The theorum of chaos, PT 2

[Excelsior]

[COLOR=#000000]‘Are you all right? Joe? JOE?!?! Oh crap oh crap oh crap, what happened to you, can you hear me?[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘Yeh’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘How do you feel?’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘Like I’ve just been hit by a million volts.’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘Actually it was only 752.’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘Oh…’[/COLOR]


[COLOR=#000000]‘David, You allright? Can you hear me?’ A voice echoed around me, I couldn’t track down who it was, but I soon did, and I couldn’t help but to smile inwardly. Looking down on me was the handsome 15-year-old features of Joe, his long dark haired fringe hanging down over his forehead, a concerned look on his face.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘I have the biggest headache ever, an insatiable urge to kill Matt, but other than that… why are you cradling your arm?’ I suddenly noticed that at the same time that everyone was crowded around and whispering about me, he was cradling and massaging his upper arm.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘When Matt punched you in the back of the head, you forehead smacked into my arm.’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘It did? but it feels like I’ve just smacked a brick wall.’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘I had my bicep flexed when you hit me.’ It took a few seconds for this sentence to register in my addled mind, My head just smashed into his arm while it was flexed and it feels like I’ve hit a brick wall!?!? The strength of him never ceases to amaze me. When he first came to the school about a year ago, he’d been alone and separated from the only friends he knew by 300 miles. I immediately showed him around the school, helped him get onto the social ladder, and as I predicted he quickly rose through the primitive pecking order of a contained adolescent society. But he didn’t turn against me as I’d expected, and he’d helped me any time he could ever since. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]Before I could do anything else however, a random neuron deep in the dark recesses of my mind fired, and created a cascade reaction, like a chain of dominoes falling over, the only side effect of my… abilities. My mind was quite literally rebooting like a computer. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]I suddenly sat up straight, startling Joe so he fell backwards and scaring the twittering arsewits around me and yelled, ‘I call science the rape of the natural world!!!’. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]Blackness settled after that.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000]I stood at the window overlooking the city, seeing the sun slowly rise above the horizon. I do that every morning, stand at what the military call an “at ease” position, and think. That’s all I do now, just think. A loud thump echoed down the hallway, and out came the muscled hulking form of Joe from his room. He was wearing only his boxers, which struggled to contain his bulge. With balls that size it puts a whole new meaning on ‘Battle of the bulge’.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]I smiled my usual friendly smile at him. ‘Good morning Joe, I trust you had a pleasant sleep?’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘As always David, and I have you to thank for it,’ he replied in his deep sexy voice.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘Before you ask you didn’t keep me awake last night, I was busy finishing up on some business proposals.’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]His demeanour suddenly changed from one of just-woken-up tiredness, to a defensive posture, before he settled to just leaning casually on the door frame.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘Yeh, it was good last night.’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]‘How is she?’[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000]He suddenly looked guiltily at me, ‘She’s fine, thanks for caring.’[/COLOR]

[Ender]

Hmmm... Interesting but a bit cofusing too.. I think there may be some points that are in your mind as you're writing that don't make it to the "paper"... I tend to do the same thing so I generally put stuff I write away for a couple of days and then proof read it before I post... That way I'm more likely to notice that I left out something the reader needs to know that was obvious to me as I wrote it down... You don't want to tell the reader everything but if he gets too confused he'll stop reading... And I think you're treading very close to that line...

Yeah... Chaos is one of those concepts that are so obvious once you hear about them, you slap yourself in the head and say "Of course... why didn't I think of that!" The macroscopic expression of the quantum "Uncertainty Principle."

Ender