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  #1   Add to Theone1's Reputation   Report Post  
Old January 18th, 2014, 10:36 PM
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Ben's Growth Fantasia

This is my first attempt at a story, sorry for the lack of cocks, but I'm not. There's too many stories that focus too vividly on dick and gay sex, so I threw in a little wrestling.

Thanks~


There he sat, on the couch a boy 16 years in age, six foot in height. He wore pajamas sitting home alone on his laptop, a large green shirt hiding a modest physique. His chest decently defined from a good few years of push ups, a faint four pack visible after much determination after escaping his flabby youth.

He logged onto his favorite site, a dark one of a discreet pleasure fantasizing about becoming a muscle god, dreaming to become one of the largest men on the face of the planet. He had logged onto this very site an innumerable amount of times, but the moment he pressed Enter, a strange feeling arose within him, a sort of radiation felt all over.

He eagerly decided to post a story of his own devise, one he developed on the fly as an erotic energy materialized from the strange feeling. He began to write, typing furiously and blindly about the ideas of growing, becoming stronger and achieving impossible feats of strength.

In his craft he talked of himself, ingesting a collection of red pills he had gotten from his druggie best friend: Eric, a seventeen year old, who stood short and small at 5' 8" but had an abnormal amount of strength. He wholeheartedly swallowed the pills, and the transformation had begun.

In his story, a sudden glow came from deep within him, a dim shine that he saw when he turned off the lights in the bathroom, where we flexed his small, fleshy muscles. A sudden cringe came across him, and a dense feeling began to accrue over every inch of his body, and in the real world, Ben's collar began to feel a bit hot, and tight.

He, in his story began to grow his pecs which were perhaps the most developed part of his body, they began to inflate, or rather explode from his extreme dosage. His shoulders began to swell and cords of vascular might rose from his once plain arms. His biceps, once uneven and just two fist size lumps on his arms began swell rapidly, the skin around it giving way to an expanding mass of quivering, sweaty strength that was accented by the sudden contraction and appearance of massive horseshoes that was his triceps. Plates in his forearms moved like continents, creating deep ridges and rivers of widening vein.

In the real world, had he noticed in his horny fervor his arms and his pecs were beginning to do the same.

Fictional Ben's abs once a measley, unimpressive four pack buckled inward as the fat simply evaporated, His upper set became four large bricks of solid mass, his lower which appeared boldly rounded it all into eight bricks, only harder and larger. The veins slowly crept down his flaring lats and sterling abdomen to something of growing concern.

His pajamas, which were tight sweat pants had little match against the sheer power that dominated his once decent, thin runner's legs. His quads which had a thirst of their own exploded forth from his pants as his body stretched towards the ceiling. The fabric bound by shreads to his hamstrings which soon withered away.

Now his ass, oh his ass was a marvel, it transformed into a beautifully round masterpiece of power and strength, his Aeropostale underwear stretched desperately around his outward hips, and rendered see through when it came round to his glutes. His bulge descended to the size of a tennis ball, and soon doubled. His calves tore away from the remnants of the pants, vast striation developing as his body shot upward.

The fake Ben had to crouch to see his stunning reflection as he was so tall, a godly eight feet tall. His pecs so big two people could stand on them, abs so tight and bulging a man's hand would be broken at a punch and his finger ripped away if he prods too close at a flex. His face had changed into that of a model, his jaw and nose sharp.

But real Ben, with this strange energy flowing through him compounded with his kinkiness could write no further, he took notice of himself and an ecstasy unlike any other drove his wildest dreams to their ultimate reality.

He was fully clothed, unlike his avatar who had grown shirtless and slowly, his was far more rapid and shocking. Ben had indeed taken a pill earlier, or twelve with his best friend Eric, and had gone home for the night eager for the morning. It was supposed to occur in his sleep, but an all nighter was too hard to resist.

His green XL shirt was immediately ripped away as Ben exploded outward into a Hercules of a teenager. His body transformed immediately, the fat had diminished completely, exposing all his abs which were meager but only for a split second. His bones began to lengthen, he groaned with pleasure as his head accosted the nine foot ceiling.

Soon he was seven foot, taller than all the gloating assholes at school, taller than any of them - EVER -. His pecs began to partially eclipse his mammoth shoulders which sat beside his ballooning traps. His back pushed outward into a hulking sensation, vast plates that unfurled out from him endowing him with titanic strength.

His abs had become all he hoped and more, his obliques so dense he appeared to have four extra abs on both sides, pentecostals so sharp and prominent they could cut more than diamonds. His legs fought desperately for room inward and upward, his quads feathered as each and every fiber exposed itself, his hamstring becoming tremendous fleshy pillars. His calves had become the size of what was once his head as he surpassed eight feet in height, soon he was exactly what he wanted to be, but it hadn't stopped there.

His body continued to inflate, taller, stronger, very soon he was almost trapped inside his home. He squeezed through the door, cracking the doorjamb and breaking a hinge on the way out. He stood upward, five hundred pounds of godly might, his eyes level with the eaves trough.

He stood in the dark frigid winter midnight, no more than twenty degrees out, in his white, skintight aeropostale briefs. His sheer size staving of the bitter cold, melting snow instantly at his almost car sized feet. The energy still filled him, urging him to move, to exert his new found power. The trailer community he lived in experience a 3.0 on the richter scale that eve as Ben charged down the road, consuming the width of both lanes.

He dashed down the street at a jog to him but passed by at a racing twenty five and accelerating. He ran down a hill, and a tenacious idea spawned in his now adrenaline fueled mind. In a move imitating his idol The Hulk, he squatted and lunged a full three hundred feet across the trailer court's frozen pond, he found himself nearly crashing into trailer on the other side, this time looking down upon the roof's peak by two feet.

A beastly idea came through him, one that would prove his ultimate endurance and dominance, he bolted for the forest, which was all around, first his tried ascending the now flagpole like trees, but this came with a far more elating ability, he uprooted it with greatest ease, the building strength allowing him to use two and soon only one hand. He smiled deviously and began plowing through the woods, leaving tremendous footprints and fallen trees in his wake. He jumped once more, and leapt far further, above the trees, beyond the trees and into town, towering over all but the highest buildings, he was a king among all men, all powerful.

His abs? A garage door, every one, his pecs? The size of baseball diamonds, his legs taller than all the trees. His underwear straining so impossibly tight it was now a semi-transparent speedo barely hiding his massive junk and gigantic ass. He took one more tremendous leap, this time his sexy, masculine face catching frigid snow as he grazed the clouds. With a tremendous thud, he could see in the snowy distance, above all the towers and homes, just alike him was his best friend: Eric.

They met, two titans embracing each other standing ankle deep in Clare Lake, washing property damaging waves to shore and plates of ice melting around their steaming calves. They wrestled, each massive muscle of theirs contracting furiously, they rolled over hills, flattening homes, hills and trees. Had they noticed, bullets had been fired upon them, but their titanic size reflected them without the slightest sensation to them.

There they were, almost visible from space two teenagers, two men. Two Gods.
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  #2   Add to Reeza's Reputation   Report Post  
Old January 19th, 2014, 07:25 AM
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How to alienate readers . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Theone1 View Post
This is my first attempt at a story, sorry for the lack of cocks, but I'm not. There's too many stories that focus too vividly on dick and gay sex, so I threw in a little wrestling.
I stopped reading after that line. If you want to write a story that doesn't focus on sex, that's fine. There are plenty of stories on the forum that don't depict sex of any kind.

But there is no need for you to say that there are too many stories that focus on dick and gay sex. Criticizing other stories and their depiction of gay sex alienates readers who might have been receptive to your story. It certainly turned me off.

I'm not assuming that you're straight - not all gay people like to read vivid descriptions of gay sex - but your comment suggests that it's "too gay around here," and we need more "no homo" stories.
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Old January 19th, 2014, 09:21 AM
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(non-specific response) It's OK to feel whatever way you want, just try to be careful about it or how you word a response. People here might react a bit too drastically. If you even hint that the guy might secretly mean "no homo" people will angrily shit themselves and then attempt to fling their shit around. And just a reminder, this is not a scat fetish board. That shit simply does not fly here.

Opinions are often literal already; no need to dig for hidden meanings. I get the idea. I write overly-dramatic-gaytastic-growmance-stories-of-mediocrity(TM), and I am not even remotely offended. Of course I am just speaking for myself because I cannot speak on anyone else's behalf. Because let's face it, more writers means more stuff to read means more stuff to choose from means more fapping for you guys and more reading for me/people who don't fap. Everybody wins if everybody's nice, go figure.


On topic:
This was a nice story, especially considering it's your first one posted here.

What I liked:
  • Organization makes it easy to read.
  • Very precise and clear description.
  • Good amount of transformation description.
  • Different kind of story since isn't R-rated.
  • Mostly/completely asexual so anyone can enjoy it.
  • It's nature could be considered grim if you factor in what happens at the end. Some people might actually dig that kind of thing though. It's hardly freaky or grim compared to some of the stories I have read. No specific grim acts = good. I'm jussa babby. :<
  • The title was eye-grabbing.

What I wish it had:
  • More fight-action described; since you said it had wrestling I assumed it was a bigger part of the story. Not really disappointing, but it would've been something quite different. The last in-depth wrestling story I read turned into one of the most depressing works I have ever read on this site - possibly ever(I skip ultra-sad books). So. Yeah. A happy super-detailed wrestling story would be nice. HINT HINT WINK WINK TO ANYONE READING WOW SO SUBTLE /somuchtalkingsomuchwow
  • A bit more description for Ben and maybe Eric(though not necessary). The lack of specifics was not so bad and even lets people supplement what THEY like on to the character. . . But sometimes it's nice to know simple things like hair color, eye color, tan skin or not, facial hair, and how they looked prior to the change. It's not anything to worry about if this is your style of writing (which is good).
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Old January 19th, 2014, 09:53 AM
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I can understand your wishing to do a story that does not emphasize or focus on sex (although I don't share your view).

The main reason why there aren't very many of these, is because frankly, the act of growing stronger and bigger is a highly erotic experience. I mean this quite literally.

Feeling your muscles grow (in workouts) and reveling in the increasing power you experience after they have grown (say, after a month or two of serious weight training) is a feeling that is simply unbelievable and almost incomprehensible to a novice, who has never actually enlarged their strength and musculature to a serious degree. I would say that the feeling is indescribable, but that isn't exactly true. The feeling can be best described as sensually erotic. It's the closest thing to sex one could imagine.

People who have never seriously altered their bodies to a significant physical level cannot fully understand this. But it is the main reason why muscle and size enhancement tend to be paired with or compared to, a sexual experience.

And Reeza is correct in saying, "If you don't like the sex part, you don't have to target gay sex as a specific point to make." Just don't include the sex, and perhaps in the Prologue, give the reader a simple statement that there isn't any, to provide a "Heads Up" to readers that might be looking for that sort of thing.

Remember, this site is going to be posting mostly gay stories, because whether you're aware of it or not, this website is primarily focusing on MALE muscle growth (not that an occasional hetro story isn't appreciated). May I suggest you read the website's story guidelines in the administration area?



As to your story, if you don't want to write about sex, may I suggest you write about SOMETHING? You practically threw the wrestling match in as an afterthought in nearly the last paragraph. And it lasted about all of a sentence. I wasn't aware that the protagonist had grown to MACRO size until the story was nearly over. As for the confrontation with his friend, I've seen other stories describe their roommates getting up in the morning with more detail.

Enjoy the experiences of size and strength. Embrace them, and share them in detail with us. Give us examples of that strength. If the boys have a wrestling match, and start incidentally wrecking the town beneath them, tell us about it in detail. Tell us HOW they wrecked the town. You get the idea.

This reply is not to attack you, but to honestly help you. I hope you will receive it in the spirit it is given.

Good Luck on your next attempt.
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Old January 19th, 2014, 03:09 PM
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I dunno. This was a good job of describing the growth, and the size, and I agree that no explicit sexuality needed to be there. It could have had much more of the wrestling, they could have even, I dunno, talked.

As far as the 'sex' part - of course it isn't necessary to have sex in the story, but sensuality - in the movie Stay Hungry one of Arnold Schwartznegger's lines is one he said frequently in real life: Getting a pump after a hard workout was better than sex. Ask anyone on here who's trained hard, it may not trigger quite the same sensations in the body and brain, but it does feel awesome ... even if you never achieve Arnold's size.

It was a macro story, at the end, and I always find that those tend to take the story right out of believable immersion. But that's me. Objectively, that part seemed to be OK. I would have been OK with hulk-sizing them and getting stronger.
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Old January 19th, 2014, 09:25 PM
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wow

good story but need sex and growing and sex >.<
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Old January 20th, 2014, 02:42 PM
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I happened to really like the story. The erotic focus was on the growth. To that extent, I feel that the focus of the story was perfect. To me the sex, gay or straight, is very much incidental to the real action: the growth itself.

I think some the above criticism is meant to be constructive. I hope it does not deter you from contributing more stories here, regardless of whether they involve any sex, or are even hetero in nature...provided of course that the emphasis remains on the growth of the guy. Thanks for the read.
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Old January 21st, 2014, 10:38 AM
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Eactly, giantw. Everything I said was intended to be constructive. Theone1 has some practicing to do before his writing captures his story perfectly, but he's definitely on the right track, and I'm confident that even if he ignores every critique, he'll get there just by continuing to write.

And like I said, sex isn't necessary if sensuality is there - I failed to point out that the sensuality was there. It was a bit rushed, in places, but that's also a matter of taste.
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Old January 24th, 2014, 04:05 PM
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Ben's growth fantasia...

Wow, this is your first time posting a story here?

Not bad! Good growth descriptions, with some unintentional humor:

"His abs had become all he hoped and more, his obliques so dense he appeared to have four extra abs on both sides, pentecostals so sharp and prominent they could cut more than diamonds."

Unless his muscles were "speaking in tongues" , I think you mean to use the word "intercostals" [rib and chest muscles]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercostal_muscle
rather than "Pentecostals" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentecostalism)

'Busting you' aside, I say you did a very creditable job: you outlined an interesting premise: a college student who is experiencing extreme out-of-this-world muscle growth in real life while writing about it on a website.

The opening apologia for not writing stories with sex in it was unnecessary. This is a "Muscle Growth" forum, and you certainly wrote about muscle growth. The sex is always optional here. You don't need to editorialize about it.

Unfortunately, by making the statement you made, you inadvertently threw gasoline on the smoldering embers of a volatile discussion which has just simmered down after a week of highly emotionally charged exchanges on a "Gay versus straight stories" thread in the "General" section of the Forum.

Think about it this way: If your story doesn't have sex, you don't need to say so. If your story doesn't have Heffalumps in it, either, then you don't have to go out of your way to mention that. Now, if your story doesn't have Heffalumps having sex (!) then I want to know why?!

Seriously, very good first effort!

I look forward to reading more by you.

Mdlftr
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