A Word Out of Place - Part 8

[tekuno]

This story is now complete. Content warnings and description for this story accompany part 1. Each part has a link to the next part at the end for your convenience.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten

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I had a spare moment early in the day, so I'm posting this early to avoid forgetting it later.

Also, the medical weirdness I've been experiencing finally seems to be receding (knock on wood) enough that I may actually be able to get enough sleep tonight, if I can just get to bed on time. This being the case, I'd rather have the story posted in advance and have one less thing to do tonight.

The end (of the story) is near; two more parts at most.

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A Word Out of Place
Part 8

Simon knocked on the door. "Prince Andrew, it is time for your lessons."

Silence.

"Your father has ordered me to ensure that you do not miss your lessons under any circumstances. I have no choice but to enter."

Silence.

"Prince Andrew, I am coming in."

Simon gently opened the door, and walked in. Andrew's massive form lay on the bed, facing away from the door.

"Are you all right, Prince Andrew?"

"I didn't know, Simon."

"I know you didn't know, Prince Andrew."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's all right, Prince Andrew. You are not your father. You are a much better man than your father. You were not responsible for what happened to me. It isn't your fault."

"How can I face you? Knowing what I know about-- about the dungeon, how can I possibly look you in the eye?"

"Don't worry about it, Prince Andrew. I will wear my tunic, and mail, and armor, just like always, and you can forget that I'm a scarred freak."

Andrew let out a groan.

Simon's tone began to rise. "Please get up, Prince Andrew. Everyone is worrying about you. Ellen kept your breakfast warm for three hours. She has been here twelve times since dawn. The guards are concerned that you may be ill."

"Leave me alone."

"Please, Prince Andrew, I have no choice. I have to give you lessons, no matter how disgusted you may be."

Another groan.

Simon's voice took on a pleading tone. "Please? Prince Andrew? Won't you get up? Do it for Ellen, she's still your friend. You can make an effort for her, even if you can't love a defiled servant like me--"

Andrew sat bolt upright, staring at Simon. "What did you just say?"

"N-nothing, my Prince."

"You said I couldn't love you!"

"Just a momentary aberration, Prince Andrew. Nothing to worry about. I'll just... I'll just go and get you some food. And then we can go to the library, and you can get your lessons done."

"Simon! Stop where you are!"

"No, Prince Andrew, I'll keep my distance, I promise. But I have to give you your lessons, there's simply no way around--"

"Simon!"

"Prince Andrew!"

"Simon! I order you to come here and kiss me."

"What?"

"You aren't doing it? What happened to 'cannot disobey a direct order'? Oh, wait." Andrew reached to the table by his bed, and picked up his amulet from where he had thrown it the night before. "I order you to come here and kiss me. Twice, to make up for failing to obey the first time."

Simon, radiating bewilderment every step of the way, obeyed.

"Mmmm, Simon, how could you possibly think that way? I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you."

"What? Prince Andrew, I don't think--"

"Hush. Close that door. And lock it. Now come here. Let's get that armor off you--"

"Prince Andrew?"

"I know you are a stickler for propriety, but when we are alone, from now on please just call me 'Andrew'."

"My Prince--"

"Do I have to make that an order? I don't like to use compulsion on you, but..."

"No, Andrew."

"Much better. Now the mail, too."

"Andrew, are you sure--"

"Hush, Simon. If only I had known earlier, we wouldn't have had to wait so long. Now, let's get the tunic off. Good. And the trousers..."

"Andrew!"

"Mmmmm. Even if I hadn't been told, I would have known you were magic. Sit here, Simon."

"Andrew?"

"Yes?"

Simon's face was red. "Do you think you could take your trousers off too?"

Andrew thought this was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

-----

Ellen, pushing a cart laden with food and drink, stopped at the Prince's bedroom door. She looked around for Simon, and then put her ear to the door. After a few moments, she nodded, and walked away as softly as she could manage, smiling.

-----

Prince Andrew -- not having undertaken any of his usual exercises during the day -- had more energy than usual, and made the most of it.

On the inside of the door, Simon's armor and clothing lay in a heap.

-----

"So you have completed your tuition?"

"That's right, Ellen. Simon is satisfied that I am letter-perfect in all the subjects Father demanded I learn."

"And an excellent student you have been, too, Prince Andrew."

"The incentives involved were too much for me to do otherwise."

"Incentives, Prince Andrew?"

"For every lesson learned, Simon would let me--"

"Andrew!"

"Well, Ellen, you see how it is. I cannot tell tales out of school."

"Ha ha! Very clever! But what will the two of you do now? More guard training?"

"I think not. Andrew is already doing as much exercise as he profitably can. What would be the point, if the only purpose served were to wear him down?"

"Besides, Ellen, I might grow too strong and challenge Simon, and he is too jealous of his strength to permit that."

"Hush, Prince Andrew. If you are approaching Simon's strength, then you are a marvelous man indeed, but even you must surely have a long way to go."

"What, you doubt my strength?"

"I do not doubt your size. I do not believe there is another to match you in the kingdom. Simon is a large man, but you could make three of him."

"Not quite, Ellen, but he is not far off. He is approaching three times my weight, and I believe that he has grown four inches in height since his arrival here last year."

"It's good to see my cooking going to good use. Your appetite does not seem to be slackening in the slightest with time, Prince Andrew."

"No, and in fact I was going to ask if I might once again request larger portions."

"What, again?"

"I can't help it. It all goes to feed my size, and I hardly finish eating before I am hungry again."

"I am sorry, Andrew, I believe that that, too, is caused by the salts. If you would like I could reread the grimoire and see if the wizard had any ideas for fine-tuning the growth effects."

"Not on your life, Simon. I know you love this."

"How does... your time in bed work, with one of you so much the larger than the other?"

"Quite well, although... well, I hate to say it..."

"Oh? Trouble between the two of you?"

"In the evening, there is not space left in the bed for me when once Prince Andrew lies flat. I have begun to lie on top of him. And thanks to the salts, a certain part of him is now a formidable obstacle."

"How terrible! Andrew, you should issue orders for a larger bed, or perhaps a second one."

"You misunderstand me, Ellen. I was not complaining."

"Prince Andrew, you can look away with all the nonchalance you can muster, but I can still see that the backs of your ears are red."

"Must we discuss this where anyone can hear?"

"Ha ha! Blushing like a schoolboy, just when he ceases to be one. But we digress. What do you plan to do to take up the extra time?"

"I thought that perhaps I would take up painting."

"What?"

"Why not? I have no duties, there is no reason to exercise, and we have a great deal of time. And there are paints and brushes already present from the days when Mother stayed here."

"I suppose it's as reasonable as anything else."

"Meanwhile, I shall continue to instruct the Prince in history, but from now on in such topics as may be of interest rather than the king's curriculum. And perhaps some philosophy as well. I am not sure whether my order to instruct will permit me to stop merely because we have finished the curriculum, and in any case it has become a habit."

"Oh, say, Ellen, can we have some salted fish for lunch tomorrow?"

Ellen frowned. "I'm afraid not, Prince Andrew. We are out of fish, except for what can be found in the stream, and it's the wrong time of year and weather for much of that."

"What? There was a caravan of provisions just yesterday!"

"Ah, yes, but fish is no longer available. It seems your father has determined that the fishermen are smuggling arms for the rebels. He had half of them executed and the rest imprisoned."

"What? But that means half the coastal towns will starve! And what about--"

"Hush, Prince Andrew. Have you forgotten there is a standing reward for those who report seditious talk? Go and find your paints, and prepare yourself for more ham."

Part 9

[Hanugumo]

Yay!!! Part 8!! I like this part.
I hope Andrew will dethrone his father and become king himself. His father is a tyrant.

[tekuno]

Originally Posted by Hanugumo

Yay!!! Part 8!! I like this part.
I hope Andrew will dethrone his father and become king himself. His father is a tyrant.

This story was written -- or, more exactly, this version of this story was chosen instead of other ones -- in response to a comment on one of my other stories from Mass Driver, after I criticized that particular story for being too depressing. I have a feeling that a lot of people are either going to refuse to ever read anything I write again, or demand the alternate ending I offered to write a while ago...

[Rarity]

Originally Posted by tekuno

This story was written -- or, more exactly, this version of this story was chosen instead of other ones -- in response to a comment on one of my other stories from Mass Driver, after I criticized that particular story for being too depressing. I have a feeling that a lot of people are either going to refuse to ever read anything I write again, or demand the alternate ending I offered to write a while ago...

Well I'm glad you're doing the happy version. I like where the story is going so far.

Depressing stories are, well, depressing. I understand that it's a good twist, but people don't really come here for twists. They come here for happy feel goods, whether it be for:
fapping
reading a good story
looking at pictures
posting stats and their pictures
discussing stuff
sitting in the chat room and not talk


If a story is depressing from the start, that's actually even better for drawing in people. It makes them go "Well shit, I hope this gets better than it already is." which it generally does. If a story ends sadly, it suddenly turns ALL the good points of the story into shit. Because no matter how great the middle and begging was, the readers know the ending will be horrendously sad.

The only time when it's OK for bad things to happen is if the character is unimportant or extremely evil. Some people like it when a cocky guy (otherwise decent) gets screwed over. Some people like it when a totally great guy gets screwed over. But it's safe to say a majority hate it when a decent (possibly misguided) important character/the good guy gets screwed over. It becomes even more depressing if you give multiple reasons for people to like a character. :<

We can still have twists in our story, as long as the guy sort of gets what he wants. Even if it's forced change people think it's OK assuming the guy had a cruddy/boring life or if he turns into some sort of muscly-variant of something.

TL;DR, you're right. loooooooooool

[tekuno]

Originally Posted by Rarity

Well I'm glad you're doing the happy version. I like where the story is going so far.

Depressing stories are, well, depressing. I understand that it's a good twist, but people don't really come here for twists. They come here for happy feel goods, whether it be for:
fapping
reading a good story
looking at pictures
posting stats and their pictures
discussing stuff
sitting in the chat room and not talk


If a story is depressing from the start, that's actually even better for drawing in people. It makes them go "Well shit, I hope this gets better than it already is." which it generally does. If a story ends sadly, it suddenly turns ALL the good points of the story into shit. Because no matter how great the middle and begging was, the readers know the ending will be horrendously sad.

The only time when it's OK for bad things to happen is if the character is unimportant or extremely evil. Some people like it when a cocky guy (otherwise decent) gets screwed over. Some people like it when a totally great guy gets screwed over. But it's safe to say a majority hate it when a decent (possibly misguided) important character/the good guy gets screwed over. It becomes even more depressing if you give multiple reasons for people to like a character. :<

We can still have twists in our story, as long as the guy sort of gets what he wants. Even if it's forced change people think it's OK assuming the guy had a cruddy/boring life or if he turns into some sort of muscly-variant of something.

TL;DR, you're right. loooooooooool

Um... well, uh, if that's what you thought I was saying... um...

Geez, I'm glad I'm semi-anonymous, here. Part 10 is going to be... um...

[Rarity]

Originally Posted by tekuno

Um... well, uh, if that's what you thought I was saying... um...

Geez, I'm glad I'm semi-anonymous, here. Part 10 is going to be... um...

SAD ENDING INCOMING?
HOW ABOUT I SLAP YOUR SHIT?

Nah, just kidding. At this point I'm too invested to stop reading. Though I think I have a very good idea of what's going to happen, considering what the amulet is capable of doing. . . Oh well. I think I misunderstood your post. I thought you were going to do what some other people suggested or something. Either way is fine since it's always up to the writer - as long as the writer has fun that's all that matters.

[tekuno]

Originally Posted by Rarity

SAD ENDING INCOMING?
HOW ABOUT I SLAP YOUR SHIT?

Nah, just kidding. At this point I'm too invested to stop reading. Though I think I have a very good idea of what's going to happen, considering what the amulet is capable of doing. . . Oh well. I think I misunderstood your post. I thought you were going to do what some other people suggested or something. Either way is fine since it's always up to the writer - as long as the writer has fun that's all that matters.

Actually, I had my fun with the other story -- right up until I basically hit writer's block. The next part of THAT story will make some of the people here, who have read my other stories, very happy.

Originally, the idea was that I'd finish both of them and post them both, each in one lump, simultaneously, so that people who can't handle incest could skip the funny story, and people who might object to this one could skip it instead. But I just hit a wall. And I have to admit, I haven't really been able to get back into writing it yet, although I made some progress and I know how the next bit should go. (I just keep sitting down to write and finding any excuse to do something else.)

[renbear]

Originally Posted by tekuno

Um... well, uh, if that's what you thought I was saying... um...

Geez, I'm glad I'm semi-anonymous, here. Part 10 is going to be... um...

Uh-oh. Ugh. Well, I hope there will be sequels.

[muscl4life]

This is not a "fairy tale" kind of story at all. We see a tyrant father training his elder son to rule his people with utmost cruelty, the only spark of decency comes from a slave boy who had been abused ever since the womb to be the perfect servant for the royal heir, one that didn't even deserve the right to a name until his master decided on it.

Let's not forget Andrew himself used the amulet on Simon to force him to overcome hesitation and surrender to the Prince's lust (who seemed to quickly forget all that has been done to Simon).

I am not saying I didn't like the story, quite the contrary. I actually respect you for giving a much darker approach to a tale which could be told in a very simplistic stereotyped way. I don't see fairy tale characters in this story, I see a very spoiled, overgrown muscular Prince.

For that reason, I believe that your ending migth not be a "happily ever after" one, because that would not be coherent to the story purpose. Maybe Andrew and Simon are not meant to be together forever, something really dark might happen, especially if we remember that the King's amulet overrides all the other ones, which is the same to say that Simon can be used to hurt Andrew, my question is who would be the winner in this battle of two muscle lovers? Can love overcome the compulsion of the Spell?

Of course, none of this might actually happen in the story, it's already wirtten so these are all assumptions to serve only to one point: I don't think there will be a happy ending ahead, but I know that will be a GREAT ending whatsoever