Muscle Growth Serum

[muslkid24]

[color=#c6cdf3]I had a muscle growth story idea between a father and son. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]It's this teen/early adult step-son, say 17, 18yrs, who's into muscle guys and bodybuilders and always browsing the net for muscle pics and buying muscle magazines to whack off to. He starts to really get into morphed pics and BIG guys. His step-father, a real geek of a guy, with his dorky glasses, bad hair cut, and mustache, who works for a computer company gets laid off and can't find work. His mom has to work all the time to make ends meet, and the step-son already thinks his father is a loser, really starts to hate him for making his mother have to work and be gone all the time. The son, who has started working out, makes fun of his step-dad and flaunts his developed muscle in front of him and ina fight, threatens to take him out. The step-father has always tried to treat the boy as if it were his son, but they have never made the connection. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]One day there's an ad in the paper for a reaserach job at a place way up in the mountains. The step-father goes for the job and gets it, and starts working. The lab where he's at is a huge mansion, gated and heavily secured. His boss is a huge, built man, and very mysterious. Over time, the step-father realizes what the job is, is creating a serum to create a genetically perfect male physique. It's a liquid that is swallowed and enhances muscle developement and growth. He is intrigued and during his time off work, he became depressed and drank a lot of beer and gained somewhat of a ber belly. As a part of the job, he is required to take samples of the serum, and log his stats to see if there are any changes in his body. One day, he tests a serum and BOOM! He begins to feel weak at the knees...his stomach spasms, and all his small muscles tense up and he can feel blood rushing through his veins and into all his parts. He swells up a little, and has found the correct mixture that the lab has been trying to put together. In this top-secret environment, he can't tell anyone about, he decides to make a huge amount of this serum, and instead of telling his boss right away, he will keep it for himself. However, this growth spurt makes him really horny...he can't help but whack off to himself...and as he cums, his body deflates back to its original, pathetic size.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]Later, at home, he walks into his son's room to ask him to help with something around the house, and catches his son beating off to a pic of a huge, nude, muscle guy on his computer. The father is disturbed by this, and leaves, unnerved. He can't believe it...his step-son is...gay??? He was rubbing one out to a picture of an older man...a muscled, erect man...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]Somewhat later, after trying more samples of the serum at the lab to find a stronger, more potent blend, and getting batter results (and having to beat off to release and deflate back to normal size so it won't be known that he has found the potion) he realizes the way to get to his step-son and finally connect with him is to work out with him...gain muscle and be respected. He can also slips small doses of the newly found serum into his son's protien drinks and make him grow faster and bigger (in small, almost normal sperts) so he thinks the pointers his dad is giving him is helping him to grow. And together they can grow and gain muscle mass. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The step-father comes home for the weekend, and the mom is away. While the son is lifting weights in the garage, the step-father comes out and attempts to train with him. The step-son lashes out and is ashamed that his dad "the jerk" caught him masturbating and yells that he hates him and doesn't want anything to do with him.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]Disappointed, but angry and hurt, the father goes into the house and opens the metal case where he has stashed a dozen viles of the serum, and drinks one. He grows from 5'10'', 169lbs, to 6'0'', 200lbs, and beats off to let out his frustration.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]At work on Monday, he accidentally spills a vile of one mixture and it combines with another that never seemed to work. The two liquids bubble together and fizz like an alkaseltzer in water. The step-father takes a drop and puts it into a lab rats dish to drink. The rat immediately bulks out, puffing up like a blowfish, and grown from a normal-sized rat, into the size of a small cat! BINGO! A severely potent serum! The step-father takes a single shot of it, and....nothing. Not tissue expansion...no muscle growth...no erection, nothing. He is dissappointed and goes to the bathroom to pee.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]While in the restroom, he is urinating and begins to feel nautious. He walks over to wash his hands and face, and suddenly feels a change...his whole body starts to tense up...his stomach spasms...his body feels hot...he begins to breaka sweat...his muscle contract...and he can feel his blood pumping through his veins, his heart racing...and his muscles begin to swell. He can feel it happening and faster and stronger than before. Suddenly, he begis to fill out his shirt and lab coat...his delts swelling...his biceps stretching his sleeves...his chest expanding, stretching the bottons and spreading open his lab coat. He can feel is penis becoming erect, put harder than ever. He is growing, but bigger than ever. He doesn't want to be caught, so he runs into a bathroom stall and closes the door just in time as the bottons on his shirt begin to pop off one-by-one as his pecs force his shirt open...ripping and tearing at the seams...his neck getting thicker and larger...his tie startting to choke him. He feels dizzy...faint...veins in his chest start to rise to the surface and his beer belly grows into a protruding gut of muscle...his pants POP open from his expanded waist, and the legs of the slacks begin to tear as his quads grow larger and larger...his calves rip through the back of the slacks...and he tenses up his chest...unwittingly felxing his pecs...and BOOM! They inflate to twice the size...He starts to grow taller...and by the time the growth spert is over, he has grown to 6'3'', and hits close to 250 lbs. The once-scrawny nerd of a man is now a buffed-out, huge mountain of muscle. His erect penis has grown too...and stands stiff and pulsates. He touches it and can't help but beat off. As he does, he begins to grow again...and realizes that the faster he strokes and the harder he strokes, he grows more. He shoots his load, hot and steamy, almost denting the stall door with it projecting force...and he slowly deflates back to nis normal size. He then has an idea...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]Taking the mixture of the two serums and taking them home, he creates a small lab in his attic and makes the mixture. He has 2 dozen viles, and knows what just one shot can do. Each vile is equal to 3 shots, and is measured exact.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The mother is away again...probably having an affair...and the father takes a dropper and puts one drop on his tongue. Just one drop bulks him up, just a smidge. Just enough to look like normal results of serious weight training of a few months. He puts on a tank top and a pair of shorts and goes down to the garage to make another attempt to work out with his son.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son notices a change in his step-father...he's not seen him in shorts and a tanktop since he started this new job, and can tell that his dad is bigger... more defined. His pecs seem rounded and shapely, under the mass of chest hair that the son always thought was disgusting. He notices his dad's arms are bigger and his quads and calves are more etched. He is turned on by his dad, but keeps it hidden, and the invite to work out is accepted. During the workout, the dad takes off his tanktop and lifts shirtless, breaking a sweat. The son gets an erection, and has to leave.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]He goes into his bedroom and beats off to a muscle pic...one he created and morphed himself...a pic of his dad...his head pasted onto a huge muscled body. As the son beats off to it, fantasising it's his dad, but HUGELY MUSCLED, the step-father peeks in and sees this...he then realizes his step-son has a fetish for not only muscles, but for HIM, his own step-father...but as a huge, massive muscle man. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]When the son comes down to the kitchen later, the step-father says he has to talk to him. The son is reluctant, but the step-dad insists and tells him that he knows he's into muscle guys and bodybuilders, and he has just the thing for him. He shows him a vile of the serum and tells him the whole story about his job and what they "really do" there. He puts three drops on his tongue and a moment later, the son watches his step-dad begin to blow up like a balloon. The son is in shock...unable to hide his erect cock under his sweats. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"What do ya think?" asks the dad, pleased with the growth spert. He has grown to 6'0'', now bigger than he was in the garage earlier.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son is baffled and the dad invites him to feel his muscles. "It's alright... you can touch them...their real...feel 'em...feel my bicep..."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son feels his dad's newly formed 18'' guns...he shivers. "Oh my God."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Look at my pecs," the dad says, and raises his tanktop. He exposes his impressive, handsome chest, his nipples poking out under the curls of hair.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"I can make you big, son" he says. "I can give you doses of the serum and help you with your muscle gains."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"How big can you get?" asks the son.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Well..." the dad chuckles, "That depends on how much you take. I've found that when you discharge...or in other words ejaculate, you go back to your normal size. However, if you keep the serum in your body while you work out, you REMAIN that size."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son looks to the father strangely. "You mean, you can get HUGE, and go back to normal if you want, or KEEP it that way?"[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Yes," replies the father.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The father takes the dropper and gives his son a single drop. As he does, the image of slipping the long, rounded dropper into his son's mouth gives him a natural erection. He is turned on by watching his son open his mouth and seeing the phalic tool slip into his mouth. It takes a moment, but the son grows a little...feeling the change. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Holy shit!" the son says as he looks into the mirror. "I'm buff!"[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The step-father takes a vile, and takes a single shot. He turns to the son and tells him that he can't help but do this...he backs the son into the corner and the son is trembling with uneasiness. "What are you doing, dad?"[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Here," the dad says, "take a shot...grow."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]he hands him the vile and his son takes a single shot. All of a sudden, the dad begins to moan as his body tenses up...a deep rumble from inside him echoes like thunder...and he begins to grow...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]So does the son...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad begins to morph...6'2''...his muscles spasming, growing...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son morphs too...from his normal height of 5'7'' to 5'9''...getting harder and more defined...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad grows...his muscle gut pushing outward against his son...he grows... 6'3''...260lbs...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son grows more...5'11''...from his normal weight of 156lbs, to 189lbs...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]Both are incredibly horny. They stop growing and look to each other. The dad is pressed up against the boy, his hairy muscle gut hard against the boy's upper abs and chest. As the dad breaths, his stomach expands and contracts, forced into his son.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Dad," the son says, "It's hard to breath...you're crushing me..."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad chuckles. "Sorry..." [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]Now, the two muscle mounds stand there...and the boy accidentally slips: "My ultimate fantasy..."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad nods, grinning..."I know."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad takes an entire vile and opens it.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"More?" the boy asks, dumbfounded.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Your ultimate fantasy," the dad says, and shoots the entire vile and drinks it.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]He asks his son to come with him, and takes him to the hallway closet and pushes him inside. The step-dad slips into the closet, too, and closes the door. it's a tight space to begin with, and with their new size, it's even tighter quarters. Suddenly, there's a deep rumble from the father's chest and stomach,and the son starts to panic: "Wait...you drank a WHOLE VILE, on top of what you've already had..."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"I know," the dad grins, and reaches down and begins to stroke himself. "Stroke me," he tells his son. "And I'll stroke you..."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad remembered the morphed image his son had of him on his computer. The pecs were massive...and the son was rubbing his nipples, pretending it was his father's huge, protrusive nipples. The father begins to swell, growing more.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"But...how huge will you get?" the son asks worried. "This tiny closet..."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Just enjoy your fantasy," the dad says, and starts to grow... his cock gets harder and larger...longer and thicker, the head swelling up and precum already dripping from the tip.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]With the boy backed against the wall, he watches his dad begin to grow. He can't help it...he starts to stroke his father's growing cock, and uses his other hand to feel his chest...stroke his infating arms...feel his widening shoulders...rub his hardening muscle belly...run his fingers through the hair on his gut, then up to his chest where he pulls at the hair on his swelling pecs and runs his thumb over his father's nipples. His nipples become erect, and start to get bigger as his whole body is morphing bigger and bigger...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad grows to 6'4'', 280lbs...while the son stays at his 5'11'', 189lbs.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad's shoulders start to press against the walls of the closet. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"How big will that much serum make you dad?" asks the boy.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"I dunno...I've never taken that much," says the dad, his voice seemingly deeper. The son looks down to see that his dad's balls are swelling, too. They are getting bigger, filling up. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad moans in pleasure. "I've fantasized about this too," he groans. Suck on my nips...play with them...work them boy!"[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"But what if you get so big...? We'll never get out of here..." the son whimpers.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Get me off and I'll stop growing..." the dad explains. "But hurry boy...I'm growing and there's no stopping it...and you'll be crushed if you don't get me off by the time I fill this closet."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son starts to lick and nip at his dad's pecs, feeling the chest hair between his teeth, running his tongue over the huge, beautiful nipples of this step-father. He begins to suck on his dad's nipples, while stroking his dad's cock. His father starts to stroke him, and is growing more...and faster...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]He grows to 6'5'', 300 lbs...his muscle gut pushing into the son's chest...the son can barely breath...his face is forced into his dad's massive pecs. The dad starts to get uncomfortable as he begins to outgrow the tiny closet.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Boy, get me off..." he demands. "I'm gonna crush you in here!"[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son tries to speak, but his face is buried in his dad's pecs. The boy squirms...muffled cries from under the hardening and swelling flesh. He strokes his dad faster...harder...the dad moans in pleasure, but then in pain as the boy's teeth are sinking into his chest.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad tries to pull away to allow his son some air...but can't. He has grown too wide and thick to back away. He suddenly realizes that they should get out of there, but he can't turn around or back up, or reach to the door behind him to open it. His glutes begin to press against the door...he hears the wood cracking and the hinges creaking. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad keeps growing...6'7'', 370lbs...he bounces his pecs...there's a muffled yelp of pain from his clevage and feels something warm and wet on his chest. It's blood...from his son's nose...his face is being forced into his pecs so hard it has broke his nose.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad grows more...seemingly faster...now almost 8', and the hardwood floorboards creak and bow as he now hits 400lbs...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]"Shit!" the dad bellows, his voice deep and rumbles in his son's ears. "Get me off! Hurry! Get me off!"[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The son, unable to breath and being crushed against the wall under his huge step-father, strokes harder and faster, but the dad keeps growing...faster and bigger...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]He hits 8'3'', the boards under him starting to crack as he weighs 450lbs...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]His pecs swell more than any other muscle...he looks down to realize that his son's feet are no longer on the floor...his face is smashed between the huge mounds of meat, and blood pours from his clevage. His muscle gut is being forced into his son, and with every breath he takes, he crushes his son more and more. The faint sound of cracking and popping bones are heard under the rumbling of the expanding muscle man. The dad gets very scared.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The dad then realizes something...when you beat off, the faster and harder you stroke, the faster and bigger you grow! He tries to stop his son...perhaps this will make him stop growing and they can get out of there...[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The closet door snaps in half, breaking outward, and letting light into the closet chamber. The dad tries to back away, but can't, and the walls starts to crack and crumble from his massive shoulders. He unwittingly flexes his pecs while trying to pull his son's face out of them...and SNAP! The dad can feel bones mushing around under the boy's flesh...he has shattered his sternum and colar bone under his extreme weight. [/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]There's disturbing cracking sounds and blood gushes from bewteen his pecs. The boy, who is no longer stroking, is suspended limp in his father's clevage, and the father feels his son's chest crack and flatten into his as he inhales deeply. His rounded head seems to disshape, and is flattened as his skull is crushed between the two massive pecs. Without doing anything, the dad suddenly feels it coming...he lets go, ejaculating and blowing a huge load of cum everywhere...he starts to slowly deflate, but it is too late. He sees his son's crushed face...he has crushed his son to death and as the step-father deflates back to his normal size, sees that his son had cum, too. he had not only suffocated his own step-son in his massive pecs, but had crushed him to death as well.[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]The step-father steps back and can only think one thing: "Well, at least I gave my son what he always wanted...he got to live out his fantasy."[/color]

[color=#c6cdf3]As he turns to walk away, not sure how to feel or what to do now, he just grins and says to himself: "And so did I."[/color]

[Mad Dog]

Umm... that last part is kind of disturbing. Sorta turned me off to the whole thing.

[CanadianGordon]

It was really great up until the son died.

What a way to ruin a good story. shit.

I really don't understand the mindset that dismisses the death of innocents as somehow a good thing.

"Tolerance of stupidity is itself stupid."

[benchdude]

why would you paste a different face onto the picture if you're just going to crop the face out of it? totally pointless.

[vga518]

The story was goo except for the last part. YOU CAN'T KILL THE BOY!!!!!!!
There was no reason for that, because at some point everyone has thought or said I HATE YOU. He shouldn't die for that.

Umm... the death of his son at the end was what completely ruined a good story. Take it out.

[sexiscriptor]

I think it is already quite clear that a number of people found the boy's death disturbing and wanton.
I cannot fathom why one would include such an ending; it furthers nothing and somehow manages to convey even less. I suppose there is some vague and nebulous sense of ephemeral irony? But for what? And so weakly formed?
A great story idea ruined by snuff. Huh...

[italian_pimp]

terrible ending... especially when you consider how detailed you made the death... sounds like you might have an issue or two...

[fabiolamin]

Yo no entiendo muy bien lo que es dicho .................................. podr?an escribir tambi?n en espa?ol

[Xyggurat]

"Yo no entiendo muy bien lo que es dicho .................................. podr?an escribir tambi?n en espa?ol"

I think that means "I don't understand very well what he's saying... would you be able to write it in Spanish as well?"

Hehe, three years out of high school Spanish, and I still manage to suck at the language. Nice to see I haven't lost my touch.

-X-

[musclerodriguez]

[COLOR=gray]LOL, this is one of those stories you love and hate at the same time. I admit, except for the ending, this was one of the hottest father-son muscle growth stories I’ve come across. I didn’t like the end either but im not willing to throw the baby out with the bathwater. For a story that has disgusted so many it is also highly sought after. [/COLOR]


[COLOR=gray]Muslkid24, you started off with a story idea but ended up writing your own story. I think you have talent, and would love it if you wrote more father-son fiction. But next time let’s let the son live, that way the adventure can continue![/COLOR]

[nnnrg]

The ending came out of nowhere. Like it was a desperate attempt to end the story which would otherwise be just some kind of ongoing growth thing.

For it to fit there has to be (1) foreshadowing, (2) some reason other than apparent capricious randomness, and (3) a resolution, either good or bad, of the motivational arcs that you introduced in the rest of the story.

The wife, or her lover, being accidentally crushed, would be horrible AND would fit the narrative. The son? Just brings out a sense of distaste and a desire not to remember the story.

[User]

hey if he's into gore it doesnt mean you guys have to be

[Lucas88]

People...FYI, the story is from 2005 and this guy hasn't posted a message in 5 years.

[nnnrg]

Originally Posted by Lucas88

People...FYI, the story is from 2005 and this guy hasn't posted a message in 5 years.

And so we shouldn't use it as an example for discussion? If the original author isn't here any more, then it becomes a useful example for other writers that doesn't step on their toes.

If he IS here, then he will recognize that the intention of most of us (and I hope this is coming across clearly) are not telling him that he should not write, but rather, what we believe will improve his stories.

Note that I didn't say he should not write "muscle snuff" either - just that he could make it better by making it something that matters, rather than something confusing that makes the reader feel like they were tricked. Since we still have new writers coming in asking for advice, that's my advice for this genre.

[ljobenza]

Originally Posted by User

hey if he's into gore it doesnt mean you guys have to be

What's the point of putting a story up without letting other people talk about it? And with something this extremely negatively aligned you SHOULD expect people to complain about it and the author.

[Rarity]

I feel bad for laughing at this. Besides, there's a difference between criticism and insulting. Prime examples being:

"You fucking suck, dude." Insulting!

"Your story fucking sucked, dude." Harsh criticism!

"Your story was kinda bad. The grammar and spelling was lacking, and organization could use a lot of work." Amazing criticism!

"That was good!(even though the person thinks it sucked)" Unhelpful fake-lame-criticism!

[nypup2train]

At the risk of criticizing your post [ ], allow me to dissent. I find myself at odds not with your point but with your degrees.

Originally Posted by Click_Flash

Besides, there's a difference between criticism and insulting. Prime examples being:

"You fucking suck, dude." Insulting!

That goes well beyond insulting! In my book, that's an unacceptable personal attack, wrong in nearly any scenario but especially when the target is someone who's actually contributing (meaningfully) to the site by generously posting their work and opening themselves up to everyone.

Something like that should be followed by an apology, and a statement that the user understands that this type of communication doesn't belong on the forums and won't be repeated. And, personally, I'd support banning any user who made a habit of that sort of thing even after several warnings. There's enough nastiness in the world, without people getting away with it here where they can hide behind their anonymity.

Originally Posted by Click_Flash

"Your story fucking sucked, dude." Harsh criticism!

Insulting! If you don't like something, and aren't able to cough up even a reason or two why, then just do everyone a favor and quietly move on to something you'll find more to your liking. Every single one of us will encounter plenty of things throughout our lives that don't please/entertain/excite us. And since our enjoyment is NOT actually the author's responsibility (shocking, I know!), it's not their fault that we didn't like what they did, and it's not their problem either. So, shut up and keep walking. Thankyoudrivethru.

Originally Posted by Click_Flash

"That was good!(even though the person thinks it sucked)" Unhelpful fake-lame-criticism!

Agreed.

Originally Posted by Click_Flash

"Your story was kinda bad. The grammar and spelling was lacking, and organization could use a lot of work." Amazing criticism!

Unhelpful semi-lame criticism! Would that it were sufficient to walk through life pointing out the flaws or deficiencies in everything, chipping away at everything we see by prodding at every weak or unstable spot & trying to knock it down a peg or two. Certainly, it's beneficial to any author to weather their share of that; it'll toughen their skin and shore up their emotional defenses, since that sort of negative feedback is something they'll have to deal with their whole lives. But it takes its toll, and too much of that sort of reaction or too little positive feedback to offset it can make an author question why they open themselves up to it by sharing their work at all.

Finally, if you'll allow me to add one more to your list...

"Your story has potential, and there were some things I liked about it (if that's true, and no matter how few or how small), but it also has some major problems and really needs a lot of work. The main problem, for me, was this, and here are two ways I think you could solve it. Also, this technical problem and that other structural problem interfered with my comprehension/enjoyment of what you wrote, so I'd suggest you spellcheck/proofread/ask for help/do this differently, because it'll make what you write more accessible to a lot more people, so they can enjoy your ideas too!"

Now that's a critique!

[Rarity]

Hi guy above me, I was giving extremely straightforward examples. Hence me saying "prime examples being". The examples given do not pertain to the story, otherwise I would have left out "prime examples being" and put "here's ways to say what I think about your story". I used a "this is bad story" point of view because it's easier for explaining the insult/harsh criticism. So I guess I have to explain the explanations.

First example = Bad, it bashes the author directly. It's an insult. Period.

Second example = Insulting the story, and indirectly the author. This can either be considered harsh criticism or an insult. There's a very thin line between the two, so someone who is seriously criticizing another's work would do best to not be so harsh. It's also pretty immature either way you slice it.

Third example = STRAIGHTFORWARD PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE CRITICISM! If a criticizer says someone's story is bad, he/she must give blunt/general reasons as to why it is bad. Legitimate reasons being the ones I mentioned, such as grammar, spelling, story organization(both the format and actual plot), and so on. You do not need to give a person large amounts of text to people in an attempt to help them. They will ask you to elaborate if they truly want to know what was wrong. In other words, less is more unless otherwise specified.

4th example = You get the idea.


Yes.

[Lucas88]

Originally Posted by nnnrg

And so we shouldn't use it as an example for discussion? If the original author isn't here any more, then it becomes a useful example for other writers that doesn't step on their toes.

If he IS here, then he will recognize that the intention of most of us (and I hope this is coming across clearly) are not telling him that he should not write, but rather, what we believe will improve his stories.

Note that I didn't say he should not write "muscle snuff" either - just that he could make it better by making it something that matters, rather than something confusing that makes the reader feel like they were tricked. Since we still have new writers coming in asking for advice, that's my advice for this genre.

I never said it shouldn't be discussed. I made the comment, a simple statement of fact, because the very first poster (October 2011) addresses the author directly...the author hasn't even logged in since 2007. Discuss away, just don't expect him to respond any time soon.

[nypup2train]

Originally Posted by Lucas88

Discuss away, just don't expect him to respond any time soon.

Let's face it, considering the progression of this thread in the interim, he'd have to be a masochist to respond directly ? even assuming he does ever actually catch wind of it. We've gone far afield of the original post's content per se.

<Seinfeld>(Not that there's anything wrong with that!)</Seinfeld>

So, yes, I'd agree with Lucas88's quite accurate observations/advice.

[Freaker!!]

Originally Posted by Steve Jobs

I like the story. But I don't like the last part of the story. Why you killed the Boy. The Boy should be alive.But its great story.

The ending was disturbing. But I read it again and soon got used to it. Children, they can be such a pain can't they. Wanting to be better than their fathers, but afraid of outshining them. Clearly he had it coming to him. But Dad was stil a bastard. He killed Kenny! He actually killed his son. Luckily Kenny will resurrect and like Groundhog Day, learn from his past mistakes. And so, the fantasy will repeat and get even better. I can't wait for the next episode. Of course Kenny is going to have to die. But before he does he doesn't have to live his fantasy. Some time it can go disasterously wrong.

[fernandozu]

saludos para el publico latino en caso de no enteder el ingles muy bien como es mi caso usen el traductor google las historis son exelntes saludos

[nypup2train]

Um?

O HAI!