"You're too big!"

DaBigGuy1 · #1 March 15th, 2007, 12:31 PM

Simple question.......has anyone ever told you that you may be getting too big? Family? Friends? Co-Workers? Heard it in whispers behind your big back? Or maybe you are just starting out and people are noticing, with remarks like "you don't want to get much bigger than that, do you?".

Just curious to hear the responses, and how did you feel about the remark afterwards?

Ron

1bigwoof · #2 March 15th, 2007, 01:52 PM

Too funny, Ron....I remember when I was first getting serious into weightlifting. I had gone from 140 to about 180 at that point. My best friend's wife made that comment to my friend on several occasions. He had just started working out and she told him, "I think he's just TOO big! You're not going to get that big, are you?"

He told me that he thought I was getting too big as well. Now that I'm closing in on 230, he is now divorced and has made his appreciation of my new size quite clear.

As I hear comments from co-workers about my gains, it definitely encourages me to keep training hard.

arpeejay · #3 March 15th, 2007, 04:02 PM

HOW clear?

Inquiring minds want to know! :-)

xoxo

Richard

DaBigGuy1 · #4 March 15th, 2007, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1bigwoof

Too funny, Ron....I remember when I was first getting serious into weightlifting. I had gone from 140 to about 180 at that point. My best friend's wife made that comment to my friend on several occasions. He had just started working out and she told him, "I think he's just TOO big! You're not going to get that big, are you?"

He told me that he thought I was getting too big as well. Now that I'm closing in on 230, he is now divorced and has made his appreciation of my new size quite clear.

As I hear comments from co-workers about my gains, it definitely encourages me to keep training hard.

Great story, 1bigwoof! And great stats also!

Of course, I and everyone else reading this thread are wondering about when you say your newly divorced friend "making his appreciation of my new size quite clear

" (smile) and how is that? Just curious.....don't have to answer but, I digress, my friend!

It is interesting........I have run into married guys, and have noticed how some of their wives tend to be apprehensive of their training, if not flat out react negatively (and when I say "negative" I also mean in a very passive subtle way "why do you spend so much time at the gym? Do you think you really need to be that big? Skip the gym and spend more time with me...etc etc.) And in some cases even more negative when their hubbies start to show some muscle size.

I'm not say ALL spouses, but there are those spouses, both male AND female that REALLY have a bias towards their hubbies working out and getting big.....

And the thread rolls on....... let's hear the stories out there!

anrikero · #5 March 16th, 2007, 12:54 AM

I am half the way, only 170 lbs here. Last friday when I ate out with my friends, they say to me that I shouldn't get bigger. That I am good with the appearance I have now.

Then I went to the restroom and noticed many guys checking out my ass.

I thought "mmm... yes I WILL be bigger, definetively".

I felt intimidated for too many guys. I am a bit shy. That lately has been changing, I feel more confident and now I wear polo shits that shows perfectly the hard work I have done in the gym. I am liking more the attention I receive. After all, I deserve that, it has been a long way and a hard work.

Back to you Ron.

DaBigGuy1 · #6 March 16th, 2007, 03:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anrikero

I am half the way, only 170 lbs here. Last friday when I ate out with my friends, they say to me that I shouldn't get bigger. That I am good with the appearance I have now.

Then I went to the restroom and noticed many guys checking out my ass.

I thought "mmm... yes I WILL be bigger, definetively".

I felt intimidated for too many guys. I am a bit shy. That lately has been changing, I feel more confident and now I wear polo shits that shows perfectly the hard work I have done in the gym. I am liking more the attention I receive. After all, I deserve that, it has been a long way and a hard work.

Back to you Ron.

And congrats to you, my friend!

From your avatar, your hard work is definitely paying off...bravo! And of course, you know that you've been "bitten" by the muscle bug, and you'll want more!

Does anyone ever wonder what the motivation is of friends who tell you that "you are big enough", or "you shouldn't get any bigger than you already are" and "you look okay already"?. I often wonder if it is jealousy? Or is it that you are looking so muscular and healthy that it makes them look bad? Intimidation? Or are they really concerned about health or ?

Just wondering...... what do you think?

And the thread continues......

BBMikeNJ · #7 March 16th, 2007, 06:44 AM

I had my boss ask me, the first time he saw me in short sleeves, "Looks like you've been hitting the weights pretty hard. Just how big do you want to get?" I could tell by his tone that he thought I was too big already, and I wanted to say " as big as BigGuy1 from the muscle growth forum I love...maybe even bigger," but I didn't say that. I just balled up my arm for him and said, "I don't know, maybe just a little."

Bull · #8 March 16th, 2007, 04:40 PM

In my experience, it is mostly women who make remarks like this, and I think I know why. Women are trained from birth to use their sexual attractiveness to get what they want. When confronted with a man who is extremely handsome or well-built, it is too much competition, a threat.

The most recent example of this I have seen was the reaction of women to Mario Lopez on "Dancing With The Stars." Every woman I spoke with about him thought he was arrogant. In fact, he couldn't have been more self-effacing, but that is their automatic reaction to hot guys.

I've known a dozen straight guys who could have had major physiques, but their wives undercut them at every turn, until they gave-up, and are now typical fat-ass American men. And their wives are delighted.

Of course, this is also reflective of most people's fear and hatred of excellence in general. It shows them up, makes them look bad, so rather than improve themselves, they tear-down those who do.

anrikero · #9 March 16th, 2007, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBMikeNJ

I had my boss ask me, the first time he saw me in short sleeves, "Looks like you've been hitting the weights pretty hard. Just how big do you want to get?" I could tell by his tone that he thought I was too big already, and I wanted to say " as big as BigGuy1 from the muscle growth forum I love...maybe even bigger," but I didn't say that. I just balled up my arm for him and said, "I don't know, maybe just a little."

Well regarding my last job, I think my boss was intimidated by me. Whenever we had a meeting he always kept switching between talking to my face and talking to my arms (those polo shirts...lol) It was funny and weird , at the same time, because he was my boss.

Talking about friends who say "oh you are big enough", I believe that not everybody has been "bitten" by the muscle bug. Besides that they could feel bad because they have another lifestyles which don't involve excercise. However, after a couple of weeks, one of them has started attending to one local gym. I guess he has seen that working out pays off.

DaBigGuy1 · #10 March 16th, 2007, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bull

In my experience, it is mostly women who make remarks like this, and I think I know why. Women are trained from birth to use their sexual attractiveness to get what they want. When confronted with a man who is extremely handsome or well-built, it is too much competition, a threat.

The most recent example of this I have seen was the reaction of women to Mario Lopez on "Dancing With The Stars." Every woman I spoke with about him thought he was arrogant. In fact, he couldn't have been more self-effacing, but that is their automatic reaction to hot guys.

I've known a dozen straight guys who could have had major physiques, but their wives undercut them at every turn, until they gave-up, and are now typical fat-ass American men. And their wives are delighted.

Of course, this is also reflective of most people's fear and hatred of excellence in general. It shows them up, makes them look bad, so rather than improve themselves, they tear-down those who do.

Excellent point, Bull. And yes, I have also noticed that on occasion with women's reaction to muscular or overly-muscular men. I have heard the occasional "ewww!" from some women when they see a very muscular man, but would in themselves get pretty pissed off if that same woman got implants and guys looked at them and said "ewww, water bags!"

Not all women, but there are those out there that know who they are.

And also, yes there are those that for some reason or another, want to derail you and your progress simply because you may make them look bad or they themselves feel inadequate. I can remember one instance when I was at a supermarket checkout line, and I could sense someone was looking at me. I glanced over my shoulder and there was this guy giving me the weirdest look. When I saw him he immediately turned away. Mind you, this guy was obese, out of shape and looked to be in REALLY bad shape. Now, I don't leer or make fun of people in that situation...in fact, if he had come over and made a comment and wanted help I'd be more than happy to help and would sincerely follow up on his progress. But I could tell by his look that he was jealous of my physique, and saddened by his own condition. Of course, if you have that kind of reaction from others/strangers, surely there is some type of reaction that lies within everyone, friends and family alike.

Very interesting.............

DaBigGuy1 · #11 March 16th, 2007, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anrikero

Well regarding my last job, I think my boss was intimidated by me. Whenever we had a meeting he always kept switching between talking to my face and talking to my arms (those polo shirts...lol) It was funny and weird , at the same time, because he was my boss.

Talking about friends who say "oh you are big enough", I believe that not everybody has been "bitten" by the muscle bug. Besides that they could feel bad because they have another lifestyles which don't involve excercise. However, after a couple of weeks, one of them has started attending to one local gym. I guess he has seen that working out pays off.

Hmm....sounds like your boss was intimidated by you, or really admiring you, especially since he kept looking at your arms!

Yes, not everyone gets bitten by the "bodybuilding bug". It takes a certain person, a certain drive, and you gotta want it bad enough! And not necessarily competition, but to get into the gym to build your body up above and beyond the Average Joe. I have met my share of people that say "yes, I want to get arms like you!" or "I want to get BIG!". And after a few weeks in the gym, they fall by the wayside and go back to the simpler routine of falling in front of the TV or the comfortable video game.

But not us, eh?

And the thread continues......!

bulkinupbig · #12 March 20th, 2007, 11:16 AM

I think it all boils down to understanding and/or appreciation for the sport.
My parents believe you can't be too rich or too thin... so when visiting for the holidays they most definitely make comments when bulking...

On occasion, one or two women in the gym will ask "How much bigger are you going to get?"... My response to that is either...
- bigger is better and I smile...
- or everything is in proportion...
- bigger is the goal... and smile...

Bulkinupbig

1bigwoof · #13 March 20th, 2007, 02:43 PM

A man after my own heart....keep it up, Moose!

Juggarnaut · #14 March 22nd, 2007, 02:36 PM

Hey all

I amy only 5'7 but go from 165 to 170 amd everyone at works keeps asking too why I want to get so big or if I wanna be bigger - I tell them my goal and they just look at me like I have heads... there issue, I agree with DaBig .. when the bug bites you there is no turning back.. you begain to crave more muscle and size ( at least in my experince).

Congrats to all you guys who have worked hard and
became huge but not huge enough.

DaBig you are my hero man - you look fantastic , seeing you you makes the craving that much stronger to GROW

Take care all

Jug

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaBigGuy1

Hmm....sounds like your boss was intimidated by you, or really admiring you, especially since he kept looking at your arms!

Yes, not everyone gets bitten by the "bodybuilding bug". It takes a certain person, a certain drive, and you gotta want it bad enough! And not necessarily competition, but to get into the gym to build your body up above and beyond the Average Joe. I have met my share of people that say "yes, I want to get arms like you!" or "I want to get BIG!". And after a few weeks in the gym, they fall by the wayside and go back to the simpler routine of falling in front of the TV or the comfortable video game.

But not us, eh?

And the thread continues......!

Ogun · #15 March 22nd, 2007, 07:28 PM

NOw, I'm nmot a bodybu;lder myself, butI think some of the people here seem to have forgotten that taste DOES vary... not everyone likes absolutely gigantic vascular dudes. Frankly some of the pictures I've seen in some bodybuilding magazines are downright scary! I think, however, ithat it's often the veins and disproportion- I definetliley like Kyle Sommers.
And DBN, I doubt that many women want their men to be unhealthily fat, especially as it could mean problems in the bedroom or losing him early. I think that the key words are "spend more time with me." If a guy spends so much time at the gym that his wife hardly sees him anymore, she's likely to feel neglected and uncared for- wouldn't you? Not every wife can join her man at the gym, either- there may be kids or business to take care of. Buying a home gym and working out as a couple might solve this problem, but only if the guy makes sure to strike a balance between gym and family.

bigitalianboy · #16 March 23rd, 2007, 05:23 PM

My dad told I was getting really big, he said i looked stupid, but we were on our way to a wedding and he just meant the way my tux fit me

Bull · #17 March 29th, 2007, 01:06 PM

I don't think we are talking about differences in "taste." After all, I don't enjoy looking at double-wide derrieres, but I don't walk up to women at WalMart and say: "Don't you think that ass is big enough?" The question is, why do people feel entitled to put people down for being muscular? Clearly, they feel threatened by muscle in a way they don't by other physical differences.

DaBigGuy1 · #18 March 29th, 2007, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bull

I don't think we are talking about differences in "taste." After all, I don't enjoy looking at double-wide derrieres, but I don't walk up to women at WalMart and say: "Don't you think that ass is big enough?" The question is, why do people feel entitled to put people down for being muscular? Clearly, they feel threatened by muscle in a way they don't by other physical differences.

Many good observations and points on this thread, definitely!

And Bull, you are right on target and your point really made me think and I had not thought of things in that perspective before: why would others feel that it is okay to say to a really muscualr individual "you don't want to get any bigger, do you?" or "you're too big!". But (and you made a VERY good point about the Double-Wide Derierre, and funny too!) you would more than likely draw the contempt of everyone within earshot if you were to tell someone that they were getting too fat or if the were a "bag of bones" and should go and eat something......

Very interesting....

Ron

DaBigGuy1 · #19 March 29th, 2007, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juggarnaut

Hey all

I amy only 5'7 but go from 165 to 170 amd everyone at works keeps asking too why I want to get so big or if I wanna be bigger - I tell them my goal and they just look at me like I have heads... there issue, I agree with DaBig .. when the bug bites you there is no turning back.. you begain to crave more muscle and size ( at least in my experince).

Congrats to all you guys who have worked hard and
became huge but not huge enough.

DaBig you are my hero man - you look fantastic , seeing you you makes the craving that much stronger to GROW

Take care all

Jug

Hey Jug,

Thanks for the compliment! That keeps me motivated and on my toes, no end!

Yes, the office environment is always ripe for some type of comments or observation. I can remember some time ago I was working for a brokerage firm in NYC, and there was this guy named Will. I remember him vividly because he was relatively well built, and he would always eat his eggs and oatmeal in the cafeteria. There were days when I could hear people comment on it and some were nice, and others were just downright dumb and would say he was "weird", of course they NEVER said it to his face.

It is a shame that it is easier to pass a quick judgement that to do the education and learn what or who something is all about....

Ron IIII----IIII

NorCalZman · #20 March 29th, 2007, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaBigGuy1

Simple question.......has anyone ever told you that you may be getting too big? Family? Friends? Co-Workers? Heard it in whispers behind your big back? Or maybe you are just starting out and people are noticing, with remarks like "you don't want to get much bigger than that, do you?".

Just curious to hear the responses, and how did you feel about the remark afterwards?

Ron

I havent heard the first one... I WISH I was hearing that I was to big, so dont complain :P Im only 148lbs (5'7") right now. I do hear from my friends and other people that I "shouldnt get to much bigger, you are just right" ...of course Im not listening to them. Seeing community like this is helpin me motivate.

Absman420 · #21 March 30th, 2007, 02:55 AM

I get it all the time from family -- who, ironically, only see me on major holidays. At work, we have a dress code -- long sleeve shirts (buttoned) and ties for the men. On occasion, we have a "relaxed dress" day. Yesterday was one such. I wore a fairly tight t-shirt and the reactions ranged from "I didn't know you were that buff" to "Are you doing those steroids?"

I loved it!!!

I remember being an early teen (probably 14 or 15) and my mother intercepted my letter to the "Atlas Body in 7 Days" ad. She opened the envelope, noticed that I'd checked "Bigger Arms, Huge Chest, Strong legs" and said, "No. You're not going to be one of those freaks!"

LOL -- not that that stopped me.

TheMM · #22 March 30th, 2007, 09:02 PM

Well I'm in no ways muscled at all. But I do remember high school. There was plenty of eye candy back then, some guys were pretty ripped for being 15-18 but none of them were the true "classic jock" size that they could have been. There was alot of potential that I saw which was kept down, hell, they were as skinny as I was only a bit more ripped in some cases. The reason: Their bitchy ass girlfriends who didn't want them to be huge. Obviously implying what's been said on this thread, women don't like to be intimidated...well most of them. Shame really.

Even in college it's the same damn thing, there's so much potential for hot muscled goodness, but it's being pushed down by the women. (Not sexist, just making a point)

suma · #23 April 19th, 2007, 08:36 PM

Yes I love it when guys notice my size, especially when no one esle is around. i get shy around too large a group. but when no one is around I've been known to flex some and strike a few poses when noticed by someone.

can I pose another question? what's everyone's best lifts?
mine:
SQUAT 550
DEADLIFT 580
BENCH 300+ (I don't really work my bench, so as not to get too bulky in chest area
STANDING OVERHEAD PRESS (CLEAN & PRESS) 240

nnnrg · #24 April 20th, 2007, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bull

I don't think we are talking about differences in "taste." After all, I don't enjoy looking at double-wide derrieres, but I don't walk up to women at WalMart and say: "Don't you think that ass is big enough?" The question is, why do people feel entitled to put people down for being muscular? Clearly, they feel threatened by muscle in a way they don't by other physical differences.

Actually, you don't, but the same 'they' do, go up to fat women and give them abuse, and frequently.

Appearance-fascist arrogance is pretty common.