Fantasy fulfilled...and yet I'm disappointed

[Tunsoffun]

I'm in the midst of an experience that I feel compelled to share:

Ever since I can remember, I've fantasized about dating a guy who was hugely tall, muscled, and well hung. Then, about one month ago, I met him. Let's call him Matt. Matt is 6'5", 285 lbs., and hung bigger than any guy I've ever seen. I didn't even know dicks came this big. Or nuts, for that matter. Let me take a moment to make it clear that this is NOT A FANTASY. I swear Matt and his stats are very real. And what's more, he fell for me, head over heels, right away.

So Matt falls for me and we start dating and the sex is amazing, and I revel in walking down the street with him, hanging onto his 20" arms while everyone stares in awe. He is everything I've ever fantasized about and yet the deeper he falls for me, the more I find myself losing interest.

The weird thing is, it's not like our personalities aren't well suited. We actually get along quite well. Very well matched. It's just...his size, while amazing in my fantasies is so damn overwhelming in reality.

It's now been a month, and I'm pretty much over Matt. Those HUGE arms, which once made me hard just looking at them, now seem like instruments of strangulation while I'm trying to sleep next to him at night. His huge dick is SO big I can't do anything with it. And all we ever seem to talk about is what he eats and what the temperature is (he sweats from the steroids) and how much he can bench and it's like...alright already! I'm over it!

So needless to say, I'm going to end things with him, but the bigger issue (no pun intended) is is: I don't know where to go from here. As I say, muscles and size have always been the basis of my sexuality. It was always "the bigger the better." And now I've had the BIGGEST and...well I guess you could say it sort of made me sick. Like it was too much of a good thing.

Suddenly, huge muscles and the giant dicks aren't turning me on as much. I used to walk down the street and stare at every guy who had muscle but now I'm losing interest. I don't know what I want anymore! But I'm only 25 years old! What does this all mean? Where do I go from here? Can anyone relate? What good is a fantasy if the real thing is no good?

Signed,

Fantasy Slain

[Bull]

I had to laugh at your post. It is so often true that once we experience our fantasies in reality, they cease to have any fascination for us. It is only the things we can't get that continue to enrapture us. It's human nature my friend, or at least the nature of men.

I haven't had exactly your experience. I never had a massive bodybuilder in love with me. But I've lived with them, known many of them, and like you, I now feel much less attracted to them. The day-to-day reality of living with what it takes to build and maintain all that is far from pleasant, and their lives are unutterably boring. One of the qualities it takes to build and keep a huge body is a limitless capacity for monotony. For anyone with the normal ration of imagination and restlessness, it's a dog's life.

Don't think of this as a problem. In fact, you are very lucky to have gotten this out of your system at a young age. Now you can start going after guys for the qualities that matter, like character, intelligence, and so forth. You are going to find that being with a guy who is fascinating is a lot more satisfying than being with one who is merely hot.

[msman]

Hey, read about your problem. Have you tried to get into a intresting conversation with the guy about something other than how much he can bench? Like something that intrested you on a mental stand point, because by the way you frased it, it looks like you never tried to let him relly get to know you (pity).

[Lifter73]

Originally Posted by Tunsoffun

I'm in the midst of an experience that I feel compelled to share:

Ever since I can remember, I've fantasized about dating a guy who was hugely tall, muscled, and well hung. Then, about one month ago, I met him. Let's call him Matt. Matt is 6'5", 285 lbs., and hung bigger than any guy I've ever seen. I didn't even know dicks came this big. Or nuts, for that matter. Let me take a moment to make it clear that this is NOT A FANTASY. I swear Matt and his stats are very real. And what's more, he fell for me, head over heels, right away.

So Matt falls for me and we start dating and the sex is amazing, and I revel in walking down the street with him, hanging onto his 20" arms while everyone stares in awe. He is everything I've ever fantasized about and yet the deeper he falls for me, the more I find myself losing interest.

The weird thing is, it's not like our personalities aren't well suited. We actually get along quite well. Very well matched. It's just...his size, while amazing in my fantasies is so damn overwhelming in reality.

It's now been a month, and I'm pretty much over Matt. Those HUGE arms, which once made me hard just looking at them, now seem like instruments of strangulation while I'm trying to sleep next to him at night. His huge dick is SO big I can't do anything with it. And all we ever seem to talk about is what he eats and what the temperature is (he sweats from the steroids) and how much he can bench and it's like...alright already! I'm over it!

So needless to say, I'm going to end things with him, but the bigger issue (no pun intended) is is: I don't know where to go from here. As I say, muscles and size have always been the basis of my sexuality. It was always "the bigger the better." And now I've had the BIGGEST and...well I guess you could say it sort of made me sick. Like it was too much of a good thing.

Suddenly, huge muscles and the giant dicks aren't turning me on as much. I used to walk down the street and stare at every guy who had muscle but now I'm losing interest. I don't know what I want anymore! But I'm only 25 years old! What does this all mean? Where do I go from here? Can anyone relate? What good is a fantasy if the real thing is no good?

Signed,

Fantasy Slain

Well, you know the old saying "be careful what you wish for, you may get it!"

Well, it may mean it is because you are 25 and your tastes are changing. And mistaking infatuation/lust for love is not uncommon. If he had REALLY floated your boat I would think that you would have really discussed it with him. In any case you didn't and you are going to end it..which is good.

Hey maybe YOU want to be the BIG GUY in your relationships?

In any case, send your ex in my direction so I can see what you are talking about! I have absolutely NO problem with huge overblown muscle guys


D

[BigSteve6ft3]

Did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason all he talks about is how much he can bench, etc., is that he thinks that's what you want? Your early infatuation with his size and muscles would probably lead him to believe that.

Seems like you haven't really given the guy a chance. Before burning your bridges with him, why not let him know you really don't want to talk about his muscles and workouts ALL the time, and, as Msman says, try engaging him in some more intellectually stimulating topic. Or just go out and have some fun. I'd suggest putting the muscles and the sex on the back burner for a while and see if there is any basis for a real friendship. If, after giving it a fair trial, there's nothing really there, then end it. But if the big guy has fallen for you as hard as you say, it seems kind of fickle and a bit cruel to send him packing after only a month because ... why? ... because you're over your initial physical-attraction honeymoon period? Maybe after letting things cool for a bit, and relating to him as a person and a friend for a while, rather than as a sex object, you might find yourself lustfully ogling those huge arms and big dick again. Or maybe not.

[DaBigGuy1]

Originally Posted by BigSteve6ft3

Did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason all he talks about is how much he can bench, etc., is that he thinks that's what you want? Your early infatuation with his size and muscles would probably lead him to believe that.

Seems like you haven't really given the guy a chance. Before burning your bridges with him, why not let him know you really don't want to talk about his muscles and workouts ALL the time, and, as Msman says, try engaging him in some more intellectually stimulating topic. Or just go out and have some fun. I'd suggest putting the muscles and the sex on the back burner for a while and see if there is any basis for a real friendship. If, after giving it a fair trial, there's nothing really there, then end it. But if the big guy has fallen for you as hard as you say, it seems kind of fickle and a bit cruel to send him packing after only a month because ... why? ... because you're over your initial physical-attraction honeymoon period? Maybe after letting things cool for a bit, and relating to him as a person and a friend for a while, rather than as a sex object, you might find yourself lustfully ogling those huge arms and big dick again. Or maybe not.

Very well put!

I know for me, I have met my share of really big muscle guys, and there simply was not an attraction. But I then finally met THE one that not only attracted me physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. We have been together for many many years now and the feeling still hasn't changed. In fact it has gotten better and better as we got closer. Love him to death!

It would be a shame if you didn't just tell him what was on your mind. At this point it is a nothing to lose situation, right? I'm not saying that you SHOULD be with him, just tell him exactly how you feel.....you'd be surprised what you may learn about him, and about yourself in the process.

Ron III---III

[tonybits]

May I ask why you felt in your fantasies that this was what you are looking for? From there I would want to know what is missing from what you dreamt about? Is he a meat head, no common interests, to much into himself, the game of chase is done and that thrill is over with, etc???

My guess is that he is not exactly what you expected him to be and quite frankly not to many men are. This from my own experences in life. The question is are you willing to do what work at it and compromise or just give up the whole situation completely? If you do not give it a fair chance or self one, are you sure you won't regret it?

Just my spin, hopefully it works out what ever the out come will be.



Tony

[cozman]

Why do I NEVER have THESE types of problems?!?!?

[Mdlftr]

I agree with many of the comments here that are along the vein of "give the guy and the situation a chance."

It could also be, {and I'm being frank here} that YOU aren't ready to settle down. Maybe you went after the "big fish" (literally), never thinking you'd catch it, and, now that you have, you want to move on to the next challenge.

At age 25, most people aren't really ready to settle down/get married/make a long term committment/whatever.

Your "problem" (HA HA) is that you have "achieved" what is supposed to be a major milestone of gay "Hawtness", and you find that....he's just like you (or 3 or 4 of you). He has needs and wants, you have needs and wants, that's life.

Too many people spend too much time focusing on the chase and not on what happens when you catch each other. Other people don't make up for deficiencies in ourselves. They can complement us, they can provide us mental and physical stimulation and pleasure, they can provide us companionship, they can make us miserable. They let us know we're alive.

My advice is to spend time getting to know him as a friend (other than his "hotness" what attracted you to him in the first place?). What are your common interests? What are your common goals? Do you want to build a life together? Do you want to raise a family together? Those are the kinds of questions heterosexual couples ask themselves. No reason you can't do the same.

Good luck, you lucky b*stard!



Mdlftr

Who wouldn't mind a REALLY built work out partner.....

[musclegod]

I'm a little struck by how naive a lot of people are about their muscle fantasies. I get approached all the time by men and women who are fasinated with my muscles. Sometimes they want a relationship, somtimes advice on how to grow, sometimes worship. It never fails to amaze me how little they understand about what it takes to maintain over 300lbs of lean mass and keep growing. I feed at least 8 times a day and sometimes 10-12 times a day when in a big growth phase. Training and cardio are good for 3 hours a day. Sleep of 10+ hours is desirable.

Lot's of people are fasinated by my body yet have no clue of the lifestyle. You don't need to be a genius to recognize that life is all about eating, sleeping and training (and going to the bathroom a lot). Figure it out for yourself. Food is a two hour event and is about the quality and quantity. Booze is off limitss as nights out clubing. Those just slow down or worse reverse growing.

I'll digress for a moment and also comment that some of the fantasy stories are rediculous and reflect the how naive a lot of those who are attracted to muscle really are. Magic spells, pills with instant results, special machines, etc reflect a simple minded attitude that muscle just happens or some people are born that way or some drug is all that's necessary. A real turn on is a story where some guy, small, weak, fat, or genetically gifted...whatever, gets serious and starts training and eating and is obsessed to grow and dominate. That's the real world! That's the world I know bodybuilders live in.

I love training and eating and spending a day doing nothing other than that. I love being alone with my muscles and playing with them. I'm open to others playing with them and experiencing their mass and power. I'm not into someone trying to change me or telling me what I should do. If you really want to spend your time with a muscle guy consider whether you want the lifestyle. I'd love to meet someon who was into my muscle and would get into my growth and spend all their time feeding me and servicing me. What do people expect? They're attracted to the raw dominance and power but don't want to submit to helping maintain and build it. Come on! Get real! Of course the musclegod rules! It's the natural order of things! He must be served! He must continue to grow and dominate!

[Spooky]

Originally Posted by Tunsoffun

I'm in the midst of an experience that I feel compelled to share:

Ever since I can remember, I've fantasized about dating a guy who was hugely tall, muscled, and well hung. Then, about one month ago, I met him. Let's call him Matt. Matt is 6'5", 285 lbs., and hung bigger than any guy I've ever seen. I didn't even know dicks came this big. Or nuts, for that matter. Let me take a moment to make it clear that this is NOT A FANTASY. I swear Matt and his stats are very real. And what's more, he fell for me, head over heels, right away.

So Matt falls for me and we start dating and the sex is amazing, and I revel in walking down the street with him, hanging onto his 20" arms while everyone stares in awe. He is everything I've ever fantasized about and yet the deeper he falls for me, the more I find myself losing interest.

The weird thing is, it's not like our personalities aren't well suited. We actually get along quite well. Very well matched. It's just...his size, while amazing in my fantasies is so damn overwhelming in reality.

It's now been a month, and I'm pretty much over Matt. Those HUGE arms, which once made me hard just looking at them, now seem like instruments of strangulation while I'm trying to sleep next to him at night. His huge dick is SO big I can't do anything with it. And all we ever seem to talk about is what he eats and what the temperature is (he sweats from the steroids) and how much he can bench and it's like...alright already! I'm over it!

So needless to say, I'm going to end things with him, but the bigger issue (no pun intended) is is: I don't know where to go from here. As I say, muscles and size have always been the basis of my sexuality. It was always "the bigger the better." And now I've had the BIGGEST and...well I guess you could say it sort of made me sick. Like it was too much of a good thing.

Suddenly, huge muscles and the giant dicks aren't turning me on as much. I used to walk down the street and stare at every guy who had muscle but now I'm losing interest. I don't know what I want anymore! But I'm only 25 years old! What does this all mean? Where do I go from here? Can anyone relate? What good is a fantasy if the real thing is no good?

Signed,

Fantasy Slain

Classic example of the difference between fantasy and reality. I wrote a story on it on the forum, about this exact issue of how fantasy is necessarily subtracted from reality.

Interesting post.

[Mad Dog]

Originally Posted by musclegod

. . . I'll digress for a moment and also comment that some of the fantasy stories are rediculous [sic] and reflect the how naive a lot of those who are attracted to muscle really are. Magic spells, pills with instant results, special machines, etc reflect a simple minded attitude that muscle just happens or some people are born that way or some drug is all that's necessary. A real turn on is a story where some guy, small, weak, fat, or genetically gifted...whatever, gets serious and starts training and eating and is obsessed to grow and dominate. That's the real world! That's the world I know bodybuilders live in.
. . . Come on! Get real! Of course the musclegod rules! It's the natural order of things! He must be served! He must continue to grow and dominate!

While a lot of that post bothered me, I'll address the two points that I think deserve to be called out the most. First of all, I think it's pretty rude to call all muscle growth stories that don't involve lots of training and dieting "naive." I mean, of course that's not how it works in the real world. But do you go to a science fiction or fantasy movie and complain about that's not how life really is? Muscle growth stories are just entertainment, and are primarily erotic fantasy. That involves the fact that these fictional characters can fuck around all they want and not get HIV or AIDS. Is that just as naive? Would it be better if every story here was a 100% reflection of the real world?

Second of all, the last thing you said struck me as a little self-centered. I was on board with you saying that anyone dating a bodybuilder needs to be mindful of what it takes to be in a relationship with one. No one should be trying to change anyone in a relationship. But automatically putting that person in a serving role and saying that's the way things should be? I'd be glad I'm not dating you, that's for damn sure.

[musclegod]

Makes two of us!!!

[wolfotehmoon]

Make it 3!

...Wait, does it work that way? O_o

I agree with Mad Dog, though. Regardless of how big you are, the moment you start EXPECTING food on the table when you get home is the moment you're gonna have to learn how to cook yourself if you don't want your precious muscles to atrophy. If we're gonna talk about realism, the most overlooked unrealistic thing in stories on here is the idea that you can get away with "dominating" someone nonconsensually because you flexed your bicep in their face. *eyeroll*

[Gene]

You're 25, and already had the big muscle guy of your dreams and now you're over it.

This, my dear, is a fine example of the word "jaded".

Be careful what you wish for. And now, what has your selfish vanity done to the partner you are about to cast away because you're tired of him because you didn't understand what relationships between people are supposed to be about?

"Ooh, pretty and I want it!"

Twink

[AS2000]

Back to the original poster...

Based on what you wrote, Matt really fell for you. And it sounds like you fell for him, too. Then again, it was only a month. Really, that's not a very long time at all.

Ultimately, based on my own experience, what makes a relationship work is hard to put into words. I call it "clicking", others call it a spark, whatever. With my current bf, we've got it. Somehow, we work well together, in a way that goes beyond anything you can easily describe. In contrast, the last guy I dated was a nice guy, cute in his way, etc. I have nothing bad to say about him. But we didn't click. And we both realized it. So even though objectively there was nothing wrong with the relationship (no fights or anything like that) it just didn't work out. And we both parted amicably.

In your case, you say you and Matt get along well. But beyond that, it sounds like you're bored. The huge man was exciting at first, and now you find something lacking. If Matt's size was the only thing that really brought the two of you together, then that's not too surprising (now that practical difficulties have cropped up). And that would also make it unsurprising that those are the things you guys talk about (bench press, etc.)

Ultimately, do you think maybe if you got to know Matt better, beyond his body, you might like him better? The man beneath the muscles, I guess. The other things he's interested in, besides his bodybuilding. I mean, it could very well be that he talks about those things because he figures that's what you're interested in - and it sounds like he'd be right, three or four weeks back. And if you learn a bit more about him, maybe he'll learn a bit more about you, and you guys can figure out if you have something there to work from, or if it's really just a case of infatuation that's faded.

[nypup2train]

Originally Posted by Mad Dog

[COLOR="Silver"][...][/COLOR] of course that's not how it works in the real world. But do you go to a science fiction or fantasy movie and complain about that's not how life really is? Muscle growth stories are just entertainment, and are primarily erotic fantasy. That involves the fact that these fictional characters can fuck around all they want and not get HIV or AIDS. Is that just as naive? Would it be better if every story here was a 100% reflection of the real world?

Bingo. I had a family member (still have, technically, I suppose) who would from time to time get her knickers in a twist about some perceived "unrealistic" component of some movie or whatnot. My point was always the same, "Of COURSE it's not all "realistic"! If I wanted to see nothing but Real Life, I'd just go look out the window!"

Originally Posted by Mad Dog

Second of all, the last thing you said struck me as a little self-centered. [COLOR="Silver"][...][/COLOR]

See, now here I think you're in danger of tripping over your own point. I agree in principle with all of your responses to musclegod's posting. But rather than taking issue, I personally found it more comfortable to simply take what he wrote (and indeed a lot of what's posted to this particular site, with its particular audience) as more like an "in-character" contribution to an idealized/fantasized version of the situation, rather than a strictly real-world one.

Granted, this isn't the story section of the forums, and the original post to the thread was clearly intended to work in a "real-world" context. (Though it is more than reasonable to take even that with a grain of salt.) This isn't Wikipedia (or, better example, Memory Alpha), we don't have clearly-defined, extensive policies on Real-World Context. And on a site such as this, by its very nature, the "fantasy-world" element can always potentially crop up in even the most serious discussion. It's easier, and I suspect healthier (for one's own emotional state), to err on the side of assuming that's where someone is coming from, and try to just laugh it off as a contextually- (perhaps environmentally-)predictable embellishment of reality.

(So, I guess I'm making the case that while musclegod may be a total self-absorbed turd, ya gotta consider he also may simply play one in that post.)

[Eager Muscle]

"The day-to-day reality of living with what it takes to build and maintain all that is far from pleasant, and their lives are unutterably boring. One of the qualities it takes to build and keep a huge body is a limitless capacity for monotony. For anyone with the normal ration of imagination and restlessness, it's a dog's life."

To each his own, but as for me I'm the nurturing sort, so while I'm well acquainted with the monotony, ritual and daily discipline of adult life, I would love to nurture a loving partner's competitive bodybuilding aspirations. Of course, it doesn't hurt that I've gotten the process of prepacking meals of chicken breast, egg whites, brown rice & oatmeal for myself down pat. In reality, that's one of the reasons bodybuilders seek other bodybuilders - it's not just for the sex but for the mutual interest, understanding and respect.

Let's say your tastes and fantasies switch from bodybuilders to, say, bass players and in five years, lawyers. Believe you me, there are drawbacks to relationships with them too. If you familiarize yourself with the realities inherent within certain relationships you'll be less likely to be disappointed.

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by Eager Muscle

"."

To each his own, Let's say your tastes and fantasies switch from bodybuilders to, say, bass players and in five years, lawyers. Believe you me, there are drawbacks to relationships with them too. If you familiarize yourself with the realities inherent within certain relationships you'll be less likely to be disappointed.

Lawyers!??!! Oh, HORRORS!

[prepare for late evenings of extreme detail as he recites the latest case, followed by a pro and con discussion (called "moot court") as he practices oral arguments ad nauseum. You may finally fall asleep from the tedium...Be forewarned!]

Mdlftr

[Eager Muscle]

MDLIFTER, YOU FORGOT:

Lawyers - Cheap. Work too late billing hours - THEN you gotta listen to the arguments. I didn't yawn because I found the arguments boring, but because I provided thoughtful, insightful commentary after ten o'clock in the friggin' p.m.


AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, LET'S REVISIT MY OWN PERSONAL HORRIFIC DATING/RELATIONSHIP HISTORY (FORGIVE THE GENERALIZATIONS):

Doctors - On call ($^# pagers!), God complex, always have to be right, also cheap.

Bass players - Weird hours, constant practice, crappy day job (includes lawyers!), too much sticky product in the bathroom (at least I thought it was product).

Fashion designers - They're all slightly crazy by definition.

Coop board presidents - See Fashion designers.

Working actors - Bicoastal, road tours, mildly neurotic, and if they're working would rather do something else, like direct, produce, paint, or cut an album.

Non-working actors (i.e. service industry) - All they want to do is act. Direct correlation between age and maintenance required.

Bankers - Regardless of market, too glued to C-Span, PBS, CNN, etc. Note: If you're NOT the nurturing type, this is NOT the time to have a relationship with a banker.

Models - Easily distracted.

IT Guys - Deceptively stable, somewhat frustrated.

Rabbis - Too conflicted.


SO MY POINT, TONSOFFUN, IS:

Every relationship has its share of frustration and compromise. Now you know why I think nurturing a competitive bodybuilder is a piece of cake. They should only be as simple as they're stereotyped. Hey, Tank. Bring it on! Daddy's got 4 lbs of chicken breast in the broiler!

[arpeejay]

No relationship is perfect.

Every relationship is work.

In general, the more work you put in, the more you get out.

xoxo

Richard

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by Eager Muscle

MDLIFTER, YOU FORGOT:

Lawyers - Cheap. Work too late billing hours - THEN you gotta listen to the arguments. I didn't yawn because I found the arguments boring, but because I provided thoughtful, insightful commentary after ten o'clock in the friggin' p.m.


Every relationship has its share of frustration and compromise. Now you know why I think nurturing a competitive bodybuilder is a piece of cake. They should only be as simple as they're stereotyped. Hey, Tank. Bring it on! Daddy's got 4 lbs of chicken breast in the broiler!

Eager, you NAILED it! Especially the bit about lawyers!

I laughed my a$$ off!@

Picture this: A bodybuilding LAWYER!!

"Hey boy!, Here's 4 pounds of chicken breast to chow down on while you're reliving your latest 30-page memo!"

Bwaha ha ha!!

Mdlftr

[oborochan]

i'm gonna turn 30 soon, and a few years ago, back when i was around your age. All i could think about is how am i gonna get myself a muscular bf, and then i got myself one.
The thing is i got so blinded by his looks that i noticed we had nothing in common, and it wore off after awhile.
I say, don't break up with the guy just yet. Try and see if you can "get over" his appearance.
In my case, I realized I like 'em muscular guys in "small dozes". I mean, it's a real turn on, but I'd rather keep them as fantasies. I guess when you're really obsessed with muscle, you can't see anything BUT that.

[Mdlftr]

Years ago, I read "Letters to Penthouse," and they always started something like this.

"I am a junior at a well-known national university. I am a scholarship athlete, but cannot tell you which one for fear of breaching confidentiality. I have never written to Penthouse before, but I HAD to write and telll you my latest experience. I SWEAR that this is true."

Then there is some bizarro sex fantasy which always arises (double meaning intended) out of a normal college scenario like studying in the library, studying in the dorm, etc....

"...when all of a sudden the second of the two bodacious cheerleader twins giggled and said, "My, how BIG you are! Are you THIS big all over?" Whereupon we resumed studying for our human anatomy final.."



Sound familar?

"...Then, about one month ago, I met him. Let's call him Matt. Matt is 6'5", 285 lbs., and hung bigger than any guy I've ever seen. I didn't even know dicks came this big. Or nuts, for that matter. Let me take a moment to make it clear that this is NOT A FANTASY. I swear Matt and his stats are very real..."

[tallmuscledman]

You were basing a relationship on his physical qualities, that's why it was doomed for failure from the beginning. I have been there, and it just doesn't work. The only type of long lasting relationships that work are those built on respect, love, and some mutual "click" that happens between the two of you. When that happens my friend, you don't care what his body looks like or how big his dick is. And then you will be happy.

[BGryphon18]

I would try and pipe up about the "Never judge a book by its cover" cliche, but to be honest, I think EVERYONE does it, if only for a moment.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that the first thing I look for is how well built a guy is. I can't help it, I can't fight it, but I don't DWELL on it. I've been VERY fortunate to know some GREAT looking guys in my life who after a while turned out to be total jerks (if they were even legit in the first place). I've also been even MORE fortunate to know some AMAZING guys who may not be top winners in any bodybuilding shows, or professional models, but who have real character and substance that makes them super to me.

One such guy I met here a couple years ago and just recently got to finally meet in person when we attended the Universe Weekend in Miami. First of all, I wouldn't have even gone if not for him and going with him made the experience even more fun. He has competed in a show himself so it was nice to get the "behind the scenes" that I could rely on, rather than a fantasy image.

Secondly, he's one of (I'm sure) many sponsors to someone you might know of... Jiri Borkovec. This was an awesome (though short-lived) experience as I got to meet with and chat with him for a few minutes inbetween his crammed schedule (another thing I didn't realize about the whole thing, is the INSANE amounts of prep work, and scheduled events for competitors). What was most inspring for me was that even though he didn't know me, he was still very nice, polite and just liked to relax and chat with people. Shame that he didn't win his weight-class as he most DEFINITELY was the top competitor... but even the judges can miss out on spotting a real winner now and then

Anyway, the reason that I'm posting this here is that in a way, I finally got to live out a fantasy of mine and that was to go to a live contest and get to see all those huge pumped, hot studs for a weekend. Plus since we were staying at the host hotel, I got to see them EVERYWHERE! (And YES I do have pictures of the contest and one or two shots of guys around the hotel that I will post once I get my film developed). What I was most shocked about was the fact that even though I was there and it was a dream come true, it didn't have the impact on me I was expecting. I wasn't salivating and tenting my shorts the whole time. In fact even while talking to (and getting pictures with) a couple guys, they were so nice and normal that it was just a perk that they had such amazing bodies!

Sometimes reality will never live up to fantasy, however sometimes fantasy can't live up to reality either. Maybe he wasn't the right guy for you and maybe you'll find someone even better who will make you happy which I think everyone deserves in life. I'm still waiting for mine, but in the mean time, I've learned to keep my eyes open for anything as you never know when someone will surprise you!