Muscle Orc

[tom256]

This is my first story so no destructive criticism. This story is based on lord of the rings and middle Earth, in my mind And Im not very good at writing stories so sorry if its short.

Dark in the pits of Mordor, orcs were thinking of a way to make the ultimate orc, a powerful mosnter that could be far more deadly than a troll.An oc that could lead the armies of Mordor into victory. After lots of years reseraching, orcs found a potion that could turn an orc into a muscle monster. A fellow orc volunteered to take the potion.

The next day he entered a rocky cave. And all went quiet and still as thi orc took the potion. Minutes passed and nothing happened. But suddenly the orc became dizzy and began to grow, ever so slowly small amounts of muscle began to grow and the skinny orc's arms. But as time passed, the growth became slowly quicker and noticable.Fist the arms became noticable as the arms grew longer as his biceps became larger and larger. The orcs armour became tight and even steel chainmail became to fall off him as his pecs and abs became ever so larger. The calves grew and grew, his legs became longer and wider. The orc also grew from a mere 5 foot 4"(orcs arent very tall anyways), to a huge 6 foot 9".

His growth stopped. "This is perfect" shouted the orc in a deep, evil voice. I can now crush those pathetic men.
"Ah, but more is to happen yet my friend!" said one of the orc scientists. "There is something you wiol soon learn, but you will not know what it is yet. I will see all of you tomorrow, You will find out this secret next week on some prisoners captured just for you. It is time for the evolved and improved orc to rise from the hollows"

To be continued

[Phlex]

You lost me at "Orcs were thinking." :-)

Saruman (or Sauron) is more the genetic-engineering type.

[Ender]

I'm afraid he's right. That's exactly what Saruman was doing all those years in the tower of Orthanc in Isengard, mixing human, orc, other DNA. And the result his work were the fighting Uruk-hai.

Setting your story in an existing "universe" is cool but if you pick one like LotR you need to find a "backwater" sort place that wasn't in the origin story...

My suggeston is that set your story at least 10-20 years after the end of LotR... The Orcs in your story are a small band that escaped the Ent destruction of Isengard and are in hiding. The book supports the idea that Saruman might have created some smart Orks, but you should set that up, so other people don't ask questions about it.

Other than that, you got a decent idea for a story.

The one thing I'm not sure about is your apparent choice of having orcs as your protagonist. Because Tolkien set up the orcs as bad guys that were inevitably defeated by the forces of man. Possibly in the next chapter, you're going to introduce, what will be the hero of this piece. Possibly one or more of the offspring of Merry, Pippen and Sam. They could meet up with the Ents and after a few drafts of Ent brew they would be more than a match for any orc.

Ender

[tom256]

Yeah but you've got to take into account...........................
It's a story
Its fictional
Its not real
Let your imagination run WILD!!!

[RyBearATL]

For those of you who've never seen it look at the following:

http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/

Read them in the order the diaries are presented. You'll be in total stitches before long.

The "Very Secret Diary of Saruman the White" includes the following entry:

DAY TWENTY

Have crossed orcs with goblin men in caverns below Isengard. V. tedious experience as orcs and goblin men most reluctant to breed, even with dinner and flowers. Next time will try something easier, such as breeding goblins and cheerleaders to create super-perky army that can travel by day and will not complain about pink uniforms.

Best,
R