Muscle Humor

[omelissokomos]

This thread's mainly to offset the oft-times depressing Muscle in the News.

How to Squat Big Time
"Have you always wanted to be one of those feared monsters in the gym, but never knew the secret? Have people covered their eyes in fear when you walk past? Do you see little scrawny guys scurry away from the fountain when you grunt, or have an entourage follow you around to watch your every lift, in absolute awe? Well, you've got to get noticed, and do the stylin' squat. Here's the guide for doing squats to ensure the fastest growth in your gym prowess."

Do fries go with that shake?
"Look, you're stupid for buying protein powder at Wal-Mart in the first place. It probably comes from China and who knows what the 'protein' actually is."

Pecs City Gym (Yes, I've linked to it before)
"We guarantee we'll make you 30% vainer in your first three weeks."

[msclundylvr]

Nice! I particularly like the Pecs City Gym. I swear there are a couple of guys at my gym who do nothing but get into their workout gear, make a few loops around the gym, and head home without ever actually getting on a piece of equipment! (and it shows...)

[Big RR]

Originally Posted by msclundylvr

Nice! I particularly like the Pecs City Gym. I swear there are a couple of guys at my gym who do nothing but get into their workout gear, make a few loops around the gym, and head home without ever actually getting on a piece of equipment! (and it shows...)

There is a big beefy guy that I have met once or twice how goes to my gym. He used to be really ripped! Now the pecs are heading south and everything is looking flabby. One day all he did was walk around with a cup of coffee and chat.

I actually said, are you going to workout or walk around all day with that coffee mug and he jokingly said, walk around all day! I said well maybe you should look in one of the many mirrors here and put down the mug lol!

[achilles]

Has this been posted here before? Probably. But I always get a chuckle out of it - and extra motivation on leg days!

Behold; a funny beer ad that shows what happens if you spend too much time bench-pressing, and not enough time squatting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF85l-_4OI4

[omelissokomos]

Steve's World of Exercise
Guilty as charged, but not anymore.

Planning your next vacation?
Honey, I've found the perfect spot to go to this year...

Safety First
Don't take a rain check on protection.

[rextorres]

Thanks for the humor and for creating this thread, 'O'! In my opinion, we definitely need to lighten up the place. Muscle growth should be something worth celebrating! It has become a burden, especially in the stories.

Muscle growth and big, muscular men have become associated with fear, anger, hatred, bullying, violence and destruction. Whatever happened to heroes, strength, helping one another, feats of strength, daring rescues, adventures, bending steel, and saving lives? There has been a "dark trend" in the recent muscle growth stories lately, and I wonder what has caused it. It could be from recent books, TV shows, or movies. Hollywood and the recent political situation could be to blame, not to mention all the wars that are going on in the world today. But, that's why now MORE than ever we need some humor, to help us through these dark times. I hope some of the authors on this site agree with me!

Enough with all the doom and gloom in all the stories, let's lighten up the place. If you want doom and gloom, just turn to CNN.

[nj.]

Originally Posted by omelissokomos

Planning your next vacation?
Honey, I've found the perfect spot to go to this year...

Wohoo, Dutch ad :P

"You will always find the ideal holiday destination on Transavia.nl"
"Maris!? How about we go for a nice week on the beach!"
"Really!?"
"Yes... ... the two of us"

You know, just in case you were wondering

[omelissokomos]

MANtage
In the same vein as Picnicface's Powerthirst

Coloreria Italiana
Laundry day gets colorful

Placebo!
The newest miracle pill to hit the market (Sims-style)

[CelticMuscle]

but this is something I created as part of a pantomime version of "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" between Phileas Fogg, Passepartout (Phileas Fogg's valet and former gymnast) and Professor Lidenbrock (German geology professor) whilst travelling from London to Aberdeen.

Fogg: Passepartout, you don?t seem your normal cheery self today. Is something wrong?
Passepartout: Nothing?s wrong, Monsieur. It is just that this time last year, I was happily in Lille circus, being an acrobat, a strongman.
Lidenbr?ck: (to Fogg) You never told me that Passepartout used to be a strongman!
Fogg: Didn?t I?
Lidenbr?ck: No, if I had known, I wouldn?t have asked Hans to help us
Passepartout: Hans, Monsieur?
Lidenbr?ck: Ja, Hans, he?s an old friend of mine since 1877. I was climbing in the Tyrol as part of a geological expedition with him when I lost my footing.
Fogg: What happened?
Lidenbr?ck: We were all attached to each other by a piece of rope and when Hans felt a tug on his part of the rope, he instantly knew what had happened. He grabbed a nearby rock and held on whilst I was left dangling on the end of the rope. After about ten or so minutes, I noticed that I was being pulled up. When I cleared a ledge, I could not believe what I saw.
Passepartout: Let me guess, Hans was pulling you up by his little finger(!)
Lidenbr?ck: No, his index finger, actually, whilst using this rock as an anchorage.

(Fogg and especially Passepartout are stunned into silence as Transfer disguised as a ticket collector enters the carriage)

[omelissokomos]

Brings new meaning to the word deadlift.

[omelissokomos]

"I'm a total sucker for chicken legs."
What women want

Big where it counts
Size does matter

Polka Broadband
Anyone speak Afrikaans? At least they're pretty to look at.

[omelissokomos]

In the Hulking Out YG, loopyrhino shared this gag show clip, the second half of which features our favorite jolly green giant. It's in another language, but the humor isn't lost in non-translation.