Continue with Chris and Boot?

[tortolis]

Latest pair of matched POV episodes in the Chris and Boot story line are posted. I'm enjoying the process of developing these two characters, but the installments are heavy on interior monologue and slice-of-life incident, and I'm wondering if perhaps they're not right for this forum. Opinions welcome.

- Tortolis

[SithSpawn]

Keep going

I rarely if ever respond on here so you're obviously doing something right

[Jaypat]

You know, I really enjoy reading these, but it?s beginning to stagnate. Each chapter is structured very similarly.

Boot gets a whacky money making idea involving Chris. He drags in Chris. Chris is somewhat reluctant at first, but later gets into the swing of it. During the entire episode Boot struggles to deal with his obsessive desire for Chris. On some level, Chris is aware of Boot?s desire but does nothing to encourage or discourage it.

Several of the chapters you have written could be described by the above paragraph. You really need to shake things up a little bit. You could either progress their relationship, or introduce a new element to shake up the status quo?perhaps a serious love interest for one of your characters. If it?s for Chris, then it will probably push Boot right to the very edge, to the point where he starts to crack. If it?s for Boot, then perhaps Chris has to deal with the fact that Boot?s spotlight is no long focused on him. Would he feel the loss? How would he deal with it?

So far all your chapters seem to be ?a day in the life? chapters?which is great for a first act. But so far, the entire story seems to be a first act. I?d say its time for the inciting incident. Let?s put these characters in a metaphorical tree and start throwing metaphorical rocks at them.

[Lucas88]

Originally Posted by tortolis

Latest pair of matched POV episodes in the Chris and Boot story line are posted. I'm enjoying the process of developing these two characters, but the installments are heavy on interior monologue and slice-of-life incident, and I'm wondering if perhaps they're not right for this forum. Opinions welcome.

- Tortolis

I look at the episodes as snapshots in their lives as the relationship evolves...stand-alone incidents that don't have to be connected by anything but the characters. When you look back, life is a series of snapshots...there's the day-to-day routine that kind of fades away and wouldn't make for very interesting reading anyway but you're writing about the non-routine...a brawl at the bar...a calendar photoshoot...a really quirky roommate that keeps you on your toes. These are things that stand out as memorable and they're totally unrelated and that's just fine.

My one complaint about episode 5a/5b, is that, while you're doing an exceptional job of describing the settings, the props, the psychology/monologue, and everthing, what about the muscle...even though the story revolves around a muscleman, I'm not able to visualize him as clearly as I did in the first episodes where other people's reactions helped more.

You know Boot is watching every muscle bulge and pop and ripple but I didn't see it in my mind this time. Put your hands together in front of your chest and push like you're pushing the ends of the steel bar together...yeah your arms and your shoulders are involved and may be doing a lot of the work but your pecs will stand straight out from your body and create a horizontal ledge of meat...Chris is going to look like he's doing a most muscular pose from hell and his pecs should just about pop the camera out of Lily's hands and Boot should just about cream his shorts at the sight.

Yeah, Lily is a lesbian...but she doesn't have to be sexually interested in Chris to have a strong reaction to his hyper-developed muscles, if only from a purely artistic perspective. The man is supposed to be a sculpted slab of muscle.

I'm loving the story and the characters and most definitely think you should continue...just don't forget the muscle.

[hsmoose]

Please do!
Love the story to date & look forward to further installments...
Moose

[nj.]

Are you mad? Of course you should keep posting them.

And if you take them elsewhere, please tell me where.

[tagsnola]

... yes, please. More!

[tortolis]

I found the range of discussion helpful, and plan to stick with these characters for at least a while, taking them to a different setting. As to whether that will shake things up enough, we'll see?a narrative can become its own confining world. I wonder if some of you writers out there work on separate, contrasting story lines at the same time to let your imagination bounce between them. - t

[arpeejay]

My stories are almost always the same, i.e., lots of dialogue, so I'm afraid I can't offer much advice on that score. What takes a lot of time is figuring out, well, a "hook," and then what to with it.

The end is almost always maximized muscle growth. Which reminds of something I ran across the othere day:

http://gosporn.blogspot.com/2007/10/blue-dreams.html

I don't think I've ever seen one of my stories referenced in a blog before! :-)

xoxo

Richard