Frustrating Muscle Friends

[LittleArm]

I had a bit of a frustrating experience that I'm sure some of you can relate to. Let me start by saying that people don't know about my appreciation for muscle. That's just the way it is. I have a rather muscular friend, I think he weighs around 170-180. I've seen the size of his arms hanging out of T shirts, and no matter what kind of shirt he wears it's always tight around the chest and loose around the waist. I had never seen him without his shirt on until this weekend. A bunch of us went to the beach (including his girlfriend) and I wasn't prepared for seeing just how muscular he really was. His pecs were amazing. There was not an ounce of fat on them and they actually looked spherical. I'm not sure how far they stuck out, but they were completely firm with no sagging whatsoever. Stomach was completely fat and I saw each individual ab perfectly. It was fascinating just to watch him pic up a towel and see his biceps swell up and the pecs twitch just going through the motions.

He looked amazing, and inspirational, and I was too shy to say anything about it.

[ethernet_jock]

I can relate to that... definitely been there a few times. He sounds absolutely astounding.

Does he work out a lot then or is he one of those naturally buff freaks that get us all incredibly jealous?

[brent]

Originally Posted by LittleArm

...He looked amazing, and inspirational, and I was too shy to say anything about it.

So do something about it! Start going to the gym & working out. Build a body like that for yourself, and then share your muscles with other gay friends. Use it as encouragement, i.e.. that's where you can be if you workout for a year.

[glammaman2000]

i've found that almost anyone will be happy to chat with you if you want to talk about how wonderful THEY are.just don't gush,know when to stop&don't get a visible boner.

[bulkinupbig]

Littlearm,

I couldn't agree with you more brent.
Why just admire it?
Get started working out. Start Now!

Remember every professional bodybuilder started training at some point in their lives. It takes dedication, discipline, desire, determination and drive.

As a competitive amatuer bodybuilder, there have been many times when I am approached by people either in the gym or other public places with comments, questions and the occasional reach out and touch. I respond to most questions regarding nutrition, training and diet. The only question that really bugs me however, is this one... "Do you work out?"

Get started now Littlearm, because nothing ventured is nothing gained.
Bulkinupbig

[Corwin]

I agree with Brent and BulkinupBig. You need to turn your desire into motivation.

Originally Posted by glammaman2000

&don't get a visible boner.

This may or may not be possible, and I'm not sure it's necessarily a bad thing. There are lots of threads on lpsg.org about boners in gyms and locker rooms, not just by out gay guys but by straight guys. I suspect it is a context thing and how secure the other person/people are in circumstances when natural desires take over.

[brent]

Originally Posted by bulkinupbig

... The only question that really bugs me however, is this one... "Do you work out?"
...

I know it's an annoying question, but please try (if you can) to be nice to these people. I think most of them are afraid to approach you, and that one lame question is the only one they can think of. When I hear it, a flag goes up in my head. I automatically assume that they feel the way littlearm does, and that I'm the one that has to break the ice to make them feel comfortable. I usually will flex a bicep, thank them for noticing my hard work, and offer a quick feel. I do this because I remember how I felt when I was skinnier.


Scott/Corwin,
I think another reason to pop a boner in the gym is just feeling how pumped up you are. I can easily see a straight guy popping one when benching a lot of weight... I know I do, and I don't think it's just because I'm gay.

[arpeejay]

Originally Posted by bulkinupbig

As a competitive amatuer bodybuilder, there have been many times when I am approached by people either in the gym or other public places with comments, questions and the occasional reach out and touch. I respond to most questions regarding nutrition, training and diet. The only question that really bugs me however, is this one... "Do you work out?"

OK, how's this instead:

"Bulkinupbig, can I bear your children?!!"

Or at least get you to post some headless pix or something?

xoxo

richard

[LittleArm]

It's not just genetics with him, I know he worked hard to build up his physique. You know how there is a difference between just a muscular body and an actual bodybuilder body? That's what surprised me- he actually looked like a bodybuilder. I don't want to exaggerate and say he could step on stage and win a contest next week. He's nothing like that. But with a few weeks of dieting to get some vascularity, a tan, and a body shave I honestly he would look better than some of the lower-placing guys I've seen in competition in the past.

He already inspires me to exercise, as does this group, and I am in much better shape now than I was just 3 months ago. I just feel more inspired now. It would definitely take a lot more than a year for me to look like him, but I'll see what I can do.

[Notbigenuff]

Originally Posted by LittleArm

...He already inspires me to exercise, as does this group, and I am in much better shape now than I was just 3 months ago. I just feel more inspired now. It would definitely take a lot more than a year for me to look like him, but I'll see what I can do.

And I gotta believe that if you asked him for some training advice, he'd be 1) flattered and 2) more than happy to give it! Heck, he might even be willing to take you through some workouts to help you out. As they say, nothing ventured--nothing gained. Good luck!

[brent]

Originally Posted by LittleArm

...It would definitely take a lot more than a year for me to look like him, but I'll see what I can do.

Of course it will, especially with that attitude. I'd like to see you loose some of the self-loathing that I detect from your posts, but that will take time. As your body transforms, so will your attitude toward yourself. Also, bodybuilding takes time. If he's as big as you make him sound, he's probably been at it for a long time. Have patients, and stay in the gym. You will grow if you stay at it, and you still have a long life ahead of you.

[omelissokomos]

Originally Posted by LittleArm

It would definitely take a lot more than a year for me to look like him, but I'll see what I can do.

May I then suggest updating your profile to be more in line with your goals if only to bolster your psychological outlook of yourself. ("Scrawny" is so negative. ) Once you've set your mind to your exercise routine and follow through with dedication and hard work, the physiological changes will happen naturally.

Then somewhere down the road, you may even want to use a new forum ID.

[LittleArm]

Self-loathing? Oh no, you're getting me all wrong. I actually have a very positive but realistic attitude. I see guys online who have never even driven past a gym saying "I want to be Mr. Olympia someday!" (only a tiny exaggeration.) That's not going to happen. I call myself "LittleArm" because my arms ARE little! That's not a judgement against them, it's a matter of scientific fact. If I kept telling myself "my arms look pretty good" I wouldn't have incentive to work on them. But by acknowledging where I am now, I am more motivated to improve myself, which I have already been doing. And maybe, by being honest and objective about myself (and frankly just being silly with the "scrawny" comment), some other thin guys might be able relate a bit.

That's just the way my mind works. Next year, I'll sign up as MediumArm, and the following year I'll be BigArm.

[ethernet_jock]

haha!! Looking forward to seeing that "bigarm"...

It may surprise you to think that you might be motivation to me... but you are. It's kind of a - shit, if he can do it - I'd better get off my ass and work a lot harder... kind of motivation. But it's still great.

Thanks!!

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by brent

I know it's an annoying question, but please try (if you can) to be nice to these people. I think most of them are afraid to approach you, and that one lame question is the only one they can think of. When I hear it, a flag goes up in my head. I automatically assume that they feel the way littlearm does, and that I'm the one that has to break the ice to make them feel comfortable. I usually will flex a bicep, thank them for noticing my hard work, and offer a quick feel. I do this because I remember how I felt when I was skinnier.

Way to go, Brent! You have no way of knowing who might be encouraged and inspired by your positive accepting attitude. It's incredibly hard to strike up a conversation with someone in the gym, let alone someone who has a build you admire--what if he wants to introduce his fist to your mouth? Probably doesn't ever happen, but people get all kinds of emotional barriers up in their heads when they are going out of their comfort zone. I agree that it's probably a <lame> icebreaker, but, what else can you say? "....Uh, excuse me, but you have the body that I've lusted for in my dreams my whole entire life. If I could but look like you, even for an instant, I would die happy." --NOT!



Scott/Corwin,
I think another reason to pop a boner in the gym is just feeling how pumped up you are. I can easily see a straight guy popping one when benching a lot of weight... I know I do, and I don't think it's just because I'm gay.

...Ahem! As a straight guy, let me, um....Concur in that statement! Getting pumped and seeing yourself getting bigger IS boner time!
I am MAN, hear me roar!

[glammaman2000]

anybody with a Bugs Bunny avatar is a BIG man in my book!

[ottomun6]

Originally Posted by LittleArm

... Next year, I'll sign up as MediumArm, and the following year I'll be BigArm.

And we can't stress it enough, take some pics!
Show us your before, during and after pics. It will be our pleasure to encourage you along the way.

[not2bright]

Originally Posted by brent

I usually will flex a bicep, thank them for noticing my hard work, and offer a quick feel.

Please feel free to hang out at my gym!

[brent]

Originally Posted by not2bright

Please feel free to hang out at my gym!

My membership is with 24 Hour Fitness, but I don't even know what city, or even state you are in.

[not2bright]

Originally Posted by brent

My membership is with 24 Hour Fitness, but I don't even know what city, or even state you are in.

I used to belong to 24 when I lived in California. But now I'm in Michigan.

Nonetheless, I really admire your willingness to "share!"