Accepting Muscle Growth

[buffdoc]

I have been pumping iron religiously for the last two years and have made some great changes to my body. Sometimes, however, despite objective evidence to the contrary, I still perceive myself as looking thin and meek. As an example, before I took up lifting 2 years ago, I had a 11 1/4 inch bicep. Now it measures 16 1/2 inches, although my long-term goal is 18 inches. I was talking to a friend about how I hate my current arm size and that I thought I looked horrible in short sleaved shirts; he right out called me crazy and told me I looked great. As reviewing some before and after training photos of myself, I came to accept that my friend wasn't bullshitting me and that my arms are definitely above average.

Has anybody else had similiar experiences as they have bulked up?
Have others experienced a lag between objective physical evidence that one is growing and truly mentally accepting that growth on a personal level?

[ottomun6]

Yep, I was skinny (5'8" and 130lbs) and even though I have beefed up to 190 plus lbs, I still occasionally see myself as skinny especially when I walk up to a glass door and see the reflection. To me, I see a guy that is maybe a couple of pounds heavier, but still kind of puny looking. But on the flip side, I see that I am pretty buffed when I see myself clearly in a bathroom mirror. ------then I just wish for another 20-30lbs to outgrow xl shirts.

Absolutely! I remember when I had 11" arms and thought they were big. I also remember knowing that I had 17" arms and would see myself as not that great looking. Body image is a powerful mental force. It's power ranges from euporia to depression. People can starve themselves to death because they view themselves as too fat despite being emaciated.

Once aware of this problem I watched my internal body image literally change within hours. One moment feeling really lousy about my progress, then shortly being elated that "YES", I'm one hot lookin' MF, then being disappointed with my size again shortly after that.

The best medicine was the comments I got from others. I remember one time getting rave comments from non-bodybuilders about my traps being so thick and high. I thought about it and realized that these comments are genuine, yes, I did have great traps but that damned old body image just peering at me from my mind and blocking the image in the mirror.

For a while I did physique photography and a good set of photos by someone who knows physique and lighting can really show you the contours you've got.

One trick in improving your body image is to find a place where the lighting is above you and casts semi-sharp shadows of your delts, pecs, triceps downward when you look in a mirror. Bright, even, lighting makes even the pros look flat and uninteresting.

There was a place in the gym locker room where I would stand under one of the lights to change clothes. Right in that spot I looked marvelous in the mirror. I'd start my workout with a good self image and I'd finish my workout pumped, exausted and looking even more marvelous just by standing in the right light.

[ottomun6]

...how about walking someplace and thinking to yourself "what are you looking at?" and eventually realizing that your build is showing even though you are wearing a jacket? I was getting a bit paranoid thinking that my build was hidden under clothes, then I'd hear a cat-call or notice someone sneaking a peek at me.
I used to be this gawky-lanky-twig as a teenager and though my twenties. As I have gotten older, I guess I have gotten better looking on top of getting buffed. So I'm not quite sure how to handle the extra attention. I'm moving from a world were nobody paid me any attention to a world of being noticed.
I just hope I don't end up like a friend of mine, he was VERY buffed (about 5'7" and 225lbs) really a nice guy, but he told me that he was getting into fights because of guys who had been drinking would pick him out for a fight when he was minding his own business!

[wbhunk]

Definitely, buffdoc. Since I got back into the gym a year and a half ago, I've made considerable improvement, but there is that lag. I distinctly remember thinking one morning..."My shirt is definitely tighter"....then slamming down on that with, "Well, you must have washed it in too-hot water." <g>

Even though I know that's not true, it's hard to accept that yes, I actually AM growing. To me, one of the best ways of noticing it is how my clothes are getting tighter, fitting less....plus, it sounds weird, but I will wrap my hand on my bicep, like I was measuring it, then take it off but leave the measured size behind....put that up against some other thing, like a coffee can, and it brings it into perspective.

It's a funny thing...but the key to dealing with it, in my mind, is keeping things in perspective. You don't want to become TOO conscious of your size; if you can't take a rest day, even if you're sick, because you're afraid of getting smaller or losing size, you have a problem.

[RyBearATL]

I have the same experience. I have a goal for 2004, which is to appreciate the progress I've made WITHOUT becoming an egotist.

I mean, what's the point of doing all this if you can't appreciate and enjoy the results? It doesn't mean you're better than anyone else just because you've got a good body, but who wants to work out for 1 to 2 hours a day and NOT get anywhere? Now THAT would really be painful!

-R