My mother didn't recognise me (and other stories from my holiday)

[achilles]

Hi guys!

I know I've been away a long time, but of course I've been on vacation for a month in the UK. Most people should know, though some of you might not, is that although I now reside in New Zealand I actually emmigrated here in 2005. I was born and raised in England, so this trip was a chance for me to catch up with family and friends whom I hadn't seen for three years.

Where to begin? Why don't we start with the arrival. You see, though I have undergone a dramatic change over the last two years - from 160lb weakling to 240lb tank - and spent such a large part of my life working on it, I actually kept my family in England in the dark. Why? Partially because my family are a group of 'intellectuals', and I always got the impression that if I'd told them I wanted to be a bodybuilder, to them I might as well have just said I intended to decorate my home by flinging poo at the walls. (Or something equally neanderthal). So I kept quiet. It was quite hard, because we did still keep in touch by phone and email, and they'd ask what I'd been doing all week.

Plus I admit, it was also for my own slightly-twisted amusement to give everyone a nice surprise when I visited the next time. Some of us will have read fiction where the guy gets so big that he isn't recognised by his friends and family any more - I've always been keen to make fantasy a reality.

My plan worked well. A little too well. I got off the plane, at Heathrow, collected my luggage. Wheeled it out with one of those little airport trolleys, and made my way down the arrivals corridor. As soon as I stepped out into the meeting-area, I saw my mother waiting for me there at the barrier. And then it happened. My own mother didn't recognize me. As I walked over, her eyes met mine, she looked at me... and then she carried on looking past me over my shoulder. I had to practically walk right up to her before she realised who I was. After three years being apart, the first words she said to me when we met again were "Oh my god." Followed by "You're huge!"

Score one for the surprise my family plan!

She admitted when she first saw me, she just thought I was too big to be her son. I think it took her awhile to get used to the bigger-me. Even when I tried to show her the photos from my bodybuilding comp, she didn't really want to look at them. My sister and my brother-in-law however didn't have quite the shock, as I'd sent her a couple of photos since I'd been away. She did tell me she still found it quite strange, but that it was quite 'cool' I'd gotten pumped up. And my brother-in-law... well, he'd always been the 'big' man of the family before I went away (he's 6'4" and always had some broadness to his frame), so he got to find out that his title had been taken away from him! Times had changed, and my sister requested a photo so we could compare!

http://pics.livejournal.com/ccroft/pic/000gb6za

Later when I visited my father, his reaction was a muted version of my mother's. I don't think he could believe how solid I was when we hugged. He said I'd gotten huge - and later on gently scolded me that I wasn't perhaps prioritising my time properly if I had so much time for bodybuilding!

Then one night I went bowling with my sister's friends; pretty much the whole night they were making jokes or conversation about how big I was. When we met, I gave one girl, one of our long time friends a big hug. "Oh wow," she squealed. "Your boobs are bigger than mine!"

I'm sure she meant pecs, but whatever. Thanks luv ;-)

But this was nothing compared to when I went along for a social gathering in London. Mid-day on a cold Saturday at a bar outside St. Paul's cathedral, I attended the monthly gathering of an online group I'm part of. I was actually a little nervous, since I'd never met anyone there before, and was faced with a crowd of a hundred-something strangers. No, correction. A hundred-something mostly gay strangers. What was I thinking being nervous - it was great! In this context my physique was the star, which was alright because at the time I'd been off from the gym for so long and didn't mind the reassurance that I was still looking pumped.

I spent the meet standing in the garden-area outside the bar, having a drink and talking to a lot of people. Sometimes folk would just be walking past, stop walking, then come up and go "Woah! You're huge! I've never met anyone as big as you before." This in itself happened three times. (Yes I counted. Sue me.) The 'woahyourehuge' thing was by far the most common reaction, in general. The other common reaction was being asked to flex for folk, or if they could have a feel. There was plenty of bicep-grabbing and pec-squeezing going on. The cutest thing was when this one chap I was chatting to kept getting nudged in the ribs by one of his friends. "Go on, ask him," they teased. He began to get embarassed, being put on the spot. "No," he hissed back. "Stop it." Sensing that there was something he wanted to ask of me, but was too shy, I stepped in to bridge the gap. "Listen," I told him, "I've competed in a bodybuilding show; I've stood onstage painted orange in nothing but the tiniest underwear you can imagine in front of hundreds of strangers flexing for them. Whatever you want to ask me is going to be a walk in the park compared to that. This is nothing."

"Well, when you put it like that..." he mused. And then launched into a decent feel of my chest. Bless! My one party trick was the ol' pec-bounce-dance, which never failed to set toungues wagging. I look forward to attending another such gathering when I'm in better shape and haven't been off the gym for a month. But apart from the ego-massaging, it was also good talking to the folk who had the ambition to get muscular, and wanted hints and tips from someone that had made it happen. I tried to emphasise the amount of work involved, and sometimes gave very specific answers to particular queries. I hope I was helpful.

Now my holiday is over, and I need to get back to the gym if I'm to meet my 2009 goal of getting up to 270lb. Wish me luck, I'm going to need it!

- Charles "achilles" Croft

[CelticMuscle]

Can I therefore apolgise about the snow and hope it wasn't too much of a culture shock for you?

[havingfunmtl946]

Talk about an ego boost ! Great holiday experience to keep you hitting the weights harder. Can't believe you went from 160 to 240, that is one HAWT transformation. Im sure your brother in law will be nursing a bruised ego... I almost feel bad for him posing next to your massive gun.
Keep it up stud !

[kywolfie]

That's an awesome scene you've painted for us, Charles. If ever you're in Louisville, Kentucky (USA), I'd imagine you'd have an equally interested group of guys who'd be happy to be your audience... ;-)

[GunMetalGrey88]

i miss ed you achilles lot happened on my end

[Eager Muscle]

Charles, if you haven't already you should give Samuel Fussell's autobiographical "Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder" a read. It's a darkly comic cautionary tale of a Yale graduate from an academic family who becomes a hardcore competitive bodybuilder. Just hope your family doesn't get a hold of it though or they'll drag you back to England!

[nnnrg]

I got the feeling Fussell went into the project with an axe to grind, ground it, hacked at what he thought was the "mindset of the bodybuilder", and left after the hatchet job.

His take was accurate for a very small subset of people, and he wrote like it was the Universal Answer To The Freakies. Feh.

[Eager Muscle]

Yes nnnrg, the book paints a bleak picture of bodybuilding, which is why I suggested that Charles NOT let his family have a read lest they seek his immediate deportation back to England to be institutionalized.

However, I DO suggest that the chapters conveying the dynamic between the author and his family and old friends, academicians all, would make for particularly interesting reading for Charles because like the author, there is a disconnect (albeit less dysfunctional!) between what his family related to (yesterday's skinny milquetoast) and what they recently confronted (confident competitive bodybuilder).

What say you, Charles?

[not2bright]

What you did for the "shy" guy was so cool! He sounds exactly like me. I think I would be so awestruck to be in the vicinity of someone as built as you, I would just stand there with my jaw on the ground, too stunned, amazed and intimidated to ask for a flex (let alone a feel).

It's awesome that you're so willing to share the results of your hard work with anonymous admirers, both online and in person!

[UKBeefy]

Charles,

read with some interest and amusement your recount of coming back to the UK.

I can so hear the same albeit less shocking response of relatives etc. there's something odd about bodybuilding in britain..it's so underground that when you mention you're interested in it or might want to gulp a protein shake u either feel the need to make an excuse or avoid people....it's such a minor underground and very working class sport/activity. Unless u grow up with relatives/friends into boxing or perhaps old school weight lifting ...it all is a world away from polite middle class Britain. I think some of it also is the physicality of it, the nature of physical contact and the fact that is about taking something to (polite eyes) an extreme. we're not known for that sort of behaviour so people going all out for something and having it on show is a major challenge...I could go on....still it's interesting to read how Charles is fairing...

[Kymuscleboy]

I can't imagine how surprised your family and friends must have been and how it felt for you to see their reactions. Your brother-in-law may still be a little tallter, but your build puts him to shame. Your forearm makes his biceps look small! I'm looking forward to your continued updates!

[Excelsior]

You know.. all I can think to answer this message with is.....
Are you sure you landed at Heathrow? You mentioned actually HAVING your bags, but normally the black hole that is Terminal 5 eats them!