What on Earth part 1

[Frankly]

Hey, long time reader, first time poster. I am new to this whole story thing so bare with me. Let me know what you think and what i can improve on.

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The grass was moist with the dew of a mid summer morn. The sky above, clear, bright, brilliant. Taking a long and needed stretch, I yawn the sleep from my eyes before my senses reconnect with me. My mind begins to race with flashes of memories from the previous night. I sit up and look around. What happened?
I was sitting in a small field in the middle of a dense forest. The grass was long but pressed down from the tire tracks of my ATV. I look to the camera lying at my feet, busted. The whole thing in pieces. So much for my footage from last night. As an astronomy student at the University of Calgary, replacing this camera would be a ways beyond my financial capabilities. Shit. So what happened? My memory is foggy but I do remember a little bit. I had come out to this remote field with my telescope, camera and rented ATV to film the meteor shower last night. Jasper provincial park is far enough from any large light source that I could get a great view of the meteors for my paper. I do remember, they were breathtaking. As an astronomy student though, any form of meteor is fascinating to me. All I can remember is looking through my telescope at the meteors, then a blinding colourful light, and then blank. What was it?
I get up to check the telescope, its my baby really. I saved up for years, birthdays, Christmas, graduation, all the money went to my pride and joy, my brilliant telescope. I check the lens and the eye piece as well as the mirrors inside, everything looks alright. Running my hands over the engraved name on the side, Alexander Taylor Richmond III, I check for scratches. My pride and joy was safe, but my camera, that was another story. Walking around trying to figure out what happened, I stretch my long lanky arms above my head. Yeah, I?m an astronomy student, most of my time is spent in observatories at night so its kinda hard to get to a gym. I?m not horribly out of shape though, 6?1, about 170. My line is English and Scottish so I?m pretty much as white as they come. Being stuck in an observatory at night all the time hasn?t helped with a tan much either. I have tried to stay in shape, going to the gym when I can but I have developed a slight belly, and being tall and lanky, it looks a little odd. I?m kinda skinny fat, if you know what I mean. Looks wise, I would consider myself average but then again, who can tell how good they look. Short brown hair, a sharp nose, purse lips, and an angular face make up the average part. I have been told that I have stunning eyes that see right through people. Brilliant blue eyes that can see into the very depths of your soul. I?m not going to deny that I haven?t used them on a few of the ladies in my day, but cooped up all the time puts restrictions on relationships. I?ve been going through a bit of a dry spell for the past few months, just no time. And now that all my evidence from the meteor shower has been destroyed, I can?t see myself having a lot of extra time available, I hope that its still salvageable.
I start to pack up my things, I disassemble my telescope and place it on the ATV. The remnants of my camera I scrape together and place in my hoody pocket, I?ll have to see what I can do about it. Something?s odd though, I feel off somehow, different. I take a look at my arms and legs, they look like they always did, but I can?t shake the feeling that something is different. I hop on my ATV. Looking back at the field to see if I forgot anything, I noticed a small shiny metalic disc, embedded in the ground close to where my camera was destroyed. Might as well take it, could be a part of the camera, I threw it in my pocket and head off back to campus.
I got to the observatory but Professor McNeil had gone home for the day for some sleep, he apparently stayed up all night to watch the meteor shower as well. Damn, oh well, I guess I will have to talk to him tomorrow. I decided it?d be a good idea to go back to rez and get some sleep too, I still haven?t been able to shake this weird feeling, and my memory of last night is still too fuzzy to make sense. A meal and a good night?s rest should help clear some things up.
I decided to live in rez again because really, I was only close with my professors. Any friends I had made in my previous two years here weren?t really close, and I couldn?t see myself living with any of them, so residence is nice, quiet, and at least I have my privacy.
I decided to stop by the Caf to grab a quick bite. I had no idea I was so hungry and a quick bite turned into an hour long pigout. As I was leaving the caf I ran into my floor monitor, Sherry. She?s a nice girl, short, about 5?2 long curly hair, beautiful smile and breasts that make grapefruits look like apples. I did a walking greet, passed by and waved and said hi. She stopped me, with a quizzical look on her face. ?You look different some how?? I was confused, I had no idea what she was talking about, ?What do you mean?? I asked. She said, ?I dunno, you just look different, cuter. Whatever you are doing, keep it up.? I thanked her and continued on, still a little confused as to what she meant. I went back to my room to crash. Looking in the mirror, something did look odd, about me. Firstly, my five o?clock shadow from the day before had grown in a fair amount thicker than normal. I never had a thick beard, but for some reason it looked thicker this morning, a dense layer of black stubble covering my face, not patchy as it normally grew in. Something else was off but I couldn?t put my finger on it. Exhausted, I ignored the urge to investigate and passed out on my bed. Little did I know that the metallic disc in my pocket was starting to glow.

[Xyggurat]

A promising start.

-X-

[jsmith2300]

Frankly,

I agree with X, this is a promising start. I do hope you will continue!

--JSmith

[Ogun]

I agree with both, but avoid mixing up homonyms, creating comma splices, ad breaking sentences in two. They're minor things but they can really have an effect on your writing.Also, make sure to keep to one tense. You kept jumping betwen the present and past tenses.

[sexiscriptor]

Nice start for sure man, lessee what happens next