The Gardener (Part 12)

[Reeza]

Author's Note: Here's Part 12! Thanks for sticking with me this far. I hope to keep you engaged for many months to come. Your thanks and comments really mean a lot to me. When I feel stuck, I go back and read them and that usually gets me going again.

I want to warn you that this chapter contains some intense emotional material. If you react to it the way I did when I was writing it, you might not want to read this in a public place. It might not affect you that way, but I felt that I should say this.

Previously on The Gardener . . . Donna kissed Adam and took him out to lunch, Henry wanted to have lunch with Adam, and Sam threatened to eat Adam for dinner. Then they both said the 'L' word.


The Gardener
by Reeza

Parts 1 and 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Part 8 : Part 9 : Part 10 : Part 11

Part 12

When Sam started working at the nursery with Dave, our interactions during the week became more regular. He came home after seven, we ate dinner together, and we had a couple of hours to enjoy each other's company before it was time to sleep. I began to prepare larger amounts of food to make sure Sam felt great after every meal while I watched him closely for signs of growth. We continued to learn more about each other through our conversations and during the gradual development of our physical intimacy. Predictably, there were a few bumps in the road.

I spent a lot of time thinking about Sam's body and what I would like to do with it. And who wouldn't? The man was a living, breathing, dream come true. But a lifetime of masturbation over two-dimensional images and vaporous fantasies didn't quite prepare me for a real-life relationship. The pictures and videos didn't talk to me or have feelings or want anything from me, but Sam did. And the thing he wanted most was me. What the hell was he thinking?

On a warm evening early in June, I cooked one of Sam's favorite meals - meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy. After eating an unprecedented amount of food, he stood up from the dining room table and showed me the slightly convex curve of his remarkably tight abdomen. I playfully patted it and rubbed it like some men stroke the bellies of their pregnant wives. In his postprandial state of bliss, Sam pulled off his shirt to reveal the rest of his well-nourished torso. He lured me into the living room with kisses and effortlessly wrestled me to the floor in the middle of the oriental rug, where he stretched out on his back.

I reclined next to him with one hand on his chest, feeling the thickness of his pectoral muscles and petting the fine hair that enhanced them. "You look . . . hunkier. Do you think you're a little bigger again?"

"Mmmm . . . I feel so good right now I'll agree with anything you say."

I lightly tickled one of his nipples and watched it rise and harden. "Then you'll agree that I'm always right about everything?"

He smiled. "I'm not that far gone." He rolled onto his side, pushing me onto my back. "But you're awfully sexy, even when you're wrong." He started kissing me, first on my forehead, then down the side of my face and neck to my collarbone. "Take off your shirt so I can kiss more of you."

"Oh, you don't wanna do that." I tried to distract him by tickling his other nipple.

He stopped kissing me. "Um . . . I'm pretty sure I do wanna do that. I've been wanting to do that for a long time now."

"We should probably get the dishes done." I tried to sit up but he put his hand in the middle of my chest and gently pushed me back down.

"Adam . . ." He looked me right in the eyes. "What are you worried about?"

"I'm not worried." I was worried. "I just think it's nice to get the dishes done first before we get too comfortable. Unf!" I tried to sit up again, but he kept me pinned to the floor without even pressing on my chest. I found this both frustrating and arousing. "You like doing dishes with me, right?"

"This isn't about the dishes." He continued to drill into my head with those green lasers.

"Wha . . . you always think there's some . . . hidden . . . reason . . . okay, fine! I'm not comfortable with my body, and I would rather just get comfortable with your body first and then we can think about what we're gonna do with that other thing."

"What other thing?"

"The . . . the . . . me part of the thing. My . . . y'know. Me."

"Is it this part?" he asked as he placed the tip of his finger at the top of my chest and played with the hair that grew there.

"Well that part's okay, but . . ."

"You feel warm. Lemme just open this one button to give you a little more air." He undid the button, folding back the placket of my shirt, revealing more of my breast bone, leaning down to nuzzle my chest. "Mmm, you smell good, Adam."

"I probably dripped gravy on myself."

"Lemme check." He licked my breast bone with his wide, wet tongue.

"Oh my . . . there's no need for that." But it felt so good.

"I don't taste gravy, but there's something . . . there . . ."

"What?"

"I can't quite see it." He undid another button and slid his hand under my shirt.

"Ahh! I know what you're doing!"

"I'm looking for something." He rubbed my chest with his open hand then probed me with his finger tips until he found a nipple and . . .

"Ow!" He pinched it. "Don't do that! You're making my . . ."

"What is that?"

"You know perfectly well what it . . . Ow! I told you not to . . ."

"Is it a growth? Like a tumor?"

"Oh, very funny! That's a good thing to joke about."

"I'm just concerned about your health, and I think there's another one over here . . ."

"Ow! Hey! You're making my penis hurt!" I sounded like a twelve-year-old.

"Really?" He looked down at the tent in my shorts. "Are these the knobs that control your boner?" He was relentless.

I wanted to smack him, or kiss him, but his hand was still on my chest, so I reached over and grabbed one of his nipples and twisted it. "There! How do you like it?!" He winced and sucked air through his teeth, so I let go.

"That felt good. Can you do the other one?" He smirked.

"No. I refuse." He was really turning my crank, but I wasn't ready to cooperate. Fortunately, Sam had figured out my 'I'm saying one thing but I want something else' brand of fuckedupness. Is that a word?

"Okay, back to you, then." He slung one leg over me and pushed himself up so he was straddling my body. Even on his knees he looked very tall. "Unh . . . I feel so good after that meal!" He stretched his arms above his head for a moment, then rubbed his hands over his torso, pumping more blood into my erection.

"You're definitely a little bigger . . . I can see it."

"You think?" He flexed one arm and felt the biceps with his other hand. "Yeah, you might be right." I wanted to do what he was doing, so I tried to sit up and get my hands on him, but he put a finger on my sternum and pushed me back to the floor. "No . . . you stay there."

"Hey!"

"Hey, what?" He put his hands on his hips and looked down on me with a defiant little smile. "I let you touch me all the time, but you don't even wanna take your shirt off for me."

"Well . . . but . . . look at you! Why can't we just focus on you? I mean . . . holy shit, look at you!"

"What kind of relationship would that be?"

"Umm . . . comfortable? I would be happy to worship your body for the rest of my life." I meant that.

A look of disgust contorted his face. "Eew! Worship? What are you . . . that's like . . . blasphemy or something! You can't say that."

Really? I guess there was still enough religion in him to make that unpalatable, but it sounded right to me while I was looking at him.

He continued. "Maybe it's a mistake for me to look like this if you aren't gonna feel comfortable with a two-way relationship. I could starve myself back to the way I was if that's what it takes to make you . . ."

"All right, all right! No more crazy talk. Whataya want from me?"

He bent over and put his hands on the floor so he was looking straight down into my face. He answered me very precisely. "I wanna touch the same parts of your body that you touch on me. That's the new rule."

"But . . ."

"Adam!"

I took a deep breath and let out a dramatic sigh, rolling my eyes as if I were being treated unfairly. Honestly, looking back on it now, I wonder why he put up with me. I conceded. "All right."

"That's a good boy." He dipped his head down and kissed me on the mouth - a nice slow one, with tongue.

When he was done with that I continued to resist. "I suppose you wanna do this now. We couldn't wait until next week, or something?"

"No." He sat up, ran his fingertips down the center of my chest, and undid two more buttons on my shirt. "I don't know why you're being so shy about this. I've already seen you with your shirt off."

"Yeah, but I look better from a distance."

"I disagree." He used both of his large hands to caress my rib cage. I felt like a small bird, especially because I was looking at his broad chest. He lightly tickled my nipples, as I had done to him. "Okay, let's get this shirt off." He undid the last two buttons. "Sit up."

I did as I was told. "You're kind of bossy today." I actually liked him that way, but I wasn't going to tell him.

One side of his mouth curled up. "Well, when you act like a cranky child . . . sometimes I can't believe you're twelve years older than me."

"Oh, thanks! This is a great time to remind me of my age."

"Quit whining and get your arm out of that sleeve. Seriously! You'd think I was torturing you." He tossed my shirt aside and before I could continue complaining, he slipped his tongue in my mouth and eased me back onto the carpet. We kissed for a while until he could feel me relaxing under him, then he lowered himself to the floor, lying on his side next to me, but with one of his legs across mine and his hand on my chest, presumably to keep me from escaping. He smiled.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now I get to look at my hot boyfriend and grope his hot body."

"Yeah? When is he getting here?"

"Pfft!" He shook his head. "Do you think I couldn't have had someone else if I wanted to?"

I was silent. It was unusual for him to acknowledge the options afforded to him by his looks.

He started moving his hand slowly up and down, back and forth, feeling my skin, my flesh, my bones. I wanted to tell him to stay away from certain things, but I knew it was pointless. The tension in my body increased when he was touching something I didn't feel good about - the loose spots, the thin parts, the flaws. This was particularly true around my belly, where I felt soft and vulnerable. He was very gentle. He spoke to me quietly. "I love your body, Adam. I love the shape of it, and the size of it. I like where the hair is, and where it's not."

I had to differ. "I should work out more. I feel scrawny." Especially with him next to me.

"You're beautiful. I'm not attracted to those guys who look like they spend half their lives in the gym. You look like the men I liked when I was growing up." He started kissing random spots on my torso while he talked. "They'd work all day on their farms, doing all kinds of hard physical labor, and they never looked like those bodybuilders at the health club. Their bodies were just strong and efficient and really masculine."

He reminded me of something. "My Dad looked like that, even though he worked in an office most of his life."

"If you look anything like him, I bet he was a real DILF."

I snickered quietly. The thought of someone wanting to fuck my Dad was . . . well, actually . . . never mind.

He kept talking. "And those guys didn't live on egg white omelets and tuna - they ate like farmers and burned it off with real work. They would never call it 'exercise' or 'working out' - it was just work." He was fingering the outlines of my ribs.

"Didn't they get fat eventually?" Of course I would think of that.

"Some did, as they got older. You could always tell when young farmers married women who really knew how to cook. They would start to get softer around the waist, and they weren't ashamed of it. People would say things like, 'Hank, it looks like marriage agrees with you!' and Hank would smile and rub his little belly and say, 'Yeah, she takes real good care of me!' And you knew he wasn't just talking about her cooking." Sam smiled. "Those farmers are pretty hot."

"Yes, I noticed." But I was glad my young farmer wasn't getting fat.

"Now I prefer accountants." He kissed my shoulder and my upper arm. I was very aware that his arms looked twice as thick as mine, maybe more, but I didn't say anything. I just tried to relax and let him do his thing. He got up on his knees again, straddling my legs and looking at me like I was a table full of food, then reached down, carefully laid both of his hands on the soft flesh around my waist and said, "I like this."

I didn't like it. It triggered something in me . . . a deep vulnerability that no one ever saw. "I know I have a spare tire, but I've been running every day, and I lost a few pounds . . ."

"Adam?"

"I just need to lay off that ice cream, and the wine, and . . .'

"Adam, did you hear me?"

"What?" My heart was beating too fast, like I was frightened.

"I said I like it. I like this little soft part around your waist."

"Well, you shouldn't. It's bad. It's bad for my health." My anxiety was rising.

"It's normal. It's not a spare tire and you're not overweight. I can see your ribs." He leaned on his elbows to kiss a spot just below my belly button.

He wasn't doing anything that I hadn't done to him, but I was discovering why I had put him off for so long. A cloud of confusing emotions and irrational fears came swarming out of their hive. My body yielded too easily to the pressure of his lips as they traveled across my abdomen, leaving wet tracks and goosebumps. I wove my fingers into his hair. "Please don't do that. Why are you doing that?"

"Because you're beautiful, and sexy, and I love you, and I want you . . ."

I felt like crying, but didn't know why. "I'm not! I'm not beautiful! Can't you see that?"

"My eyesight is fine, thank you." He kissed the soft bulge at the side of my waist.

I was irritated, so I pulled his hair. "Don't! I don't like that, I don't like the way it looks."

He looked up at me. "I think it's sexy."

That just made me angry. "You're wrong! You're fucked up!"

"Maybe I am, but this is what I like." He hesitated for a moment, confused by my hostile tone, then lowered his head and started licking the patch of hair between the top of my shorts and my navel.

It felt so good that I drew a jagged breath, let go of his hair and grabbed my own. My eyes filled with tears and I was hit with a wave of guilt. I wanted to keep it inside, but I spit it out in a strange, bitter way. "You're such a fool!" I growled. "You could have done so much better than me. What the hell is wrong with you?"

He didn't look up, but his frustration was apparent when he sighed and rested his forehead on my sternum. "I got exactly who I wanted, Adam. I wanted you."

I almost pulled my hair out because I knew I was ruining everything. I started whimpering. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm so stupid."

This was when Sam realized I wasn't just being difficult. He sat up and looked at me. As soon as he saw my expression he scrambled to my side and put his hand on my face. "What's wrong, Adam?"

"I don't know. I'm ruining it. I should be happy, but I'm gonna ruin it."

"Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, you're not ruining anything. What happened? Was I going too fast?"

I didn't want to say what I was about to say. It was irrational and desperate, but I couldn't stop it. "Please don't leave me, Sam! Please!"

"What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you. I just got here. I love you."

"I know!" I grabbed my hair again. "I know you do, but why? It doesn't make any sense!" I didn't want to say that either.

He was confused. "It doesn't have to make sense. I love you, and that's all there is to it."

"But you know what I'm like. It's just a matter of time . . ."

"No."

"I'll hurt you, I know I will!"

"I'll take my chances."

"I'll disappoint you."

"No, you won't."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"I'll disappoint you, and you'll leave me."

"I won't leave you." He just refused to give in.

The pain was terrible - I've never felt anything like it. If he had been weaker, if he were more easily frustrated, if he could have given up on me, I wouldn't have had to say it. But I did. It came out of me in a tortured voice I had never heard before: "Everybody leaves me!"

And there it was. The irrational foundation for my fear and loneliness. I knew who I was talking about as soon as I said it, but Sam was one step behind me.

"Who left you, Adam?"

"They did! My parents!"

"They didn't leave you . . . it was an accident . . . they died."

"I know, but . . . people kept telling me, 'God has a plan' and . . . 'Everything happens for a reason.'"

"No . . . not everything."

"What if they were right?"

"You don't believe that. It was just an accident."

"They could have been happier! I could have been . . ."

"It had nothing to do with you."

"They could have had grandchildren if I had been normal!"

"Oh, God, don't do this Adam."

"They had to be disappointed . . . I was so fucking weird . . . I didn't even have friends!"

"Stop! Please." There were tears in his eyes.

I struggled to contain the next irrational question that entered my head, but it hurt too much to keep it in. "Are you my friend?" I cringed at the sound of my pathetic insecurity and squeezed all the tears out of my eyes. I thought this would be the moment when he would realize he had to get away from me. He should go. I'm too needy. I'll just drag him down.

But he cradled my head in his arm and hugged me against his body. With his lips close to my ear he said, "Yes, I'm your friend. And I won't leave you. I promise I won't leave you. I won't leave you. I won't leave you. I won't leave you." He kept repeating it until I stopped crying and was breathing normally. He was petting my chest with his hand, and the house was quiet.

"I'm sorry I ruined this for you."

He kissed my temple. "You didn't ruin anything. I got to second base."

I was quiet for a minute. "I'm fucked up, Sam."

"No you're not. You just miss them."

"I think it's more than that."

"Hmm. Maybe." His finger traced a circle on my chest. "I'm sorry I pinched your nipples."

"It's okay. I liked it."

"That's not what you said."

"You know half the things I say to you are lies, right?"

"Umm, I don't think it's half . . . maybe a quarter. Besides, I don't think of them as lies. You just have a . . . creative way of expressing yourself."

I shook my head. "You're so full of shit."

He kissed the side of my neck. "You're gonna see your doctor tomorrow for those tests, right?"

"Yeah, during my lunch hour."

"Could you do me a favor?" He kissed my neck again.

"Another one? Yeah, sure."

"Could you ask him about your weight?" He was kissing my shoulder now. "Ask him if he wants you to lose any more weight." He tightened his arm around me.

I hesitated before answering, but there was only one thing to say. "Okay."

"Thanks."

"It's getting late. We should do the dishes." I tried to lift his arm off my chest, but it didn't budge until he chose to move it. I sat up and reached for my shirt.

"No, I'll do the dishes tonight. You should go to bed." He stood up and walked to the dining room.

"Why?"

"Because you're tired, and you did all the cooking, and my tummy is very grateful." He patted his belly like a bongo drum. "I think I am a little bigger. I feel bigger." He put on his shirt and smoothed it over his torso. It was tight.

"I can help with dishes. I'm not that tired."

"You look really tired, but I'll tell you what . . . I'll allow you to help with the dishes if you let me stay with you tonight."

"You'll allow me to help? Wait, what was that other part?"

He looked at me for a minute before he spoke. "I think . . . I need to. I don't want to be alone."

I was beginning to think Sam had a creative way of expressing himself, too. "Well, if you need it. Okay."

"I can sleep on the floor next to the bed."

"You're not sleeping on the floor."

"Then I'll sleep on top of the covers."

"No."

"Okay, we'll figure it out later. Let's do the dishes."

After the dishes were dried and put away and the lights were turned off, Sam followed me up the stairs. He stood in the bathroom doorway and watched me brush my teeth, then I offered him my toothbrush so he could do the same while I went and changed into a t-shirt and boxer shorts. When I turned down the covers on the bed, he entered the room hesitantly and waited for me to get settled. The bed was large, but I always slept on the side closest to the door, and when I was under the covers I looked at him, standing on the other side of the bed, still in his clothes.

"Are you gonna sleep in your shorts?"

"No, in my t-shirt and underwear. I'm waiting for you to turn out the light."

I rolled onto my side and switched off the bedside lamp. When the room was dark I heard him take off his shorts and set them on a chair. He carefully slipped under the covers. I felt the warmth of his body despite the distance between us, and for a few minutes I listened to the sounds the house makes when it settles down for the night.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you put your arm around me like you had it before?"

"Sure." He moved closer, draped his arm over my side and spread his big hand over my chest. "How's that?"

His body warmed my back. "That's good." The tip of his nose touched my neck. "That feels good."

I fell asleep listening to him breathe.

***

I woke to the sound of my alarm clock and immediately felt my chest as though something was missing. I turned over to see that Sam was gone. On the part of the bed where he slept there was a plate holding a big powdery doughnut and a small note. I sat up and read the note: "Eat this. I love you!" I heard my old pickup truck starting and backing out of the driveway as Sam left for work.

I couldn't remember the last time I ate a doughnut, but I propped myself against the headboard and examined the mysterious pastry. It was a heavy bismarck with something like chocolate frosting sticking out of one end. I bit into it, getting powdered sugar on my nose and down the front of my t-shirt. The filling that oozed out of it was so sweet it should have had a warning label, but I liked it. I automatically put my hand on my belly to remind myself why I shouldn't be eating this delicious thing, then thought about what had happened the night before. I pulled up the hem of my shirt to look at the offensive softness around my waist. I can't believe he likes that. I took another bite of the bismarck and fingered the patch of hair below my navel where Sam's tongue had been.

I wondered what I would say to my doctor when I saw him. It was bad enough that I would have to talk to him about gay sex and STDs, but he would probably scold me about the weight I lost after he told me to gain a few pounds. I would also have to admit that I never went to the psychologist he strongly urged me to see more than a year ago. I was not looking forward to this appointment. When I picked up the bismarck to finish it off, a blob of chocolate cream dropped right into my belly button. I stared at it and felt myself smiling. If Sam were here he would be all over that.

***

I had a hard time concentrating at work that morning because I was rehearsing the conversation I would have with Dr. Rubin. Every script I wrote for myself ended with him yelling at me, even though he hadn't ever yelled at me since I started seeing him about ten years before. There's always a first time! Before I knew it, the dreaded hour arrived when I needed to leave for the appointment. Just as I left my office, I heard someone call my name.

"Hey, Adam! Are you heading out for lunch?"

I turned around to see Henry trotting towards me, as sleek as a greyhound. Crap! "Oh, hey, um . . . no, actually I have a doctor's appointment I need to get to."

His teeth looked even whiter against his suntanned face. "Is everything okay? You look great!"

Resist the gibberish! "Herf!" Not bad. "No, it's just my annual check-up. I'm fine."

He stood a little too close to me. "I was hoping we could grab that lunch we talked about."

"Oh, yeah . . . sorry, today's not good." I took a step away from him.

He took a step forward and smiled. "I'm starting to think you're avoiding me."

"No! Why would I do that? I'll definitely get back to you, but I've gotta get going . . . "

"How about Friday? Are you available?"

"Uh . . . yeah, sure. Why not? Let's do it." Fuck!

"Great! It's a date, then."

"Umm . . ."

"I think I'll just skip lunch today and go do some cardio at the gym."

Are you fucking kidding me? "Well, enjoy that. I'll see you later." I quickly escaped.

"See you Friday."

Dammit!

The nurse at Dr. Rubin's office took my vital signs and weighed me before ushering me into an exam room. I had lost six pounds since my last visit, more than I thought. When Rubin came in he was pleasant, as always, making small talk before getting down to business.

"So, the last time we met you told me you weren't sexually active, but I understand you'd like to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Have you been sexually active?"

"No, but I'm planning to be."

"Okay, but you can't catch anything from thinking about it, so . . . "

"The guy I'm seeing thought we should both get tested before we, uh, y'know . . . "

"Have sexual intercourse? Well, he sounds like a smart guy. I wish more of my patients were that careful. Has he been tested recently?"

"Yes. He's fine."

"Did he show you the results?"

"Yes, I saw them. He's fine."

"Good. Was he tested for HIV, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea . . ."

"Yes, everything. He's fine."

"And I assume you want all the same tests."

"Yes. Everything."

"Okay. Let's have you strip down to your underwear and hop up on the table so I can examine you." I always hated this part. "Have you been under any unusual stress lately?"

"Umm . . . I don't know . . . I don't think so. Well . . . I guess it depends . . . "

"Lie down, please. You seem uncertain. Have you been seeing the psychologist I recommended?"

"Uh, I . . . I think I lost his card."

"Does this hurt?"

"No."

"Sit up, please. You could have called the office to get his name again."

"I've been meaning to, but I was really busy."

"Really? Take a deep breath for me, please. Again . . . again . . . again . . . okay."

"I'd like to get his name again, and I promise I'll . . . "

"I see that you've lost weight. Do you remember what I told you last time?"

"Yes."

"Stand up, please, and pull down your shorts. What did I say last time?"

"That I should gain a few pounds."

"Five pounds. Just relax, I'm going to examine your genitals. Five pounds, I said. Do you know how many of my patients would love to hear me say that?"

"Yes."

"Turn your head and cough, please." Cough! "Again, please." Cough! "Okay, keep your shorts off but lie down again, please. Are you vomiting after meals?"

"No, I don't do that."

"What have you eaten so far today?"

"A doughnut. A big one."

"Anything else?"

"Coffee?"

"Coffee. Are you planning to have lunch today?"

"This is my lunch hour, so I won't be able . . . "

"No lunch. Okay, I'm going to do what's called a urethral swab as part of the STD testing. Try to relax."

"Wait, you're not gonna put that in my . . . ah, ah, ah!"

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"I didn't like it . . ."

"Just two more. Hold still."

"What?! Ah! Ah! There's gotta be a better way to . . . "

"Hold still."

"Ah! Urrrr . . . please tell me you're done."

"You can get dressed."

"Jeez! You'd think by now they would have come up with a more comfortable way to do that."

"Actually, there is. I could have just had you pee in a cup."

"Well, why didn't you say so?!"

"I prefer to do it that way with guys who don't follow my recommendations."

"Wha! That's . . . are you allowed to . . . "

"I just did. Have a seat." He scribbled some notes in my chart while I finished dressing. "I'm going to have them take blood and urine samples from you before you go. In addition to the STD testing I'm going to make sure your electrolytes aren't out of whack, your liver, kidney and thyroid functioning . . . are you having trouble sleeping?"

"No."

"Okay." He wheeled his stool over to where I was sitting. "Look at me." I looked at him. "Are you okay?" He looked concerned.

"I think . . . in some ways, I'm better . . . I mean, this guy I'm with . . . he's really nice and he takes care of me . . . but it's bringing up some other things . . . weird stuff . . . I should have seen the guy you recommended. I know I need to see someone."

"They'll give you his card at the desk. He's good, I've seen him myself. Do you want me to prescribe something for depression?"

"No, I don't want to gain . . . " I didn't bother finishing that thought.

"You have to promise me you'll see this guy."

"I promise."

"And I want you to gain ten pounds before I see you again. Does your boyfriend have trouble eating?"

"Uh, no. He doesn't."

"Good. You'll get a copy of your test results in about a week, but I want you back here in three months. Not a year . . . three months. Is that clear?"

"Yes."

"I know where you live."

"I . . . really? Can you . . . ?"

"Don't test me. Schedule it before you leave here, and pick up something for lunch on your way back to the office. Any other questions?"

"No. That's it."

"Always a pleasure to see you, Adam. I'll send someone in to take your blood."

"Thank you."

"Enjoy your lunch." He closed the door.

That wasn't as bad as I expected.

***

That evening, when Sam came in the back door after work, I greeted him at the door with a hug. He liked it. "Nice!" he said. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Just being you." I tilted my head up to kiss him, standing on my toes, stretching, but not quite meeting his lips. "Are you taller again?"

"I don't know. I might be." He leaned down to connect with my mouth. A few minutes later he said, "It's a good thing I get to wear shorts to work now. I won't have to keep buying new pants."

"I have some crackers and cheese for you. I thought you might be hungry." I pointed at the kitchen table where I set out a plate full of crackers with squiggles of cheese on them and a glass of iced tea.

"Wow, is that spray cheese? I love spray cheese!"

"I had a feeling you would."

"This is so nice. Are you gonna have some?" He sat down at the table.

"I already had some. Those are yours."

"Have another one. C'mon."

"I already had some. I can't eat as much as you do."

"Well, I'm not very hungry either. I think I'll pass."

I was annoyed, but I knew why he was doing this. "Fine, I'll have another one." I took a cracker off the plate and shoved it in my mouth, whole.

"It's good, isn't it?"

I responded with my mouth full. "Yeah, I know! I already had some!"

"Then why are you eating mine?" His eyes twinkled. "You're so rude." He popped one in his mouth and smiled.

I glared at him. He really had a gift for being adorably annoying. It made my groin tingle.

He continued eating. "How was your day at the office?"

"Fine. How are things at Dave's?" I continued to prepare dinner.

"Busy, but I really like it. Dave asked why you haven't been there lately."

"I don't really need anything."

"You don't have to buy anything. You can just visit."

"I know. Thanks for the doughnut, by the way, it was delicious. I never had one of those before."

"Those are my favorite. How did things go with your doctor today? Did you get your tests done?"

"Yeah. Hey, when you had yours done, did they stick a swab in your penis?"

"No! They just took blood and a urine sample. Did your doctor do that?"

"Yeah." I guess Rubin wasn't kidding. "He's very thorough."

Sam had eaten all the crackers on the plate and was looking in the refrigerator. "Do you like him?"

"He's good. He knows how to motivate me, and he cares." Sam found the can of cheese, stuck the nozzle in his open mouth and sprayed. "We have more crackers, y'know."

"Eye wrow. I wrike id dis wray." He closed his mouth and savored the high fat, high sodium goo until it oozed down his throat. "Did you ask him about your weight?"

"He brought it up."

"And?"

I muttered something unintelligible.

"What was that?"

"He wants me to gain ten pounds."

"Oh my God, that's awesome!" He came up behind me and wound his arms around my body. "I can feed you ice cream every night, and we can eat more pizza . . ." He started kissing me behind one ear. ". . . and we can lift weights together . . ."

"You knew he was gonna say that, didn't you?"

"You're gonna get so sexy I won't let you wear clothes in the house anymore."

"You knew, right?"

"So when do you get your test results?"

"In about a week. You're not answering my question."

"What question? What are we having tonight? It smells wonderful. Or is that you?"

"You're . . . annoying, do you know that?"

"Yes, I do. So what's for dinner?"

*****

Continued in: Part 13

[Eliswansigurado]

Can't wait for part thirteen.

[Hanugumo]

Is it just me or are these chapters getting funnier? XD

I so love this story so far. Though I do wonder what that little gain of 10 pounds will do to their relationship and all. And if Adam will be getting big muscular and yet a bit on the hefty side (layer of fat over them muscles) in future instalments. And how big Sam will be growing.

How big IS Sam right now actually?

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by Hanugumo

Is it just me or are these chapters getting funnier? XD

I so love this story so far. Though I do wonder what that little gain of 10 pounds will do to their relationship and all. And if Adam will be getting big muscular and yet a bit on the hefty side (layer of fat over them muscles) in future instalments. And how big Sam will be growing.

How big IS Sam right now actually?

As far as I know, Adam won't be getting big and muscular. Right now he's underweight, and that's why his doctor wants him to gain 10lbs. Sam is encouraging the weight gain for health reasons, not because he wants Adam to be more muscular. He really, really likes Adam's body. Seriously. And Adam likes being smaller than Sam.

Sam was 6 foot 4 the last time he measured, so now he's probably a little taller than that. Apart from his height, I won't be discussing specific measurements. I prefer to let people picture whatever works for them. If you want to think in terms of pounds and inches, go for it. Even if I wanted to measure him, he wouldn't let me. He doesn't see the point because he's not competing with anyone.

[makurra]

Thanks Reeza for another moment of bliss!!! I'm loving this storie!!

[xmrr20a]

Another chapter worth waiting for. Thank you - you are bringing a lot of contentment to my life - I simply love reading this story. Thank you for taking the time to do such a great job. With a talent like yours, you really should consider doing something professionally.

[Mdlftr]

This story has some of the most on-point, universal, language discussing loss and desire that I have EVER read! This section is a particular favorite:

=============

"I'll disappoint you."

"No, you won't."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"I'll disappoint you, and you'll leave me."

"I won't leave you." He just refused to give in.

The pain was terrible - I've never felt anything like it. If he had been weaker, if he were more easily frustrated, if he could have given up on me, I wouldn't have had to say it. But I did. It came out of me in a tortured voice I had never heard before: "Everybody leaves me!"

And there it was. The irrational foundation for my fear and loneliness. I knew who I was talking about as soon as I said it, but Sam was one step behind me.

"Who left you, Adam?"

"They did! My parents!"

"They didn't leave you . . . it was an accident . . . they died."

"I know, but . . . people kept telling me, 'God has a plan' and . . . 'Everything happens for a reason.'"

"No . . . not everything."

"What if they were right?"

"You don't believe that. It was just an accident."

"They could have been happier! I could have been . . ."

"It had nothing to do with you."

"They could have had grandchildren if I had been normal!"

"Oh, God, don't do this Adam."

"They had to be disappointed . . . I was so fucking weird . . . I didn't even have friends!"

"Stop! Please." There were tears in his eyes.

I struggled to contain the next irrational question that entered my head, but it hurt too much to keep it in. "Are you my friend?" I cringed at the sound of my pathetic insecurity and squeezed all the tears out of my eyes. I thought this would be the moment when he would realize he had to get away from me. He should go. I'm too needy. I'll just drag him down.

But he cradled my head in his arm and hugged me against his body. With his lips close to my ear he said, "Yes, I'm your friend. And I won't leave you. I promise I won't leave you. I won't leave you. I won't leave you. I won't leave you." He kept repeating it until I stopped crying and was breathing normally. He was petting my chest with his hand, and the house was quiet.

"I'm sorry I ruined this for you."

He kissed my temple. "You didn't ruin anything. I got to second base."

I was quiet for a minute. "I'm fucked up, Sam."

"No you're not. You just miss them."

===================

Amazing writing Reeza! Thank you for this!

Mdlftr

[weaknobody]

Damn, Sam is getting a first class ticket straight to heaven... I mean, I get it... Adam's got issues. He's such a crying baby sometimes though! And the better it gets, the worse is Adam's reaction. There is Sam, big guy with this hot hint of getting bigger (and taller, wow), touching his bicep, acting hot and being cocky - everything Adam wanted, and our man panics again.

Damn, Reeza, stop being so good and making me care about them!!! lol

And hey, we'll wait (and I think I speak for the majority here) as long as you want us to wait. We're hooked on those two...

Thank you again for sharing your talent. More than worth the wait. =)

[flamedelft]

Ah, this emotional roller coaster is much better than sleep.
Have you thought about having it (and stories after) published?

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by flamedelft

Have you thought about having it (and stories after) published?

No, not really. I just think about what I want to happen in the next chapter. That takes enough mental energy.

[rairf]

Originally Posted by Hanugumo

Is it just me or are these chapters getting funnier? XD

It's not just you. Adam is coming out of his shell- even in his own internal monologue, which seems to make everything funnier. Add that to the huge emotional milestones he's experiencing and you've got a story that had how many readers swearing at GoDaddy this weekend for not being able to log on to read!

[umlerian49]

This story is just so adorably annoying.

[xmrr20a]

This is such a wonderful story, and as I've said here many times before, something I look forward to reading; I check back here almost every day to see if there's another chapter. I do not want to interrupt your creative process, but.... in the next chapter, would it be possible to add a strength scene? It's been hinted at a lot - the handshake, moving the weights, knowing the radiator is still in the basement, etc. I am so wound up waiting for Sam to do something amazing. Any 'release' you could help with would really be appreciated.

[mlbjock]

Originally Posted by umlerian49

This story is just so adorably annoying.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by xmrr20a

I do not want to interrupt your creative process, but.... in the next chapter, would it be possible to add a strength scene? It's been hinted at a lot - the handshake, moving the weights, knowing the radiator is still in the basement, etc. I am so wound up waiting for Sam to do something amazing. Any 'release' you could help with would really be appreciated.

There will be something that might help with such a 'release.'

[nicebuns]

I don't usually post much but I just had to say this is the most unrealistic thing I've read in a long time. Muscle guys just don't go for skinny guys. You have to be big to attract big.

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by nicebuns

I don't usually post much but I just had to say this is the most unrealistic thing I've read in a long time. Muscle guys just don't go for skinny guys. You have to be big to attract big.

Jumping in here, have you read this story since the beginning? That is, have you read ALL the chapters, including where Sam (the muscle guy) started off as a semi-regular college student? He doesn't start off as a muscle man in this story.

Also, to be mercenary, the narrator has a big house with extra rooms for Sam to sleep in. A cheap place to live for an impoverished college student is very attractive.

Of course, the whole point of the story is the growing attraction between the two of them and how it develops.
Did you read all of the chapters describing that?
and
Did you STILL find it "unbelievable"?

If so, then that's a first!

Mdlftr

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by nicebuns

I don't usually post much but I just had to say this is the most unrealistic thing I've read in a long time. Muscle guys just don't go for skinny guys. You have to be big to attract big.

It's a good thing I'm balancing this out with the very realistic ability to grow taller and more muscular by eating doughnuts and ice cream!

[HugestFuckGod]

Wow! I think we need to have a count down clock to the big day when the test results arrive (you better not give Adam any STD...*glares threateningly*)

I was wondering, what was your initial inspiration for this story?

and as all ways... looooove the story! CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

Ps: I like how you are said that you would not be able to give measurements because he would not want to, this is proof that you aren't writing your story....







...because your characters have come to life and tell you what to wright ;p

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by HugestFuckGod

I was wondering, what was your initial inspiration for this story?

I have an apartment on the upper floor of my house that I rent out. I have often fantasized about what it would be like to have a hot young muscle guy as a tenant. That was the initial inspiration.

Before you ask . . . no, I have not had such a tenant. Yet.

[Machiavellian]

My first reaction to the server crash: OH NO! I can't read the Gardner! What if there is an update?!

[Eliswansigurado]

Oh man I hope this story isn't done for!

[henhu]

I'm a patient guy, really I am. I hope you are well and am hoping that you are still intending to continue your writing of The Gardener. I've enjoyed it immensely and find myself eagerly waiting for more, i.e., patiently waiting . -- Giant Hen

[Reeza]

Originally Posted by henhu

I'm a patient guy, really I am. I hope you are well and am hoping that you are still intending to continue your writing of The Gardener. I've enjoyed it immensely and find myself eagerly waiting for more, i.e., patiently waiting . -- Giant Hen

Thanks for asking!

Yes, of course I'm continuing the story. I'm working on it right now, but I won't be able to post the next part until later in the week depending on how much time I have for writing. I was out of town last weekend and I have a couple of events to attend this week. It's very un-Adamlike of me to have so many social commitments. I hope it doesn't continue. I have to work on being more repellant.

[flamedelft]

the next part until later in the week

A new part later in the week! happyghost.jpeg