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Muscle & Mind Motivation, Inspiration and The Mind. What drives you?

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  #1   Add to CDNmuscle's Reputation   Report Post  
Old August 28th, 2005, 01:59 PM
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What to do when the bf hates juice?

I know this isn't the place to come for therapy but I was just wondering if anyone has run into this situation.

I met a great guy and have been dating him for over a year. When I met him I was just cutting for a competition. He had some real issues with juice (damn medical sys). Actually it was to the point where he dumped me, but I was determined to finish the diet and haul my ass onto the stage. Long story short we continued to date and he remained a good supporter all the way through.

I've been natty for the last year. I thought I could just put the size thing behind me but I have the urge to bulk up again. I'm sitting at a leanish 235 and to be honest 260 looks attractive. My instinct is that I'm doomed to try again and just hide it but I really suck at not being truthful. I guess I'm worried it would be held as an ultimatum or if I didn't mention it some brusing would be noticed, or maybe the 20 extra pounds...ugh.

Well if i'm alone on this one it sure feels good to rant.
Peace!
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Old August 28th, 2005, 04:01 PM
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I've not dated someone while on juice but I do in some ways fear that what you experienced may happen.

What exactly is the boyf worried about - is it that he fears side effects or roid rage type events? Or is he lecturing you about your long term health?

Has he given you some kind of ultimatum?

I would think that it is going to be hard to conceal adding 30 lbs. I've found adding maybe 18 lbs is very obvious to people who ahve not seen me recently.
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Old August 28th, 2005, 05:22 PM
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Hey Beefy!
The Bf is more concerned about the Health and Legal issues.
Also his last partner had a drug addiction.

It's really hard to explain but he works within the medical profession so he carries the typical view of juice.

No ultimatum yet but I really fear it. I'm just wondering if I should go the Don't ask Don't tell.

Agree the size thing can be an issue but it's amazing sometimes how dumb people can be.

Peace
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Old August 28th, 2005, 08:20 PM
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"...it's amazing sometimes how dumb people can be..."

...which explains all the people on juice.
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Old August 28th, 2005, 10:07 PM
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With his last partner having a drug addiction, I could definitely see from where his objections come.

The only warning I'd give with "don't ask, don't tell".....if he ever finds out, inadvertently or otherwise, the fallout will be even worse.

Not an easy question, bud. Good luck with your decision.
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Old August 28th, 2005, 10:39 PM
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Drop the roids. Love is more important than muscle. It really bothers him and, since he seems to be good for you, you should sacrifice that for him. If he asks you to become a completely different person then you ought to drop him fast but since he's just concerned about your health (or perhaps his health) then it's not such a big deal.
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Old August 29th, 2005, 12:53 AM
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Hey CDN, try thinking about the situation this way. With or without juice, to gain 25 pounds of muscle, you would dedicate yourself to training almost 24/7. It'd affect everything from your actual training time to meals (going out to eat could be problematic), to sleeping habits. Would your bf be happy with such a priority on training in your life? Is he ok with your current priorities?

I'm not on juice but my bf has been concerned about my recent change in priorities. I've been very focused on my training and he feels I am putting too much emphasis on my physical appearance. I don't deny that I like the increased attention from other guys, but they like me only for my looks. That only goes so far. If you have a good relatinoship right now you shouldn't let something like this break you up. I wonder, would your bf like for you to grow to 260 pounds? If so then you should discuss how you will get there honestly. Be true to yourself first, then see if he can accept that. Hope it works out!
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Old August 29th, 2005, 09:35 AM
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CDN Some thoughts

CDN,
When facing a difficult choice, one strategy I use is risk-benefit analysis.
On one side you put one course of action, with all the pluses and minuses. One the other side, you post a different course of action, with its pluses and minuses. Looking at them both semi-objectively may give you some perspective and help you to re-evaluate the relative importance of each factor, and determine your next act. It is important to remember that human behavior isn't necessarily reducable to either/or variants, so you may not be able to accurately predict actual results, just potential ones.

EXample: [just to illustrate. This is not intended to be definitive or even necessarily applicable to your situation. think of it as a template to get you started on the decision-making process.]

1. Option one: Continue working out, with no juice. keep dating bf

pros:
1. BF and you keep going along, seeing how relationship develops w/o extra issue of juice.
2. Potential health issues of juice usage avoided. (Note: there may be earlier issues from juice, if you've taken it before, but that is not necessarily a factor in this decision tree.)
3. Can be honest with bf if he asks, "Are you using?"
4. You get whatever size you get, naturally, and are likely to keep it over the long haul.
5. The whole size issue (I want to be 260#) gets put into perspective in your life. You may get to 260#, you may not. What does it matter to you? Why do you want to be 260#? What does that represent to you? Love?
Security? A 260# man is somehow more capable/more deserving of love than a 240# man? Why is that? Do you love someone because of their shirt size or their personality? Do you love yourself because of your pec measurement or your accomplishments, of which physical achievements are one part?

cons:
1. You feel like you've "not given your all" to see what it would be like to be 260#.
[Note: this is presupposing that a. You couldn't get to 260# without juice and b. Being 260# is so desireable in and of itself that it's worth any price, including being alone.)
2. You end up resenting BF because you feel like you made this "great sacrifice" ['I cudda been a 260# contenda'] but for giving it up for him.
3. You and BF break up anyway, over issues totally unrelated to juice--not compatible, he hates your pets, you can't stand his taste in movies, whatever!


2. Scenario 2: You decide to juice, and don't tell bf
Pros:
1. You have a better shot at getting to 260#. [No guarantees here, but a better shot than going natural]
2. You feel jacked/tough/horny/whatever
3. Your workouts go great
4. Maybe he doesn't find out, or, if he does, he ends up not really minding, since you're so hot with your extra size

Cons:
1. You don't hit 260#,even with the juice. OR, if you do, the associated conditions, [shortness of breath, difficulty moving, can't fit into clothes] with the extra size are more troublesome than you anticipated. You have major acne, high blood pressure, and you look like a bloated whale and feel like Henry VIII in his last days...
2. You feel mean/depressed/hostile/agressive.
3. Your workouts go great, but you get injured-tear a pec, or whatever, because your tendons aren't made for this kind of weight.
4. BF finds out and bails at the first opportunity. You're alone---again.


The question to ask yourself in all of this: What do I ultimately want? A chance at a real relationship where I can be honest with another person? Or do I want a spectator who will applaud me and my performance (lookit my big muszles!) but never really talk to or know the 'real' me--that 'worthless' 'less-than-260#-nothing' that I secretly belive myself to be?

Good luck sorting it out!

Mdlftr
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Old August 29th, 2005, 05:09 PM
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Thank's Guys - food for thought

ClayGrant - I've always been very sensitive with training time. My family, friends always come first. Lucky for me my gym is 7/24 . Thanks for the reply bro.

MdLftr - You a therapist? Great input.
Lots to think about. I'm not sure about the sides that you describe in senario 2 but this thread ain't about the effects of juice.

Thanks again.
Peace
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Old August 29th, 2005, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CDNmuscle
MdLftr - You a therapist? Great input.


No, but I play one on tv......


Hope it helps!


Mdlftr
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Old October 13th, 2005, 07:58 PM
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From the way I see it

From the way I see it, he's telling you or rather, asking you not to use it because he cares about you and worries about you, and if you go ahead and do it, he may feel that the worry and respect isn't reciprocated, I'm not saying it isn't, but that is how I would feel in his situation.
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Old October 14th, 2005, 12:07 AM
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HoneyMaid makes me think of a question, is this a health/love issue, or is it a control issue?
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