MYOv1 Part:1

[IndigoSensor]

So this is the first story I am going to post here. I have written other things in the past, but there all incomplete, and not that good. So please be nice and post any response or comment you have. Positive or negitive. I'm not the best writer, so imput is really helpful. Just as a note, I have the entire plot set in my head but advice might change it. Growth problly won't begin until the 3rd part, mabye the 2nd. So without further adu, I give you MYOv1

[COLOR=Blue]MYOv1[/COLOR]

[COLOR=DarkGreen][COLOR=Teal]“Shouldn’t we put this away?”. “It’s incomplete, and at no risk, just leave it be for now… just get rid of the peptide chains.” *knock knock* “quick, get out of here now.”

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[/COLOR] [/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]
“The weather channel said it was going to be 60 degrees, not 40” I said annoyed, as I wandered back to my dorm room, not paying much attention to my surroundings, or the subtle chatter of fellow students. I zipped my sweater up to keep out the October breeze.

[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]“I better hurry up and get back, Kyle said he had important news, and he is heading home for the weekend.” I thought to myself. Several girls near by laughed quietly and looked in my direction in a rather amused way. I must have thought out loud again, as usual. I shrugged it off and quickened my pace. Kyle had been jumping all over the place about his swimming match today. No doubt, that this “news” he had was about this.

[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]Several more minutes passed as I made my way into our room. Muffled eletronica came from the other side of the door. “DUDE! I WON!” Kyle nearly threw me into the door as he leaped at me in excitement. His chiseled body felt quite warm as he climbed off me, he must have been ecstatic all day to still be this flushed. “I WON, JOHN!” he shouted again. Several girls shouted to shut the door from the hall way.

[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]“You said that once before, and you can stop dancing around, you’re flushed enough to begin with.” I stated in a purposefully uninterested tone. His skin turned red so easily when excited. He ignored my comment and continued to bounce around the room, his flushed skin looked golden red agents the setting sunlight coming in the window. His dark brown eyes showed pure elatedness.
[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]
“So I’m assuming you won your first meet today? Good job, now if you don’t mind lets go eat something before you have to go for the weekend, I have to get an old lab paper about the lab I have running over in the biology building, so were both in a rush.”
[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]
“Not anymore, I told my parents I’m staying here this weekend. I'm 19; I can do what I want; besides I want to hang around with you and a bunch of people. Plus, I don’t feel like driving for 6 hours. Oh my god I still can’t believe won at my first swim meet!” He ran out the door shouting. I went after him to find him swinging his shirt in the air as girls cooed and whistled at him. He had the perfect build for a swimmer, extremely narrow waist. Last time he told me it was 27 inches. Quite crazy even for someone who is 5’9. Broad shoulders, long torso, long arms, short legs. His hands and feet were huge, though it clearly helped him with swimming. People who visit our room frequently call him Bigfoot. He never fails to point out that me where the same size 14 shoes as him and instantly goes quiet. Though it looks less awkward on me seeing as I am 6’2. Those feet of his weren’t fit for him.
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“YEAHHH ohpp *Thud*” Kyle crashed into a wall tripping over his own 2 feet again, I laughed seeing as I was just thinking about that.
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“Ok enough of this endorphin high from you, let’s be civil, and go eat” I said as I grabbed him by his arm and picked him up.
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“Ouch! Watch it! Ok, I’m calm now let’s go eat.” Kyle said in an exhausted tone.

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[COLOR=DarkGreen]
I sat down across from Kyle as he chatted with a girl from his calculus class. She seemed kind of annoyed, most likely due to the garlic pizza Kyle was eating.
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“Think that’s enough food for you?” I said poking fun at him.
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“Haha, some calc expert you are… I'll cya tomorrow… I’ll leave you with your friend here. Bye” she smiled sweetly, and winked at both of us.
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“Cya Katie.” Kyle said redirecting his attention to me.
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We chatted and ate slowly, Kyle brought up that over the past month of training he noticed he has been growing more rapidly, and then he has in the past. Being a late bloomer, he had a bit left in him. Now that he did mention it, he did look slightly different. His face looked more angular, very Slovakian looking just like his heritage. It seemed like the area where his beard grew spread more.
[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]
“I haven’t gotten any taller though, it sucks I thought I was going to start growing into these feet, but they have a mind of there own, I think I’m up to a 15 now.” He said quietly and slightly embarrassed. He was quite a hansom person, but this one flaw really bothered him.
[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]
“I guess you can say the same for your hands, look” I held mine up to his, and his extended slightly passed mine, which means they must have been at least 9 inches. He quickly snatched his hands away and rubbed them under the table.
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“Yeah… I know… just like don’t make it so noticeable like that” he said quietly again. Two jocks looked over from across the room and just laughed.
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“Dude, who honestly cares, if anything that’s a great asset for your swimming, you have the ideal build for it. Besides your ripped now, I mean look at your abs, and heck the rest of you in general. Your extremities must just have a hormonal sensitivity, no need to be embarrassed,” I said as we picked up our trays and headed out. Cheering up Kyle was no small feat, evident that he didn’t seem much better now.
[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkGreen]
“Thanks doctor science, but yeah whatever, I still feel like an idiot for running around earlier, then tripping over myself again… I need to calm down my ADHD it blocked my inhibitions when I get spastic like that and I totally regret it and get embaressed” He said looking for pity.
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“All right all right. Enough about that lets head over to the bio building real quick then we can look for something to do.”
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[COLOR=DarkGreen]
About 20 minutes passed and we entered the empty building. It was rather eerie to enter a place you know at night. The halls were cool, our shoes echoed as we walked down the hall.
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“Echo, echo, echo… hahah” Kyle said trying to be silly
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“Mr. Inhibitions huh?” I said to counter him
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“I could care less, it’s only you here right now.” Kyle reached over and entered the room. “What’s that smell? Its kind of like apples” Kyle said inquisitively.
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“Its probably just leftover ester reactions, some chem labs are done in this building too. Give me a second to find the lab folders. Don’t touch anything.” I scolded at Kyle, while focusing on the filing cabinet. I opened it and dust flew in the air glowing in the lamps nearby. I guess this was an old lab paper.
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“Woahhhhhh this stuff feels freaky; it’s slimy and sticky at the same time, look, and its neon blue too!” Kyle said amused poking at a small vile but oblivious to what he is doing.
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“What are you doing! Wash that off right now! That could be a flesh eating protein for all we know!” I yelled as I ran over to him.
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“Ohhhh germs! Haha.” He waved his hand at me with a blue substance covering his index finger and thumb.
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“Wash your big banana hands off right now!” I said, hoping the offence would make him listen.
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“Heh…” Kyle immediately went to the sink, and washed it off with the help of some ethanol. “Sorry dude lets go” he said quietly and walked behind me not saying a word.
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“Seeing as you’re not a science major you wouldn’t know, you never ever touch anything unlabeled or something you don’t know. If that were methyl mercury, you would have died a month later.
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“Ok” again he went silent.
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Maybe I shouldn’t have used that insult. Kyle seems to be easily embarrassed about anything dealing with his apperence. He gets like this when people tease him about his big eyebrows too. I should lay off him about that then; he’s too good of a friend to chase off.
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“Look, I’m sorry for offending you about your hands; I just needed to get your attention.” I said in a serious, apologetic tone.
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“Its all right” he sounded a little better, but said nothing more.
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“Like I said before, you’re ripped, that should make up for anything else you feel subconscious about, here, let me see.” I started to lift up his shirt, but he stopped me.
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“Why?” he asked.
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“You do swimming, how could you be embarrassed about this as well” I questioned him
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“*sigh* fine…” he lifted off his shirt to show off; he started to smile accentuating his cheek bones, clearly enjoying the attention. He flexed his mid-section and arms as hard as he could. I walked around him and examined him. His abs were ripped as hell, you could see each line and valley clearly even from a distance. His pecs weren’t huge by most standards but on him looked huge on his broad muscled shoulders, even furthering it by his narrow waist. His belt was pulled to the last hole. He had very veined arms and decent size biceps. His back muscles twisted all over, in the dim light it looked like a photograph. I could see his v-taper starting to become more prominate. He started to turn red from flexing so long. He stopped and started panting. His brown black hair glistened in the light when he bent on his knees. I then noticed his torso was completely hairless.
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“Damm, how big are your arms?” I said, inflating high ego.
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“16 inches last time I checked.” He said sitting up.
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“Not bad for a swimmer, especially just starting out. See? There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Your hairless too, that’s a huge bonus” I sad playing him up more.
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“I hope it stays that way, that’s the last thing I want” He said nervously, and applying more negative attacks to himself.
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“Oh don’t worry about it, its no big deal, I mean look at me. I could care less” I held up my shirt to reveal slight abs and a patch of light brown hair all over them.
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“Gross! And what’s with all this showing off between us, are you some kind of queer or something?” he said more perked up now.
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“Nah, just trying to cheer you up, I felt bad for yelling at you.” I said cheerfully.
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“Yeah riiiiiight”, he ran ahead a little and slipped his shirt back on. “Common!”
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“I’m coming!” I yelled back. Haha, but only if he knew… but now is not the time. We ran back to our dorm and went off to sleep for the night…[/COLOR]

[tallcalifornia]

Nice start--looking forward to the next part.

[giantw]

The spelling looks fine to me. I am intrigued. Can't wait for the next installment!

[Bull]

Great start.

[Rex20]

awesome beginning man. Can't wait to see what happens !

[muscl4life]

Very promising start, just take your time and make sure to explore your own fantasies, I always say that a great story gets you in the first line... and this is no exception to the rule.

Congratulations, keep up the great work

Cheers

[Vallance]

Awesome start, can't wait to read the rest!

[sexiscriptor]

glad to hear you've (mostly) got it all planned out; that should make it at least a lil easier to write, right? I hope

I really like their repartee; it's playful and real, but there's enough concern (even tenderness) in the subtext to make it extra interesting (like when john feels bad about targetting kyle's large hands to get his attention so he pumps up his ego a bit to compensate/make up for it). That's really nice, and I"m really looking forward to where this is headed

[IndigoSensor]

Thanks for all the kind words everyone! As well as those who have PM'ed me. It means quite a bit. Im going to start writing the 2nd part within the hour. But, I graduate highschool tommrow so I'll be busy for a while, so be paient if its not up tonight. Also, post what you may or may not want to see. I have several ideas where to take this, however i cant use them all and there easily changeable. So if everyone has a general consensus i can alter the plot. Ive allready gotten some imput.

[Mad Dog]

It's easy to get excited and post your story right away, but you should try to give stuff a careful second-look before you post. I noticed some typos and stuff. And some of the dialogue came off as a little unnatural. Maybe you can improve by paying attention to how people talk in your everyday life to get an idea of how to write it.

[IndigoSensor]

Originally Posted by Mad Dog

It's easy to get excited and post your story right away, but you should try to give stuff a careful second-look before you post. I noticed some typos and stuff. And some of the dialogue came off as a little unnatural. Maybe you can improve by paying attention to how people talk in your everyday life to get an idea of how to write it.

I try to work on my tpos, but theres always a handful that slip through. I try though. I do pay attention to people in life with dialouge, however, your right. I did get excited and rush this. I didnt check the structure as much as I should have. My speaking pattern is unnatural, and its hard for me to put pauses in the dialouge where i would want them. Thanks for pointing that out though!

[chocomus]

I'd like to read more of this. It's seems good

[Mad Dog]

Originally Posted by IndigoSensor

I try to work on my tpos, but theres always a handful that slip through. I try though. I do pay attention to people in life with dialouge, however, your right. I did get excited and rush this. I didnt check the structure as much as I should have. My speaking pattern is unnatural, and its hard for me to put pauses in the dialouge where i would want them. Thanks for pointing that out though!

You're welcome! It's nice to see my criticisms received the way I intended them. :3

[jsmith2300]

Indigo,

Fun premise so far. Looking forward to you exploring Kyle's (impending) growth. I've enjoyed the set up of your first chapter.

Congrats on your graduation from high school!

--JSmith