Getting checked out by straight men

[mammothpecs]

I'm not huge or anything but I've noticed that when I'm wearing a shirt that shows my arms, straight guys will check me out while I'm talking to them. In the middle of our conversation, their eyes will start roaming over my body. It's a tiny bit flattering but actually makes me somewhat uncomfortable even though I'm gay. Any explanation for this odd behavior? Has anyone else been checked out by their straight friends?

[Notbigenuff]

I've been checked out by straight guys on occasion too. It seems my straight friends are usually the first to notice, or least mention, when my body is showing improvement (especially if my arms have gotten larger--though sadly they haven't for a while now ).

In fact, they will often mention something before the women will. I wonder if this is because since there is no perceived "sexual" connotation in their observations that they don't see any harm in talking about another guy's body (most don't know I'm attracted to other guys though). I think this possibility may have been discussed on another thread once upon a time. Whereas I've noticed my gay friends actually get a little nervous when talking about any changes they've noticed.

I may have mentioned it somewhere before, but I remember one gay friend who actually stuttered when he realized how big my arms had gotten during a "growth spurt" about a year ago--couldn't finish his sentence but just indicated a space the size of a basketball with his hands when trying to describe my arms.

Kind of a cool experience now that I think about it...

[claygrant]

good thread, mammoth!

One friend of mine sometimes shifts his gaze to my upper arms during a conversation. A while ago he even mentioned, "Wow your arms are really getting big!" He's not gay, and as notbigenuff said, I suspect he can say these things without second thought.

Same kind of thing happened with an old coworker... one time he just walked over to my cube to chat, reached an arm out, squeezed my biceps, and said "Damn, your arms are big." This was coming from a guy who's bigger than I am, so it was funny and flattering at the same time. This coworker is straight as well, so there's no sexual connotation for him at all.

I sometimes wish I could be so open about complimenting another guy's build, but then if I were, I'd probably be straight, and that'd be no fun at all!

[traveller]

One of my (gay) friends told me that guys are just sizing you up. They may be straight, but they still want to establish some sort of pecking order. Most straight guys, if they touch me, will put a hand on my shoulder and move down from there to my arm which they sometimes squeeze. I do mind when people do this unless I'm attracted to them. This situation doesn't happen often though.

One gay friend who has a beautiful body (5'10" at 175, defined muscles) typically wears close fitting shirts. Women sometimes pawn his body without his consent. I remember standing in a cafeteria line in a neighboring company's building when some petite woman pawed his abs, and then quickly waled away. Guys aren't as straightfoward. He told me that at our company's holiday party one straight male co-worker kept talking about how muscular that friend's body is. We both thought is was odd for even a drunk straight boy engaged to be married.

Traveller

[Notbigenuff]

Oh man, I almost forgot about the arm touch. The move that Traveller describes (hand on shoulder, moves down to arm) seems to be a favorite with a lot of people. It usually happens to me when I'm wearing long sleeves though--rarely get the "casual hand on arm" when wearing a short sleeve shirt though. Wonder why?

[Bull]

What I find with straight guys is, their eyes are always drifting down to my chest when we talk. It's just like they are checking out a woman's boobs. I don't mind a bit...

[Notbigenuff]

But the question is, do the eyes stop at the chest or keep drifting downward...to check out your quads of course!

[GrowinHuge4U]

Its called short attention spans... either that or they are just checking out the competition so to speak. Or they are just admiring the scenery.

Hand on shoulder is generally accepted as a non agressive move. But it can lead to where they really want to go, either up or down. Up to the neck, head and face for publicly acceptable intimacy, or down for admiration (and to just "cop a feel" of the arm semi-discretely).

-- LG --

[sexiscriptor]

This is probably one of my all time favorite threads. At least for today. I'm going to point out how even straight women will praise another woman's breast size. And I will also say that, among straight guys, copping a feel of an arm or staring at a chest isn't at all as risky as grabbing another man's crotch would be.

[ottomun6]

A couple of times straight guys have grabbed my traps, and also my arms. They have also spent a little too much time complimenting me on my hamstrings while I'm on the leg curl bench (my butt is laying there for all to see)
And the women seem to always find time to suddenly cop a feel of my arm in casual conversation

[RyBearATL]

It's funny, being gay we forget that straight men aren't even perceiving the melange of sexual/flirtatious/etc signals we casually pass and understand.

I have a straight friend who used to be in the marine corps. SR is a nice, handsome, personable guy. He isn't gay, just one of those straight guys who's completely confident in his own sexuality so he doesn't have to worry about (y)ours!

On leave once, he went to a gay bar (back home) with a lesbian friend of his from high school. He talked all night with this guy and later on told me he found out that the guy was completely confused about what was going on and was disappointed at him. Having had to learn this myself I found out that while in the bar he made continuous eye contact with the man and paid him attention the whole time (1hr plus).

"Duh, of course he thought you were interested!" (Said me.)

"But he knew I was straight!" (Said he.)

"Do you know how many guys in that situation would SAY they're straight and STILL go home with [the other guy]?"

"Huh?"

"You're so cute I bet it hurts sometimes. Just forget about it. You were sending signals you didn't understand & thought they were just normal."

Next time you're in a bar see how difficult it is (feels) to maintain eye contact with a friend who you don't want to sleep with. One of the funny things when I came out was noticing that my friends, who had all been out a while longer than me, would STOP making eye contact with me in the bars. I was very confused. [Eye contact]=[interest]=[I want to sleep with you], even if it's just your friends!

About 10 years later, SR went with me through IML on a "field trip". Now THAT was fun! (Yes, he's still straight.)

-R

[Notbigenuff]

RYBearATL,
Thanks for sharing that observation with us--I'll have to give your theory a try next time I'm out. Could solve the whole meeting new people issue for me

[glammaman2000]

ALL GUYS WHO WORK OUT CHECK OUT OTHER GUYS WHO WORK OUT!they just do.in NY,even the straight guys are sophisticated enough to be a bit cautious about this;knowing it will be interpreted as a pass.i was in Miami a while ago.i'm pretty big.i was getting looks that would be interpreted as a SHAMELESS cruise up here.how to spot the straight guys?no matter how big your pecs are,they'll only compliment your arms...

[Mdlftr]

Re: guys noticing other guys who work out:

True. Guys do check each other out. Glamaman2000 is correct in that straight guys don't touch pecs, and they rarely comment on them.

In my suburban Gold's the only time I've seen any "touching" of pecs, is one time when two guys, who were long-time friends, hadn't seen each other in a while. The one guy was sitting down in an old-fashioned overhead pull down machine (the one with the bar that pulls down from over your head to down in front of your lap. There's an old picture of Mike Mentzer using one. Anyway...) Point being, when you're getting ready to use the machine, you arms are raised over your head.

First guy comes up to the guy sitting in the machine, who he hasn't seen in a while.
First guy: "Hey man, haven't seen you in a while --you been working out?"
Second guy: (sitting with his hands on the bar in front of him, waiting to start his rep): "Uh yeah, a bit." (Second guy is pretty built and has a thick chest, which is emphasized by his tank top)
First guy: (approaching machine as second guy raises his hands overhead) "Hey ,man, you're getting big! You've got tits!" (reaches in and grabs second guy's pecs and squeezes. Second guy laughs and tries to back up, and is stuck in place as guy one keeps squeezing and punching his pecs, making comments .."Look at these tits!"
The rest of us around them either laughed, or, wondered exactly HOW well they knew each other.........

Mdlftr

[glammaman2000]

...i have noticed,however,that straight guys with big pecs spend an incredible amount of time feeling THEMSELVES up!

[sexiscriptor]

Yes, they most definitely do. Wish I could help'em, sometimes

[RyBearATL]

glammaman2000 ...i have noticed,however,that straight guys with big pecs spend an incredible amount of time feeling THEMSELVES up!

Just stopping to point out that, being straight, they're not GOING to be in a sexual position to feel another guy's firm pecs. They're just going to have to use their own.

-R

[Notbigenuff]

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

...i have noticed,however,that straight guys with big pecs spend an incredible amount of time feeling THEMSELVES up!

Actually, I've noticed that a lot of guys take an incredible amount of time feeling themselves up in the gym--whether it's the pecs or biceps. Occasionally, it's fun to catch someone doing this when they think no one is looking (a sideways glance in the mirror) and watch them try to cover it up by appearing to examing for moles or other skin conditions...

Of course, a lot of guys also seem to like feeling their biceps during the day--in meetings or whatever--I guess to remind themselves that they are still there!

Okay, okay...I'm guilty of this too...

I came to accept that anyone who works out seriously is always aware of their muscles even away from the gym. Ache, tightness, sensitivity, tiredness, slight spasms now and then. I found that it is the most wonderful sensation to stretch now and then and to knead my bicep or tricep, or pec or trap or delt or quads or whatever at anytime of day. To stimulate blood flow, to give yourself a hundred mini-massages during the day. I never thought of it as "feeling myself" but as rewarding myself for keeping my muscles in growth mode.

Of course I tried to avoid massaging myself in the middle of business meetings but a little stretch would creep in now and again.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with knowing your body and letting it speak to you.

[Notbigenuff]

LG, I agree that there is nothing wrong with letting your body speak to you and as I mentioned in my previous post, I am guilty of the same "pleasures" that you describe.

One of my most memorable experiences with enjoying the stiffness and tightness that sometimes comes after a workout was after I had performed a particularly grueling session with both a heavy bench and heavy curls. The next day I had to laugh at myself as I was trying to dress for work--I couldn't lift my arms high enough to tie my tie! I opted for "business casual" that day.

It's funny to think that this might not be interpreted as a good experience to the, shall we say, untrained folks out there. But, I took it as a sign of future growth and actually missed the sensation when my arms recovered. Of course, I didn't head right back to the gym and repeat that workout any time soon though!

On a related note, I have recently noticed that my boss--who has started a body transformation of his own and now works out regularly--has taken to stretching and casually flexing his arms as part of the stretch whenever we are in a "one on one" meeting. His biceps are developing nicely...

[brent]

OMG! All this stretching and flexing, oh my! I don't know how I missed this thread earlier.

Totally unrelated, I swear this Hari-Kristna(sp?) monk was trying to chat me up. It felt weird & creepy, but I liked it as a compliment too...