A Word Out of Place - Part 3

[tekuno]

This story is now complete. Content warnings and description for this story accompany part 1. Each part has a link to the next part at the end for your convenience.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten

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I almost forgot to post anything tonight! Having this stuff ready in advance does no good if I'm not actually going to use it...

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A Word Out of Place
Part 3

"Your Highness, now that your parents and your brother have departed, it is time for your lessons."

"Oh, surely they can wait until after lunch."

"Your Highness, I am under orders to ensure that you have your lessons."

"Hmmmm. I order you to postpone today's lessons until after lunch."

"Yes, your Highness."

"I order you not to call me 'Your Highness'."

"Yes, Prince Andrew."

"Interesting. I order-- ah, I haven't given you a name yet. From now on, your name is Simon. You look like a Simon to me. I order you to tell me your name."

"Prince Andrew, my name is Simon."

"Very well. Simon, let's head to the kitchens and get some lunch."

"Prince Andrew, royalty usually dines in the dining hall."

"I know. Big and drafty and formal and slow. I hate it. And now that my father has left me alone, I don't have to do it any more. Come along, I know the cook here. She used to work in the capital."

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"Very good, Prince Andrew. Very good indeed. I was not prepared for this. His Majesty told me that you had been skipping your lessons."

"Father never bothered to ask WHY I was skipping lessons. Nor did he ask if I was learning them. He was merely concerned with appearances, not outcomes. That's father all over. He always had trouble with his lessons, and so he thinks that nobody can possibly grasp these things without a struggle. Much of it is simply common sense. If Ellen were not out overseeing the meat preservation today, you would have heard a story or two about it."

"Nevertheless, Prince Andrew, you should develop the self-discipline necessary to endure boredom. A great deal of the life of royalty is boring."

"Simon, you don't need to tell me that. I had deduced as much already. Now, we have completed today's lessons, and there is still quite a bit of time before dinner. Do you already have any orders about what to do in these circumstances?"

"No, Prince Andrew."

"Hmmmm. It's a bit late in the day to visit the orchard, or the river. Ah, I know. Perhaps we can extend my tutelage in other directions. I know you are very skilled with your sword, Simon. How about giving me lessons?"

"I can do that, Prince Andrew, if it is necessary, but I will be obliged to use a stick myself, and you will need several layers of padding."

"What?"

"My skill at forms of basic combat is such that I cannot possibly avoid occasionally striking you, and under my orders from the King, I cannot permit you to come to harm."

"Ha ha! Very true. Very well, today we will find a suitable pair of sticks and some padding, and when we next have free time, we shall begin our lessons."

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Prince Andrew's moan was stifled by the cloth he had stuffed in his mouth. In his mind's eye, he saw Simon's victory over the royal guards again and again, and frantically sought relief.

On the other side of the door, Simon slept.

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"Prince Andrew, we really must begin your lessons soon."

"Nonsense. This morning is a time for great adventures and the righting of wrongs! And breakfast, too! Luckily for us, we can begin all three at once. Come along, Simon, the kitchen is this way."

"Prince Andrew! Please walk more slowly. I am in charge of your deportment!"

"Very well. To please my tutor, then. Now then: hello, fair maiden, can you spare a few viands for a poor second son and a wandering knight?"

"Prince Andrew! Well, now, how nice to see you again! You've grown since last I saw you!"

"Ha ha, Ellen, you flatter me. Oof! You hug as strongly as ever. You should be a guard, not a chef!"

"Ah, Prince Andrew, let me look at your face again. Hmmm, you haven't been eating as you should. You are twice the height and half the depth. Even the growth of youth does not explain such a change."

"Since father banished you here, I haven't been allowed to visit the kitchens any more. And the dining hall puts me off my feed, as well you know."

"And why should I not give food to a hungry little boy, I should like to know. And one with every right to the food, too! Your Father does not consider his orders as he ought, sometimes."

"Hush! If anyone told Father what you were saying, you would not be merely banished. He has grown wary of rebellion of late."

"He has cause. News arrives slowly, here, but even a cook can piece together the details. Every rebel he cuts down plants rebellion in the heads of two more. Since your mother died everyone feels his suspicion."

"I'm afraid that that is all too obvious. And Alfred seems to be Father all over again. But what can I do about it? The King rules, and the eldest son becomes the next King. Better for me to be here, far from them both."

"Well, at least you can eat, then. Janice, fetch a serving of eggs, two slices of ham, two slices of bread, and a glass of ale for Prince Andrew. Gladys, clear that table there."

"One moment. Janice, bring twice the amount Ellen has described. My tutor will be joining me for breakfast."

"Your tutor? Oh, this fellow. In that case -- Janice, perhaps you had better simply bring a loaf of bread and a third of a ham back to the kitchen. And what remains of the tray of eggs. I will see to the ale myself."

"Simon, you charmer, you have the castle chef doing you favors already. Have you been dallying here before I arrived?"

"No, Prince Andrew."

"Simon, is it? No, Prince Andrew. This lad has..." Ellen's round face took on a troubled look. "...kept himself to himself. I do not suppose he has said more than three words together to any of my girls, or any of the footmen, either. But I am in charge of provisions here, and I know how much each person in this fortress is likely to eat. If the bo-- Master Simon does not finish the ham and the bread, then he's ill."

"My, my, Simon. I had no idea you had such an appetite."

"I am sorry, Prince Andrew. The spell enhances me, but it does nothing to replenish me when I exercise its benefits. And I have been wearing both mail and plate all day every day since I can remember."

"Ah, it does look heavy. I can't stand mail, myself. Last time I went on parade, I could hardly stand for days afterward."

"Yes, Prince Andrew. It is a great weight."

"Ah, here comes the food. While we eat, Ellen, why don't you sit and keep us company."

"Gladly, Prince Andrew."

"Ellen, I have an idea."

"Prince Andrew, I would be surprised if you did not. I suspect you have a great many ideas. The question is, is this the sort of idea which will end up with you stuck in a tree and in trouble with your Father?"

"There will be no trees. At least, not in association with my idea. And Father does not need to know of my idea. He will have his hands full chasing imaginary rebels who pop up behind him. While he is so engaged, however, I am the only representative of the family here, and therefore have the highest authority. My orders may not be absolute, but nobody here can countermand them."

"That's true, Prince Andrew."

"Well, then, I see no reason why this fortress and this town should not be run on more just lines than the capital. Tell me what orders need to be issued, and I shall resolve all the injustices, and we will not be troubled by the 'rebellion'."

"It does you credit, Prince Andrew, but now that your Father has departed, there isn't any injustice which can be corrected."

"What?"

"His Majesty ignores this part of the kingdom, Prince Andrew. We are by and large free to arrange things as we see fit. The people here may have no cause to love your father, but they are happy enough with things as they are."

"Ha! Then, just as Father finds rebels wherever he goes--"

"--the place where he never goes is where he would never find a rebel. Yes. And so, the only injustices I can think of are in the past. And I'm not sure how you could make up for them." Once again Ellen seemed a bit disconcerted.

"Well, then, I suppose I will just relax. I remember being here with Mother when I was small, and I seem to recall many places where I can profitably employ my leisure."

"Yes, indeed, Prince Andrew. I'm sure the townsfolk will soon trust you as I do."

"Well, we have broken our fast, and very tasty it was. I suppose, Simon, that you will insist on lessons next?"

"Yes, Prince Andrew, there really seems to be no reason to delay."

"Very well, you and I will proceed to the library. We will see you again at lunchtime, Ellen. We will eat here, I insist."

"Certainly, Prince Andrew, if you wish it."

Ellen watched the two young men leave, a frown growing on her face. For the rest of the morning, her staff found it difficult to claim her attention.

[muscl4life]

The story is getting into a much better flow now. Congratulations, I really enjoyed this chapter

[muscle16a]

So far, so good.

One comment, though: It is very hard to create a really good story using nothing but dialogue. (If you don't believe me, ask any playwright!) If you remove some of the quotations and instead try to describe the actions, you might come up wth a more free-flowing story.

[tekuno]

Originally Posted by muscle16a

So far, so good.

One comment, though: It is very hard to create a really good story using nothing but dialogue. (If you don't believe me, ask any playwright!) If you remove some of the quotations and instead try to describe the actions, you might come up wth a more free-flowing story.

This story is already complete, and I'm not going to rewrite it, and a lot of it is in dialog, so if you don't like lots of dialog, I'm afraid you'll need to go elsewhere.

(Besides, this is a medieval setting without standardized weights and measures. The characters can't whip out a tape measure and read off the size of their body parts, or brag about benching weights we would recognize. The meter wasn't devised until relatively recently in history, and the previous systems of feet which eventually became the imperial system in use in the U.S. today varied by country and even between the rule of different monarchs in the same country, so distance measurements in a medieval setting are wildly inaccurate. That being the case, it's convenient to have the characters talk a lot about how big they're getting in general terms. The alternative would be to drag in some made-up measurement system, and I feel that writing "why, Prince Andrew, your arm is more than 34 gloopnicks around" is beneath me. The more so as that would need to be either followed by a footnote along the lines of "approximately 20 inches" or else some character needlessly saying aloud that the average man's arm is only 25 gloopnicks. I say it's contrived, and I say the heck with it. There's enough of that in this story as-is!)