Try

[digits]

"Tell me th-this..."
I was in tears.
"If-if you don't like something, y-you have to get rid of it?"

"Yes."
Cold, bitter.
Like a stone.
Rigid.
"Old clothes? Throw them away. People? Get them away from me."
My mother has basically told me she hates me.

"B-but, mom-" I was cut off.

"I am not your mother!", she yelled, "I am not the mother of a fag!"

"I'm the same pers-"

"Get the hell out."
The same coldness.

"M-mom?"

"Get the hell out of my house."

I could only stare at the woman who gave me life.

"Now!"
Oh yeah, she hates me.

"She then started throwing anything she could get her hands on at me, and now I'm here. Fast forward 6 years of course," I had finished telling one of my friends I hadn't see since High School the truth of where I lived. Or rather, why I was kicked out of the house.

"Damn dude. Your mom's a bitch," Tony said.

"Pft. I've told her that before," just then the waitress came.

"Could I interest either of you sexy gentlemen for more coffee?" she asked. Her nametag said Cheryl.

I started to blush, I could actually feel my face turning into a tomatoe.

"No thanks Cherry-babe, me and Adam are just gonna stay for a little while longer."

"Aww..." she pouted, "I love it when you bring your muscle friends in."
"Since your leaving so soon, at least flex for me, please Tony, please?"
Nothing goes better with coffee then begging.

"Well, I don't see how it would benefit me...."

"I won't charge you for the coffee and breakfast!"
This is said with so much speed that it sounded more like "I-wo-char-juu-fortha-coff-eeyand-brekfess".

"Awesome," Tony said. He started to bounce his pecs, then he raised his arms up and flexed his biceps.
His camo-patterned shirt outlined every muscle in his body clearly.

"Aaahhh..." Cheryl managed to squeeze out from her shake fest.

And as soon as he started, he stopped.
"Well thanks for the free food Cherry-babe!" Tony said as he got up extremely fast and grabbed his jacket.
"Let's roll Adam."

"But!! That was too short!! Not fair! Hey, how about you big-guy, flex for me!" Cheryl said, turning to me.

Call me Mr. Tomatoe Head.

"Um- actually- I- uh-" I managed to stammer, before Tony put his arm around me.
So hard, muscular, against my own muscualr body, God... so good...
He had to ruin it though by putting his hand on my head and ruffling my hair.

I forgot he was at least 4 inches taller than me.

"Sorry, Cherry. This man's dignity is not for sale. I don't want you to humiliate my friend, here."

"Well fine," she said, "But next time you owe me a longer show."

"Ok, Cherry-babe," Tony laughed, and we left the diner.

Outside I said, "Sure is hot today, huh?"
He gave a sound of agreement, his hands in his pockets.

But then, walking towards the car, Tony stopped.
"Hey can you wait for me at the car? Here're the keys."

Ruffling through his pockets he found his keys and tossed them at me.
"I'll be riiight back."

"Cool."
I gripped the keys and walked to the car, while he went back to the diner.

Going up to it, I actually started to notice the car.
It was old.
But I guess that's why it's a classic.
It had to at least be from the early 80s.
"Oh, it's a Pontiac?" I asked out loud.
I'm not the smartest car-guy in the world.

It had no electrical windows, and no unlock/lock buttons.
Just a key.
Damn, with all the new technology you wonder how much of a hassle old things are.

Inside the car, I looked at all of the things there, and the lack of things.

What's that sound?

The only thing he had in the car beside a duffel bag was an air fresheners.

Is someone yelling?

But, the front of the car could seat three people.
So that's cool.
Actual room in a seat.

Oh shit. Someone was yelling.
"Start the car!!"
It was Tony!

"Oh god- oh shit-" I tossed the keys between my hands and scooted to the drivers seat.

"Start the car!!!!"

I put the keys in the ignition and he jumped in through the window.

"Go go go!!!" he commanded.

I pushed the pedal down and drove away off into the desert.
10 minutes later, we were 20 miles away.
A little bit clamer, I slowed the car down to a number below 100.

Confused as hell, I yelled, "Dude! What the f-"

He planted his lips on mine, and kissed me.
A sweet kiss.
He pulled away and unzipped my pants.

"To-tony what the hell are you doing?!"

He grabbed out my dick,
"Oh my God, you're huge!",
put it in his mouth,
and gave me the blowjob of a lifetime.

[digits]

Not much of anything here, yeah I know.
I'll try to do better next time though. ^___^'
<<< If this is received well enough that is, hah>>>

[abbraxis]

Well, it's not growth... and not much about muscle... but I like your characters.

*I* wouldn't mind seeing more from you...

[13 of Spades]

I think I'm more confused about the last part than anything. It seemed hurried compared to all the description you poured into the top portion. It's as if you said, "Here, have some exposition and a spontaneous bj." More description in the 'better' part of the story (note: the bj) will be appreciated.

I will say that I did enjoy the exposition for what it was. And the cocky flexing from a muscle man with no self-esteem issues is always hot. /chuckle.

[digits]

Originally Posted by abbraxis

Well, it's not growth... and not much about muscle... but I like your characters.

*I* wouldn't mind seeing more from you...

I know, and I'm extremely sorry, ;___;
I just wanted to know what people would think of my characters.
I plan on revising this and making it longer.
(Or maybe just redo the whole thing.)
Soon.
Or something, Xp

[quote=13 of Spades;67287]I think I'm more confused about the last part than anything. It seemed hurried compared to all the description you poured into the top portion. It's as if you said, "Here, have some exposition and a spontaneous bj." More description in the 'better' part of the story (note: the bj) will be appreciated.
Yay. So I did a good job.
Sort of.
I understand the sex scene was immensly rushed, so I'm gonna fix it. :-D

Originally Posted by 13 of Spades

I will say that I did enjoy the exposition for what it was. And the cocky flexing from a muscle man with no self-esteem issues is always hot. /chuckle.

And thank you, m(- -)m *bow*

[chocomus]

It's hot but as it's said a bit confusing. As a try for characters it's cool I like them. I like the difference in personalities and the coolness between them (coolness exist as a word? anyway...)

Did just Tony robb in that place? looks like a bank robbery escape.