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Old November 27th, 2008, 09:30 AM
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Oakswood 3

I don't know what to add, other than thanks for the comments. I don't really like replying to my own threads... any thoughts and ideas are appreciated. Here's the third part.

- Dem



Oakswood 3


?So what sports teams are you joining?? Kane asked as we ate breakfast.

?None. I'm not allowed. You can't use your powers, and mine counts as one of those that's always 'on'.? I didn't want to anyway, I added to myself. Kane shrugged and ate his coco pops in silence after that, but his dark eyes watched me as I ate. I was used to this though, it was a habit he had developed since the night I got larger. He didn't even comment on my eyes anymore.

Nobody did now, actually. Most people took it in their stride, smiling at me and doing the whole ?You look good! I wonder how large you'll get! I wonder what your new eye colour could mean!? But by the second question I would be getting hard, and not really pay attention.

Not that my attention span had shrunken any, but I found it much easier to get excitable. At first it was a running joke between the guys, until the time Kane thought to take a grab at it and I ended up holding him up against the wall. I didn't realise he couldn't breathe until he kicked at me with his legs. I let him go so abruptly he'd jarred his neck. He didn't seem to mind, when he stopped laughing, and I was never bugged again. I didn't know I could get so angry... or that I could hold someone up so easily.

I suppose I should mention a couple of incidents from after I grew. Of course, I was so nervous about people seeing my eyes that my growth was an afterthought at first. I had to wear Kyle's clothes for a while until I got some that had been ordered through the magazine. As it was, I ended up wearing my too-small clothes for lessons, including Art, for a few days. Liam's reaction was the best.

I was already painting when he walked in, stood on the other side of an unimpressed Kane and said in a loud whisper ?Who's the hunk??

Kane looked over at me; I shuffled to look away from him, in case he recognised my face. In my tight red top and snug jeans which exposed my ankles, I felt like a bit of an idiot. I suppose Liam was looking at any place other than my ankles. ?New guy. Came late, doesn't speak much English.? Kane replied flatly. ?Great shag, though.?

I coughed onto my work, which was supposed to be a polar bear in the snow. When I looked over at Kane, Liam's interest was more than obvious. I thought he'd recognise me right away ? I hadn't changed that much, not to my knowledge ? but maybe my eyes fooled him. Regardless, he introduced himself. ?My name is Liam. What's your name?? He asked in slow English.

Drawing on all my knowledge of languages, I came up with two options: Bad German, or English. ?I'm Nathan, you great tool.? The look on his face, as per that credit card advert, was ?Priceless?. I kept my expression neutral for almost ten seconds, before Kane's silent doubled-up laughter set me off. Liam went from looking interested to flustered, and he was silent for the rest of the lesson. He kept looking at me, though. Checking me out, Kane told me afterwards.

?I don't blame him? The guy added as we returned to the flat, ?Those eyes suit you.? Then he slammed the door to him room and turned the music up, much to Sophia's displeasure. I stood at my door for a few minutes wondering why he mentioned my eyes as opposed to, say, my new size.

Other than Liam, though, the reaction I received was quite placid. Kyle said that he'd never heard of anyone change their eye colour, but some people had pretty extreme powers. Powers was the word he used, as opposed to gifts. ?As long as you don't turn into a dragon or something,? he added with a wink.

The next few weeks were spent getting more used to my new body, and waiting impatiently for it to happen again. The twitches continued, but none of my limbs went fully numb and useless like last time. I supposed I didn't want to outgrow my room, and at my current rate I stood in good stead. Even so, just the idea of being a little bigger, a little stronger... I was gay, that was constant between my old and new size, but I'd never been so preoccupied with size before. Well, not in the way I mean. Normally I would not have noticed, not in the way I did now.

I tested my strength, a few days before Kane's question at the breakfast table. I stood in the kitchen, running my hands along my arms, when I felt an itch to do something. A little like when there's an essay to hand in on Thursday, but on Monday you're still on Super Mario and the ?detailed essay plan? of an A5 sheet with a few quotes was justification for wasting time. I felt the itch so badly that I thought to see how much I could lift. Kane wasn't a light guy, stocky as he was, and I couldn't lift him until a few days before. Besides, super strength is one of the really cool skills which, whilst overdone, is cool nonetheless. Without thinking about the reality of trying such a thing, I grabbed the nearest heavy object and lifted it; my arms strained, but not overly so, to hold up the fridge. That was when Harry had literally floated in, and gaped like a goldfish. I panicked and dropped the blasted thing, sending lumpy milk and limp vegetables across the tiles. Needless to say it had to be replaced, but fortunately when I propped the thing upright and cleared the mess, there was little in the way of visible damage. A near miracle, I thought. By the time the stuff on the floor was cleaned, half the flat was watching and I was working up a good sweat. Part of it was nerves, the other part was that it was actually bloody hard work carrying fridges.

?Maybe you should try the gym.? This was back at the kitchen table with Kane and his coco pops. I didn't realise I had been staring at the new replacement fridge. ?You can't compete or anything, but you may as well lift something heavy. I'd watch.?

I'm sure you would, I thought to myself. Not that I didn't appreciate the company. ?I was thinking... of going swimming, actually.? I felt my face flush, but I was determined. Before I became self conscious, I really enjoyed swimming. I thought I could get away with it now, especially now my swimming shorts had arrived in the correct size.

?Alright. I'll come with you if you want.? I was beginning to take Kane's company as a given, but I actually did see him as my closest friend. We figured that, seeing as it was Saturday, we may as well go in the afternoon. Only, when I met Kane in the kitchen at 3, most of the flat was there armed with swimwear in bags. Kane, Sophia, Jennifer and Wendy of all people.

?I thought we may as well make it a flat outing,? Kane smirked.

?I've not been swimming in ages!? squealed Wendy.

?Didn't you ask any, um, of the guys?? I asked carefully.

?Turns out they're already there, Kyle wants to be on the swimming team or something.? Kane didn't seem to care.

There was a small pool on the top floor, but for practicalities' sake the main pool was at the far end of the building. With a glass roof and surrounded by trees, it seemed the ideal place to swim. With promises to wait for the girls by the side of the pool, Kane and I went to get changed. The guy's changing rooms always tickled me because they were set out as one long bench with lockers down the other side, as if guys wanted to strip off in front of one another. I turned to Kane to mention this amusing fact, and stopped when I found he was actually buck-naked.

?Come on then,? he said as he tucked himself into his black shorts. ?Don't have all day.?

I supposed not, but even then I was feeling self conscious. When I took my shirt off I was tempted to hug myself, but seeing my topless self in the light of the changing room I quite liked what I saw. Of course I was being stupid. I ran a hand along my firm set of abs before realising I was being watched, and when I looked up Kane was adjusting himself.

?I'll see you in there? He said gruffly, hurrying past to the pool. I watched his retreating back before I carried on, covering myself with my towel before changing my trousers. I wasn't that confident, or was that more of a cockiness thing? When I pulled the towel away to look over the blood red shorts, I winced at how revealing they were despite being halfway to the knees. When they got wet and clung, I'd be giving everyone an eyeful! It was too late to turn around and leave, and I was looking forward to the swim, so I sucked it all in and went out to meet the others. I had nothing to be ashamed of anyway.

I must have taken my time, because the girls were all there.

?Kane's gone in the pool already,? Wendy tittered as she looked me over. All three of them did, and for a second I wanted to show them more. No wonder they were so keen to get in the pool with me. Even Wendy, in her lavender costume, which seemed more suited to the Victorian era. Of course, Sophia and Jennifer were clad like slags, in matching blue and red bikini costumes. For all their cleavage, though, they looked on fiercely at the passing guy who thought Wendy looked like a prude.

?What are we waiting for then?? I asked, ?There's a slide and everything.? So, trying not to feel like a ten year old but not really caring either, I led the girls to the slide. Of all the people to be in front of us, we were met with Harry and Ivan.

?Hey boys!? Wendy greeted them. Jennifer and Sophia echoed this, if less keenly. Ivan wore a length of shorts to match Wendy in crudeness, and Harry's speedos only highlighted his Red Bull and Mars Bar sessions in front of the X-Box.

?Oh, hello Wendy.? Ivan had a nice smile, but he rarely used it. Harry was off down the slide, never to be seen again. Well, not for a minute or two anyway.

?I wonder where the other guys are,? Sophia mused as Ivan went down the slide to the pool.

?Dunno? I began, until the man who let people down the slide one at a time called for me to go.

?Go on big guy, don't get stuck.?

?I won't?, I assured him as I pushed myself down. Not yet, anyway.

When I got back into the main pool, Sophia and Jennifer introduced me to a new game as Wendy went to ?do her hundred laps?.

?It's like this? Jennifer said, ?You go to the edge of the water and bob down... you have to count as many guy's dicks as you can see, and who has the biggest.?

?What? You're checking guys out in the pool?? Were all girls this crazy? The pool was cold, it was hardly a fair way to judge... Sophia and Jennifer both giggled, and my image of them as well-to-do southern girls was instantly banished. They still kept their accents, though, a constant reminder of their strangeness.

?Give it a try. But so far I think you're winning.?

I ducked under to hide how beet red my face was. I didn't look, though. I wasn't there to sausage-fish. Instead I checked my own shorts out, to make sure I was decent. Apart from the fact that I was pretty well outlined, I was fine. When I broke the surface the two girls giggled some more and went under.

Feeling pretty self conscious by that point, I gave a yelp when I felt a hand squeezing my dick. ?Hey!? I ducked back under, and was surprised to see Kane had joined the two girls as well. The three of them weren't looking at me though, they were inspecting the rest of the pool. I swam in the opposite direction, determined to not be a piece of meat. It was at the other end of the pool that I found Corey and Kyle, teaching a few of the students how to dive properly. Judging by the burgundy trunks they wore, it was part of the swim team's lessons. Or something. I swam over anyway, and Corey broke from Kyle to say hello.

?So you're on the swimming team then?? I asked.

?Well, sort of.? Corey took an agitated breath, his toned stomach glistening with the water. ?I think they're just using us to teach the newbies, but we'll see. Kyle should be on the team though, he's a great swimmer.?

?What about you?? I asked, determined to keep my eyes on his face. Not the trunks. Away from the trunks at all times. Corey just grinned, and ruffled my hair from his place by the side of the pool. I didn't like having to look up to him, not one bit.

?We'll have to see. I think you should keep your hair like that, it's cute.?

I rolled my eyes and told him I was going to find Kane as if I hadn't just left him, when a piercing scream filled the pool. Deathly silence fell as everyone turned to the source of the screaming. Then they scrambled out of the pool as a growing bubble of blood emanated from the floating body of what had once been a student, and was not a contorted mess.

***

?What happened, Nay?? Asked Jennifer as if I knew the answers. Everyone looked pale, huddled in the reception area. Still in our swimwear of all things. Sophia looked pretty calm, but Wendy was trembling like a leaf. Kane put his arm around her, but the grimace on his face told me it wasn't because he liked the feel of her ruffled costume.

?Someone killed a guy by the looks of it. With their power.? He patted Wendy's hair as she trembled, but Kane rolled his eyes.

?Who was it?? was the main question people were asking one another.

?It was a guy, but we didn't recognise him...? Kyle said as he and Corey made their way over.

?He looked like he might have had brown hair?? Sophia shrugged.

Strange how some people can be so rational at times like this.

?Has anyone seen Ivan?? Harry asked in a low voice.





Everyone was locked in their flats, after someone had taken the names of every person in the swimming pool at the time of the little incident. Ivan didn't turn up though, and everyone began to get more and more worried.

?What do you think's going to happen?? Asked Wendy, looking to Kyle for the answers. Kyle shrugged and leaned back at the table. Nobody wanted to be alone, and even awkward Andy made an appearance despite being asleep at the time.

?This has never happened before. This place has been open for years, and it's never happened. Students don't kill each other.?

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly, so slowly. When Harry went to his room for his frying pan he ran into the kitchen wielding a note; I looked up from my dinner as he read it out.

?It was under the door to the flat! Here goes. 'To all Oakswood students. The use of all gifts, powers and otherwise will be nullified until further notice from 9pm this evening. Please remain calm, and rest assured they will return in the near future. Regards, the Headmaster'.? Harry looked up with confusion splattered across his face. ?Nullified??

That was the word I was thinking of, too. ?What does he mean?? I asked, but Kyle was shaking his head as well.

?I don't even have any gifts yet!? Sophia huffed. Kane swore into his can of beer, but didn't say anything coherant.

That night, a strange shadow fell over the school. Even the walls seemed aware of the change in atmosphere. At five minutes past nine, Kyle announced he couldn't transform into a poodle, and Corey couldn't open the door to his room ? he always had it locked, which he forgot. I expected to deflate like a balloon, and spent the following half an hour in my room appreciating what I still had. It would come back again though, I told myself time and time again. Soon though even my cock wasn't enough to keep me happy, and I went to sleep feeling dispirited.

I was woken up in the middle of the night by the ginger guy with the white coat.

?Nathan Lane?? The man asked, and in the dark he looked taken aback by something. Turns out I eat my carrots. ?The Headmaster wants to see you.? He didn't make any motion to move away, although it was clear I was sleeping topless. I was actually naked under the sheets, but I didn't want to give that away. Instead I reached for my shorts, the only thing close enough to slip on without exposing myself, and got out of bed to find a shirt. Tugging it on in the corridor, I was surprised to see the rest of the flat was awake. Sophia had the decency to slip a fluffy dressing gown over her skinny nightie and Wendy wore a full length set of men's pyjamas, but Corey and Kyle had both slipped their clothes on from earlier and Kane, the last to come out his room, had to be told to fetch a shirt.

?It's about Ivan, isn't it?? Asked Harry in his Teen Titans dressing gown.

In the Headmaster's office, it became clear it was. The Head somehow had enough seats for all of us, and we sat around the fire and waited what felt like a lifetime for him to appear. Why he wanted us at this hour was beyond me, but once again the ginger guy procured a number of hot chocolates and we sat feeling like we were at a camp waiting to get disciplined.

?I don't even like marshmellows,? Sophia sighed over her untouched mug. ?They have gelatin in, you know. So does jelly.?

?We don't give a shit,? Kane said gruffly as he took her drink from her. She didn't seem to mind his sleepy aggression. Instead, she giggled and folded her arms.

When the Headmaster returned in his Playboy-esque dressing gown, what little chatter we made soon died. He stood by his desk, and we had to turn in our seats to look at him. Would he notice my eyes, I wondered as he looked over us. I thought he might have lingered on me for a little longer than the others ? on my arms, I thought incredulously for a moment ? but then he was observing Wendy and I decided I probably imagined it.

?I'm not very good at giving bad news.? He handed Jennifer the same bowl of sweets he had taken from her; distastefully scowling she passed them on. ?Ivan is the one found dead in the pool. We know it wasn't a suicide, because he hadn't gained his power. Whoever killed him, their power hasn't been detected.?

?Was it a murder?? Harry squeaked, his glasses slipping from his nose. Pushing them back up he added ?Did they mean to kill him??

?Don't be so fucking stupid,? Kane snarled, but then he realised where he was and he was quiet again.

?For all intents and purposes we're treating this as murder. But that's not the only reason you're all here.? The Headmaster paused for a while and looked over us again. ?Every student who was at the pool at the time is going to be asked a couple of questions. This is nothing to worry about. Just answer honestly and you'll be fine. I'm sure we'll find the person who killed your flatmate.?

At the risk of sounding pretty heartless, I thought I could get over the untimely death of Ivan, who I didn't know very well. I could hardly remember what he looked like already. I was more bothered about what I'd do if anyone tried to kill me. Flexing my arms a little, I hoped they would be enough. When we could use our powers again I'd be much stronger.

?When will the barrier be lifted?? Kyle asked tersely.

?When everyone is questioned. Give it a week or so. Certainly before Bonfire Night.? The Headmaster replied. After that he dismissed us. As I walked past him, I thought I heard him say ?Nice eyes, Nathan.? It sent shivers down my spine, even when I thought about it afterwards.

The questioning was hardly as intense as I had expected. The ginger man sat next to Geoff as he asked me a couple of questions in the Head's office. The man himself was absent, so the hot chocolate was not offered. It must have taken a couple of minutes at the most. Did I know Ivan well? Did I know of anyone who disliked him? Could I think of any reason he would be wanted killed? Did he ever act strangely in the flat? Those answered, I left as Kane entered.

?Piece of piss,? I told him with a reassuring smile.

An hour later, a very frustrated Kane returned to Flat D.

?Fucking ? fucking ? fuck!? I didn't know what to make of his eloquent response to his well being, so I carried on making myself some dinner.

?What took you so long?? I asked him.

?They couldn't leave me alone. For fuck's sake, I didn't kill the bastard.? Kane opened a can of some beer or other, and finished it before he spoke again. In the meantime, Corey came into the kitchen for a drink.

?I was only there for a few minutes,? I told him. It probably didn't help his mood any. Something clicked into place, an event which took me by surprise. ?He said they haven't got anyone with a power like that which killed Ivan registered. That means it has to be someone who's not in his book who killed him.?

?So it could be me, eh.? Kane seemed too calm for me to carry on with that train of thought, so I just finished what I was doing.

?It makes sense,? Corey said from the fridge. ?It has to be someone who's power had just manifested, or they had somehow remained undetected. This barrier isn't just to protect us, though. He's building you all up, Kane. When he lets the barrier go a hell of a lot of students are going to find their powers on display. Like blocking a hosepipe with his foot. This person's gonna end up lashing out again, and I bet he has us in our rooms when the barrier gets let down. This person's going to get caught, either by that or when they're the last person with no reported power.?

?You talk too much,? Kane scowled. I wondered if this building up of powers applied to people like me as well, and rather hoped it did.

***

When I woke up three days later with a completely numb leg, I supposed it was the case.

?Getting ready for a bit more growth then?? Kane asked as he helped me get dressed. All he had to do was help a little bit, but he insisted on helping with everything. Even showering, though I did manage to glare at him until he relented on that.

Numb leg or not, I still had lessons. A crutch was procured from the nurse courtesy of Jennifer, and I carried on like nothing had happened. Nothing said my whole body had to be numb, but it was last time and the very first time it must have happened in my sleep. I expected my other leg to follow, or maybe my arms, but they didn't. Not for a while, anyway...

The school didn't really do massive gatherings, apart from on a Friday. Life Lessons was, in fact, the most boring lesson of them all. Big Geoff was replaced by an unassuming prune of a woman named Latoisha. Don't get me wrong, the exotic name was attached to a wrinkly old woman who wore a cardigan. Her skill, as she called it, was that she could always win in a game of chance. She didn't like gambling, though, so it was wasted on her. She told us all about the history of the place, how it was founded and all that sort of thing, and after that first drab lesson most people didn't bother going. Myself included, I'm afraid to add. I didn't care if the first headmaster was almost burnt at the stake or whatever before getting an awfully convenient house in a relatives will.

I was in the middle of heating some soup when my arms both went limp. Nobody else was in the kitchen so I had to stand there, hopping on one foot and trying to move the pan off the hob with my teeth before Sophia came to my aid.

?How am I supposed to go to lessons when I can't even move?? I asked, more than a little irritated. Kane, who had heard the commotion and came to help, hand-fed me soup as we sat on my bed. The strangest thing was, Sophia watched.

?Maybe you can get a special permit or something.? Sophia shrugged. ?I'll go and ask Kyle.?

Several moments of awkward soup-eating followed before Kyle appeared. Lately he had stuck to his room, confessing to all his strange urges to lift his leg against doorways and hump other people when he didn't change into a poodle for a while. Right then he had a pink plastic bone, which squeaked indignantly as he gnawed at it.

?You can get your work and things brought up to you every evening by the ginger guy,? Kyle explained. ?I'll go find him now. Even if you can't do anything with it, I'm pretty sure the teachers will be ok with it if he sees you can't move your arms.? With what sounded suspiciously like a yip he went to get Corey to do it for him. Then he retreated to his room and locked the door.

When Corey returned with the ginger guy and the nurse, he looked almost as discomforted as Kyle. He had that small money box in his hands, and he kept turning it over and over. There was no key. I only had a moment to marvel over this before the nurse made her way over to me, got me lying down and tugged my shirt off.

?H-hey!? I began, but the look on her prim face suggested she wasn't going to argue with me. I wasn't exactly in an auspicious position to complain. When she began to undo my belt, I looked angrily over at Kane. ?Why are you still here??

?I want to see. I mean, watch.? He didn't seem too fussed about correcting himself, though you can't really correct yourself when both answers are right. I closed my eyes as I felt the air on my legs, thankful that she didn't disturb my boxers. When nothing happened for a while, I looked up to see the nurse was just staring at my legs.

?What is it?? I asked, a little worried. The bulge of my boxers wasn't enough to calm me down.

?She can see through the skin of her patient,? The ginger man explained as he wrote things down. ?She can tell if you're telling the truth.?

?He is, Sec.? What was that short for, Secretary? ?His left leg and both his arms are numb. The other leg could go at anytime. An interesting side effect to the development of your powers, Nathan.? The nurse smiled and finally looked away. ?It will remain that way until the barrier is lifted, I fear.?

Hang on. ?How can you use your power on me?? I asked. That was when I saw the unusual clasp on her arm, a thick burgundy bracelet. The nurse jingled it at me and smiled. ?The Sec is our inventor,? She said. ?I'm hardly an effective nurse without my power.?

That was hardly reassuring for when I was seriously ill.

?You're exempt from work indefinitely,? The Sec judged. ?The nurse will check you every night to assess your condition. Do you need a carer to help look after you??

?I'll do it!? Kane insisted.

?I suppose it's cheaper than hiring one...? The nurse muttered. ?I'll be here at 6pm every night. Make sure you're in your room ready for me.?

?He will be, nurse? Kane told her in a way I didn't like. When the nurse and the Sec left, I looked at Kane with raised eyebrows. ?What??

?You're not going to dress me now, are you??

?Nope. I'm going to keep you just like that.? Sophia, who had left when the Sec arrived, returned looking impressed.

?Well, can you at least close the door?? I grumbled.

?Yeah, let's make this a private viewing.? Kane flicked the door shut, and locked it. That did nothing to relax me.

?What's going on guys??

I was rescued by the excited knocking on the door. ?Hey! We've got a new girl in the flat!?

?A what?? Kane opened the door, and Corey looked surprised.

?Uhh. New girl. The name's Colette. She's in Ivan's old room.?

?Nothing like moving in whilst the bed's still warm.? From the way Kane looked at me, I really wanted to be able to move my arms again.

?Can they do that? It's only been a week.?

?Apparently they can. I hope she doesn't mind living in a dead guy's room. At least all his stuff was taken.?

I tried to sit up, an interesting feat when I couldn't move most of my body. ?Can we at least say hello to her?? Then I recalled my state of undress, and I wanted to swallow my words. Corey looked me up and down with a broad grin.

?Flat party in Nathan's room!? He announced.

?I swear, as soon as I can move again-? I began, but he had already gone to send out the invitations.
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Old November 27th, 2008, 11:26 AM
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I feel compelled to say something, but I fear being repetitive. It's still as good (or perhaps better) as the first chapter, so keep it up

I'm very curious about this murder...
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Old November 27th, 2008, 02:45 PM
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I don't want to ruin it for the rest of the readers, if my suspicion is correct. You gave us the clues: Blood in the water, Body of student a contorted Mess, Body identified as Ivan's, Headmaster claims it was Murder, All students questioned as Powers are nullified, New Girl is brought to school and given Ivan's room. Collette. Hmmm!?
Well, I think it's getting better as it goes, too. And since it was damn good to start with..
Well you get the idea.
Keep Writing.

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Old November 27th, 2008, 02:47 PM
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Murder!!

I don't want to ruin it for the rest of the readers, if my suspicion is correct. You gave us the clues: Blood in the water, Body of student a contorted Mess, Body identified as Ivan's, Headmaster claims it was Murder, All students questioned as Powers are nullified, New Girl is brought to school and given Ivan's room. Collette. Hmmm!?
Well, I think it's getting better as it goes, too. And since it was damn good to start with..
Well you get the idea.
Keep Writing.

redroger11
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Old November 27th, 2008, 02:53 PM
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Murder!!

Keep Writing.

redroger11
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Old November 27th, 2008, 04:59 PM
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Hot, interesting, kind of a thriler and lots of fun with nathan and kane.

This is so good it looks like a real novel. It's awesome. keep up the great work
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Old November 28th, 2008, 06:31 PM
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Can't wait to see next chapter. I love muscle growth, I love murder mysteries.
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Old November 28th, 2008, 08:39 PM
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Mystery + Comedy

I'm reminded of the Hardy Boys plus Nancy Drew plus X-Men. What a combo! Keep up the great writing. I love a mystery - and with great comic relief, as well.
Mike
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--It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. Charles Darwin
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Old November 29th, 2008, 10:29 PM
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Very entertaining. :)
Can't wait for the next chapter, to see what befalls the plucky band of misfit mutants. ;)
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