What do you see when you look in the mirror?

b.spencer · #1 April 7th, 2007, 03:32 PM

Hi Guys,

This may sound like a crazy question, but what do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? Do you see the progress you have made (bigger bi's, less body fat, etc.) or do you see what you need to work on or what's lagging behind?

Why the question? Several people around me have started to complement me on better definition, even size, but when I look at myself in the mirror I focus on my problem spots, what I need to work on, and I really do not pay that much attention to the parts of me that are doing well. Don't get me wrong. I love complements because I've worked really hard. But, a lot of time I just don't see it. Am I alone in just seeing what I need to work on?

~Brad

1bigwoof · #2 April 7th, 2007, 04:18 PM

Interesting question, Brad....I'm sure everyone is different in this regard. For me, unfortunately, I normallyy see the 140lb skinny guy I was in college rather than what I've become. Others frequently notice my progress but I generally don't unless I'm doing some kind of side-by-side comparison. What about the rest of you guys?

DaBigGuy1 · #3 April 7th, 2007, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1bigwoof

Interesting question, Brad....I'm sure everyone is different in this regard. For me, unfortunately, I normallyy see the 140lb skinny guy I was in college rather than what I've become. Others frequently notice my progress but I generally don't unless I'm doing some kind of side-by-side comparison. What about the rest of you guys?

Very good question post, b.spencer!

1bigwoof, you took the words right out of my mouth. And I used to think of it as a bad thing, but I realized a long time ago that is more thank likely what keeps me motivated! Of course it always helps when others acknowledge that you are "big" or "built".

Ron III----III

optimusx · #4 April 7th, 2007, 11:01 PM

Depends on the day. I swear there are days I think everyone looks small and then others when I think, "Wow, what are they on". I think it's totally natural to have skewed perceptions depending on the day or situation.

For example: A year or so after I started to workout I was walking outside next to a store and I noticed out of my peripheral vision, that the guy on the other side of the window had a pretty decent chest. He was wearing a similar shirt, color and all. Then it hit me. That was my reflection.

Most of the days I'll swear up and down that I'm shrinking. But I think I do tend to focus on my weaknessess versus enjoying my strengths. I think that may be part of a driving nature.

inflated · #5 April 9th, 2007, 08:25 AM

Years ago when I was at my heaviest, that was also when I felt that I really needed to gain more weight. I was literally bursting out of my clothes but I always felt I should still get bigger. I don't believe in Bigorexia but putting on muscle mass is addictive in a way. I did not think I was skinny but I was by no means satisfied with my size either--for me it was the bigger I got the bigger I wanted to get. That is what makes bodybuilding progress fun.

James35 · #6 April 11th, 2007, 05:42 PM

Great question! Some bodybuilders are the stereotypical vain guys with big egos that think they're huge and ripped and handsome and strut around the gym or the bar like they are the envy of all around. Then there are a few bb's that have actual body image issues that think they're small when they are 260 at 5'10".

But I think many are like me and that the perception varies. Sometimes I see myself in the mirror at the end of a tough workout and I feel like I'm big, I've made great progress and it's a tremendous noticeable difference from a number of years ago. Then other times, like when I'm getting dressed in the morning, I see myself in the mirror and think, "That's it?... I hardly look like I work out!"

Is it that the great feeling of the pump and the soreness add to the visual to make me see the size and the changes better? Even though my progress now is at a slower rate than it once was, I still get comments from friends, relatives and co-workers. This helps a lot so that I rarely get overly unfairly critical of myself; but maybe, as mentioned before, it's this lack of complete satisfaction that keeps us going still striving to improve.

DaBigGuy1 · #7 April 13th, 2007, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James35

Great question! Some bodybuilders are the stereotypical vain guys with big egos that think they're huge and ripped and handsome and strut around the gym or the bar like they are the envy of all around. Then there are a few bb's that have actual body image issues that think they're small when they are 260 at 5'10".

But I think many are like me and that the perception varies. Sometimes I see myself in the mirror at the end of a tough workout and I feel like I'm big, I've made great progress and it's a tremendous noticeable difference from a number of years ago. Then other times, like when I'm getting dressed in the morning, I see myself in the mirror and think, "That's it?... I hardly look like I work out!"

Is it that the great feeling of the pump and the soreness add to the visual to make me see the size and the changes better? Even though my progress now is at a slower rate than it once was, I still get comments from friends, relatives and co-workers. This helps a lot so that I rarely get overly unfairly critical of myself; but maybe, as mentioned before, it's this lack of complete satisfaction that keeps us going still striving to improve.

Very well put, James. and I myself have often wondered why the "attitude" among some of the bodybuilders. I used to think it was the dieting that made them that way, but the ones that do behave that way (the "attitude") must be on a year-long diet! LOL!

Ron III-----III

Jace · #8 April 13th, 2007, 05:08 AM

In 2002 I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. Up until October 2006 I ignored the fact that I truly was diabetic and ate so much crap always avoiding mirrors, avoiding reflections in a store window.

One day I found myself sitting infront of my TV with 2 breakfast sandwhiches, 2 milks and 1 hashbrown from Jack in the Box. The TV went black just long enough for me to look at myself. I was horrified. My weight was 389lbs. I was taking high doses of insulin and my heart was starting to become a problem.

I had avoided the mirror for so long that I chose to ignore what I had become and it wasn't pretty. So here I am in 2007 weighing 30lbs less. Haven't been to fast food, drank soda or my favorite Starbucks in 7 months. I now look in the mirror to remind myself that I have a LONG way to go and that I'm in control and I feel a lot better. Hit my goal of walking 6.4 miles within a two month period which was so amazing to me. I'm more sure of myself.

The changes are slow and I know where I want to be by the time I turn 35 (33 now). But hearing people tell me that they can see the difference and that I'm looking so much better has really helped me.

I'm not a bodybuilder yet, so I right now I can't imagine having muscles in a tight shirt or get stares from hot guys (which has never happened). But I now look in the mirror and can honestly smile at what I am seeing. Just always be true to yourself.

Hope what I just wrote was the kind of answer that you were looking for.

Thanks for posting the question.

arpeejay · #9 April 13th, 2007, 09:31 AM

I think I tend to be a bit optimistic about what I see in the mirror, both in terms of bigness and/or how well it's put together. Right now I'm pretty happy that even though I'm about 30 lbs. lighter than I was at my biggest I think I'm looking pretty good, mainly due to the efforts of th epersonal trainer I hired a few weeks ago (he's been kicking my ass in the gym, yay!) It's not much but I have definition where I didn't have definition before and I'm regaining size and strength (without gaining any weight, it would seem) that I lost during my nearly 6-year hiatus from the gym.

One of the things that I've always found interesting is how other people react to what I look like (overwhelmingly bored indifference but on occasion...) My work attire is quite conservative, slacks and dress shirt and tie, exactly what you would expect of a male librarian in an academic environment. It's not that is sort of purposefully designed to not show off your body. Over the years I've had any number of colleagues stare at me with their jaws open when I came to work (or some social gathering) in a polo shirt and jeans (or, better yet, shorts.) "Gee...," it turns out they didn't realize I had broad shoulders and a big chest, decent arms, an OK midsection, and great legs.

Of course, I tend to get the same kind of reaction when I wear my contact lenses around people who are used to seeing me in glasses. "Oh you look so much better!" (Actually, there was only one person who was THAT blunt and he kinda mumbled the last part when he realized what he was saying!)

Maybe next time we should talk about that other issue facing gay men of a certain age, namely;

Creeping invisiblity

xoxo

Richard

at 49 yrs and 2 days

James35 · #10 April 13th, 2007, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace

In 2002 I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. Up until October 2006 I ignored the fact that I truly was diabetic and ate so much crap always avoiding mirrors, avoiding reflections in a store window.

One day I found myself sitting infront of my TV with 2 breakfast sandwhiches, 2 milks and 1 hashbrown from Jack in the Box. The TV went black just long enough for me to look at myself. I was horrified. My weight was 389lbs. I was taking high doses of insulin and my heart was starting to become a problem.

I had avoided the mirror for so long that I chose to ignore what I had become and it wasn't pretty. So here I am in 2007 weighing 30lbs less. Haven't been to fast food, drank soda or my favorite Starbucks in 7 months. I now look in the mirror to remind myself that I have a LONG way to go and that I'm in control and I feel a lot better. Hit my goal of walking 6.4 miles within a two month period which was so amazing to me. I'm more sure of myself.

The changes are slow and I know where I want to be by the time I turn 35 (33 now). But hearing people tell me that they can see the difference and that I'm looking so much better has really helped me.

I'm not a bodybuilder yet, so I right now I can't imagine having muscles in a tight shirt or get stares from hot guys (which has never happened). But I now look in the mirror and can honestly smile at what I am seeing. Just always be true to yourself.

Hope what I just wrote was the kind of answer that you were looking for.

Thanks for posting the question.

Thanks a lot Jace for telling your story! Congrats on the progress you have made so far, and more importantly, the change in attitude that will allow you to keep making progress until you reach your goals. I'm glad you posted your experiences as maybe it will help to inspire others out there to make changes necessary to reach their goals too.

Jace · #11 April 13th, 2007, 08:43 PM

Thank you James. It means a lot.

SteepMike81 · #12 April 15th, 2007, 04:17 PM

Since i've started working out a few months ago i've been feeling a lot better about myself. Like every morning when i goto shower and look at myself in the mirror, i'm quite pleased with how thigns are progressing. My only problem is my gut that won't seem to go away but that's probably to do more with my training and that i eat out and hardly cook. But in general i'm happy.

Minotaur · #13 April 16th, 2007, 04:17 PM

I'm starting to like what I see in the mirror.

I thought I liked what I saw before, but I realize that was a cop out. I've had a hard time dropping the excess fat due to a combination of thyroid and testosterone deficiencies and Metabolic Syndrome w/insulin resistance, i.e. diabetes. So I thought I was content to be a muscle bear. Yes, big husky guys are a turn on (Billy Mays gives me such a boner). But I was getting tired of that for me.

Starting in February of this year I changed my workout routine to focus less on power and maxes, and more on bodybuilding and cardio. I changed my diet back to keto, which works when I do it right. Now I'm starting to see some leaning out, and my pants are fitting better.

Bull · #14 April 18th, 2007, 01:17 PM

I don't think very many guys who train have an accurate sense of what they look like, myself included. I only see the negatives not the positives in myself, as a rule. In my experience, the guys who are full of themselves and think they are all that usually aren't at all. It's the dissatisfaction that keeps us training.

nj. · #15 April 18th, 2007, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1bigwoof

For me, unfortunately, I normallyy see the 140lb skinny guy I was in college...

So do I,

Problem is that it's actually the truth in my case

DonnieJvilleNC · #16 April 19th, 2007, 08:04 PM

Brad,

Sorry to be late in answering your post. Just catching up on the Forums.

I know what you mean about looking into the mirror. I often see myself as the obese guy I was back in October 2002. Once in a blue moon, I'll catch my reflection and actually "see" what I look like now. More often than not, though, I see my problem areas and not my improving areas.

Digibacker · #17 April 20th, 2007, 10:28 AM

For me it varies depending on a number of factors. One is my mood. When I'm depressed, for whatever reason, I see all the flaws -- bony shoulders, shallow chest, bloated belly. But when I'm in a good mood, I'm pleased with how much beefier I am than when I was 175lbs.

But here's a big one -- the difference before and after working out. Obviously one gets bigger when pumped, but it's really not by much, maybe half to a full inch per body part. However, the difference in perception is enormous. Before working out, (depending on my mood), I'll be thinking, "okay, pretty beefy". Then after I'm done, when everything's bulging, I'll think, "Whoa! I look huge!"

Get a bit of fluid in my muscles and suddenly I think I'm massive.

Digibacker · #18 April 29th, 2007, 11:03 AM

I just remembered another thing that changes my perception of what I see in the mirror -- whether I'm alone or someone else is in the reflection. I noticed that at work this week. When I was in the washroom by myself, I looked big-ish but fairly ordinary. But I'm also quite tall -- 6' 1" -- and I tend to forget that I'm taller than average. So, when someone else came into the washroom about 5' 10", then I realized how big I actually was.

By the way, here's a really bad picture I took recently, but it'll give you all an idea of where I'm at. (For the record, the waistline is 37" but the belly is 44" -- I"m working at getting that down now.)

db-torso-2007-03.jpg

DaBigGuy1 · #19 April 29th, 2007, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digibacker

I just remembered another thing that changes my perception of what I see in the mirror -- whether I'm alone or someone else is in the reflection. I noticed that at work this week. When I was in the washroom by myself, I looked big-ish but fairly ordinary. But I'm also quite tall -- 6' 1" -- and I tend to forget that I'm taller than average. So, when someone else came into the washroom about 5' 10", then I realized how big I actually was.

By the way, here's a really bad picture I took recently, but it'll give you all an idea of where I'm at. (For the record, the waistline is 37" but the belly is 44" -- I"m working at getting that down now.)

db-torso-2007-03.jpg

I agree with you totally. We are the same height, and sometimes it doesn't dawn on me that 6' 1" is not considered and "average height". And in public I always tend to look/ focus on the taller guys as a reference, however I rarely ever see really muscled guys at 6' 1" or over, and I know they are out there.

Ron III----III

NCBodybuilder · #20 April 29th, 2007, 01:19 PM

Most of the time, I have to say that I feel I am the poster boy for muscle dysmorphia...even though I could be huge by someone's standards, all I see is the smaller guy I was starting out (I was only 135 lbs at 23yo, when I graduated college...started bodybuilding 6 months after that).

However, I can really identify with what James35 posted as well, in that some days I feel I look jacked and diesel for some reason and then even moments after that or some other time, I feel like I don't even look like I seriously lift weights at all!

I have learned though to keep your perspective positive and it shows through.

http://www.bigmuscle.com/~ncbodybuilder

xythan_shadow · #21 May 9th, 2007, 12:44 AM

To be honest, I can only see my faults when I look in the mirror. I have people saying I'm making progress, but all I can see is the everything that needs work. I see my huge gut and flabbiness, but I can't see the changes. I've had people say they would kill for my calves, but the only thing I can think of is, "Yeah, if only the rest of my body were like my calves" or "Yeah, how many people actually appreciate legs like me"

Most of the time, we're our own worst critic. As long as it doesn't break one mentally, sometimes criticism works.

Max Mann · #22 May 9th, 2007, 06:46 AM

Here's what I find...it's not just what I see in a mirror, it's also where the mirror is, how the light is hitting my body, etc. I'm used to my bathroom mirror and checking my progress before it, and to a lesser extent my gym's mirror. But this weekend I noticed myself from different ones, inside a hotel men's room and while walking down the street checking my reflection in various windows. And that's where I could really see the changes to my arms and chest...and even my ass as I walked. I did a double bi in the bathroom mirror, and my 17" arms looked pretty darn big as a reflection. It also helped I was wearing a fairly tight shirt. In dressing rooms I've also noticed the changes more, probably because of the overhead lights hitting my pecs at a different angle. I'm sure this is why the same body can look different in photos as well.

I still remember the skinny geek I was in high school (6'3" and maybe 150 lbs.), so to see muscle on me is wonderful, as well as hearing the compliments from others. I'm pretty much at my heaviest (about 233 lbs.), and still a little bit of belly on me, but otherwise I think I'm looking pretty damn good...and getting better with each workout.

DaBigGuy1 · #23 May 10th, 2007, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Max Mann

Here's what I find...it's not just what I see in a mirror, it's also where the mirror is, how the light is hitting my body, etc. I'm used to my bathroom mirror and checking my progress before it, and to a lesser extent my gym's mirror. But this weekend I noticed myself from different ones, inside a hotel men's room and while walking down the street checking my reflection in various windows. And that's where I could really see the changes to my arms and chest...and even my ass as I walked. I did a double bi in the bathroom mirror, and my 17" arms looked pretty darn big as a reflection. It also helped I was wearing a fairly tight shirt. In dressing rooms I've also noticed the changes more, probably because of the overhead lights hitting my pecs at a different angle. I'm sure this is why the same body can look different in photos as well.

I still remember the skinny geek I was in high school (6'3" and maybe 150 lbs.), so to see muscle on me is wonderful, as well as hearing the compliments from others. I'm pretty much at my heaviest (about 233 lbs.), and still a little bit of belly on me, but otherwise I think I'm looking pretty damn good...and getting better with each workout.

I agree. The mirror and lighting do make a big difference! I joined a gym recently that has the BEST mirror and lighting for showing off the muscle. Every now and then, after getting my workout in I strip down to my posing trunks and pose to see what needs work, what's lacking, etc etc. I'm sure some guys are taken aback when they walk in, but it is about building up your body and those ARE mirrors, right??

Ron III---III

1bigwoof · #24 May 10th, 2007, 02:45 AM

Right on, Ron! There are some really great mirrors in my gym....

Juggarnaut · #25 May 14th, 2007, 11:22 AM

On the occasion I still see the very thin 126# boy from many years ago - I have struggled to add size my entire life. but as i get older the mirror has become much kinder in my opion and i can start to appreciate the hard work I have put in to many years of training .... though i tend to be my own worst critic and focus on what needs to be worked on rather then what looks awsome....

On the flip side though there are days when the lighting is just so that i want to stand in front of the mirror and lift in nothing but my jock _ LOL course that would problably get my memebership revoked .... but the sight of myself when lifting and you notice for the 1st time that you look fuller or a vein is showing more ... well is too much to handle some days .

Thanks for listen to my rambling - long time lurker - but finally have the nerve to speak up the last few weeks. ( hard for me to put my words down so sorry if i seem scattered)

i enjoy everyones post here on the site

jugg

bigitalianboy · #26 May 31st, 2007, 01:37 PM

I've always loved what I looked like, especially thru high school, I've always been big, but ripped too. But now since i started working on gaining alot more weight, I've kinda lost my abs and my ass is getting pretty big and my waist went from a 34 to a 36. I miss my abs, but i really want to gain weight too, kinda a weird dilemma

1bigwoof · #27 May 31st, 2007, 02:02 PM

Man, when you weigh 300+ pounds, you're entitled to have a 36" waist. To most of us, you're still incredibly lean. Keep growing and then diet back to get your abs to return. Good luck!