all the money and power he could ever want, took women to his bed every night. He abused his women, and then when he finished he tossed them out. One of his conquess just happened to be an enchantress who turned him into a monster. If he could find true love before the magic rose wilted away he wold become human again, if not, he would remain the monster for the rest of his life.

A hulking brute with the body of a bear, the head of a wolf, horns of a bull, and the claws of a lion. He dressed in baggy peasent pants with a large curtain for a cloak. He roamed the woods, feeding any animals he could find, and living in his castle alone like a wolf in his lair. The place was in shambles, anything of beauty or a reminder of his former beauty was destroyed in order to appease his greif and lonliness. He even devoured most of the servants who could not escape in time.

He found a young woman nearly dead in the wilds. Her name was Isabella, a young farm girl who ventured into the woods thinking she could kill some rabbits for food and got lost and cold. He nursed her back to life, they became friends, and over time he grew to love her. But her heart belonged to another man. He grew angry and could not come to grips with the reality that she was in love with a different man. She was engaged to marry a wealthy blacksmith in the village and when she was well enough, she planned to return to the village and get married.

He grew jealous, he became the old prince he once was on the inside. he locked her away in the tower of his castle, refusing to let her leave until he decided it was time. IT would never be, for he planned to keep her locked away until her heart chose him and not some blacksmith from a far off village he never knew or cared to know of.........
--------------------------

Jessica never finished the story, but continued the next day working her waitressing job at the restaurant. Markus was the chef there and the two made a good team. She sat down during her break and opened the book again, only to be interrupted by Markus who was also on break. He was a nice young man, average build, blonde hair, but smelled of bacon grease and ground beef. Jessica did not mind the smell, it was better then the odd dog smell that Billy often smelled of.

Markus" Hey Jess, what'cha reading?"
Jessica"A story a good customer asked me to read"

Markus"Hey umm...I know your with markus, but I figured it would be a good time to just let it out. I really like you and I think you can do better than Billy. He might be big and powerful n all but I dont think size makes you the better person when its the heart that counts." She was silent, considering his words and gave a soft smile. He stood up "Well I said my peace, let the chips fall where they may..." he gets up and walks back to the kitchen, throwing a dish wrag over his shoulder. Jessica went back to her book.

-----------------------------------------------
What the beast never counted on was Isabella's fiancee Jacob and her Cousin Rosalyn would venture into the woods to look for her. She was gone for months, and they got worried. They gathered their best hunting gear and rode the fastest horses through the woods, following what they could catch of their trail. They rode for days, soon seeing the castle on the hills. The only things that told them she was there was the shreds of her cloak in the trees, and the dim light shining from the tower of the castle.

Rosalyn was one of the villager's best trackers, used to climbing rough terrain she had no problem splitting off from Jacon and climbed the castle walls, The place looked like a giant crypt, a maze of walls and broken statues of angels. She moved around, sensing an animal presnt, but merely shrugged it off as a hungry wolf that she could easily handle. She moved up the tower stairs, and found her cousin laying on a bed of straw nest to a oil lamp.

Rosalyn" Isabella wake up!"
Isabella"Who?....Rosalyn!" She ran to the window in the door and clasped the hands of her brave cousin. Her tear filled eyes blurred her vision, not realising the beast was coming up behind at a fast pace. Before Rosalyn had time to draw her blade, the beast snatched her up. His powerful jaws clamped down on her stomach while his arms towe off her legs and limbs. He swallowed the meat in his mouth and tossed the peices over the wall.

Isabella"HOW COULD YOU!"
Beast"I...I did not mean to..." Before he could finish apologizing an iron arrow periced his shoulder. He turned to see Jacob loading another arrow into his cross bow, and soon joined by several soldiers from the village guard. The beast chased after them only to be lead off while Jacob removed the hinges off the door and helped Isabella escape. The soldiers retreated taking separate paths through the woods so the beast could not kill them all. He returned to the tower, seeing the woman he felt he loved. He roared out in rage, called her name in the night......

----------------

Markus comes up behind Jessica and yanks the book from her. "I cant beleive your still reading this story...." He looks at the book, skimming over the words and pages of other stories, the illustratons so detailed and graphic it seemed odd for a book so old. She yanks the book back from him, putting a book mark in the spot she was last at."The story is really interesting, nothing like you seen in movies."

Markus sits next to her, smiling. Jessica takes him by the hand and looks him in the eye. "I considered what you said. Your right, its whats in the heart that counts. BIlly was good n all before he got all big and mean. I guess he cant control his roid rage...." Markus smiles and just as he goes into kiss her, Billy showed up. He grabs Markus and chucks him across the room. he turns to face Jessica, his muscles ulding now and breaking one of the straps on his wife beater, his basketball shorts becoming tight around his glutes and thighs, his cock twinging to hardness. People didnt notice the fur slowly sprouting or the tiny horns peeking over his hair.

Jessica"Billy!...what are you doing here?"
Billy" I was coming to suprise you...BUT I CATCH YOU WITH THIS ASSHOLE!" He points at Markus and starts charging over to him to turn Markus into a bloody stain.

Jessica grabs him by the arm "Billy its over, NOW STOP!"
He turns to face her, his eyes full of rage. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR TALKING TO BITCH! YOU NEED ME AND YOUR NOTHING WITHOUT ME!" He grabs her wrist, squeezing it hard, his body changing even more into the beast, his shorts slowly popping at the seams, his sneakers becoming very tight.

She winces in pain but tries to keep her courage, "I am not affraid of you anymore Billy. Your a beast and a monster, I did fine before I met you and I will live on without you!" He begins to choke her. Just as she sees everything starting to go black, she falls to the ground gasping for air.
Alex came up behind Billy and grabed his right arm. With little effort in movement and thrown him across the restaurant and smashed into the wall. Alex adjusts his glasses and his hair and stands in front of Jessica.

"Billy I do beleive its time for you to leave....." Billy looks infuriated, how can this pipsqueek fling him like he is a child. He sees every one starting to stand up to him, and soon the cops would arrive. He runs out the back leaving as his shoes finally rip apart. Alex fixes his gloves and follows him out the back.

Alex"You know you could of handled that a little better..."

Billy turns around, fully transformed into the beast, his raging hardon large and swollen, curved backwards towards his abs. He pins Alex to the wall. "I hate you! what you did to me!" he grabs his mammoth dick "I should fuck you here n now n kill you!" He lets Alex go, only to see Alex vanish in a puff of smoke. "WONT BE THAT EASY KID, CONTROL YOURSELF!"
---to be continued---
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  #2   Add to Big Jake's Reputation   Report Post  
Old June 29th, 2011, 01:31 PM
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Oh keep goin' man this is really good I keep tellin' ya you have a real gift here.
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  #3   Add to Cirrostratus's Reputation   Report Post  
Old July 2nd, 2011, 01:12 AM
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The jumps between prose and script format make this almost painful to read. Little to no reason is given as to why anything happens, so your plot is inconsistent and befuddling. You seem to refer to an earlier story, but I have no idea what you mean. Maybe expand to make it internally consistent.

Spelling and grammar could use some improvement - many of your sentences run on and on. Put some periods in between there, please.
But mostly - it's the structure.
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