Chat etiquette

[LittleArm]

I definitely enjoy chatting with people about our favorite bodybuilders, muscle in general, or other topics from this forum, but sometimes people drive me a bit crazy.

If you try contacting me or anyone else with an instant message, I ask that you introduce yourself a bit even if it's something as simple as saying "I saw your name on the Muscle Growth Forum." I got a message from someone from out of the blue, and he kept asking me questions until I finally asked "where did you get my name?" He said "I don't know, but you're on my buddy list." I've had similar things happen before. If you don't even know why you're contacting me in the first place, I'd probably rather not be chatting with you.

And the other thing... If someone tells you that they can't chat, please be polite and just say "OK, have a nice day." On quite a few occasions I've told people that I couldn't chat and I got hit with the third degree: "Why not? What are you doing? Why is your status set to 'available' if you're not chatting? What, I'm not good enough to chat with?" To be honest they can be a bit creepy at times. I try not to be rude, but I don't feel like I should have to explain myself to a complete stranger over the internet.

As far as I know, no one from this forum has been a problem at all. I've just been feeling a bit frustrated with some chats recently and wanted to vent a bit. Thanks for indulging me.


[email protected]

[CanadianGordon]

Agreed. Nothing pisses me off more than a person who just keeps at it, until finally they end up on my ignore list, especially when they don't give any info.
Sigh.
I also have a new job and cannot be chatting sexually at work.
I don't know if my computer is monitored and I'd much rather not find out.
G.

I can sympathize. I gave up chat rooms very shortly after being introduced to them. With rare exceptions most of my experiences in chat have been a waste of time except for learning how empty some people are.

Three hundred years ago, Johnathan Swift coined the word "Yahoo" in "Gulliver's Travels".

The Yahoos were one of the races of people that Gulliver met on his travels. You may remember the Brobdingnagians (giants) and the Lilliputians (tiny people) but often the Yahoos are left out of condensed versions of the story.

Here's what the Cliff Notes say about Yahoos: (Note: keep this description in mind the next time you deal with an obnoxious Yahoo online.) I've extracted the salient points below:

Yahoos are the human-like creatures that Gulliver first encounters in the Country of the Houyhnhnms. Not recognizing their link with humanity, Gulliver describes the Yahoos as animals: "? deformed ?. Their heads and breasts were covered with thick hair ? but the rest of their bodies were bare ?. They had no tails and often stood on their hind feet ?." He concludes with, "I never beheld in all my travels so disagreeable an animal."

Although they are human in form and feature, the Yahoos are, indeed, animals. They are filthy and they stink. They are omnivorous but seem to prefer meat and garbage. (Significantly, they eat nearly everything prohibited by the biblical and Levitical food codes.) They are "the most filthy, noisome, and deformed animals which nature ever produced ?" and they are "restive and indocible, mischievous and malicious."

The Yahoos, however, are not merely animals; they are animals who are naturally vicious and represent Mankind depraved. Swift describes them in deliberately filthy and disgusting terms, often using metaphors drawn from dung. In terms of their evolution, the words used to describe the Yahoos are "degenerating by degrees."

[ethernet_jock]

littlearm,

you're definitely not saying anything I haven't said or felt before... there are plenty of insano-sick-weirdness obsessed people out there and more than a fair percentage of them are on the internet.

Be careful, chose your friends wisely, and don't waste ANY of your time with the less than desireable.

I've been chatting online for 14+ years in one form or another (if you count local BBSs and the first iterations of IRC) and somehow I can't seem to give up. I've definitely met more crazy sick and pathetic people in my life than I ever imagined there could be!

[ethernet_jock]

drew - and on the opposite side of that coin...

I'm a bit tired of guys IMing me who ASSUME that I frequent MGS because I WANT to and enjoy playing those "virtual" muscle growth role-playing fantasy type games.

Personally - I'd rather just meet and talk to some other guy who's into weight training and compare photos, physiques, discuss training and our lives outside of it, etc.... I'm more about the real human element than anything else.

So yah - please don't assume that everyone is into what you're into.

[SithSpawn]

I've only been using Yahoo for a short while but almost everyone I've chatted to on there just wants to talk about muscle fantasies. What about talking about real things in their lives? I'm not saying don't do it, I'm just saying change the subject every now and then.

Most of the people on my contacts never seem to be online (probably due to time differences) or the minute the conversation goes to something other than muscle they dry up (no pun intended).

I like the idea of getting to know different people around the world but I'd like to know more than just their fantacies, maybe I chose the wrong place to get started. If anyone wants to chat about anything, muscle growth or not (no role plays though as I don't pay attention enough to be totally immersed) then feel free to get in contact with me.

Poodle tip.

[brent]

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

...
Personally - I'd rather just meet and talk to some other guy who's into weight training and compare photos, physiques, discuss training and our lives outside of it, etc.... I'm more about the real human element than anything else.
...

I have to agree. I like chatting to interesting people, but all the role-play is sort of boring.

Originally Posted by brent

I have to agree. I like chatting to interesting people, but all the role-play is sort of boring.

Amen!

There are people who like that sort of thing and that's OK but I get nothing from fantasy banter. Nor do I like role play during interpersonal sex. Physical intimacy for me is about real bodily sensation not fables. For me, conversation during sex is a distraction from the body's ability to integrate and appreciate an immense spectrum of sensation from the extremes of both pleasure and pain. Sensations are the notes of sexual music. I try to play the instrument well.

On the other hand, solo play is all about immersion in fantasy. I do appreciate a well constructed story that is developed and written in prose designed to excite. If I'm jerking off I don't want to have to stop to think up a reply and put both hands on the keyboard to type something.

When I do put my hands to the keyboard I am devoted to full and careful exposition of my idea, going over the product several times trying to make sure it says clearly what is necessary and sufficient. I much prefer to write in complete letters rather than sentence by sentence.

When I make dialog with another person on the web I would much rather explore their experience and wisdom than their fantasies.

But that's me, and once in a while I find others who feel the same.

[SithSpawn]

I totally agree with Drew. Ok so we have the muscle fantasy thing in common, but it's amazing the other things you can talk to almost total strangers about, and you can get help, advice, opinions and all sorts from people who don't know your personality so won't say what they think you'll want to hear. Even if you don't have things in common with other people you chat to it helps to broaden your perceptions of other people and places when you chat to other countries.

I mean, how many Americans really know about the British besides the bad toothed, tea drinking, Mary Poppins stereotype you see? It's the same with our perceptions of America because we get a lot of your tv shows here but they also help to enforce stereotypes eg. do all schools over there segregate the students into geeks, jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, goths, outcasts etc. on the day you arrive or is it a gradual thing? I know this isn't really what it's like over there (is it?) but that's wht Saved by the bell and other shows have taught us so it's nice to talk to real Americans and get the truth.

Ok, I'm putting the soapbox away now. lol.

[ethernet_jock]

Sith,

It's gradual and MUCH MORE subtle than TV would make it out to be.

"cliques" or groups of social classes in american public schools are probably most prevelant actually at the middle school level.... high school seems to be much more blending and cross-grouping. There will always be segregated social classes and groups based on common interest but the real separation of cliques is pretty subtle at best...

TV loves to turn things into something more dramatic than it is... for sure.



Now... if there's one thing I've learned about english men.... and this is more about the ones that I've met and known in real life.... it's that most of them are SHORT! What's up with that?



(just kidding)

[SithSpawn]

Originally Posted by ethernet_jock

Now... if there's one thing I've learned about english men.... and this is more about the ones that I've met and known in real life.... it's that most of them are SHORT! What's up with that?



(just kidding)

It's the weather, the cloud's always so low that we don't want to grow any taller in case we scrape our heads on it. Kinda like the Worm guys' apartment in MIB2

[brent]

Originally Posted by SithSpawn

... but that's wht [sic] Saved by the bell and other shows have taught us so it's nice to talk to real Americans and get the truth.
...

In my experience, it's a lot more like "Saved By The Bell" than you might think. When I first started in American high school, after living in New Zealand for 4.5 years, I noticed that the cliques were omnipresent at my school. EJ's experience might be different, but they only thing that seems off base to me is how rich everyone is on TV. Besides 40+ million people having no access to health care, it seems pretty accurate to life on the west coast of the US.

[ethernet_jock]

Brent.... good point. I guess it varies by area.....

[SithSpawn]

I just thought I'd post another little comment on here as everytime I do I tend to get new people wanting to chat to me, so being the cheeky bar steward I am I thought I'd let anyone who hasn't had a chat with me to feel free to start. I can always put you on ignore if I don't want to talk

sithspawn78 on yahoo for anyone interested. I've got a blog as well if anyone wants to read it, can't remember the address but it's mentioned in a post somewhere around here. A hearty congratulations to whoever finds it first. lol.

[Jinx]

I don't mind chatting to people, but a big no no on roleplay lol. It just makes me laugh heh.

Talk about anything really, ask sith heheh

[Lucas88]

Gotta agree with Brent...depends on where you are. Here on the East Coast (Maryland suburbs of Washington, DC) I noticed the cliques starting in middle school and becoming gradually more defined by high school. As Sith spelled out, they were the:
1) Jocks/Cheerleaders/"Pretty People";
2) Nerds/College Prep'rs/Science & Math Club and Honor Society Members;
3) Stoners/Druggies/Headcases;
4) Blacks...you missed this one, Sith, and the Latino and Asian populations were much smaller than they are today...I went to the first middle school where they started busing to integrate the schools (dating myself there) so when we got to high school, kids from the other middle schools were behind the learning curve when it came to race relations and there were some definite lines drawn...it was all about respect in the end;
5) and believe it or not...we still had greasers and this WAS IN THE '70's!...it was all about cars for these kids.

Of course these are generalizations with exceptions but there were some pretty strong lines between these groups...and family income did influence what area you came from to feed our high school and which group you "fit" into. Surprisingly, the biggest snobs...at least in my school...weren't the Jock/Cheerleader/Pretty crowd. The biggest snobs were the smart kids! God, talk about arrogant SOB's who thought they were better than everyone else...at least the ones with money did and that was most of them! Unfortunately, those were the people I was grouped with (tall, uncoordinated, college-bound bookworm here until I filled out in college...late-blooming jock, I guess) and I was just this laid back kid (in the middle income brackets) who wanted to get along with everyone. I actually did...I tutored kids from all the groups from 7th through 12th grade. Once they realized I was basically a "nice guy" who just wanted to help and could care less where they were from or how much Daddy made last year, I was able to cross a lot of lines and at least had a foot in each group even though I never really belonged to any of them.

Looking back, I realize maybe there were a lot of us that didn't fit the group stereotypes...I guess we were just the audience to all the drama the groups created...think back, Brent...weren't there people like this on the West Coast? Sounds like TV's just focusing on the drama...maybe there are a lot more of us "normal folk" in the audience than I thought! That's a good thing!

OK...done babbling.

Lucas

[brent]

Originally Posted by Lucas88

...
Brent...weren't there people like this on the West Coast?
...

Um, I believe that's what I said, and Oregon is about as far West as you can go in the continental US. However, since I graduated in 1991, the groups were SLIGHTLY different:
1. Jocks/Cheerleaders
2. Rich/Pretty Kids
3. Dance Squad (all female)
4. Goths
5. Stoners (big hair, bad music)
6. Punks
7. Band kids
8. Smart kids/chess & math club
9. me (the lonely club)

[Lucas88]

Brent,
I didn't mean the groups themselves, I meant people in between the groups....what I called the audience to the drama. Maybe that was an East Coast thing. I've got 13 years on you so seems like the groups became more defined with a few additions...we didn't have goths or punks and I grouped the dance squad (pom pom girls) and pretty people with the cheerleaders and jocks. Rich was mostly the smart crowd at my school with the jocks and cheerleaders coming in second.

EJ,
We use to be short here, too...we have some old, OLD stone farm houses (built in the 1700's and 1800's) out in the Virginia country side where the doorways aren't even 6' high. After the first few knots on the head, I learned to duck constantly when I was exploring. And...any of the old colonial homes (like Mount Vernon) that have the original stairways to the second floor...well let me tell you, they're steep and narrow and have plenty of places to bump your head if you're over 6'. Must be something in the water!

Later!

[brent]

Originally Posted by Lucas88

Brent,
I didn't mean the groups themselves, I meant people in between the groups....what I called the audience to the drama. Maybe that was an East Coast thing. I've got 13 years on you so seems like the groups became more defined with a few additions...we didn't have goths or punks and I grouped the dance squad (pom pom girls) and pretty people with the cheerleaders and jocks. Rich was mostly the smart crowd at my school with the jocks and cheerleaders coming in second.
...

Well, I think that groups naturally evolve, and slowly add. You would have graduated about the time of the onset of punks, and before goths got started (and new wavers would be another group too...) Notice my set doesn't mention minorities? The 3 black kids, the asian girl, and the half latino guy worked there way into various cliques. Portland & 'bubs still tend to be fairly white, considering I was in a school of well over 1,200 students. The dance squad, and cheerleaders were NOT lumped together in my set because they were 2 very different cliques in my school that HATED each other. Since my school regularly took state in Dance competitions, and the football team one a game my Junior year (none the Senior year) the dancers thought the cheerleaders were badly dressed losers. A point that would be hard to debate. The smart kids at my school were mostly poor, and the rich kids could afford the good drugs, so they weren't too big on studying.


As for small houses, Oregon City still has a few pioneer houses from the late 1700's when it was still a British settlement. The doors were exactly 6' tall, and stairs were steep & narrow. However, the few places that survive today were very ornate & expensive for their day, and mostly built for officers of the Hudson Bay Co. I also think most were destroyed in the war of 1812...

[SithSpawn]

Do people on here actually read the profiles of others before they send IM's to them?

I'm going to change mine so it tells people I'm not interseted in roleplays as everytime I seem to get a new person contacting me on Yahoo it's usually with "want to rp?" or "want to make me huge?"

It's getting bloody annoying now especially when I say no and then get the person WHO CONTACTED ME not wanting to bother continuing with the conversation or giving me the impression that they feel obligated to talk to me (and leaving me to do all the talking with them giving monosylabic responses) even though they don't want to.

If all you want is to role play then find someone else and fucking leave me alone!! If you genuinely want to chat about anything and everything, and want to find out about life in another country then feel free to IM me, I don't mind. But don't let the conversations just go one way.

I feel so much better now