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| | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Rate Thread | Display Modes |
 April 10th, 2013, 06:44 AM | |||
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| The Porn Star Last edited by arpeejay; Yesterday at 08:37 AM.     |
| The Following 23 Users Say Thank You to arpeejay For This Useful Post: | ||
BGrizzly (April 10th, 2013), chocomus (April 24th, 2013), convolution (April 11th, 2013), dartagnan (April 10th, 2013), dickasauras (December 19th, 2013), flange (April 11th, 2013), hardmuscl4life (April 10th, 2013), hotmuscle_101 (April 10th, 2013), Jaekel (April 10th, 2013), Jockmorphr (April 11th, 2013), LanceFan2001 (April 12th, 2013), littledude (April 11th, 2013), Lukullus (April 10th, 2013), michaelv2 (April 10th, 2013), mlbjock (April 10th, 2013), Mr_Izom (April 10th, 2013), MuscleChgo (April 15th, 2013), nnnrg (April 10th, 2013), Ragetiger (April 10th, 2013), reader14 (April 14th, 2013), renbear (April 10th, 2013), Spab (April 10th, 2013), Terrylee Long (April 10th, 2013) | ||
| April 10th, 2013, 06:58 AM | |||
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| I love the way this is going. But here's something weird. Why did Trey break it off? They were boyfriends, after all, and it seems like a dick move to abandon your friend, or ex boyfriend, in this case, simply because he doesn't want to play football. But that's just me. Trey may have always been mean, and we only saw the better side of him, as in, the cocky side, but I find that hard to imagine by how the narrator describes him ("He spoils me..." "That was when I found out I was versatile with a capital V", etcetera. Why? Bad people don't get dominated. Bullies base their existence off dominating others). That was the only fault I could find, and when I start nitpicking about characters, you know that your story is at such a high level of perfection that I can't criticize anything else. Lastly. 15 inches... I want to see that __________________ Don't tell anybody, but mind control gets me going every time. |
| April 10th, 2013, 08:44 PM | |||
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| CSULB! Class of 2011  how'd you end up using LB for your story? |
| April 10th, 2013, 11:45 PM | |||
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| "They said, California is the place to be, so he loaded up his truck and he moved to Beverley...." |
| April 11th, 2013, 03:57 AM | |||
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| Quote:
xoxo Richard |
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