Self Esteem

[iluvmassivemusl]

So I've come to the conclusion that some self esteem might be able to drive me, trouble is that I need to get some of that and confidence, does anyone know how to build those up, I've tried telling myself I'm sexy in the mirror, but I go into fits of laughter, so I need help lol

[Mdlftr]

Try positive self affirmation statements that you know to be true, then expand the scope.

For example: "I am a good man. I keep my house neat and organized. I am a good neighbor."

Then expand, "I am a good neighbor who helps others with chores, like moving things. I am happy to use my strength to help my neighbors. I am strong. I like being strong and helping my neighbors. If my muscles were stronger I could help my neighbors even more. I will lift weights to get stronger.

I like being strong."


Make self affirming statements to yourself along those lines and keep reinforcing the behavior you want to perform - getting bigger and stronger by lifting weights.

[Aielyn]

Personally, I've never understood "self-affirmations", because it's like trying to convince yourself of something that you feel isn't true, even if it actually is true.

Self esteem all comes from the way that you think, and self-affirmations aren't going to do anywhere near enough to address that. It's all about actually finding the positives in things, and working to address the negatives.

You look at yourself in the mirror and think that you're not sexy? Try to find the positives in your reflection - what features are your best? Next, look at the things that you think are negatives... spend a bit of time thinking about whether they're really as bad as you think (chances are, they're not), and if you still feel that one is an issue, try to figure out what you need to do to resolve it... but before you assume that it is an issue, talk with some people you trust, and find out for certain whether it's real or just your imagination.

The same method should work for any issue - seek out the positives, then identify and think about the negatives as objectively as you can. If you still think the negatives are an issue, work to fix them.

Also keep in mind that nobody is perfect, and thus you shouldn't expect to be great in every way - so use the same logic above on your life and personality in general - seek out the positives first. Not good at singing? Not a problem. Everyone has skills and weaknesses.

The problem with self-affirmations is that they tend to sit strangely in your mind - which is why, when you look in the mirror and tell yourself you look sexy, you end up laughing, because it seems absurd to you. Until you understand why you think you don't look sexy, you won't be able to move past it and either feel more sexy, recognise that you're not particularly sexy and it's alright not to be, or figure out what you need to do to be more sexy.

Of course, all of this is just my personal opinion, so feel free to ignore it if it suits you.

[iluvmassivemusl]

Both of you, thank you, I'm building my self esteem the best I can, and that is thanks to you both, And to help with that, I'm going clubbing for the first time tonight. It's going to be interesting, but it's going to be fun

[getbigger]

Look up "Abraham hicks" Abraham is the entity that The Secret was based off of. Every time I want to improve my life/thoughts, I use their material.

Here's a good bit about affirmations/allowing/allowfirmations/etc:

Abraham Hicks - Affirmations that get you into the Vortex -...

[RosettaWood]

Originally Posted by iluvmassivemusl

So I've come to the conclusion that some self esteem might be able to drive me, trouble is that I need to get some of that and confidence, does anyone know how to build those up, I've tried telling myself I'm sexy in the mirror, but I go into fits of laughter, so I need help lol

Hi,
Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you're used to focusing on your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that outweigh them. When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make you happy.
I hope it helps.
-Rosetta

[BigBawlz]

I found myself in the same position as iluvmassivemusl in the past, specifically and catastrophically at the gym. you're surrounded by people who go daily, and when your first starting out you feel so out of place. Gradually, I'm sure you feel better, but at the beginning its scary. I've often found myself walking out of a gym halfway through a workout as a wave of self consciousness and anxiety washes over me faster then I can self motivate.

My only trick for that was to go with a friend, as they're presence acted as an anchor for me, a familiar point in unfamiliar territory. Finding your "anchor" will definately help you, latching on to the reason why you are doing what you are doing. You don;t have to call yourself sexy, or exaggerate, but be honest with yourself, take a deep breath, and try to remember why you are doing this, and for who are you doing this.

((I have no idea if that makes sense, i haven't had coffee yet.))

[brutus]

When I first started the gym I felt really intimidated. I told my trainer about it, and she told me that people are too busy looking at themselves to notice me. I kept going, and now I look like one of the guys that would have intimidated me. I see it as we are all on the same path, and getting intimidated is silly. They are on the same path you are, they just started earlier. It's a bit like starting a hiking trail at 11 AM, and then getting upset that other groups started the trail at 9 AM & 10 AM. It doesn't really matter when you start, it just matters that you put one foot in front of the other.

[MuscleMesmerize]

Originally Posted by iluvmassivemusl

So I've come to the conclusion that some self esteem might be able to drive me, trouble is that I need to get some of that and confidence, does anyone know how to build those up, I've tried telling myself I'm sexy in the mirror, but I go into fits of laughter, so I need help lol

I am not sure I currently have any files for this myself (do have stuff to enjoy workouts more but not just to feel better right now), but hypnosis can be a good way to do the self-affirmations because it gets to the root of your mind.

From personal experience outside of hypnosis, I find it's best to not dwell on the thoughts but instead try to think of actions you can do, like another workout or something productive with hobbies or career. I once wrote a script for a writing contest during a downtime, and another time built a new online portfolio for myself. It didn't eliminate the bad feelings, but it helped give me something positive to focus on... something where I could be like, hey, I built that, I created that, I gave that a try. And since sometimes time helps, it can help pass the time until you're out of the funk.

If that doesn't work, try some extra rest or getting some sun, and get back to eating healthier if you slipped up during the holidays (I know I have - my mom bakes and bakes like no other this time of year).