Making a Co-Worker Feel Small

[achilles]

Hey...

Just a wee fun story to share from work. I just started a new job four days ago, so I'm working with a whole bunch of new people. Unlike the co-workers in my last job, who saw me turn from 163lb to 220lb of muscledom in the space of the year, these folk have only known the new me. I used to get comments ALL the time at my last job*, but I figured my new co-workers would just take my size as normal and I probably wouldn't hear as much about it.

I might just have to think again! The new joint is a bar / restaurant, and I'm working the front of house; during the day I'll be bustling in and out of the kitchen, taking out food and handing off the dirty plates to the dishwasher. I'm dressed in a smart, but short-sleeved black buttondown shirt - just the thing for showing off my 18" guns, right? ;-) Anyway, so the dishwasher is this guy in his late twenties, a Brazilian, incredibly handsome face. He's the same height as I am, and has a toned, solid build - he goes to the gym in the evenings. He's the kinda guy I would have looked up to and wished I had the body of come a year ago. It was another of my visits to his sink today as I stood alongside him, when he suddenly exclaimed (loud enough for the whole kitchen to hear):

"Man, every time you come in here, you're making me feel small!"

I never imagined I'd be making anyone like him feel small! But that certainly made my afternoon!

And to top it off, after work had finished I was sitting at a local takeout eatery, idly texting a friend on my mobile, when I heard a voice at the door greet me by name. I look up, and it was one of my old customers from my previous place of work. I simply greeted him back, and as he got his own food he happened to say to me: "Wow... you're really getting BIG all over, aren't you?"

I just gave him my own knowing chuckle. If only these folk realised how big I wanna get yet ;-) Coming from an ex-skinnyguy though, it still feels freakin' ace every time.

So... co-workers - tell us what your own are like or say!

* I could write a book on the stuff they used to say. Seriously!

[hoosierlifter]

Achillies, I have to ask the obvious. what's your secret? I've been lifting for 8 years and I would say I'm serious about it, but I haven't made the gains you have. I mean 50# in 10 months, that's remarkable in my book. I've known a handful of guys that were able to put on maybe 25# in a year. I'm actually trying to drop weight now and not gain. I'm 230# at 6'2" and I'm doing more cardio and less lifting. Plus I have tendonitis in my right arm that is unbearable during benchpress and triceps exercises. The doctor said to lay off any thing that might aggravate my elbow for 4 weeks and I am taking therapy for it. Before this I was up to a max bench of 305#. I just hope I can get that back. Congrats on your progress and keep going.

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by hoosierlifter

Achillies, I have to ask the obvious. what's your secret? I've been lifting for 8 years and I would say I'm serious about it, but I haven't made the gains you have. I mean 50# in 10 months, that's remarkable in my book. I've known a handful of guys that were able to put on maybe 25# in a year. I'm actually trying to drop weight now and not gain. I'm 230# at 6'2" and I'm doing more cardio and less lifting. Plus I have tendonitis in my right arm that is unbearable during benchpress and triceps exercises. The doctor said to lay off any thing that might aggravate my elbow for 4 weeks and I am taking therapy for it. Before this I was up to a max bench of 305#. I just hope I can get that back. Congrats on your progress and keep going.

he's got good genetics. Even if you look at his before pics, you can see that his bicep is pretty big. Once he started working, they just exploded. He's got good structure, and with proper training and diet, he grew.

[hoosierlifter]

I always tell my w/o partner that genetics play a huge role in what kind of results you get and he disagrees. Of course, he's 21, 5'10" 150# with about 2% bodyfat. He was 125# when he started lifting with me a year ago.

[achilles]

Originally Posted by hoosierlifter

Achillies, I have to ask the obvious. what's your secret? I've been lifting for 8 years and I would say I'm serious about it, but I haven't made the gains you have. I mean 50# in 10 months, that's remarkable in my book. I've known a handful of guys that were able to put on maybe 25# in a year. I'm actually trying to drop weight now and not gain. I'm 230# at 6'2" and I'm doing more cardio and less lifting. Plus I have tendonitis in my right arm that is unbearable during benchpress and triceps exercises. The doctor said to lay off any thing that might aggravate my elbow for 4 weeks and I am taking therapy for it. Before this I was up to a max bench of 305#. I just hope I can get that back. Congrats on your progress and keep going.

Man, I wish the answer to that question were something obvious and easily said, like "Oh actually I've been using steroids", but its not because I haven't! So the answer is nothing that people want to hear - I don't have a secret as such, I just train well, eat well, and get my sleep.

When folk like Corwin used to say "its the genetics!" I used to disagree, because I always thought folk with good bodybuilding genes would have started big, or had big people in their families - neither of which apply to me. But even I have to admit now there's something in that idea, I must have something good genetic going on to have come so far, so soon. It was just unexpected!

Information helps; by the time I began training last September, I'd already read The New Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding cover to cover several times, so I knew just what to do. Also consistency in the gym is key to making progress in my book - no skipping training, no matter what! And always increase the weight or reps or reduce the rest every time. You'll never catch me doing the same workout twice

Oh, and my bench press is 310lb for four reps. I was benching 110lb last September

[massingUP]

Originally Posted by achilles

When folk like Corwin used to say "its the genetics!" I used to disagree, because I always thought folk with good bodybuilding genes would have started big, or had big people in their families - neither of which apply to me.

I've been lifting for about 10+ years, and in that time gained about 40# of muscle I'm what they call a slow grower, and my genetics aren't great for gaining size: however, I eat 7x/day, lift with as much intensity as I can muster, and I'm constantly trying to improve... and I have had some good gains.

The thing I try to keep in mind that good genetics aren't worth a whole lot without the proper training, diet and sleep regimen. So when Corwin says "it's the genetics", I suspect he's suggesting that the truly remarkable growth that Achilles here has achieved -- growing more in a single year than I did in 10 -- is due to some truly phenomenal genetics that have been unlocked by a kickass workout regimen, a hardcore diet and a serious level of intensity. Genetics aren't a substitute for hard work -- they just make that hard work more effective.

And just as an aside, a good friend of mine has very similar genetics. I think I've mentioned him before, but when he started lifting at age 17, over 30 years ago, he gained 25# in the first six weeks and went from 13" biceps to 16" biceps in that same timeframe. I've seen the pics. All from lifting at an old-school gym in NYC and drinking whole milk. Clearly, he was a mass of phenomenal genetics just waiting to be unlocked by the iron. And he also didn't come from a family of big, strong muscular guys. So you can't necessarily know what your genetics are until you explore them...

AND, just for the record, as someone who is maybe not quite so genetically gifted as Achilles, I think that we should ALL be trying to maxx out our genetics and maybe even see how we can push beyond them. And if that means that I end up at 240# and Achilles ends up at 320#, then that's fine by me.... The world needs more truly HUGE men. <g>

- J.

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by massingUP

I've been lifting for about 10+ years, and in that time gained about 40# of muscle I'm what they call a slow grower, and my genetics aren't great for gaining size: however, I eat 7x/day, lift with as much intensity as I can muster, and I'm constantly trying to improve... and I have had some good gains.

The thing I try to keep in mind that good genetics aren't worth a whole lot without the proper training, diet and sleep regimen. So when Corwin says "it's the genetics", I suspect he's suggesting that the truly remarkable growth that Achilles here has achieved -- growing more in a single year than I did in 10 -- is due to some truly phenomenal genetics that have been unlocked by a kickass workout regimen, a hardcore diet and a serious level of intensity. Genetics aren't a substitute for hard work -- they just make that hard work more effective.

[...]

AND, just for the record, as someone who is maybe not quite so genetically gifted as Achilles, I think that we should ALL be trying to maxx out our genetics and maybe even see how we can push beyond them. And if that means that I end up at 240# and Achilles ends up at 320#, then that's fine by me.... The world needs more truly HUGE men. <g>

- J.

Ya, what James said. One more thing, though. While I'm sure we are all fascinated by Achilles story and appreciate the posts, I think it would be nice to remember that there are lots of guys out here that

1) are educated about bodybuilding
2) didn't start out with 14 inch arms, but started with 11 or smaller
3) do eat right
4) do work out regularly and consistently
5) are lucky if they put on 10 - 20 pounds per year (which, btw, is average or good)

Making big cow orkers feel small is one thing, but making guys less gifted than you feel inadequate/stupid/small, even if that was not your intension, probably isn't so cool.

[tremorwolf]

I dont wanna even THINK about the genetic aspect! So far, ive been screwed over roaly by my genetics (short, dyslexic, poor memory, no sense of smell, ex) So, sorry, but "F" genetics! im getting huge and im not even going to let the NOTION of my genetics come into this.


errrr, sorry for the rant..i just got home from work and was a bit pissed XD


go about your business, nothing to see here

[achilles]

Originally Posted by Corwin

Making big cow orkers feel small is one thing, but making guys less gifted than you feel inadequate/stupid/small, even if that was not your intension, probably isn't so cool.

Ouch! If that was directed at me... I'm not the kind of guy who tries to make ANYONE feel inadequate. Just sharing the joy of my own journey of getting big, that's all. But if I did say anything that made anyone feel crap... apologies.

[Corwin]

Originally Posted by achilles

Ouch! If that was directed at me... I'm not the kind of guy who tries to make ANYONE feel inadequate. Just sharing the joy of my own journey of getting big, that's all. But if I did say anything that made anyone feel crap... apologies.

I never thought you would do anything like this intentionally. However, sometimes when a person is so exuberant and happy about their own accomplishments, they can forget that others have different experiences.

peace.

[massingUP]

Originally Posted by achilles

Ouch! If that was directed at me... I'm not the kind of guy who tries to make ANYONE feel inadequate. Just sharing the joy of my own journey of getting big, that's all. But if I did say anything that made anyone feel crap... apologies.

I suspect the difference here is just one of semantics: "making" a co-worker feel small vs. co-workers noticing and commenting on how BIG one is getting.

And both the intentions of the big-guy and the reaction of the co-workers are key factors here: a big guy can just be going about his business at work, being big, but his co-worker can react in a number of different ways. He could "feel small" and feel like crap about himself... OR he could be inspired by the big guy and hit the gym even harder and get even bigger himself!

As has been said many times before, we can't control how other people act in the world: we can only control how we act, and how we react to others... So as long as we're not intentionally going around trying to make others feel like crap, there's nothing wrong with being a big guy in the office.

And on that note, a story. I typically wear long-sleeved dress-shirts to the office, and so any changes in my physique tend not to get noticed all that quickly. But about 3 weeks ago, we ran an event in the office that required us to all wear matching t-shirts. Now, the last time we had to do this was about a year ago, so I knew that there'd been some significant changes in my size. So I decided that my plain ol "Large" tshirt at home from the previous year probably wouldn't work, so I requested an XL instead.

At any rate, the fateful day arrived, I put on my XL tshirt and it was actually tighter than last year's "large" used to be. And suddenly I became the subject of conversation all over the office. One guy walked into the kitchen and said, "James, is that you behind all those biceps?" And a prep meeting for the event turned into an entire 6 minute conversation about me and how much bigger I'd gotten. "Is that the XL I got you yesterday? I can't believe the XL is that small on you." and a lot of "Wow, you're so much bigger... I had no idea you were so big."

It was all pretty funny... but also kind of overwhelming, particularly in a professional/managerial context. I blushed, got embarrassed, but also enjoyed the hell out of it. Which is the whole point of this in the first place isn't it? It's about enjoying yourself and having fun with others -- whether it's in the gym or the bedroom or just trading hellos with a fellow-musclehead on the sidewalk in the morning on the way to work.

Anyway, that's enough from me. But thought I'd just share a bit...

- James

[Bobert11284]

I just started lifting about 4 months ago, and there are alot of guys who make me feel small (trust me). However, I don't think that it is up to them to walk on eggshells around me, as to not make me feel negative about myself. It is the same as someone who has inherited a great deal of money... Should they not spend the money? Because if they do spend it, they might make others jealous.
If I inherit alot of money I am buying some awesome new toys, and I intend to enjoy them. If I gain alot of muscle mass, I intend to show them off. If anyone sees it and becomes jealous, then I hope that it will only fuel their ambition.
I think all of you who have come from a body that you were not happy with, and now have body that is something to be envied, should pride yourself. You worked hard, and now it is time to enjoy what you worked for. If others covet your gains, then that is something they need to deal with on their own.

[Jim USA]

When you wear long sleeves all the time, coworkers can't always tell that you are a workout guy. Some coworkers saw me at the gym working out in a sleeveless shirt and said, "Wow, Jim. You really have some big guns!" And when staining the deck last year, I wore a ribbed tank top and my son's teenage friend says, "Wow, Jim. You're buff!" I like those comments. Wouldn't you?

[Corwin]

Ya... This can both be good and bad. I recently had to get rid of 14 shirts because they were just too tight in the back and sleeves. I'm not use to having guns, but I must be getting them. Cow-orkers are commenting that, "ya, we know, you have muscles," and razzing me about it. I was out after work with them last Friday and put my arm up on the side of a chair, and they began to comment on my flexed bicep.

Today, I'm wearing a shirt that survived the gutting, but now it feels tight around the back and arms. It might be the next to go.

On the other hand, the cow-orkers noticing in an envious way is a bit of a head rush.