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 August 11th, 2007, 09:08 AM | |||
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| Touched: Ten Previous Installments: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Touched Ten “What’s taking so long?” Samson asked out loud mostly to himself as he paced around the waiting room. It had been half an hour since the last word about Logan had came, and now he waited anxiously for the news to come that said he was going to be alright. “He’s going to be alright.” Samson muttered to himself as he continued to pace around. “He HAS to.” “Logan will be okay.” A small voice spoke from a chair against the wall. Samson Immediately turned his head towards the speaker, a small six year old girl still wearing her pajamas. “Daddy is a good doctor. He’ll heal Logan up right away.” Samson smiled weakly at little Eve, but he didn’t feel much better. Shortly after he had arrived at the hospital, the Wardens had all came. Immediately Mr. Warden had joined the other doctors in treating his son while the rest of the family went into the waiting room with Samson. Samson didn’t really have a problem with Mrs. Warden or Eve, but Riley had come as well. The two of them had sat on opposite ends of the room, neither one taking their eyes off of the other. Riley’s expression was that of pure hatred, while Samson countered with his own brand of defiance. After an hour, a nurse came in announcing that Mrs. Warden and Riley could now come. Samson nearly lost his temper when he heard that Riley, the same Riley that had treated Logan so badly, was going to see Logan before he did. So, in order to get back at him, Samson had offered to look after Eve. Automatically Riley’s face turned red with fury at the mere thought of leaving the little girl in his care, but said nothing. So now Samson was there babysitting Eve while Riley was doing who knows god what with Logan. -wondered why I was still alive. Samson’s head snapped up. Where had that thought come from? That stray thought had felt completely detached from his, and yet he had heard it clearly as if someone had spoken directly into his head. At that moment the door of the waiting room swung open and immediately Samson broke out of his thoughts in anticipation. However to his disappointment, it was only Sophie and Howard. “Oh, it’s you.” Samson let out a deep breath and sat down in a chair. “It’s nice to see you too.” Sophie replied coolly. “Sorry.” Samson apologized quickly. The moment Sophie stepped into the room, he felt his nerves begin to settle down and his mind clear up a bit. “Have you heard anything about Logan?” He asked hopefully. “The doc said he’s going to be alright.” Howard announced in an off hand manner. Immediately Samson sank into his chair as he felt all of his worries and tensions vanish all at once. Logan was going to be alright! -looks really tired. I probably worried her half to death. Samson’s head shot up. There it was again, that voice in his head! He knew that hearing voices wasn’t exactly a good sign, but it sounded too distinct and real to be a figment of his imagination…at least, he hoped it wasn’t. The strangest part about the whole thing was that the voice had sounded a bit like Logan. Thinking about Logan brought something to mind. “Sophie, did you know Logan cuts himself?” He raised his head and looked at the beautiful teenaged girl. Sophie stood there, her face stern. “Yes.” She said finally. Samson felt a spark of anger ignite in him, but was quickly doused. The next question would have been why Sophie never told him about it before, but he knew that he wouldn’t get a straight answer. He had learned that two days ago when he found out that they were friends of Logan as well and refused to leak any information. “Do you know why he does it?” He asks instead. “Yes.” Sophie replied. Howard suddenly appeared to be nervous and threw glances between the two of them. The two of them stared hard at each other, neither of them blinking. It was a match of will, and Samson knew if he didn’t pass he would never be able to find out the truth again. “Will you tell me why he does it?” Samson asked after Sophie didn’t continue. “Yes.” “Sophie!” Howard exclaimed. “He deserves to know.” Sophie said without turning to face him. “But Sophie, you can’t!” Howard said to her. “We need to present it to the council and request a through investigation and everything! If you tell him straight out, they’ll-” “Wouldn’t you wish to know if it was I in that hospital bed and you were in Simon’s place?” Sophie turned her steely gaze on her boyfriend. Howard took an involuntary step back, but his face grew grim. “Alright, then I’m help you break the news to him. That way we’ll share the punishment.” “You fool.” Sophie chided, but her eyes showed softened at his words. Samson cleared his throat, bringing their attention back onto him. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting something, but can someone please explain everything to me?” “Of course.” Sophie replied. “But only after you explain to me why you are here.” Samson blinked. “Wh..why am I here?” He asked, not sure if he heard right. “Because Logan is my friend, that’s-” “Logan is not your friend and you know it.” Sophie cut him off. Samson felt his heart seize up. It took him a few moments before his anger took over. ‘How can you say that? Logan is my friend!” “And I suppose a friend would tell the other that he never wanted to see him again?” Sophie asked. Samson felt his heart stop again. “H-how did you-” “It doesn’t matter how I know.” Sophie cut him off once again. “What I want to know why you wanted to be with Logan, even though Logan very distinctly stated that he did not desire your friendship?” “W-well…” Samson looked at the ground. It was the same question he had been asked many times, but not like this. This time he knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer. “Well, it’s because he was my friend, and-” “He was your friend.” Sophie repeated. “People change over time, Simon. They can grow in different ways, grow in different directions and grow apart. You have tons of other friends to play with. Why can’t you play with them instead?” “W-well I-” “Why can’t you be happy with what you have?” She asked mercilessly. “B-because-” “Why do you want to be with Logan so much?” “I-” “Why?” “Because I love him!” Samson burst out. “There, you happy? I said it! I love Logan! I loved him the first time I saw him last year, and maybe I loved him all this time. I want to be with Logan! I want to us to be together! I…I…” Samson placed his hand on his face to hide his tears as the full weight of his own words sank in. He loved Logan. He had been afraid to admit it before, but he loved him. Howard had moved off towards Eve with his face somewhat red. Sophie nodded slightly and seemed satisfied with Samson’s answer. “Alright Simon, but before I tell you anything I need you to do something for me.” “Anything.” Samson said, feeling lighter then he had ever felt before. It was as if finally admitting his feelings had finally lifted a burden he hadn’t known he had been carrying for a long time. “I want you to draw my portrait.” Sophie told him. It wasn’t a request. Samson blinked at her. “Why do you want a portrait?” “You can draw, can’t you?” She asked calmly. Samson frowned, but decided not to argue. Quietly he exited the waiting room, asked for a pad and pencil from the nurse at the desk and then returned to the room again. There he found Sophie seated in a chair against the wall, her poise rather artistic in its own right. “You will draw a portrait.” Sophie said as Samson sat down in the chair in front of her. “It shall be only from my shoulder and above. You will complete it within three minutes. Your style and method is completely up to you.” Samson sent a questioning glance over to Howard. “Go with it.” Howard nodded as he placed his hand around Eve’s shoulder, who was watching them silently. Samson gave Howard a brief nod, and then proceeded to draw. His hand seemed to fly all over the paper with a mind of its own. Making many frequent glances at his model, Samson quickly shaped her face on the blank sheet. It was hard to imagine that last week he was unable to draw an apple, much less a person. At exactly three minutes after he had started, he was done. Sophie’s face was now etched onto the page, looking as beautiful as she did in real life. Wordlessly, Samson handed the pad to her for inspection, which she gracefully accepted. She took one quick glance at the portrait and nodded. “It’s very well done.” She commented as she opened her purse. “You have a fine talent to draw.” Samson felt his ears turn pink from her words. He was used to praises from other people, but Sophie wasn’t like anyone else he knew. “Logan is much better at drawing then I am.” Sophie gave a small, short laugh as she pulled out a small folded piece of paper. “What’s so funny?” Samson frowned. “It’s a little bit of irony dear.” She told him. “Because you see…” Slowly she unfolded the piece of paper in her hand and then handed both it and the picture back to Samson. “…you can say you are as good as Logan was.” When he looked down at the paper, his eyes grew wide. On the piece of paper was another portrait of Sophie, equally beautiful to his own sketch. In fact, they were identical. Every stroke, every smudge of shading, every last bit to the tiniest detail was the same. When Samson peered closer, he saw that the other picture even had the same erasure marks as his own. “H-how is this possible?” Samson asked, staring down at the sheets of paper. “Who drew this?” “Logan did.” Sophie told him. “He drew it for me last year for my birthday.” Samson looked down at the picture, not sure if he believed it. Logan drew this? But then, how come he had just drawn a picture exactly identical to something done a year ago? It was impossible, and yet here it was in his lap. There was no way Sophie could have duplicated Samson’s drawing, he had just finished just mere seconds ago! Now that he thought about it, the fact that he was suddenly able to draw well was very suspect. He had never been able to draw anything well before, but all of a sudden he became a regular Picasso. It was if somehow, as impossible it may seem, Logan’s talent had transferred over to him. “I think he’s starting to figure it out.” Howard noted as he watched Samson’s face. “H-how…why…what…” Samson tried to ask a question, but found himself unable to string together the right words. “You forgot when, where and who.” Howard chuckled. Samson shot him a look, and then faced Sophie. “Alright, start explaining. How come I can draw exactly like Logan? Just what is going on here? Who are you people and how do you know this? Someone answer me!” “Whoa there, calm down big guy.” Howard got up from his seat. “Let’s ask one question at a time, alright?” Samson closed his eyes and resisted the urge to pick Howard up by the shirt and throw him across the room. “Please…tell me the truth. I think I deserve to hear it.” Sophie breathed deeply. “The truth of the matter is-” -Loganos, one who has been cursed by fate. That stray thought came again, but this time it was accompanied by something entirely different. Abruptly he saw Mr. Warden standing in front of him, with one arm extended and in the other a red knife, the same knife Logan had been cutting himself with. Also in the vision was two frail arms that appeared to be coming from Samson, but he immediately recognized them as Logan’s from the scars. Together we break our ties with one another… Samson watched as Mr. Warden slowly lowered towards Logan’s frail arm. …and sever the bond between us. At the end of the ritual, Mr. Warden slashed Logan’s arm. “HRAGGH!” Samson roared with an animalistic fury. Before he even knew it had already ran out of the waiting room and was sprinting down the hallway where he instinctively knew Logan was. When he reached door number twelve Samson hit it so hard that it was knocked off of its hinges. Inside he immediately saw Mr. Warden standing next to Logan’s bed before his eyes landed on the new bright red gash on Logan’s right arm. “You bastard!” Samson rushed forward and grabbed Mr. Warden, lifting him off of his feet. “You sick mother-fucking BASTARD!” Samson smashed Mr. Warden through the window and held him suspended over a hundred feet above the pavement below. “Harold!” Mrs. Warden screamed, unable to move from her spot. Riley came forward and grabbed Samson’s arm “Let him go!” he said as he tried to pull them in, but even he couldn’t budge Samson in his towering fury. Samson could feel the strength coursing through him. He felt that he could tear the entire hospital down brick by brick if he wanted to. “How could you?” Samson snarled at Mr. Warden, he dangled helplessly at his mercy. “How could you cut up your son? Your son!” Mr. Warden looked nervously towards the ground far below. It was a rather long drop, and no doubt he would make a rather big splat on the ground “Simon I-” “Don’t even talk to me you skum!” “Put him down.” Samson felt a shock rippled pass through him as he heard Logan’s cool, calm voice. He had never heard Logan speak like that before, without any anger or bitterness. “B-but he-” “I know what it looks like.” Logan continued to speak in the calm tone, and it took everything Samson had to prevent himself from shivering. “It’s all just a big misunderstanding. Bring him back in, and we’ll explain everything.” Samson kept his eyes on Mr. Warden, still determined even as his last bit of anger was draining away. “But…he hurt you.” There was a silent pause between all of them. Mrs. Warden was frozen in her place, Mr. Warden was dangling outside. Even Riley wasn’t making any noises. “Please.” Samson sucked in his breath as the shock almost caused him to completely let go of Mr. Warden, but quickly caught the grown man again. Logan said please? But…Logan never spoke politely with him. Logan never sounded so sincere with him before, ever. “Please, put him down,” Logan pleaded once more. “Please…don’t hurt my dad, I beg you. Please.” Hearing Logan’s words made Samson instantly ashamed for what he was doing. Slowly, he pulled Mr. Warden back into the room and set him down. As soon as Mr. Warden’s feet touched the floor his knees gave way, but Riley quickly caught his father. It was only then that Samson looked at Logan for the first time since entering the room. There was no hate on Logan’s face, nor was there any anger or bitterness. Instead, he had a face of relief and…and gratitude. A face Samson would never thought he would see on Logan. That image of Logan half sitting and half lying down in an immaculate white hospital gown, looking straight into Samson’s eyes with a kind and gentle face made Logan appear like some sort of angel. Somehow, he looked both vulnerable and holy at the same time. If anything, that image made Samson awestruck. “Thank you.” Logan said, closing his eyes. Samson feared that something was wrong with him, but Samson then saw that Logan had merely fallen asleep. That was too close. Logan’s voice once again came into his head, and Samson abruptly realized he was actually hearing Logan’s thoughts. Immediately Samson felt himself grow weak. Logan…Logan thanked him. Logan had said please…and thanked him. Samson could feel his mind reeling from all of the completely unexpected things he was seeing and hearing. It was then that Sophie entered the room. She took one look at the harried looking Mr. Warden, the broken window, the fresh cut on Logan’s arm and a confused looking Samson and immediately figured out what had taken place. “I’m guessing you somehow managed to find out what was going on in this room?” She turned to Samson. Still confused and dazed, Samson simply nodded. Sophie turned to Mr. and Mrs. Warden. “Perhaps we should move this somewhere else and allow Logan to get some rest. He’s been through a terrible ordeal, after all.” “I’m not gonna-” Riley began to say, but a stern glance from Sophie cut him off. Sophie moved her gaze from Riley to Mr. Warden, who was still leaning against his son. “Mr. Warden, perhaps you should stay here and take care of Logan, just in case he needs any more attention. “But…!” Samson snapped his head towards Logan, who was lying silently in his bed with his eyes closed. Sophie shook her head. “Don’t worry, he’s in good hands. Why would Mr. Warden save his son’s life only to hurt him minutes after?” Samson still didn’t feel any better. It wasn’t until Sophie walked around and took Samson by the arm did he start moving out of the room. Samson made one look back towards Samson before he willingly went with Sophie and Mrs. Warden back to the waiting room. “Mommy!” Eve jumped from her chair and rushed to her mother. Behind her Howard stood up from his seat and walked over to them. “Hey sweetie.” Julia said, running her hand through her daughter’s red hair. “Are you tired?” Eve shook her head. “Can I see Logan now?” She asked hopefully. Mrs. Warden hesitated for a moment but Sophie smiled. “Of course you can.” Sophie told her. “He’s in room number twelve, right down the hall.” Without even saying goodbye Eve brushed past all of them and ran out the door. The moment the little girl left the room Sophie looked back towards Samson, her face completely serious. “Alright, there’s no easy way to break it to you so I’m just going to go out and say it.” Sophie told him. “Logan, The Wardens, Howard and I are not human.” The room fell completely silent after she spoke. “Excuse me, what did you say?” Samson asked. He couldn’t have heard her correctly. “We are not human.” She repeated as clear as daylight. “We are a part of a secret race known as the Kin Lam. We have look exactly like regular homo sapiens, but we have highly advance physical and mental capabilities that overshadow what you call ‘normal.’ However due to past events, we have chosen to make our existence unknown for various reasons.” “Wait wait wait.” Samson interrupted her. “You’re telling me that you all are some kind of…of super humans or something with supernatural powers and everything?” “Kinda, yea.” Howard agreed. Samson grabbed a chair and smashed it into the wall, breaking it into pieces. “Stop shitting me already!” He yelled at them. “Simon calm down.” Mrs. Warden backed off a bit from Samson’s display of anger, but not by much. “I know how you’re feeling and-” “You have no idea how I’m feeling!” Samson snapped at her. “You’re feeling lost and confused.” Samson paused. “You feel conflicted about what to do. You long for something, but is afraid to try to go for it in fear of being hurt.” Mrs. Warden continued to talk and look right into Samson’s face while she spoke. “Right now you are searching for the answers for your questions, but you cannot decide what is really real or fantasy from what you’ve seen tonight, and you have feelings of mistrust concerning us since you believed that we intentionally want to harm Logan.” Samson stared at her. “H-how do you know that?” “It’s her power. We call it Vibe Reading.” Sophie explained. “She can feel other people’s emotions around her.” Samson looked at them skeptically. “Oh I get it now. You get the shrink to do her magic on me and make me a believer. It’ll take a lot more then that to convince me then a few tricks like that.” “Alright then, it looks like we’ll have to go for the extreme then.” Sophie said as she turned towards Howard. “You’re up Howard, and don’t go easy. I don’t want to spend the entire night trying to convince him.” “Alright Sophie.” Howard nodded, and then faced Samson. “Oh, and sorries in advance, bud.” When Howard’s eyes looked directly into his, Samson felt a chill run down his spine. “Samson, what’s one of your most embarrassing memories?” “I was about five years old.” Samson replied automatically. “I went to the bathroom to take a piss, but while I stood in front of the toilet doing my thing with my pants down, I suddenly had to take a dump as well. Since I was already going, I couldn’t stop myself so I ended up leaving a small mess on the bathroom floor.” The moment Samson finished telling his story his face turned beet red. Why did he just say that? He had kept that memory buried where he would never think about it again, and yet all of a sudden he felt like saying it out loud. “What’s another embarrassing moment you have?” Howard asked. Once again Samson felt the compulsion to share. “One time during my game in junior football league, a kid tackled me from behind to try to stop me, but as he fell he grabbed my pants and pulled them down and I tripped, losing the ball.” Samson flinched back. Why was he telling Howard this? It was if whenever Howard asked him something, he just had to answer. “What is another one of your embarrassing moments?” Howard asked further. “When I was nine I drank six cans of soda before I went to sleep and wet my bed.” “And what’s another memory?” “I threw up on someone’s shoe after a roller coaster ride when I was six.” “I wet my pants in the toy store when I was four.” “When I was five I zipped up my pants too quickly and I-” “I think that’s enough.” Sophie interrupted. By then Samson was sweating up a storm and his face was probably permanently a shade of pink from the way he was feeling. There was nothing more then he wanted to do then to crawl under something and hope his embarrassment would go away. “Wuh…what was that? How come I said all of those things?” Howard glanced away and scratched his head. “It’s because of my power. When I turn it on, any question I ask someone will be answered honestly whether they want to or not.” Samson seemed to be taken aback by that. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think of a way to disprove Howard. He had been completely unable to resist the questioning, and there was no logical explanation to why he couldn’t resist. Sophie then stepped up to Samson. “Samson, I’m sure you noticed some strange things happening to you from time to time, correct? Things you can’t explain? For example, you noticed you are much stronger then other people, stronger then humanly possible. Or how about knowing where Logan was exactly? Or even just now, when you somehow knew what was going on in Logan’s hospital room, even though you were here with me?” Samson paused for a moment. He did always wonder about those burst of uncontrollable strength he had whenever he was angry or frustrated. And the fact that he knew where Logan was and saw through Logan’s eyes and heard his voice in his head was strange enough. The more he thought about it, the more realistic their explanation became until finally he began to believe them. “I…I can hear Logan’s thoughts in my head.” He finally admitted. “It started about an hour after I came to the hospital, and a few minutes back I actually saw through Logan’s eyes.” Howard rubbed his chin. “I think I heard of that power. It lets you hear what the person you’re connected to is thinking, as well as see what they’re seeing. You won’t be able to make a connection with anyone else, so you’ll only be able to see and hear Logan’s thoughts.” “Does this mean I’m a Kin Lam as well?” Samson questioned. Mrs. Warden shook her head. “No, you are human. However, due to certain…events, you are gaining the powers and physical characteristics of one.” Samson frowned. “How am I becoming like a Kin Lam? Why can I draw a picture exactly like Logan? What’s happening to Logan anyway? Is he sick or something?” Sophie and Mrs. Warden exchanged worried glances. “You should sit down, Samson.” Sophie told Samson. “What we are about to tell you…isn’t exactly easy.” Samson obediently sat down in a chair and waited. Mrs. Warden took a deep breath. “On a Kin Lam’s eight birthday…” * * * Samson had his face buried in his hands. His large body was shaking visibly in his seat even long after he had finished hearing the story. It took him awhile before he could find the strength to speak again. “S-so the reason why Logan is like that…is because of me?” “You have to understand it was an accident.” Sophie tried to consolidate him, but Samson didn’t listen. “It’s my fault…It’s my entire fault.” Samson shook violently from the weight of his words. His muscles, his intelligence and all of his skill and talents had been taken from Logan. Samson had been proud to be who he was before, as a football star, as a model student and the most popular guy in school. And now he had just learned that none of it was supposed to be his. He had stolen it all from Logan. “And…and are you sure there’s no way I can’t undo this…this Fel Neros, as you call it?” Mrs. Warden shook her heard sadly. “No. Once the Fel Neros has been established, it’ll never be broken.” Samson closed his eyes as he tried to take it all in. He remembered what he said to Logan in the bathroom that same morning and suddenly it hit him. This was why Logan hated him. Every time Samson got near him, Logan probably saw what he could have been. Samson was everything Logan had lost, and he didn’t even think twice about showing it off all the time. It was probably hell for Logan to watch him act like a cocky bastard all the time…and why Logan had said the things he said. “You’ve already taking everything away from me!” So that was what he meant when he said that. Samson thought. Slowly everything began to make sense. Every little question was answered, every mystery unveiled…and it was absolutely horrifying. Right then the door opened and Riley stepped in. He took one look towards Samson and froze. He stared long and hard at the Samson, who was still shaking in his chair. Then, he went over to Sophie, his face devoid of emotion. “What did you tell him?” He asked in a voice so low it was almost a whisper. “Everything.” Sophie said. And that was when Riley lost it. His face immediately broke out into anger from a single word. “Everything? Everything!? You told that damn human everything!?” “He was already starting to develop powers, Riley.” Sophie kept her cool. “The council was bound to tell him sooner or later to explain the importance of secrecy.” “He’s a human!” Riley yelled, his face growing red. “He shouldn’t even go near Logan!” Samson snapped his head up when Riley said that. He was about to reply but Howard beat him to it. “Why should you care who Logan hangs out with?” Howard asked. “You don’t treat him like your brother.” “Because that thing isn’t my brother!” Riley yelled. “THAT is what my brother should look like!” Riley jabbed his finger towards Samson. “My little brother isn’t some wimp. He isn’t some high school drop out. He should be as big as him. He should be the one with all the football trophies! He should be the one that everyone loves! I should be going to his every game and cheering him on, praise him after every award ceremony, work out with him at the gym. But because of him, that’s all gone. He stole my brother away from me!” After Riley was done, he suddenly began to swear. “Dammit Howard, why did you do that to me!?” Howard backed off a bit, but he didn’t look afraid at all. Samson was shocked by Riley’s words. He had figured that Riley hated Logan, but it was just the opposite. “I…I’m sorry Riley. I…I never meant to hurt him, honest. I…I care about Logan very much.” “Ha!” Riley laughed. “You care about Logan? You don’t care about him at all, you filthy human!” Samson felt his anger begin to build. “I DO care about Logan. In fact I-” “What, you love him?” Riley asked in a haughty manner. Samson clenched his fists. “Yes, I do.” Riley snorted. “You don’t love him.” “Yes, I do.” Samson began shaking again, only with anger this time. Riley shook his head. “No, you don’t love him. You only think you do.” Samson jumped out of his chair and grabbed Riley, slamming him against the wall. “Where do you get off saying that I don’t know when I’m in love?” Although Samson was now bigger and stronger then him, Riley only glared back. “You feel attracted to Logan, and yet you don’t know why. You long to touch him, kiss him, even fuck him all the time. Even though you are somewhat attracted to other people, you can’t help but lust for Logan all the time.” Samson stiffened up when he heard Riley say that. “Tell me, did you know that there is a special kind of magic between two Arour Dians?” Riley asked him. “What kind of magic are you talking about?” Samson frowned. “It makes the two Arour Dians sexually attracted towards one another.” Riley told him. “It creates fake emotions between two people. They may think they’re in love, but it’s all a trick.” Upon hearing that, Samson stiffened up even more. His feelings for Logan…could be fake? Desperately, Samson shook his head. “No, that’s not it. I…I really do love him.” “What is it about Logan that appeals to you the most?” Riley continued. “His skinny ass body? His ugly face? Or how about his tiny dick?” “I…I love him.” Samson repeated again, only this time he sounded a whole lot unsure. “If you love him so much, then why are you killing him?” Samson suddenly let go of Riley. “Wh…what did you just say?” “Oh, you guys didn’t tell him?” Riley looked over towards the others. “Where did you think all of those muscles are coming from, huh?” “F-from Logan.” Samson said numbly. “Good, you have some brain left in that thick skull of yours.” Riley mocked him. “Now, I think you’ve seen Logan. You have to admit he’s a tiny skinny bastard. So, even though he doesn’t have anything left, what exactly do you think you’re draining now?” Samson stared at him as he felt as if his insides were splashed with ice cold water and the color in his face drain. “N..no….” “Oh yes.” Riley nodded. “You are literally sucking the life out of Logan. Because of you, he’s going to die before he even turns twenty one. Even sooner now, since you can’t get your greedy mitts off of him!” “Y-you’re lying!” Samson shook his head. He turned towards Sophie. “Please, tell me he’s lying!” To his horror, Sophie averted her eyes away. When he looked towards Howard and Mrs. Warden, they both returned looks of sorrow. “No…no it can’t be…” Samson backed away, shaking his head. “You’re killing Logan, Samson.” Riley said coldly. “Because of you, he’s going to die in less then two years.” As he stood there, Samson suddenly felt sicker then he ever had before. Before he knew it he was rushing out of the waiting room and running down the hall to the restroom. There, he burst in and went straight to the toilet to throw up the contents of his stomach into the bowl. He stood there, bent over and heaving as he kept on throwing up. After a few hurls he had nothing left to vomit, but the horrible feeling still stayed with him. Logan’s abilities were being transferred over to Samson. He was draining Logan. Logan was losing his life. Logan was dying. He was killing Logan. He’s a murderer. A few moments later someone opened the door and walked in. “Samson, you in here?” Howard’s voice asked. Samson flinched for a moment before he stood up straight. “Y-yeah.” His stomach was completely empty now, so he didn’t have to worry about suddenly throwing up again. Howard went up to Samson with a concerned look on his face. “You want to talk?” “Is…is it true he’s dying?” It took everything Samson had to prevent himself from breaking down then and there. “Yes.” Howard told him. “Yes, it is. From what Mr. Warden said, Logan has only about two years left to live now.” “Isn’t there anything that can stop it?” Samson looked at Howard desperately. “I mean, isn’t there someone with the power to save him or something?” Howard shook his head. “No, there’s nothing. The bond can never be broken, ever.” Samson closed his eyes to stop himself from crying. “I…I don’t want his to die.” “I know, dude, I know.” Howard stepped up and hugged the big guy as best as he could. Samson stood there as he felt Howard try to comfort him, but to no avail. Finally, he swallowed the last bit of courage he had left to ask one more question. “Howard, do you think I can see Logan one last time?” * * * Slowly he opened the newly repaired door and peaked inside. Carefully he pushed it opened and went inside, quietly closing the door behind him. Samson then very slowly walked over to Logan’s beside. Without warning Logan opened his eyes and turned his head towards Samson. “Hey there.” No anger. No bitterness. Just a simple greeting. “Hey.” Samson replied, though he knew it was a stupid greeting. He fumbled around trying to think of something to say. “Er…Sophie told me everything. About the Kin Lam. And you too.” “I know, she told me a few moments ago.” Logan replied. Samson shut his eyes tightly and clenched his fists. “I…I’m so sorry about everything I’ve done.” Samson blurted out. “I’ve been a stupid, selfish jerk, and I understand why you hate me now.” “I don’t hate you.” Samson jerked his head up and stared at Logan. “Wh-what? B-but you-” Logan shook his head. “I…I never hated you. Not once.” “But this morning you…” “I was angry, yes, but not at you.” Logan told him rather calmly. “Well, not at you directly. It’s just that I had just lost my talent to draw, and you came at me at the wrong time so I snapped. I was in a really bad mood and I took it all out on you. I’m sorry.” Samson didn’t know what to say about that. Logan…didn’t hate him? It didn’t make sense, Logan should hate him! Logan had hated him since freshman year. In fact, Logan should have hated him since he was eight years old! “But…what about before that?” Samson asked. “All those other times when you…you told me to stay away and everything? Are you telling me you weren’t angry at me?” “Not really. Well, maybe a few times.” Logan admitted. “But most of the time it was because I was frustrated with your stubbornness. I mean, how many times do I have to say ‘stay away’ before it sinks into that thick head of yours?” He gave a small chuckle. A small, simple laugh that although plain, sounded extremely sexy to Samson. Was this part of that attraction magic too? All of Logan’s light humor and calm attitude threw Samson off completely. For two years he had seen Logan as this mean and bitter person, but now Logan was acting like a regular guy. “All this time, you were just acting mean?” “I’m not really proud of it.” Logan said, looking away. “But I just can’t let anyone get close to me. If I do, there’s a chance they’ll be cursed too, and no one deserves to have the same fate as I do.” Even though there’s nothing more then I want then to have a few friends. Logan thought. “You do have friends!” Samson protested. “You have Sophie, and Howard and…and me.” “You read my mind.” Logan accused. Samson looked away, a bit embarrassed by his intrusion. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. It just happens.” Giving a small sigh, Logan leaned his head back. “Listen Samson…the reason why I’ve been so mean to you these past two years is because I wanted you to hate me.” “Me hate you?” Samson exclaimed. There was a surprise. If anything, it should have been the other way around. “That way it’ll be easier on you.” Logan explained. “Easier for you to except it when I die.” Samson shuddered violently from Logan’s calm acceptance of his death. “Why do you think I’d want that? There’s nothing more then I want then to be with you, Logan. I…I love you.” “Do you?” Again, Samson sucked in his breath. “I…I do. I love you” To his complete surprise, Logan shook his head. “You say the words, but the feeling isn’t there. You may think you’re in love, but love is something that you know for sure. It isn’t about lust or sexual attraction, it goes deeper then that. Trust me; I know the difference between the false love and real love. That’s why I want you to find someone else and move on. Now that you know what we have between us is magically induced, you’ll be able to love someone else, and it’ll be real this time. After I’m gone, our bond will be broken and the magic will fade away. You’ll discover that you didn’t really love me after all, and then you’ll move on.” Samson felt as if his heart was being crushed slowly. “No, I can’t…I…I care too much about you, Logan.” He paused, and then a sudden thought came to him. “Logan…do you love me?” Yes. Logan’s thought flashed. All of a sudden Samson was filled with a warm light and hope. Logan loved him! “That’s cheating.” Logan said sternly. “You…you love me!” Samson said out loud. “You love me! If you love me, how can you still say my love for you isn’t real?” Logan however looked straight into Samson’s face. “It’s because I know the difference between real love and the fake love. At first, when I saw you again I felt attracted to you. But as I got to know you better, I gradually began to fall for you. I know what love really is, and I know it when I see it. You…you don’t really love me…at least, not yet.” “The let me prove it to you!” Samson protested. “Give me a chance, and I’ll show you that I really do love you!” “Only to have you lose me in two years?” Samson’s voice died in his throat. He tried to speak, but was unable to. “Are you willing to be with me, even though it’ll only cause you pain in the end?” Logan asked. His face had turned firm and serious, and seemed to be looking directly into Samson’s soul. “Are you willing to find out that you could truly be in love with me, only for me to die in two years? Are you willing to withstand that pain and suffering that’ll come with losing a loved one? Even after knowing all of that, are you still willing to be with me?” Samson looked desperately at Logan’s face. Logan wasn’t at all handsome. His face was rather ugly, with a bad case of acne, and his red hair looked sickly and messy. Yet even so, there was a kind of quality about it that sent his senses aflame. But underneath all of that, Samson could sense a kind of gently kindness that he had never seen or felt before. “Tell me, do you want to be with me?” Samson asked. Yes, I do. Logan’s voice echoed in his head. “But what do you want, Simon?” Logan asked out loud. Simon took a deep. “I…I want us to start all over. As friends. Maybe after time it’ll grow into something else, but for now, I want it to be like it used to. I want to know more about you. I want to prove to you that I really do care about you. I…I want to be your friend, Logan.” Logan smiled. “I’d like that too.” __________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage Last edited by redkage; August 11th, 2007 at 11:08 AM.     |
| August 11th, 2007, 09:09 AM | |||
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| A Touching Fact 10 This chapter marks the end of two people's suffering, but the beginning of an end. Tonight’s Fact: The Name Game Final Riley: Riley has a key role as this story’s antagonist. He butts heads with Simon, and mistreats Logan. When compared to Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, his character can be compared to Chillingsworth, who is a cruel man seeking revenge against the people who had wronged him, mainly Dimmesdale and Hester. His name was composed due to its sound similarity to the word “rival” (Even though it isn’t actually that close. I was a bit sleep deprived when I came up with his name.) In the story we first see him as a kind of jerk who mistreats Logan and hates Simon, but in this chapter you can see the reason for his hate goes much deeper then that. Eve: Although she is little, she had a fairly large influence on the story. Eve’s name was taken from, of course, eve (as in evening). The evening is a time where the day turns into night, where light gives way to the dark and the day comes to a close. However, even though the day is ending, the evening is the time when the day is most beautiful, as seen with the multicolor sky and the sight of the setting sun. Also, Eve can be directly compared with the character Pearl from The Scarlet Letter, both little girls look up to the so called sinner and admires them for their qualities, even though both victims don’t think too much of themselves. They both even have a fascination for the bright red symbol on their heroes chest, even though they don’t know the true meaning behind them. __________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage |
| August 11th, 2007, 10:37 AM | |||
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| My god, this story really has come a long way. Heck, i nearly cried! My compliments to the greatest author EVER! |
| August 11th, 2007, 11:16 AM | |||
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| Well, dude you've made it! I've gone through a range of emotions reading this chapter. Sadness, anger, but most of all I felt anxious. You've certainly created an evironment where we can never settle down, everything is just about to collapse. First it was the tension between Logan and Samson, then it was the drama of the main character losing his abbilities, and now we are seeing him die because of an act of altruism? Damn, Red you can be cruel.  And now comes the hardest part, we know the ending is just around the corner but are we bold enough to face it? i know I have butterflies in my stomach, just imagining what could be the possible developments for the ending of this story. Congratulations, on a muscle growth forum, you've managed to write a muscle growth (or should i say an unintentional muscle tehft) story but keeping muscle growth in a second level, and no one cares about that, because you've used it as another element of your storytelling instead of making it the only attraction. I think none of us can legimately appeal for a happy ending, I know this is what common sense would ask, but you're a writer and you're building your story, we can't force you to come up with a cute ending, this story deserves it own and proper ending, the one you feel that is right. Tough task, bro, but I am sure you're up to it. See you later, Congratulations __________________ There's no such thing as TOO BIG! |
| August 11th, 2007, 12:21 PM | |||
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| Thanks again dude. |
| August 11th, 2007, 12:59 PM | |||
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   You're... gonna... kill... him... ... I can't beliebe it And I still hope everything turns out well in the end. I DO. And I can't beliebe a fiction story is making me feel like this... It's just fiction for god's sake!!! This is fiction, you know? Maybe in real life is not what it usually happen, but I like to beliebe that love wins in the end.  oH! And good (sad) chapter, dude! Your writing skills are amazing. __________________ The Internet is for PORN! -Trekkie- http://chocomus.deviantart.com/ http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/user/chocomus/ |
| August 11th, 2007, 02:30 PM | |||
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| =) Another great chapter. Thanks! |
| August 11th, 2007, 03:40 PM | |||
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| Finally . . . Simon knows. So I have to confess that I just finished Harry Potter last week, and I could be a little biased by that (also, I was never much a fan of the Scarlett Letter in high school), but something in my head just screams, "Nooo!! Save Logan!" It seems inevitable that Logan must die, but so unfair. He's been deprived of so much and yet been so strong. I guess even in fiction they're aren't always happy endings. I think Redkage and Rowan and Luvyalots (still sad about JP as well) should write a continuous story together . . . or maybe TV drama . . . the three of them are awfully talented. Their stories leave me verklempt. Well, that's my two cents. Save Logan! (Sorry. just had too do it). |
| August 11th, 2007, 04:59 PM | |||
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| I really like this idea of real love and fake love you've built up. I'm quite interested to see if it will play a part in possibly saving Logan, however if you do indeed intend to let him die in two years then I'm certain you'll give him a warm, wonderful ending. I personally hate Riley because I could never blame someone for something they didn't understand. I really detest his attitude in feeling that because Samson is human he's somehow second rate and not deserving to know anything, but can still be blamed when he does something wrong all the same. I know he's just a character you built for that purpose in the story but in real life people like that annoy me to no end. If it means anything I wanted to jump in and hit Riley into the wall and make him see that fake love or not, Samson does at least care for Logan if only just as a friend and would never have knowingly afflicted him in this way. To see the damage somehow reversed or at least coped with would be a wonderful turn for the story. So far the closer Samson got he worse Logan became, it would be nice to see something of the opposite happing somehow. This isn't just a muscle story, it's art. |
| August 11th, 2007, 08:35 PM | |||
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| I agree with muscl4life's comment: that although this might be considered a muscle theft story, it's such a sub-plot that it barely registers. Learning why Riley dislikes/hates Simon--because Simon stole his brother away from him--was good. But also, is there a touch of xenophobic in Riley against humans in general? The truth will set you free, as the saying goes. Now that Simon knows, what will he do with it? We'll have to wait for the next chapter. Great work. Please keep writing. |
| August 11th, 2007, 10:17 PM | |||
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| Fantastic chapter of a great series. I love what you've done with the characters; very unexpected. Can't wait to see how yo'll wrap it up. Well done, my friend. |
| August 12th, 2007, 01:32 AM | |||
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| simple but true... Gone Gone away, Back I come, Here I am, Here to stay. |
| August 12th, 2007, 01:34 AM | |||
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| ... i know theres gonna be another twist... man i know foreshadowing to the max lol. i just love books and i casually read them every so often. i lovfe the story and will be with you to the end. |
| August 12th, 2007, 09:37 AM | ||||||||||
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| Wow, I'm really amazed at how many people have been reading this series so far. It's been a long while since i started writing this, so the number of views really impressed me. I hope that the last few chapters will still excite you and draw your attention. Until then, happy reading~! Quote:
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__________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage |
| August 12th, 2007, 11:26 AM | |||
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| Hey man, great story. I've really enjoyed every bit of it so far. But please mind your spelling and grammar too, 'cos it sometimes confuses me: accept vs except, than vs then, using no past participle when you should... I bet it's just because your spillng your excellent story onto the paper and are enthusiastic about it (and it's forgivable  ), but still. |
| August 12th, 2007, 01:04 PM | |||
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__________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage |
| August 12th, 2007, 05:16 PM | |||
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__________________ Our three great gifts are life, the ability to laugh and to love. The greatest is life, but it is worth nothing without the next two. |
| August 12th, 2007, 05:20 PM | |||
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__________________ Our three great gifts are life, the ability to laugh and to love. The greatest is life, but it is worth nothing without the next two. |
| August 12th, 2007, 08:44 PM | |||
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| Scarlet Letter Beautifully written! This whole series takes me to a not so far away place that could be just next door. I love it! Now, the big (rhetorical) question on my mind is will this story stay true to the Scarlet Letter and end in an ambiguity? I think I can wait to find out! |
| August 12th, 2007, 09:21 PM | |||
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| [COLOR=dimgray]Folks,[/COLOR] [COLOR=dimgray]Ok, I'm not trying to flame anyone here, but I can't restrain my commentary any longer on this story. Let me first say that so far, I've read all 10 chapters that Red had so diligently put out. That being said, I'm ---[/COLOR] [COLOR=dimgray]a) bored by the story and the wholly unnecessary pains Logan has been put through and the annoyances of Simon's inadequacies we've had to endure as readers.[/COLOR] [COLOR=dimgray]b) totally not following how anyone can draw parallels to Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter in any way.[/COLOR] [COLOR=dimgray]If the connection red is trying to make is through the emotion of "love" I'd say pretty much any romance story would qualify as a parallel story. It takes more, I think, to create a literary homage than stringing together a few scenes with a vaguely common theme. Also, I'm just not following Simon's love for Logan, who really won't be able to return it after what he's been through. The whole concept of fake love versus real love doesn't really work here. How would Logan know the difference being that he's literally spent no time with Simon? It's really hampering my ability to believe in the story, to be honest.[/COLOR] [COLOR=dimgray]The only obvious parallel is Logan's mark which, admittedly, does pay some respect to Hawthorne's work. Let's again be honest in saying, however, that it's not that significant if it's only one point in the story. If that's the only element, it's not a parallel. It's not homage. It's not related whatsoever. Harsh, I know, but that's a dose of realism that I think we all need to reflect on for a bit. [/COLOR] [COLOR=dimgray]I guess I'm just not seeing how everyone seems to be drawing these complex parallels to a story it doesn't seem like anyone has actually read. Paying respect to great literary work is a very difficult challenge, and I'm not sure Red's quite succeeded in this story in doing so. I'm not saying Red's work isn't good. He certainly has his fans and that's great. I commend him for putting out a work for us to read. But, if I'm missing some obvious connection, explain it to me, please.[/COLOR] [COLOR=dimgray]--JSmith[/COLOR] |
| August 12th, 2007, 09:55 PM | |||
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| well... "a master of the language you are not."- Funboy haha yeah im not hot on the whole grammar thing either but... it really doesn't matter because it's his story he wrote and you get what he's saying. Just like my poems there are mistakes in the grammar and spelling. |
| August 12th, 2007, 10:10 PM | |||
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| I would like to take the time to reply to jsmith's comment, and also tell others not to flame him or anything as well. He is open to opinions as anyone else is, and his insight is rather refreshing. a) Personally I'm also somewhat tired of the amount of pain Logan is enduring and Samson's immaturaty. You can only do so much to a guy, after all. The next few chapters should be more of a postive side to this story, so hopefully it'll catch your attention then. b) If you wish to be more specific about it, I guess I can say that I gained ideas from plots, characters and events from The Scarlet Letter more then anything. I was simply pointing out several items that I had been inspired by in the book and is now giving credit to them. I'm not saying that there are exact parallels, but I'm just saying that there are some similarities that might be taken into consideration and reflection. Kinda like food for thought, if you will. Anyways, I'm glad you shared your views with me jsmith. It'll sure be helpful when I write the last few chapters of Touched. Thanks! -Red __________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage |
| August 13th, 2007, 12:08 AM | |||
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My personal note would be that, when you write everything at the same emotional level, characters begin feeling hard and flat. As someone who is working on fantasy, I also have to make up a lot of phrases and alien-sounding proper nouns. They feel jarring in this medium. Then again, this isn't really a place to get critiques on writing skills, or to grow as a writer; that's one of the reasons I've been so reticent to post of late. -X- |
| August 13th, 2007, 06:55 AM | |||
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| I would like to take the time to reply to jsmith's comment, and also tell others not to flame him or anything as well. He is open to opinions as anyone else is, and his insight is rather refreshing. Redkage in response to JSmith's comments. ================================================== ======== [COLOR="Navy"]This is the utmost true fact about this forum. Nobel Prize winner Elie Wiesel once said for an audience in which I had the honor to be "The opposite of love is not hate but indifference..." and I just couldn't agree more with that statement. After all, a "poorly written" story would never had the power to make someone who is clearly not interested to be "dragged" for 10 long chapters, even if that someone just spent his precious time reading trhe story to flame detractive comments. The latest comments made about Redkage's Touched story can only restate the quality of his writing skills. If his story hadn't been so captivating, so polemical to the point that it stirred different emotions on each reader, no one would never care for making such nonsense or useless comments. No one needs to have read the original story which Redkage decided to pay his tribute to be able to recognize when a good story is written. Besides, when someone decides to write a story, his personal reasons or motivations are NOT to be discussed by the audience. How can we place ourselves as judges of the merit of a hommage? isn't the purpose of this act from personal forum? Can we really feel entitled to comment on the motivation someone had to create a story? I sincerely don't believe so, and I can only imagine that whatever elements on the Scarlett Letter story that sparked the idea for Touched inside redkage's mind it doesn't mean he had to create an exact duplicate of that story in order to pay a "legitimate tribute" for it. Redkage had honestly told us he had borrowed some circumstances of this book in order to create Touched. Does it mean we have now to level up this story because of this fact? Come to think of it, I also can't be the judge of whatever reasons motivated someone to post such hatred, senseless and most of all useless comments. if you read a story for ten long chapters and absolutely hated it, then in the wise words of Elie Wiesel you are not on the opposite side of love; hate is a valid and legitmate feeling, because none of us are forced to like the same things. However, posting such detractive comments only has the purpose to stirr the anger and displeasure, especially for he who had used his precious time to give us such great work, but even when totally displeased with the story presented how can someone forget such an obvious and useful adivse "If you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all" ? At last, I can't explain how or why I love this story, it just touched me, and I'm sure this applies to the opposite fact, if you hated or simply disliked it, then it's just a matter of personal taste. I strongly believe that this is a place where different minds have equal opportunity to express their equally vaild views on the male muscle growth stream.[/COLOR] __________________ There's no such thing as TOO BIG! |
| August 14th, 2007, 07:41 AM | |||
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However, I sometimes found his grammar/spelling a bit confusing, though, and it took the flow out of the reading - everyone makes the occasional typo and I would have never said anything about it had he not said 'then' instead of 'than' in every single chapter. "Don't be so critical"? It was the only criticism I had... |
| August 14th, 2007, 08:51 PM | ||||||
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| [COLOR=gray][COLOR=gray]Ok, Bruno. I'll bite.[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray] Quote:
[COLOR=gray]Um, I didn't say anything specific about Red's writing ability. But since you?ve given me the opening --- I?ll say that his work definitely is not my style and, try as I might, I just can't seem to follow the motivations of his characters in any of his stories that I?ve read. "Touched" is a perfect example of my point: I just don't understand why Simon loves [/COLOR][COLOR=gray]Logan[/COLOR][COLOR=gray] at all. It fundamentally doesn?t make sense. While I can find qualities that I like in Red's characters, I just can't understand the actions they take, making his stories exceedingly difficult to enjoy. Other readers have pointed out other writing issues - spelling, tense shifts, etc - but as X said, this is a forum to help writers grow. It's up to the author to acknowledge those mistakes and correct going forward.[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray] Quote:
[COLOR=gray]Oh come on, Bruno. Let?s cut the melodrama. The emotions this story stirred weren't related to the plot at all. And I?d rather not be too harsh with my true view of the story. As I mentioned a few of the items that irked me in my last post, so I won't rehash what I've already stated here. Captivating, no offense Red, isn't a word I'd use to describe this story. It isn't a word you should use lightly, Bruno. I'm sure many enjoyed the story, but I doubt many could call it captivating. As I said, though, perhaps it just wasn?t my kind of story.[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray]Finally, I want to point out that in my post I?m commenting that Touched has few references to the novel on which people seem to think Red?s story is based. So, I don't view my comments as "nonsense" though you can feel however you want about them. I?m not going to lose any sleep over your views, Bruno. [/COLOR] [COLOR=gray] Quote:
[COLOR=gray]Isn't that the foundation of literary criticism?[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray] Quote:
[COLOR=gray]Agreed. Red did say that. But he also didn't stop people from proclaiming the second coming of [/COLOR][COLOR=gray]Hawthorne[/COLOR][COLOR=gray] reborn through the glory of Touched either. I was merely pointing out the obvious in saying that bore little resemblance to The Scarlett Letter. Read my post again, if you need to understand my comments.[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray] Quote:
[COLOR=gray]Sigh. If a writer expects nothing but praise, that person should show it to close friends. If that person wants to grow as a writer, they should relish criticism in order to improve their craft in the long-run.[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray] Quote:
[COLOR=gray]Interesting how not two paragraphs above, you tell me I have no place in questioning an author's motives or providing any negative feedback whatsoever. So which is it, Bruno? Do I have license to comment as I choose on stories and express my opinion however divergent it may be? Or do I sit in silence, keeping my negative thoughts to myself like a good boy? I'll choose the former approach in expressing my opinion in the hopes that it will enable a writer to grow. I?m an adult. So are the writers here. I'm never going to stand back and watch people laud praise for a work that doesn't make sense and that is seriously flawed, regardless of the author. As a writer you should expect your audience to keep you in check. That?s a fairly simple concept, I think.[/COLOR] [COLOR=gray]--JSmith[/COLOR] [/COLOR] |
| August 14th, 2007, 10:01 PM | |||
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| Settle down you two, we're not trying to start war here. I can understand that both of you have different views and such, and are equally open to posting comments whether they are both positive or negative. Let me see if I can answer some of your questions JSmith. Simon more or less thinks he's in love with Logan, but he's not entirely sure. His attraction is magically caused, so now he doesn't know if he really does love Logan or if he is just lusting after him like someone on viagra. I too sometimes have second thoughts about the actions of some characters, but then I imagine what they would do considering their personality and such. Perhaps in the future I'll be able to create characters that are more believeable, but until then, I'm still trying to get used to writing. The emotion within a story...I'm still experimenting with. A human heart is a very mysterious thing, and by writing I discover something new about it, little by little. This story may not be "captivating" as you say JSmith, but maybe someday I'll write something that can live up to your expectations. No offense Bruno, but I think I'll have to agree with JSmith about the subject on criticism. I said before that I welcome negative criticism, and still do. To me, negative criticism are like wrong answers on a quiz. Once you see where you went wrong in one area, you can study and work to improve it for the big test. What I'm trying to say that as good as postive remarks are, sometimes it's the harsh ones that can really evolve you into a better person. Concerning Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter, I never really intended Touched to be "The second coming of Hawthorne reborn" as you said it. Though the book was my inspiration and I added a few bits and pieces here and there, I never intended it to be exactly like it. That would be plaugerism. However, I had thought it would be fun for viewers to compare and contrast some things from the two stories, but if you've taken offense from this, then i'm sorry. Finally, I think that everyone is free to share their views. It's freedom of speech, after all, something that our American Fathers fought for. However, perhaps what Bruno meant was that you should do it in a more polite manner, though I personally found such bluntness refreshing. And Bruno, perhaps you were a bit too quick in your response. You may like my story, but different people have different tastes, opinions and views. It's something to keep in your mind as you read some comments that are posted about your work. Oh, on a last note, although I know the spelling and grammatical errors are annoying, I'm not too well gifted in grammar period. And the "then" and "than" mix up COULD be easily solved, but to be honest whenever I finish a chapter I'm just too relieved to have finished it then to make a word by word reread of it. I haven't made revisions a habit just yet, I'm still trying to get used to writing period, lol. Well anyways I just wanted everyone to know my views on this. It's actually pretty fun to discuss some of the flaws of my story, and it makes me excited to write some more. I'm not entirely sure, but the next chapter of Touched might be delayed just a tad bit. Right now I'm enjoying my summer, but soon I'll be back in the writing business. Many Thanks! -Red __________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage |
| August 14th, 2007, 11:52 PM | |||
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 __________________ Our three great gifts are life, the ability to laugh and to love. The greatest is life, but it is worth nothing without the next two. |
| August 15th, 2007, 06:33 AM | |||
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| In respect to Redkage, I won't go furhter into this matter, but I still keep everything said before. Besides, using parts of my response is a very low method to manipulate words out of their context, but even so I understand that you feel entitled to your criticism, and you'll never resign your right to comment, which I really can't force you to withold, but then I shall agree to disagree with you, because every time I see that comments are not actually positive criticism but disguised forms of personal offense, I shall express myself, and I shall use the words as they please me, because that is also part of the right of speech, a principle that had been so desperately worshipped like a golden calf that it may had lost its orginal and most significant meaning. Once again, I congratulate Redkage for having the courage to explore his most intimate fantasies and have the courage to post them, regardless the behavior some members feel entitled to demonstrate. __________________ There's no such thing as TOO BIG! |
| August 15th, 2007, 10:28 AM | |||
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| Alright, I want everyone to get some things straight right here and now. I love writing. I really do. If I didn't love writing, this story wouldn't have gotten as far as it had did. I am not writing to please anyone, nor do I change myself to the whims of one person. I do not write to be the crowd's favorite author or anything, and I am not writing to outshine or outdo some of the other great authors of this site. I do it because I enjoy making up stories, to see how they develop and grow. I post my stories here so that other people may enjoy them as well as I did writing them. Although praises are rather flattering, I am not the best author or perfect. I am flawed, clumsy, and I love it. I change whenever i feel it is neccesary for myself to change, and that's that. This story had been "gloomy and depressing" since the start. I chose this way, and if it sounds flat, then I'm really sorry you feel that way, though I would not change it for the world. This story is written how I see fit, and will be as I have pictured it in my mind since I first began writing it. I admit that it somewhat depressed me when i wrote it, seeing how all of the terrible things that are being done to Logan, but I still chose it to be that way. If I wish Logan to become happy or stay miserable, it'll be by my hand, not anyone elses. Second, I'll have to admit that I found JSmith's rather blunt criticism a bit disheartening at first, but I still took it in a way to improve myself. To some of you, it may sound like I'm actually trying to bend myself to change to the whims of one person, but i'm actually not. I'm just reinstating what I firmly believed in before reading his comment, no matter what you may think. The connection between Touched and Scarlet Letter is not entirely strong, I openly admit, but that is where the origin came from, and I give credit to Hawthorne for the idea (though he's probrably turning in his grave from the thought of a gay spinoff). To Muscl4life, I appreciate you defending me and everything, I really do. However, I don't like a war to erupt on the forums. You may think that some people are trying to purposely offend me, but I would prefer it if you don't stoop to their level as well. You're better then that. To JSmith, I am not trying to offend you or anything, but perhaps you can try to be less offensive sounding in your posts to avoid another confrontation like this. I agree with some of your points and disagree with others, and although your views are well thought out, I am not going to change myself to the extreme just because you said you didn't like my story. I had already planned out how I am going to write this, and your views are appreciated all the same. Though, to be honest directly quoting Bruno's words and arguing each weak point directly seems a bit harsh because he was only defending his view on the story. I know this sounds rude, but perhaps you can try writing comments that don't sound like a direct attack against something, then we all can avoid these kind of arguements (and that goes to you as well Bruno.) And to everyone else reading this, I apologize if i sound like an arrogant jerk, but I will not sit back and allow things to become out of hand. I am not attacking anyone, I am not flaming, I am merely informing and I'm sticking with that story. I will not allow this forum to turn into a two sided war once more. I've already seen what these things could do to two friends of mine, and I rather not see it happen once more. The story WILL go on how I see fit, and if you chose to not read it after this, or hate me because of my words, then I will just have to learn how to live with it. Now everyone BEHAVE! -Red __________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage Last edited by redkage; August 15th, 2007 at 10:35 AM. |
| August 15th, 2007, 10:51 AM | |||
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| "I love writing... ...this story wouldn't have gotten as far as it had did. I am not writing to please anyone...." Not a very good partial quote, but Red, I seriously have to agree with you, not all of us care what people think...well...we do, but we do it simply to do it. If people don't like the way a story is written or what it might be based on, that's their opinion. To me, every writer has a theme, even if he/she doesn't know what it is. It's not what they write about, it's how they write it and make it appear to the reader. Even if the writer does completely different things everytime and makes it work damn well, then that writer is a writer-of-many-talents. Let's take your story Red. You based most of it thus far on "The Scarlet Letter" correct? That took some talent in itself, but the hard part was not that, no, it was actually taking a book from over 150 years ago, and turning it into an erotic MG story in modern times. It's one thing to write a story, but to take an old story and change it in such a way to me shows talent of that equal to possibly others here on this site. This might have not made much sense, but I held my thoughts back until I knew that M4L and JSmith were finished talking. ----- P.S. I know for a fact that Mr. Hawthorne is not turning over in his grave for what you've done to his book. Nope, not one bit. He's gonna come out of his grave and eat your brain because of what you've done! I suggest you start running. __________________ In the MGS FC's I am Psycho Mantis! "Put your controller on the floor...Put it down as flat as you can...That's good. Now I will move your controller by the power of my will alone!" |
| August 15th, 2007, 03:53 PM | |||
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| FWIW... My take on Simon was that at least in part he felt real love for Logan... if only for the 8yo Logan that saved him from falling out of the tree... and since Logan was then lost to him for years, For Simon his feeling for Logan became crystallized at that moment... regardless of the curse... I may have missed it but given he had no idea about what happened to Logan and how it affected him. Nothing that Simon does screams out that Simon doing anything but acting on the "crush" he had on Logan at age 8, since Logan vanishing as he did, Simon never got over that crush... Under the "Super Jock" ego, the Simon that Logan saved was still there... (sort of like the way people think of James Dean, Elvis, John and Robert Kennedy frozen in time...) My guess is that Red, knowing the relationship he intended between Simon and Logan and and not foreseeing people accepting that Simon's affection for Logan was real and separate from the "lust" the curse was invoking in Simon... the fact that Simon didn't act on his the lust from the curse suggest the the true affection was stronger then than the curse... I still want to believe that there can be a positive resolution to this even though Red says that Logan is a "walking deadman"... In Scarlet Letter everyone dies or lives unhappily ever after... dealing with the close minded, self righteous but morally corrupt people 17Th century New England it couldn't end any other way There appear to me that there are several paths that could possibly ways to release Logan and Simon from the curse... (What happens to Simon if/when Logan dies) whether Red intended them to be there or not they are there and the only reason they haven't been tried is the Kin Lam Elders are same close minded puritanical self righteous butt heads that caused the events in scarlet letter... You broke the rule and must be punished severely but there nothing to justify it... If the Kin Lam are as far advanced beyond humans as want to believe they are what happen with Logan and Simon would not have been permitted to happen or there would be a way to reverse or at least minimize the damage... It all has the same kind feel as in "The Village" http://imdb.com/title/tt0368447/, There is some deep dark truth that they are afraid to access... and they will let Logan to shrivel up and blow away rather access the truth that could make things right... Right now I have a very low opinion of the Kin Lam regardless of the posturing if they can't make things right they are just some inbreed cult of that appear to have some level of psychic ability and are devoid of compassion... and not an improvement on humans at all... sorry I got carried away... Ender Last edited by Ender; August 15th, 2007 at 03:59 PM. |
| November 27th, 2007, 08:33 PM | |||
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| I just found this story & want to catch up, but... ... I found the Chapter 10 comments but not Chapter 10 itself. Is there some way I could get that? Thanks. - TagsNOLA |
| November 27th, 2007, 09:38 PM | |||
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| Quote:
__________________ Ancient Proverb: Whatever doesn't kill you today will only make you sore the next morning. redkage |
| November 28th, 2007, 02:14 PM | |||
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| 2nd page Quote:
Thanks! - TagsNOLA |
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