Prejudice

mhss1992 · #1 August 19th, 2008, 02:50 PM

Hi. This is my first thread in this forum...
Anyway, I love bodybuilding and I am fairly built for my age (16), but I have a problem: my mother. She has some kind of prejudice against muscular men, it looks like she thinks that every muscular man is ignorant, arrogant and violent, or even stupid. Well, except maybe for the arrogant part, which many bodybuilders are, that's definetely not true. Now she's saying that she'll probably take me out of the gym because she doesn't want me to become "obsessed" with training and forget about more important things, like school (as if that would happen... I'm the biggest nerd in my school).

She says that I should look for another kind of sport, a more "useful" one, whatever that means. This is so annoying.

TheMM · #2 August 19th, 2008, 03:14 PM

That's more of a stereotype then a prejudice, but I digress, it is arguable.

Anyways, your mother is also not alone in that thought, mostly about the "violent and stupid" part. Most folks (at least in the U.S. I won't speak for other countries) believe that anyone above what I refer to as "male model size" (and some people believe that ANYONE, no matter how muscular) is automatically on steroids, and thus violent and stupid.

The ignorance seems to mostly stem from people who see a huge guy in the gym. They seem oblivious because they're focusing, and not allowing small things to bother them as they work out. But if the fire alarm suddenly went off, they would go outside just like everyone else.

As for the arrogance part, there are some asses out there who are super arrogant, plain and simple; however, that goes for any group of people in this world. Those people always think that they're the best and everyone else is below them, no matter who they are, what they do, and what they look like, they are gods to mere mortals.

arpeejay · #3 August 19th, 2008, 04:14 PM

You could try making a deal with your mom, i.e., "Mom, if you see me becoming arrogant, ignorant, stupid, violent, or even neglecting my school work, take me out of the gym THEN, OK?"

Of course, you're not of age and she's your mom, so you're pretty much at her mercy. In which case wait until you're 18 and in college and go to the gym there.

xoxo

Richard

Lifter73 · #4 August 19th, 2008, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mhss1992

Hi. This is my first thread in this forum...
Anyway, I love bodybuilding and I am fairly built for my age (16), but I have a problem: my mother. She has some kind of prejudice against muscular men, it looks like she thinks that every muscular man is ignorant, arrogant and violent, or even stupid. Well, except maybe for the arrogant part, which many bodybuilders are, that's definetely not true. Now she's saying that she'll probably take me out of the gym because she doesn't want me to become "obsessed" with training and forget about more important things, like school (as if that would happen... I'm the biggest nerd in my school).

She says that I should look for another kind of sport, a more "useful" one, whatever that means. This is so annoying.

Your mother is believing and allowing herself to be sucked into the stereotyping people do of all bodybuilders and bodybuilding.......even in your own words you yourself are also expressing a stereotype when you say that "Well, except maybe for the arrogant part, which many bodybuilders are"... No, that is false. Bodybuilders are people, people that just happen to live in very big bodies. How people can generalize bodybuilders, let alone any group, is simply ignorance and the failure of people to educate themselves.

In this case, you have two avenues, either educate your mother, have her go to the gym with you and just show her what it is all about. And if that does not work, well, that is your mother, and under her roof what she says, goes. Once you are 18, and even moreso when you are out on your own, you can do what you want!

D

mhss1992 · #5 August 20th, 2008, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lifter73

even in your own words you yourself are also expressing a stereotype when you say that "Well, except maybe for the arrogant part, which many bodybuilders are"... No, that is false. Bodybuilders are people, people that just happen to live in very big bodies. How people can generalize bodybuilders, let alone any group, is simply ignorance and the failure of people to educate themselves.
D

Of course I'm not saying that every bodybuilder is arrogant,
but I know many that are...

mhss1992 · #6 August 20th, 2008, 01:51 PM

But, anyway, thanks for the replies. I'll just try to convince my mother.

Lifter73 · #7 August 21st, 2008, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mhss1992

Of course I'm not saying that every bodybuilder is arrogant,
but I know many that are...

And I know many more that simply are not. And a lot of them may appear arrogant simply because of how they are approached and when. I myself have been interrupted many times in the gym by people that simply do not understand gym etiquette, i.e. don't interrupt someone in the middle of a movement or set, don't sit on a machine and use it as a resting post, etc etc. I am usually polite but more than likely you can probably tell that I am pissed. So, when you get a bodybuilder that is focused on his training and routine, just let him be arrogant to himself and leave him be.

Just my two cents on that instance.

I am very curious to know how you plan on convincing your mother to let you get into you training/bodybuilding? And if she will even agree to it?

There my be much more going on, but I hope that things work out for you....

D

chocomus · #8 August 21st, 2008, 04:59 AM

She's your mother. You can look her at the eyes and tell her: You know me. You really think i'll ever be like that? Don't you trust me?

Even if you're still not 18 being 16 you can have a normal conversation with her and she can listen to you if you stay calm.

You can also try the puppy-eyes trick. They worked for me at your age

wolfotehmoon · #9 August 21st, 2008, 10:30 AM

@L73, I have to say that even if you are trying to be focused on your routine, you really don't have any right to get pissed off at people for breaking etiquette. Catching an attitude, even when you're right, isn't gonna get anything done, and chances are you'll look like the ass. Asking nicely should be part of gym etiquette, but it seems like people automatically assume everyone should act a certain way, and then get angry when others don't act exactly how they figure, in their minds, how those other people should act. (i.e. If no one wants to use it, I'll rest on that unused machine, TYVM)

To the OP, I suggest offering to pay part of your gym membership or something similar. It shows maturity (through your willingness to sacrifice for something you want), and parents loooove when they don't have to pay for stuff. :P

Lifter73 · #10 August 21st, 2008, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfotehmoon

@L73, I have to say that even if you are trying to be focused on your routine, you really don't have any right to get pissed off at people for breaking etiquette. Catching an attitude, even when you're right, isn't gonna get anything done, and chances are you'll look like the ass. Asking nicely should be part of gym etiquette, but it seems like people automatically assume everyone should act a certain way, and then get angry when others don't act exactly how they figure, in their minds, how those other people should act. (i.e. If no one wants to use it, I'll rest on that unused machine, TYVM)

To the OP, I suggest offering to pay part of your gym membership or something similar. It shows maturity (through your willingness to sacrifice for something you want), and parents loooove when they don't have to pay for stuff. :P

I beg to differ... I have every right in the world to get pissed off if someone walks up to me and wants to put themselves first with that "me me me" asshole attitide and don't give a damn about my workout like they own the gym. Not only do I get pissed off, but I will promptly tell them to ask the staff...that is what they are there for. And as for lounging on machines...machines ar for USE! Many a time I have looked over from a set to see if a machine is in use or available so I can prepare for a set. So, when someone inconsiderate ass has their ass planted on a machine and they are not using it, it is WRONG! When you sit on it, others assume you are either using it or are in the middle of a set.

In short, stay off the machines...find a park bench!

No offense intended... just left the gym and found a bunch of gym impoliteness and a lot of inconsiderate boobs.....chaps my ass BIG TIME!

D

wolfotehmoon · #11 August 21st, 2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lifter73

I beg to differ... I have every right in the world to get pissed off if someone walks up to me and wants to put themselves first with that "me me me" asshole attitide and don't give a damn about my workout like they own the gym. Not only do I get pissed off, but I will promptly tell them to ask the staff...that is what they are there for. And as for lounging on machines...machines ar for USE! Many a time I have looked over from a set to see if a machine is in use or available so I can prepare for a set. So, when someone inconsiderate ass has their ass planted on a machine and they are not using it, it is WRONG! When you sit on it, others assume you are either using it or are in the middle of a set.

In short, stay off the machines...find a park bench!

No offense intended... just left the gym and found a bunch of gym impoliteness and a lot of inconsiderate boobs.....chaps my ass BIG TIME!

D

I still have to disagree. Your workout is your workout, and it's up to you to make it count. You shouldn't expect to have a home gym experience at a public gym, ie you're going to have to deal with people doing things you don't like. It sounds like it doesn't even enter your mind to *ask* if a machine is in use. What, you think someone's going to say, "No, you can't use it, I'm resting here."? I think you might be the one being unreasonable. If you have a problem with something, either say something TO the person causing the trouble or let it go. Everyone's there to do something primarily for themselves, and you're the only one who's gonna have a bad time by getting pissed at things that don't directly effect you.

mhss1992 · #12 August 24th, 2008, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lifter73

And I know many more that simply are not. And a lot of them may appear arrogant simply because of how they are approached and when. I myself have been interrupted many times in the gym by people that simply do not understand gym etiquette, i.e. don't interrupt someone in the middle of a movement or set, don't sit on a machine and use it as a resting post, etc etc. I am usually polite but more than likely you can probably tell that I am pissed. So, when you get a bodybuilder that is focused on his training and routine, just let him be arrogant to himself and leave him be.

Just my two cents on that instance.

D

Ok, ok, sorry. I'm just saying that it wasn't a complete lie.

BIGJOEY · #13 March 7th, 2009, 03:14 PM

not every bodybuilder is stuck up, full of themselves. based on my own personal actions being a competive bber i usually find the guys who feel the need to show off who also dont compete are usually the ones who create the perception of us. The guys i know who compete usually are quiet focused and go about their business and dont bother anybody and we tend to be a bit more tollarant than most in the gym.