The Magic Shower

[Musclejock855]

One day the three friends, Mike, Ryan, and Jake wanted to go for a swim at the YMCA. Thats where they went to have fun and workout. But the workout part that they "tried" to do really didn't help much. Yes, these guys were alot of fun and had a great personality but, they did not look too hot. It wasn't what all the girls wanted. All the girls wanted the clean cut muscle jocks that played every sport you could think of. And that was for sure not these guys. But they still tried hard to work out and have fun being who they were. And believe it or not, they still tried to go after the girls.
But after their swim that one day Mike said, "Let's got hit the showers and go home, what do you say?" Jake said, "But, we didn't even do our workout yet." "So what. We have been working out for two months and still haven't had any results yet. That's pretty sad.", said Mike. Just then Ryan said, "I'm with Mike. Lets just go home and maybe if you guys are up to it later we can go see a movie." "OK," Jake said. "If you all are to lazy to do our workout today lets go to the showers and then we can all go see a movie! Ok?" They all agreed.
During the shower Mike asked the others if they had any soap and they said no. But to use some from the despenser on the wall. So he did. At this time they all had soap in their eyes from shampooing their [color=black]hair [/color]</SPAN>. Soon as Mike rinsed his hair </SPAN>out and got the soap out of his eyes he looked next to him and noticed that his friends were no longer next to him. He then shouted "Jake?" "Yes?", said a voice right next to him. "Oh, I'm sorry is your name Jake too? I was looking for my friend." Jake did not have the soap out of his eyes yet. "What are you talking about Mike it's me I am right here!", Jake said. Just then Jake washed out the soap from his eyes. And then looked to find out that the Mike that was talking to him was not the Mike that was there before. Then Ryan looked at both of them and himself to find that now instead of being fat and cool they were now thin and geekey. "Oh my goodness!", Ryan said. "It must have been something in the soap." Jake then said "Well, Thin is good but we need to put on some muscle to look cool and impress the chicks!" They were all amazed by their change. Next they all went to dry off.
As Mike was drying off his hair with his towel he noticed himself being turned on by the guy that was drying off next to him. Who was he. Then he finished drying off the rest of him, and as he did he then noticed himself. He was built. Riped! He was a muscle jock. Just like the guy next to him. As Mike felt he massive chest and all the muscles of his six-pack he started to be turned on more by himself. Just then the idea hit him. Was the same thing happening that happened in the shower? He had a way to test his idea. He looked at the other muscle jock standing next to him and said, "Hey Ryan?" "Yea?" ,Ryan asked. "Look at yourself. Look at me. Now look at Jake. We are muscle freeks!", said Mike Jake also heard what Mike said and they all looked at each other. Each of them started to have a hard on. But at the same time they were all excited about their new looks. Jake then said, "We're hot. We don't need to work out now. Lets all go to the movies and find ourselves a hot chick!" They all agreed. Then Ryan said, "Come on muscle jock friends, lets get out of here!" They were all so happy with their new look and muscle they all wanted to leave their shirts off so that they could show it off to everyone.
And that night when they got to the movies, the girls were all over them. They even got in for free because all the girls offered to pay their way in to the movies. It was a dream come true!!

[Mad Dog]

it was a nice idea, but not only was the writing pretty weak, but you attached photos to it that sorta take away our ability to imagine them all for ourselves.

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by Mad Dog

it was a nice idea, but not only was the writing pretty weak, but you attached photos to it that sorta take away our ability to imagine them all for ourselves.

I don't mind the attached photos. Question for musclejock855: did the photos inspire the story or did you look for photos to go with a story?

As for the writing, I recommend looking at the Primer posted in the "Muscle Growth Fantasies and Story Ideas" section. musclejock855 is a young writer and he'll get better with time. He's got some good ideas. Personally, I would hope that we would encourage him along and make constructive suggestions rather than simply criticizing his writing. For example, one suggestion might be, "rather than relying on pictures, use words to describe the pictures." Also, tell us more about the characters feelings -- did they feel anything when they changed? Heavier? Stronger?

Just my $0.02

[Mad Dog]

Personally, I would hope that we would encourage him along and make constructive suggestions rather than simply criticizing his writing.

I know. I was just in a hurry.

[Musclejock855]

Thank you guys for your feedback and I know you all mean well. And I enjoy all types of muscle stories. But when I create my own I try to be a little different than some of the others. Maybe add something in the story that relates to my life but is not all true to hide personal information. And to answer your question Corwin, it was kind of both. I think it might have been the one picture that inspired me to write this story and then I just looked for the rest to go along with it. I hope you enjoyed my story. I like to use pictures in my stories because it adds a little different touch to the story. But then there are also times when I like to make stories without pictures like the next story that I will be posting in parts for example. It will be called "Mario's Gift". So be sure to check it out as well and let me know what you think.