Ooh-rah-1

philat99 · #1 November 7th, 2009, 06:47 PM

OOH-RAH - 1

There I sat in the local truck stop eating breakfast and kidding around with my dear waitress friend, Irma. She knew I was retired military, but not much more. We never really shared many details of our lives - just enough to be able to joke around.

Retired! I didn?t really want to retire! USMC Major Thomas Banks, age 58, 385 pounds (85 pounds overweight since retirement), 6?3?, still muscular as hell, and on full disability from blowing my right knee squatting 1200 pounds, foolishly with no spotters. Here I was, just sipping my coffee, when through the door came a USMC uniform clothing one of the most muscular mfs I?ve ever seen - a corporal - and heading my direction. Oh crap! They found me!

Oh, yeah! He came right over to me. I was the only guy there that didn?t look like a trucker or one of the local farmers. I suppose the sport shirt and huge camos were a give-away.

?Are you Thomas Banks?? (I guess he didn?t have much info about me.)

?Yes, I am. Why do you ask?? (feigning surprise and cluelessness)

?I tried your house and your neighbors said I should come here. Would you please show me some identification? (He was at least polite!)

I proceeded to show him my driver?s license, but his attention was drawn to the USMC id card which listed me as ?Major.? His quasi-friendly nonchalant attitude changed in a second as he snapped to attention and addressed, ?Sir!? At this point he handed me a sealed envelope that I could only guess was from...

?from General Thackeray, Sir!?

?At ease, soldier, before you split that uniform in half!?

Sure enough, it was from good old Thack himself, requesting me to return to training facilities, at this time unnamed. ?Give me your cell phone, Corporal.? I called the number listed on the ?request.?

?Thack, how the hell are you? and what?s up with this personal communique? and this nearly obscenely muscular corporal standing in front of me??

?Tom, I wanted you to see him personally. He?s one of our latest projects. You know that you were one of our first, and you were mighty obscene, too, when you retired. I?m pretty sure we can help you out with your knee and you can help us out, as well. Test him out. I?ll wait.?

?Here and now, Thack? We?re in a public restaurant!?

?Here and now!?

?What?s your name, corporal??

?Sir! Corporal James Michaels, Sir!?

I stood up. ?You know what I?m going to do next, Corporal James Michaels??

?Sir! No, sir!?

?First, ?AH-Tehn-SHUN!?? As he snapped to attention, all eyes in the truck stop focused on us, as if they hadn?t already! ?I?m going to place my hands under your arm pits, so tense up!? (Thank God I had my knee brace on!)
With that I lifted this 6? 325 pound corporal straight off the ground with very little effort. He, on the other hand had turned beet red and nearly lost it. After lifting and lowering him a half-dozen times, I put him down and asked him to do the same to me. He hesitated at first until I made it a command. He tried his damnedest, but failed each attempt. I commanded ?At ease!?, told him to sit down at my table, and told the gawkers that the show was over.

?Thack! Are you still there??

?Yes, I heard everything. You see why we need you back, now!?

?But I was just getting used to this retirement gig!? (I lied!)

?I know better! Corporal Michaels will help you pack and take you to our new facility. I?ll see you in a few days, Tom!?

Poor Corporal Michaels was still somewhat redfaced, baffled and looking very defeated.

?Let?s hear it, Boy! What are you feeling??

?Sir, how much do you weigh??

?385 pounds.?

?Sir, I?ve pressed over 500 pounds and benched well over 1,000. Why couldn?t I even budge you??

?Corporal, very simply because I didn?t choose to be budged!?

?How is that possible, Sir??

?That?s what I am evidently going to teach you, and probably others, when we get to the facility, wherever on God?s green earth that?s located.?

?Sir! You?re going to love it! I just know it! The truck?s out back!?

?Corporal! You?re a marine! Don?t go mushy on me now! ---the truck? Looks like SOMEONE knew I wouldn?t say ?No!?

********************************

I love the Corps! The Semper Fi! The ooh-rah! The testosterone overdosed recruits looking forward to man-to-man domination! And here I was again to teach them how to dominate - my way!

My corporal - yes, I?ve become very possessive in my older years - drove us to our undisclosed facility. Not a simulated jungle or desert or mountains, or any place that I?d have expected from the Corps. No, nothing more perilous than the back forty of a government owned farm and a few huge pole-barns.

As we drove past the tractors and other farming equipment - nice camouflage - and into the smaller pole-barn I suddenly had this James Bond feeling that I was going to experience something quite new - for me. Sure enough, right between the hay-baler and corn-picker we drove onto what looked like a truck or wagon scale. The elevator descended two levels. Thank God I don?t have claustrophobia!

?Sir! We?re here!?

When the huge doors in front of our truck opened, I saw buildings reinforced with i-beams, and the typical activity of any military base - just underground, camouflaged by corn fields above, and relatively impenetrable - and a great ventilation system. The place was totally ?green,? our truck being the only exhaust producing engine around - and I?m sure that would be just until my corporal unloaded its contents into my new home. We arrived at my underground den very shortly and at least a dozen guys equal to or larger than my corporal emptied the truck in just minutes and it was gone. Meanwhile James showed me around my new home - very comfortable looking with all the amenities of ?surface? living - comparable to a luxury suite and a far cry from my barely adequate retirement abode. Yes, I?m liking this already.

*********************************

All the men in the facility were huge. I?m huge. Many are bigger yet! My 385 pounds had included 85 pounds of lard covering muscle. I was viewing 400 pound and better muscle behemoths.

I had just settled in when James came to give me a guided tour of the facility. But first, the mess. What I beheld was nothing less than a gourmet spread. He introduced me to Colonel Stevens who headed the facility, and told me we?d continue our tour after dinner. James went to the enlisted men?s mess. I wondered what they would be savoring. There weren?t more than a dozen of us - and we settled down to a great feast. The other officers knew about me, but our paths had never crossed, so there was plenty to talk about. I particularly noticed that all of us officers were well muscled and fit (at least I soon would be again!!!). Also, I noted that the ?gourmet? spread was extremely ?healthy? and protein laden.

Sure enough, about an hour later I left the officers? mess and there was my James to meet me. We continued our tour of the facility, ending at the training center and infirmary. Interesting that they were joined until I realized that most of the medical tests were being conducted using training equipment. It was a very impressive ?gym? that went way beyond any ordinary gym I?d ever seen. Even the one I had trained in was just ordinary compared to this. I had heard about the magnetic weights to save on bulky plates, but this had what seemed to be every up-to-date training device possible, and wires everywhere hanging from the ceiling. Since it was just after dinner, the place was empty, but I could just imagine all those sweaty bodies reeking man scent - but that was for tomorrow. James simply stated, ?I trained here!?

As we ?carted? in my now personal golf cart back to my home, I continued to be enthralled by all the muscle I saw around me. What a wonderful sight before sleep - and what a great, undisturbed sleep it was - until...

(Just working our way up to the action!)
(How does it read? Too much useless detail? It's the way I think!)