Save the Golden Gate From Destruction!

[Marty McFly]

This Thanksgiving weekend, a 911-scale terrorist attack will take place in San Francisco, that will destroy the Golden Gate Bridge, causing enormous damage and loss of life.

This terrible disaster has already happened in the future, and the shock waves are rippling both forwards and backwards in time. However, all is not yet lost. From our point in time, the future is not yet written, and we can still do something about it. We are going to write an alternate ending.

We are going to do this by tapping into the collective subconscious, all at the same time, with the same message. And this is the fun part - we’re going to do it with our cocks! Your phallus is your connection to this wonderful and amazing entity, which is really a collective entity, of which you are a part. We’re not telling you anything you don’t already know, at least on a subconscious level. We’re contacting this entity because he/she/you have the power to change the future!

We sincerely apologize for the late notice, it couldn’t be helped.

Instructions

On Wednesday morning, before 8:00 AM Pacific (11:00 Eastern) drink some coffee. That’s important. Find a private spot, whip it out, and begin to stroke. Fantasize about anything you want, just get good and boned. As you do, imagine an alternate ending. I suggest ordinary gay men turning into massively muscled studs with super-powered cocks that suddenly arrive on the scene, uncover the plot, deflect the missiles and bring the perps to justice, but that’s just one idea.

Picture the Golden Gate in your mind’s eye, and picture it remaining standing peacefully, all through Thanksgiving weekend. Build up the feeling, and the vision, and exactly at 8:00 AM, shoot your load. That’s the upload button. Bonus points for eating it.

That’s all there is to it. Clean up and go back to whatever you were doing. We’ll have just sent a unified collective thought missile into the subconscious, our individual pop guns joining into a cruise missile that will be loud enough to get attention. A pr-emptive strike, as it were. Or at least, that’s the theory. It’s never been tried before on this scale, but these are desperate times, and they require desperate measures.

We implore you to take this message seriously, and to act on it. It won’t work unless many thousands of gay men join together with one thought, one vision, and one massive fucking orgasm! This is one charity drive you don’t want to miss! Your brothers and sisters in San Francisco, indeed, the entire country, need you. Every man counts. Do your patriotic duty, and put your heart into it. Please visit http://savethegoldengate.blogspot.com/ for more info.