A very nice compliment.

[brent]

As I was taking a film into Horizon Airline's cargo office today, there was a Fed-Ex guy also making a shipment. when I walked in, he exclaimed, "God, you have some big arms on you! You must workout, but I can tell you are just naturally big too." I told him that yes, I do workout... a lot. He then said that he thinks that if I stay at it I will just keep blowing up in size. I think he was straight, so I didn't want to let him know just how much of a compliment I thought it was. Let's just say I was feeling a little more, er, firm after that! I couldn't wait to get home so I could share it with all of you, it really made my day!

[sexiscriptor]

my verdict: gay enough.

[arpeejay]

I think it's time you updated stats / pix, Brent!

xoxo

Richard

who is very FIRM in this opinion!

[ethernet_jock]

sweet.... you are truly a stud and a gentleman.

I say "gay enough" too and I'm "mostly straight".

Honestly - is any guy truthfully 100% "straight"?

[brent]

Honestly, this guy did not have my gaydar pinging, so I don't think he was gay. Also, it seemed like he didn't have any inhibitions about it, and gay mean are almost always too self-conscious to mention another guys arms. Truly straight guys, like ones that are all the way over on the Kinsey scale, seem to have no problem with this. They tend to say the most incredibly erotic things, and be totally ignorant of how I might interpret what they said!

RPJ, I posted an update in the Summer Growth Challenge thread, on 8/8/2004. I hope that is recent enough.

Take care all, and thank you for responding to my post!
Brent.

[Mdlftr]

O.K.,
Call me clueless (also straight)

I've heard people talk about "gaydar" mostly as a joke. I always thought that it was about as reliable as anybody trying to figure out where somebody else was coming from, and was wrong as often as not.

I mean, I suppose you could assume that the 6' tall, 125# skinny man wearing fishnet stockings and a skirt and garish make up on a city street at 2 a.m. while lisping (did I miss any stereotypes here? I wouldn't want to leave any out) was "homosexual", but how can you be sure? {Maybe he's a cop on Vice}

It's just like saying that a handsome, distinguished, accomplished politician with a beautiful blonde wife and two small children (indicating recent heterosexual activity) "couldn't be gay!" Hello, Governor of New Jersey!!


I mean, what does it mean? Gaydar, as in, "Hmm, I think I'm sensing some sexual interest/compatibility here from this other person,who happens to be the same gender as I am" or "Hmm,this person fits my preconcieved notion/societal ideas/prejudices of what a "gay/homosexual" person is, so therefore, they must be gay."

My opinion is that people get a sexual vibe from other people all the time. It doesn't necessarily mean:
1. OMG! I must assign myself a label: (fill in the blank)
2. Whoo hoo! Hot Date To-night! Yeah, baby!!!
3. Nice ass! (Goes about business)
4. Sincere compliment, followed by going about regular business.


I'd opt for #4 (or #3) myself.......

BTW, Brent, GREAT progress on the summer challenge-- and your arms do look great!


Mdlftr

[brent]

OK, while there might be like no way to calibrate gaydar, some of us have fairly amazing accuracy, IMHO. Yes, I thought Gov. Mc Greevey was gay what few times I saw him, and his blonde wife with 2 children didn't do anything to change that in me. I also thought that Oregon's last governor (Kitzhabber) was gay, and the fact that he married a blonde woman who looked just like Mrs. Mc Greevey right before the election didn't help. Either did the fact that they had their only child a month before his reelection. I can't describe gaydar in much detail other than a very strong feeling of familiarity, but I can tell you that when I was in the Navy, I found it to be near perfect. That's good, because you want to be sure before you hit on someone on the ship! (That was before I met Rob.) I don't think of it as a joke, I think of it as something I have literally staked my life on multiple times, and has never failed me.

Now you've done it. You've let the secret out and the military will be knocking on your door to carry you away into a secret laboratory. To hell with "don't ask don't tell" we'll just snoop them out with our Brent-o-scope.

[brent]

I'm sure lots of people out there have just as good of accuracy, I think it must have something to do with pheromones, or something.

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by LeatherGryphon

...we'll just snoop them out with our Brent-o-scope.

Hey can I borrow that "Brent-o-scope" for a little while?
I think I need to calibrate my gaydar. I promise to return it after I tour the NFL and WCW lockerooms , pretty pl-e-e-e-ase??

[glammaman2000]

i think MOST gay people have"gaydar"(i hope so,for their own sake!)the really good ones can sometimes spot someone who's gay YEARS before they figure it out for themselves!...

[brent]

Originally Posted by ottomun6

... I promise to return it after I tour the NFL and WCW lockerooms ...

There is no more WCW, you can only use it for the WWE locker room!

[vlad]

man, I think I need to have my gaydar turned ON, much less have it calibrated...I never seem to be able to get it right.

[brent]

Vlad, some people have really good gaydar, and other people don't. It's just one of those things. Also you are still very young, I didn't get good until I was 20, and on the ship in the Navy. I tend to think of it as a survival skill that you acquire when God thinks you may need it. Does that make sense?

[vlad]

yes, that's a bit reassuring. I'm not really surprised that mine is, well, not so good at this point because I havn't had much of any contact or relationship with other guys. anyway, thanx

[massingUP]

Rather than start a whole new thread, I figured I'd report on my very own "very nice compliment" here in this one. I hope Brent doesn't mind.

I'm still relatively new to Toronto, so I've only been at my current gym for about 2 months now. And I'm just getting to the point where some of the regulars are moving from the nod-of-acknolwedgement to the grunt-of-acceptance or even actual spoken syllables.

And today, I was in the locker-room changing after my workout and one of the guys who often works out when I'm there came in and started changing near me. We said hi, exchanged names and made smalltalk about the weather (gorgeous) and the weekend (supposed to be even better)... Eventually he makes some "so you're new here eh?" kinda comment and I agree. Then he says the nicest thing I've heard in a really long time. He said: "I've noticed you training here, and I've been really impressed by how hard you push yourself. How intense you get."

Now, he couldn't know it of course, but that's the nicest thing anyone could say to me in the gym. 'Cause my main recurring concern is that I'm not working hard enough, that I'm not pushing myself hard enough. So that was really great to hear.

And when I said "Thanks... I have to work hard because I don't have the genetics to make progress quickly or easily." it got even better. He gave me this sidelong look, somewhat incredulously, and said "Well, you look great."

At any rate, it wasn't a big thing, but just the kind of moment that keeps one inspired. So I thought I'd share...

-- J.

[brent]

James,
Wow! That's a great compliment. Maybe this guy would be a good workout partner? It sounds like he might be interested in you. I don't mind you resurrecting this thread, I always think it's cool to bring an old thread back to life, and this is a great reason to do it! Congratulations!

[claygrant]

Originally Posted by massingUP

He said: "I've noticed you training here, and I've been really impressed by how hard you push yourself. How intense you get."

Now, he couldn't know it of course, but that's the nicest thing anyone could say to me in the gym. 'Cause my main recurring concern is that I'm not working hard enough, that I'm not pushing myself hard enough. So that was really great to hear.

massingUP, that is indeed one of the best compliments I've heard! Is your gym a private gym? At mine there are too many people, and even though I see some regulars, nobody nods or acknowledges each other. Keep up the good work massingUP - you'll have to change your name to "massedUP"!

[massingUP]

Clay,

My gym isn't a private gym, but it is pretty quiet -- which means that the people who go there regularly at the same time all get to know each other, at least by sight. And some of them even talk...

The gym is just a stone's throw from TO's gay village and I gather it used to be "THE" gym for the gay men in town -- it's really quite nicely appointed and was very much the hot spot for the fabulous guys to train.

But as with all things fabulous, its popularity waned and another "hot" gym rose to take its place, so many of its clients have moved on elsewhere. Which means that this place has still got lots of good equipment, some half-decent locker rooms, and nice incandescent lighting on the training floor -- it's just not very busy at all.

Which is fine by me, actually. I can train in peace in a gay-friendly space and not have to fight to get on the squat rack or the pull-down machine even at 6 pm. And you can actually develop a few gym-buddies as well. My only concern is that there might be some danger of it folding -- which happened to me in NYC at my old place, Johnny Lats -- but so far I haven't seen any signs of that.

Anyways, all this to say that yes, people do kinda talk to each other at my current gym -- but then that's been the case at most of the gyms I've ever gone to. After you spend a few months there, you start to get the nods of "hey, I've seen you here before" and some brave types even go for an actual verbal "hey" or a "what's up?" or something like that. I've made some good gym-based friendships that way over the years with various people, men and women, gay and str8.

In fact, my old training buddy and I used to look at it like an anthropological thing -- tracking our "progress" into the various social scenes at our gym in Massachusettts. The day that this funky powerlifter dyke gym-friend drove past me on the street and offered me a lift to the gym, I knew I'd reached a new level... *chuckle*

Anyways. Enough rambling. I should do some work.

-- J.

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by massingUP

... He gave me this sidelong look, somewhat incredulously, and said "Well, you look great."
At any rate, it wasn't a big thing, but just the kind of moment that keeps one inspired. So I thought I'd share...

Well, congrats on the compliment James!! I hope your training goes well.
I only wish I could find a gay-friendly gym too.