Exaggeration ch. 1 and 2

[More2048]

I had the strange urge to write something, and so far i olny have the first 2 chapters done and i hope to get more done. Ihis of course will include muscle growth, but I am going to include some other elements as well. And please dont flame me over the grammer, I checked it as best as I could. I just have a very hard time seeing any errors, even with spell check. Comments are apprechated.

Exaggeration

Chapter 1

“Things are going great so far,” I say to myself as I walk along the trail with my two buddies.

“Well besides last night where you push me off the balcony” said Doug, as he chucked a soggy stick at me. Batting it away from my head.

“Dale you so deserved that and you know it. If I was in Zach’s position there I would have jettisoned you off the balcony!” remarked Brian.

“Yeah next time you feed me 57 chili peppers disused inside a cake. I'm gonna shove it up your.”

“Yeah yeah yeah. What’s done is done, now if you don’t mind I would like to get out of here before it gets dark and critters start to creep about.” Interjected Doug, cutting me off mid sentence. Classic of him.

“Alright well we went south, so were gonna want to head back north, hmm common back up this trail” I said as we ventured back.

Me and my best friends Doug and Brian were out camping in the Catskills for 2 weeks. Fresh out of high school, we wanted to do something on our own for once. With out our lame parents about. So right after graduation we snuck up here with backpacks, camping equipment, and a car full of food and testosterone inflated teenagers, we were set. We wanted excitement, adventure, and well just plain fun. At the moment though, things weren’t going so well, and soon after, it got down right creepy.

“Dude are you sure this is the way came, on the way down the water was flowing towards that side” stated Brian.

“Well this is the only direction the trail goes, and we didn’t deviate off it all so this is the only way possible.” I said confidently as not to cause an argument. Quite frankly though, I was lost.
Doug was picking up on this

“Bull. We were not in this trail at all, there was a waterfall we passed about a mile before we turned around, and we have easily gone farther then that and we still haven’t seen one. These rock formations don’t even look familiar” In Doug’s normal fashion, he took over the three of us again. Ripping the map out of my backpack and ran in front of us. “See this is the way we came and… huh, were on the trail… but it’s not on the map, how old is this thing” said Doug inquizivly.

“I don’t know Brian got it”

“I grabbed it at the checking office before we drove up to our cabin, it can’t be that old because there were a bunch of tourist brochures next to it.” Brian said matter-of-factly

“Well were clearly not anywhere on the trail. Here lets go ahead and maybe well find the way.” He ran his thick blocky hands across his sweaty face. The humidity was getting to us all. And with him wherein a skintight shirt under a sweater wasn’t helping him. We walked onward.

“Dude just take the sweater off, your going to overheat” Brian said as he took his off, exposing his hairy and lightly muscled torso. He tossed his sweater on the ground in relief.

“Put your shirt back on you queer” Doug joked at Brian. I reached down and scooped up his sweater.

“Might want to bring this with you bud,” I said as I tossed him his sweater.

“Bah I don’t need it, you take it.” Said Brian clearly overheated as well.

“Meh, might as well join the club” I said as I peeled off my sweat soaked shirt, revealing my long torso. “Blegh gross” I looked down to find my chest covered with short black hairs again.

“shaving all that off is just gonna come and bite you in the ass later on, you know it only grows back thicker and denser” stated Brian

“Yea I know but I have to do it for swimming, and waxing just fucking hurts,” I said.

“hah sucks for you two” Doug pealed off his undershirt, revealing a muscle bound torso, wrestling did wonders for him, and over the last year he had exploded to 190 pounds, quite impressive for someone only 5’5. “smoothes and clean. Ooh yeahh” he said cockily.

“Ooh but what’s this!” yelled Brian “I see some hair right down yonder” he pointed to his bellybutton area.

“wha? Aww shit, common genetics don’t fail me now! I don’t wanna be some sasquach like poor old zachy over here!” he looked down to see a small treasure trail forming, then looking up to mock me.

“What did you say bub?” I walked over closely to him; being 6’2, I dwarfed him quite a bit. Making sure my chest was in contact with his face.

“Alright Alright that’s enough you two, break it up” Brian walked over to separate us. We all burst out laughing.

“That’s it!” Doug runs full force into be and tackles me into the ground. We rolled around for a minute, until he knees me in the crotch and I retract in pain. Was over me on all fours. His square facial features and light blonde stubble were highlighted in the sunlight. Sweat dripped from his chin. “Do you give?!” he said panting with a cocky smile.

“Some... Wrester... u are…” I said in pain. “Kneeing someone in the crotch like that.” I braced my back on the hill, and with one quick shove, I pushed him back on the trail with both my feet. He fell with an audible thud into Brian who was watching confused as usual. I pushed my hair back with my hands and stood up. “Serves you right, sorry bri.”

“Yeah sure you are.” He kicked Doug off him stood up and straighter out his shirt. “Keep off me you hotheaded oaf.” He scolded Doug. Brian always was the mediator of the group. Seldom getting in arguments. He went quite agents the grain of a typical Italian in that sense. He looked exactly like one, just didn’t act it. “Now if you two are done smashing each other like the incredible hulk. Maybe we can get back on trail”

Doug beat his chest like a gorilla and jumped around. “Quit it you ape, lets get going.” I said as we walked along.

Chapter 2

We walked on for several more hours, to realize that we were long lost. The map was no help we seemed to be on some mystery trail. It was starting to get slightly dark, and our water was gone. Doug tried his best by making light of the situation, but after shoving all of us into the mountain stream nearby and freezing in the water. We soon realized no more kidding around we needed help ASAP. Brian kept to himself in front of Doug and I. we couldn’t keep up with his runners legs.

“Yo Brian slow down were dying back here” I shout forward, a rasp forming my throat from being so tired. Doug limping on my shoulder from being so excused. He wasn’t made for such long hikes.

“Wait hurry up. Theres an old house up here! They might be able to give us directions!” Brian shouted back. We perked up and ran to catch up with him.

“See? It looks kind of old but there’s lights on, let’s go see what’s up.”
We all walked up slowly. Butterflies formed in my stomach, something wasn’t right here. We were much too deep in the woods for any normal person or camper to be back here. It seemed something right out of a fairy tale… Doug knocked on the door and a shill voice called back.

“Come inn!”

We opened the door and cautiously walked in. there were old wooden knickknacks everywhere. It looked more like a house that would belong in Bavaria, old dark wood floors, rafters, and a dimly candle lit rooms. The air had an old dry smell to it. Quite the contrast to the air outside. It tickled my nose. “AHHCHOO”

“Bless you dearie, come in! come in! I haven’t had any visitors in some time. I’m back here, don’t be shy”

We round a corner to see a short old woman stirring a pot of stew over a potbelly stove. It was red and smelled like some kind of foreign tomato. She glanced back at us. She had an old weather appearance to her, wise, with a top of curly white hair. And a small nose. She had an old blue and yellow apron on with loose threads, as if it has been used one too many times. She
kept brushing it.

“Well don’t be rude, tell me your names. Sure you must have names.” She said entusaticly, as if she hasn’t seen a person in years.

“Umm this is Zach, Brian, and I’m Doug.” Doug spoke for all of us, straining to speak from exhaustion. “We came here for a hike, but were kind of lost, we can’t find were we are in the map at all, its like were on some hidden underground trail or something. Do you think you could give us some directions?”

“Of course youngins! But please have a seat, ill make you some soup, I’ve been making a whole batch of tomato bisque. You look exhausted, please sit.” The old women seemed kind. Quickly running around the kitchen for some odd jars and spices.

“I’m Ms. Welden, in case you’re wondering. I’ve lived here for several years now. It’s quite nice, very peaceful, and quite. It’s so nice to get visitors now and then. I’m almost done with the soup; here take a bowl and a glass everyone. So are you boys enjoying your vacation?”

Vacation? None of us have mentioned that to her. Or did we say something to her. I paused for a second. “Oh, umm, yeah it’s going pretty well. We have been doing a lot of hiking, and there’s a lake near by so I have been practicing some swimming while I’m up here too.” I said quietly, clearly tired.

“Oh you’re a swimmer? That’s good to here; you have a nice build for it too. Long torso, long arms, and big hands too. It’s a shame you have all that hair though,” She said without even looking at me. I reached down and rubbed my stomach under my shirt, feeling self concisions about my hairiness. Brian and Doug passed me a curious glance, they too wondering why she was acting so peculiar. For someone who looked old and wise she sure was proving it.

“Umm… yeah I swam at my high school. Doug wrestles and Brian is a sprinter. We all did different sports in school.” I informed her with a puzzled tone.

“Ah it’s good to hear some kids are active now adays… you all seem quite well off for your chosen sports, almost every attribute is set for it.”

Brian spoke up finally; he seemed the most puzzled out of us all. “Yeah were pretty good at what we do, but were not perfect for it.”

“Hmm… well no one is” *ding* “ah the soup is prepared!” she walked around to each of us and gave us a small cup of soup and a glass of water. She smiled sweetly at each of us as she poured.

“Oh dear it is getting dark, I would feel better if you spent the night here, I don’t want to feel responsible if anything should happen. Would you mind?

I sipped my soup as we all looked at each other. Tired and lethargic we just nodded. The old women smiled

“Ill go prepare some beds, ill be right back as I go outside to the storage rooms,” she said as she walked out a backdoor.

The soup tasted sweet and bitter just like tomato bisque does, but different. There was a bunch of unique tastes I could put my finger on. Something similar to cilantro, but it enhanced the flavor

“This is so strange you guys. It all happened so quickly. At least the lady is nice.” The taste of the soup grew on me and I ate faster.

“Yeah but she’s kind of creepy… how the hell did she know we were on vacation? I mean didn’t say anything about and neither did you to, and she keeps looking at us weird, like she’s scanning us for something” Doug said with a tone of concern, he put his arms behind his head and flexed, tightening his shirt, his biceps pushed on his ears.

“well all we can do now is wait till morning, ill tell you one thing I’m not going out there a…” *foowhs* a red light flashed like a flare outside one of the windows we all ran over to see what it was. The old women was sitting on the ground and got up, to grab a grabbed a bunch of cots

“uh i. g…i.g mu.. t.o ..d to .o ..ese t..c.s” it was hard to hear here beyond the glass.

She looked at the window where we were looking, she half jumped and waved. She walked back in

“Ah here we are. Ill lay these out in the living room and you boys can go to sleep when you like. Ooof. Hmm I’m going to get myself a hot rag I hurt my leg outside.” She walked in the other room and called back as her voice echoed thought the house “just put your soup bowls in the sink and do what you would like”.

We placed out bowls in the sink and began to talk amongst ourselves. I let out a long yawn “sheesh I’m more tired then I thought. Anyway after we get out of here what do you guys wanna do tomorrow?” I asked them. Brian just shrugged.

“Well we might as well keep around the cabin, because I sure don’t want you two drag me into something like this again,” Doug said jokingly

“Yeah sure. WE did it and you had noting to do with it,” Brian said as he shoved him in the arm barely budging him.

“That’s right I didn’t.” he said with a smug smile. “seriously though that old lady is freaky man, what the hell was she doing outside, that couldn’t have been no flare, it made a different noise then those things make.” He got a real serious look on his face and said quietly “if she dose anything freaky around me I’m out of here”

“cool it Doug, don’t let your temper get the best of you, well leave first thing in the morning, but until then we best be nice to her, I mean she is letting us stay here, even if she is a bit creepy.” I said trying to calm Doug and his rash tendencies. “It had to have been a flare anyway, what else could it have been.” I bend over far to reach Doug’s short stature.

“Well I don’t know about you guys but I’m tired. I’m hedding to bed, don’t kill each other."

“Yeah as long as the beanpole over here leaves me alone” Doug said jokingly.

“Hey I aint no beanpole. I got some definition right hear bud.” I said flexing my arm at him. It wasn’t huge, but impressive on a swimmers body like mine, I went though a bunch of pose showdown with him. Doug clearly bigger then me in strength.

“Psh you two, night” Brian said as he crawled into bed.

I give Doug another shove and head to the bathroom “Alright I’m really tired too I’m gonna use the bathroom and turn in”. I said and I shout to the other end of the house “good night ms Welden, thank you” a clanks and what sounded like glass bottles drop, but don’t break “opps! Oh good night dears!” she said cheerfully.

I head into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. Dark tired eyes stare back at me under heavy thick eyebrows. I looked almost animalistic under the dim light, stubble was appearing all over my chin, and the rest of my face, my face looked withdrawn from lack of water all day. My normally tan skin looked paler. Making my Irish side appear more apparent then my Turkish side. My mind started to drift…

“What the hell are you doing in there whacking off?” said Doug from the other side of the door.

I jump half scared out of my skin. “Geese do you knock?! You scared me half to death!” I opened the door and walked out

“You aren’t the only neverous one this house is creepy as hell at night” said Doug with a hint of fear in voice, it wasn’t like him

I settled in the cot and lied down, my feet draped over the end of the cot, it being clearly too small for me. I began to sleep as I herd a quiet humming coming from the other end of the house, eerie noises sounding somehow familiar. And soft lights flickering from there. I dosed off…

[Xyggurat]

Solid beginning! I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more.

-X-

[sexiscriptor]

Indeeed; I know you said not to flame you on it but really...I wouldn't want to see a solid story ruined by grammar. So check over the grammar; spellcheck only does so much on its own...
~Sexi

[More2048]

Originally Posted by sexiscriptor

Indeeed; I know you said not to flame you on it but really...I wouldn't want to see a solid story ruined by grammar. So check over the grammar; spellcheck only does so much on its own...
~Sexi

arg i cannot convey this enough to anyone. grammer is a near impossiblilliy for me. (mabye im partially dyslexic?) ill go over it a few more times, mabye ill catch something

[chocomus]

That lady is kinda scary. It seems to me that the nicer she is, the scarier she got.
I hope she doesn't plan on eating them or something... Just a joke In fact I really liked the start of the story. Go on.

[thedman]

Originally Posted by More2048

arg i cannot convey this enough to anyone. grammer is a near impossiblilliy for me. (mabye im partially dyslexic?) ill go over it a few more times, mabye ill catch something

Hey there guy, email the story to me and I will clean up the grammar for you and then you can post it. (years of experience as a administrative assistant to people who slept through 15 years of English.....)

thedman

[muscl4life]

And don't worry about the grammer so much, I speak as a non-native english speaker - you just do whatever you think is the best you can do! I'm really sure that minor mistakes won't affect the fact that you wrote a very good and richly built story - those who hunt after grammar slips are not acutally trying to take you down (I learned that the hard way ) they are trying to help you to get better with your stories, that's actually kind, although I recognize that sometimes they may hit us a little too harsh.

In any case, please bear in your mind that none of the few mistakes you did can affect the great story you're writing, and I'm really looking foward to read more chapters.

Congratulations again

[More2048]

thanks for all the positive feedback! it means alot to me.

now im not really the writing type person. but ill work on the story more when i have time. i doubt it will be done for a few weeks but i will do more.

[dan25]

..really enjoying your story---hope you continue and I mean soon

[LipsK]

yeah. the first 2 chapters were great and really got me curious about what will happen!! Great work

[fillups44]

Nice work and the grammar wasn't too distracting. Most of these stories aren't perfect. I love the way you've built the relationships between the three guys and made them each individuals. You've made some clear differences in them physically which makes me all the more anxious for the (I'm assuming) upcoming transformations.
The old lady is lots of fun too and an earlier comment was right on the money. The nicer she gets the scarier she gets. Very nice work!!