The parasite superman part 2

[hairyman101]

On his way to the gym icy harris knew he had to find those stupid cops that had put him away in prison the first time for stealing rare chemicals . He knew they worked out there. Shirtless in the hot noon sun icy walked toward the gym not to far from his hideout. He thought "superman want go anywhere the way he is now....chained in my basement.....but he does have a way of getting his strenght back." icy was huge from the draining he had had with superman. His arms were at least 25 inches and his huge chest would tear through any shirt. He stopped before going in...."this power i have only works on men......and this is a male only gym.......if i go in there all will die.....i must pick those cops out one by one......there must be a back way" he went around and tore the back door to the gym off and threw it into the woods.....He went in slowly watching for the men he needed now. as he turned to the left he was in weight room....there were men of all shapes....lifting...talking. "ahhhh there they are....those two guys will learn what hell is !!!!!!!!!!!'" icy walked into the weight room and all the guys stopped. He said ....pointing " come here please mr policemen i need your help" the cops were two huge guys with vieny biceps and hairy chests. They laughed " what the hell could we help you with??/.....you look more than strong enough" icy said " but i need more.....much more!!!!!" All the other guys ran from the room. He surrounded them and they started to feel funny like there strenght was being drawn " "what is wrong with me.....do you feel it??? " the other cop having to sit down said "YES" icy said "IM the parasite and i have come to drain you dry!!!!" "You remember the day you caught me and sent me up to the prison from hell???? " the cop said" icy harris.....what happen to you????"" The parasite laughed" i came up on some nice rare rocks and when i touched them to steal them a strange glow happpen and then men started to fall out........i was draining them of their strenght" the cops getting weaker by the moment tried to fight the parasite but both fiinally had to lay down. "good boys....i knew you could not fight me" the parasite then lay on top of both guys....draining them more....he could feel there cocks against his in their gym shorts getting smaller and he could feel his cock huge and hard rubbing up and down on their chests...."AHHHHHHHHHHH feels good" His biceps were pumped and the viens in his body were pulsing. He got up "opps.....forgot your human.....i killed you both" He saw what was two bodybuilders and now nothing but skin and bones. "that feels better" Icy went out the way he came in. "NO one messes with the parasite!!!!!!!!!!! " " now that i have some revenge on two humans i must get back to superman and some superhuman power"" "I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE STRENGHT OF A HUNDRED MEN!!!!!!!"
Icy went back to the basement and saw that superman was still chained and looked more stronger again. "so super dupe did you miss me????" "Im home and now i need to get this hard cock off......i have been draining men.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" superman raised his head with the dried cum from icy's last jack off....he said "dont....come......any ......closer......i will .......i will........." "You will what?????" icy groared.......then icy took his huge thick cock out and started to stroke it slowly....going toward superman he could feel the power draining into him from his cock......"open wide superman!!!!!!!" icy forced superman's mouth open and slammed his cock into his throat........in and out.....in and out....."aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh this.....feels great.........i willl cum and gag you!!!!!!!!!!!!" the parasite could feel that great feeling of sperm coming up from his balls" here it COMES!!!!!!!" icy (parasite) shot a wad down superman;s throat and gaged him but superman had to swallow...." good boy......theres your protien for the day or maybe for the hour" HAHAHAHAHA.................superman moaned.....his muscles drained and his mouth and throat full of cum......icy smiled " you will be my slave forever superman and when i need you to drain off of i will......" icy then put superman into a bear hug. The two men were one as the super power rushed into icy, the parasite...........face to face icy said " I WILL TAKE ALL YOUR STRENGHT SOMEDAY BUT NOT NOW!!!!!!" dropping superman like a rag doll....the chains rattling........."i am curious.......what does superman look like under that suit and cape???" "i think i will have some fun with my super friend???!!!!!" to be continued.................

[sexiscriptor]

Ok, it made me hard. Good work there.
It made me touch myself. Good work there.
There are however problems that need attention. One is the punctuation: it's hellish and terrifying, and there's far too much of it. Two is the details: there are far too few of these. (He sucks the cops dry--and then what? He's bigger right? But by how much?) Third is the prose: it's awkward and choppy.
This isn't everything, but those are just some of the bigger things I saw. I could probably have made this a PM but honestly these are problems affecting other our stories so I hope that by posting it as a comment the general level of quality will be raised.
(sorry to single you out man; it's nothing personal)

[hairyman101]

I DID send you a PM. But i thought i would write here also since you had the balls to. Who are you again???????????? (silence) ok Dont mean to single you out man......nothing personal.

[sexiscriptor]

Everyone! Please read my official apology to Hairyman101. I am truly and sincerely sorry for having been such a total asshole, and if you'll forgive me and allow me to continue here i will make it up to everyone.