Footnotes From The Unauthorized Version - Part 9

[tekuno]

Content warnings and description for this story accompany part 1.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

-----

Okay, here we go. Old familiar faces, or something like that. I hope you're having fun; I am.

-----

Footnotes From The Unauthorized Version
Part 9

"So, our intelligence has been boosted another notch, yes?"

"That would seem to be a fair conclusion."

"What do you think of your artificial intelligence project now?"

"...it's... oh my god... I think... I need to write this down!"

"It can wait until after breakfast."

{ To make a long story short, the next line on the chart in the study ran: Red: Arms: 28" Chest: 63" Waist: 31". For a long time, that's all it said, because at that point, Adrian grabbed Miguel's cock -- which was 14 inches long, by later estimate -- and started sucking, and the measurement session turned into another orgy, which was interrupted by further hunger pangs. }

"Damnit, we didn't even measure you, and if you're as hungry as I am, we're going to be even bigger by the time we finish eating again."

"Maybe we should have stopped a little earlier last night."

"Shut your mouth."

{ After the two split another full tub of protein powder and ate a very large quantity of sandwiches, Adrian looked at Miguel. }

"Did you feel that?"

"Yes. I can tell, we just finished eating all the food which our bodies can turn into more size."

"That's a VERY odd sensation."

"Like the bell on an old-fashioned typewriter, but in your head."

"When did you ever use an old-fashioned typewriter?"

"Okay, then, like the bells on old-fashioned typewriters in movies. Satisfied?"

"Yes. Anyway, very convenient. We know how to start the process, and when it ends. Perhaps we ought to find out a bit more about the biology involved."

"For once I agree. You can work on your AI while I investigate."

"But first--"

"--the measurements."

"I was thinking more of sex."

"We can do both."

{ The video of that particular session is mostly sideways. Adrian was pounding away at Miguel's ass when Miguel was starting the camera, and it tipped over. Even if you, yourself, have superhuman strength, it is extremely difficult to maintain a steady hand when someone else with superhuman strength is fucking you. Especially if you're only marginally interested in what you're doing with that hand. After two hours of nothing but sex in position after position -- Miguel noticed the sideways camera after about 85 minutes -- the brothers were finally calm enough for measurements. }

"All right, Red, let's see how you've grown. Arm... 29 1/2"; Chest... 65 1/2"... stop giggling, or I can't keep going... Waist... 31", Penis... 15 1/4"... Height... 6' 4". Okay, now you measure me."

"Give me the tape, you jackal. Okay. Arm... 29 3/4". It's not fair that you've got bigger arms."

"Well, you have a bigger chest."

"So far, yes. Let's see about now. Chest... 65". Ha! Waist... 30 3/4". Penis... 15 1/2". Dammit, when do I catch up?"

"You're already bigger than about 99% of guys."

"I only care if I'm as big as YOU. Other guys don't matter. Anyway, height... 6' 4". Hey, let go!"

"No. We both got hard from the measurements. We have two and a half feet of cock here, I think we should use it as much as we can."

"Well, if you insist."

{ Sadly, the rest of what remained of the morning was spent on activities other than research. And then the two ate lunch. So it wasn't until nearly 2 in the afternoon that Adrian returned to the lab. Once there, he sat a terminal and began to type. Meanwhile, Miguel arranged the new biology equipment in the laboratory and then began to read anything he could find which seemed relevant. }

{ Such were Adrian's powers of concentration that he worked straight through the dinner hour and on into the night. Miguel came to the door three times, but the first two he was unable to get Adrian to look away from the screen. On the third, however, Adrian was already leaning back in his chair and stretching. }

"Adrian, are you ready for dinner yet?"

"Mmmm? Oh, say, yes, it's very late, isn't it?"

"Yes, I ate an hour ago. Please don't tell me you're going to start skipping meals."

*Click* (( Yeah, Boss, it ain't gonna do nobodys any good if ya start droppin' dead outta hunga. Go takes a break, I'll still be here when yous comes back. )) *Click*

"You keep out of this!"

"Who's that? Did you hire somebody without telling me?"

*Click* (( Nah, don' worry your sweet li'l head on dat score, Mista Brudda A' Da Boss. I'm jus' da Frankenstein monsta. )) *Click*

"That's the AI speaking. Pretty realistic, eh?"

*Click* (( Damn straight! I'm da greates' an mossssszzzzx chchchchchyaaaaaaaaa frrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeep ERROR IN MODULE BROCA.CORE LINE 5622 SYSTEM ERROR CODE 14 SHUTTING DOWN )) *Click*

"Adrian, if that's realism, I don't want to meet any of the people you hang around with."

"Well, obviously, I only meant up until the error."

"It sounds like a cartoon construction worker!"

"So? Why wouldn't it?"

"Why did you choose that voice?"

"I didn't. I set the thing up to watch FooTube videos as fast as they would download and synthesize its own voice. It chose this one."

"And it chose to sound like that?"

"Who knows, maybe if we could choose our own voices from scratch, maybe we'd sound like that, too."

"I very much doubt it. Anyway, it looks like you're at a break point. Why not have some dinner?"

"That sounds good. In fact, I think I'll pack it in for the night. Any progress on figuring out what's happening to us?"

"No. I'm trying to do some research, but I don't think anyone has ever experienced anything like this, so I'm not sure where to begin looking."

"Don't be ridiculous. Every adult male has experienced something like this. We call it puberty."

"Do you think I haven't looked at puberty research, you pigeon?"

{ Miguel grabbed the back of Adrian's head and pulled it -- not entirely against Adrian's will -- to his own body to emphasize his words. }

"Have you ever heard of a boy who grew an arm like this in days? Whose pecs became this thick in days? Whose prick got this large in days? And all well after they had finished puberty, and only in spurts after exposure to a chemical? That isn't puberty. It's something else... Uh, Adrian, you can take your head away from my crotch now."

"That's what YOU think."

"I think our best bet is to very carefully experiment and see what, precisely, triggers growth. Ah, god. It can't just be maple syrup, or we would have gotten bigger during our last year at the orphanage. Fuck, Adrian, oh, oh, fuck! And it can't just be sex, or we'd be the size of King Kong by now-ow-ow-ow-wow. Damn! Maybe I should just stop until you're -- AAAH -- done."

{ This proved to be a bad, if inevitable, policy. After Adrian finished his blow job, he tore Miguel's pants off and plowed his ass on the floor of the lab. Then they adjourned to the bedroom where they continued with similar action for another hour. Finally, though, the fact that Adrian had skipped dinner forced him to call a halt. While he assembled and ate a sandwich, Miguel explained his plan. }

"The trigger has to be some combination of sex and maple syrup. Now, I can't believe we're the first guys ever to use maple syrup as lubricant, even for our range of activities, and it doesn't seem to matter which brand of syrup we use, so it must be something special about us. As a course of action for further research, I propose that we first determine what sort of sexual activity triggers the growth, then try isolating different groups of chemicals in the syrup and seeing which ones trigger the growth, and then once we have both, we can try to figure out what biological processes are influenced by that combination."

"Sounds good. I'll have the computer start monitoring us closely for signs of growth, and research what chemicals are in the syrup."

"That piece of junk?"

"It's not a piece of junk! It's very smart. Almost as smart as we are, and it's only running on twelve CPUs. Once I get the code debugged, I'll be expanding it to 1024 or more."

"Okay, then. Let's see it work."

"Ha, smart guy, just watch."

{ Adrian marched to the lab and pressed a large button on the side of the machine he had been working on. There was a chime, lights came on, and a fan began to hum. After twenty seconds, text began to pour onto the screen, and then the speaker came to life as well. }

*Click* (( Realtime Autonomous Lifelike Personality Host version Zero Point Five One. All rights reserved, More and More Technologies Limited. Booting Core Modules. )) *Click* (( Startin' ups. Da time is now two forty two in da Ei Em. Sorry 'bout dat, Boss. Dere's still bugs crawlin' t'ru da subroutines, I'm guessin'. )) *Click*

"Computer, review the security footage of the kitchen from the last five minutes, infer the instructions I want you to carry out, and set to work."

*Click* (( Rite cha is, Boss. Reviewin' footage. Hmmmm. I'm thinkin' you wants me ta prepare a table fer keepin' track a' what works and what don't, work out a method a' keepin' tabs on yer size wit'out interferin' witcher activities, an' start lookin' online fer da chemicals in maple syrup. 'Zat it? )) *Click*

{ Adrian gave Miguel a smug grin. }

"That's right."

"I'll be damned."

{ Computers, as such, can't snigger. But they can make the appropriate sounds. }

*Click* (( No doubts about dat, Mista Bee Oh Tee Bee. I'm gonna spin dis stuff off onto da dummy t'reads on da main system, Boss, so you can keep workin' on me widdout havin' ta worries 'bout corruptin' da data. )) *Click*

"Good idea."

"Huh?"

"Oh, there's a personality-less version of the AI running on the main system. It's very stable, it can do some basic reasoning, and it understands orders, but it isn't very imaginative and it's a very limited system. But it's been running continuously for the last week without any signs of crashes or corruption, and it maintains basic consciousness -- or whatever -- with only 2% CPU usage, so it's perfect for this kind of task. And meanwhile, like the AI says, I can work on fixing the bugs like the one we heard earlier."

"Adrian, I know all the tests say we're both smart, but sometimes you astonish me."

"Right now, this smart guy wants to hit the sack. Computer, set up the task, and then shut down for the night. I'll sort you out in the morning."

*Click* (( Fair enough, Boss. Pleasant dreamin's, boys. Oh, and Miguel? )) *Click*

"Huh?"

*Click* (( I jus' checked wit' da grocery service. Ya forgots ta put any syrup in fer delivery tomorra, ya joik! Don' worry, I gots it. Dey says da delivery winda is from eleven ei em ta one in da afternoon. Yer welcome. )) *Click*

{ Miguel couldn't think of a comeback, so he just dragged his brother, who was laughing silently, off to bed, leaving the lights on. After a moment: }

*Click* (( Tsk! An' dey sez us machines is wasteful a' energy! Oh, well. I s'pose I gots ta earns my keep somehow. Hrmph! )) *Click*

{ The ceiling lights turned off. }

*Click* (( Dere. My good deed fer da microsecon'. An' da dummy is all set up ta look fer syrup researchin's. Good night, sweet prince... princes... whateva. )) *Click*

{ The lights on the computer went out, there was a click, and the fan spun down. }

Part 10

[muscl4life]

Enlighten me please, pop culture masters. Would that be a "gangsta" AI?

I sure enjoyed the growth, loved the interaction between the bros and especially laughed with their new family member!

Kudos again!

[rododoro3]

I'd love to have that AI in my house.
It's the "Foreign Comic Relief" trope, just a supercomputer.
Considering how common that trope is (name a movie. Almost any movie) I'm not surprised the AI decided to use that voice.
Great work Tek! I'm loving the maple syrup trigger.

[tekuno]

Originally Posted by muscl4life

Enlighten me please, pop culture masters. Would that be a "gangsta" AI?

Nope. Have you read all my other stories here?

[muscl4life]

I have read a few of them, but if it is a self-reference I would like to know more about it, because I certainly didn't get it, sorry

[tekuno]

Originally Posted by muscl4life

I have read a few of them, but if it is a self-reference I would like to know more about it, because I certainly didn't get it, sorry

Explaining a joke kills it.

[muscl4life]

Oh come on, can you at least point me towards the right direction? I think you want all your readers to read more of your previous works huh?

[muscl4life]

Thanks for the feedback, I got the referrence now, it is actually pretty smart of you

(and a tip for those who didn't get it)

[tekuno]

Sorry for not getting another part up tonight -- after taking two extra nights off! -- but I just keep getting hooked on one time-wasting thing after another. (Tonight, I've been reading the manga Again!! -- as far as it has been translated, at least; I hope it doesn't turn into a cliche romantic comedy in volume 4, which it could, because I love the main character's dark, sarcastic outlook and it would be a waste of a really unique original character to have it "cured" -- and Dengeki Daisy, which is hilarious and cute.) (As you may have gathered, I only usually only read and/or watch comedy series.)

I have about half a part's worth completed, but I'm getting tired and probably wouldn't produce a very good other half if I stayed up any later, so I'm just going to put it off one more day. I'll try to write an extra part the next day as penance.