Boyfriends

[hecad84]

This is just something I've been thinking about lately. For those of you who have boyfriends, do they share your interest in muscle, or merely accept it as being part of you? Where did you meet him? And, for those of you who actually workout, did your body help you to get your bf? Just some thoughts I've had.

[musclebear420]

Good question, buddy. My BF keeps in good shape, but he's not a lifter (he's older, and he deals with gout and arthritis, which would inhibit any serious lifting even if he had the desire). He accepts lifting the same way he accepts everything else about me...he's not crazy about eggs cooking at 6 in the morning, but he loves me and he knows it comes with the territory.

We met completely by chance in a bar, and yes my body was a factor in attracting him...according to him it was the thick legs. He claims that at the time he was thinking to himself, "How can I get this guy AND KEEP HIM?", but he really didn't have to try...he had everything I was looking for, too.

[brent]

When I first met my husband, he was in great shape. That's partly why I noticed him. Coincidentally, we both belonged to the same gym. Our second date was at the Gold's Gym (now 24 Hour Fitness) in NW Portland, then to middle-eastern restaurant after. 10 years later, we are still together, although neither one of us is as fit as we once were... He doesn't really understand my obsession with muscle, and I wish he did. However, he is just as passionate about roller-coasters, and they scare the living s**t out of me! The thing is that it is best if you fall in love with someone that has the same fetish as you, but that isn't necessary. What is necessary is that you find someone that you truly love, and that you both accept each-other's quirks.

[polomuscle]

share my obsession with muscle? no, he doesn't share my obsession. he knows i am attracted to muscle dudes, and he does enjoy getting into worshipping and being turned on by my muscles (esp. pecs) when we have sex. that part is hot for me.

accept it? absolutely he accepts it.

does he know that i look at this site, that i sometimes jerk off to bodybuilder pics, that i obsess over preppy jock boys? no. would he be surprised or upset to find out these things? probably not.

he does know that i am attracted to preppy jock types, that i am hot for the buff guys at the gym, that i wanted to fuck (and to BE) the buff lacrosse players in high school.

he is NOT a buff prepster jock, nor would he ever be caught dead wearing a polo or a patagonia fleece or white bucks. does it keep us from enjoying being with each other? no.

do i wish he would get buff and work out? yes.

do i still find him sexy even though he's not buff? yes.

where did we meet? through a friend (working on an art project)

body: did my body attract him to me? actually, it was my mind that attracted him, he said. we got interested in each other via a long verbal correspondence.

attached: impossible muscle. do i like looking at it? yes. is my life over just cuz i'll never look like that? what do you think.

[claygrant]

Resurrecting an old thread...
Just last week my bf started to say things straight out of a story from this site, such as, "I'm gonna get huge, you watch." or "I'm gonna be a f*ckin monster!"

Now of course some of it is just playing around, mocking me because he knows I'm into huge muscle. He mutters, "Jay Cutler" jokingly because he thinks it's funny that I can list off full names of pro bodybuilders. So what's with the sudden change of heart?

Scroll back to a few months ago. He hasn't gone to the gym with me in ages, and even if he did, he focused more on cardio than weights. Eventually I asked why, and we got into a serious discussion about muscle. He revealed that my "obsession" with going to the gym to bulk up was intimidating. Intimidating! He's the one who can out lift me in anything and still overpower me if he wanted to. Yet my drive to get bigger caused him to lose interest in lifting weights. Yikes.

I tried to explain why I am doing this now (check other post I just wrote on motivations), since I was a skinny kid all throughout school. He was able to reach his goals much earlier than me. When he was a kid, he saw a WWF wrestler bounce his pecs and so he promised himself that he'd get big enough to do that. Fast forward to high school. He was the strongest guy in his school, always lifting more weight than any other kid could. Everyone watched him do bench presses in the school gym. I mean cmon, most of us would go nuts if that happened to us now, and this was in high school! So I told him, since he grew up with that experience, why would he ever have a desire to become big and strong like I do? He had already lived the dream in high school.

Well in the last few weeks, I've noticed that he's been feeling my biceps (he rarely did that in the past), and now he's saying things like "I'm gonna be huge" which he knows is what I want BUT he has said in the past, "I don't want to be THAT big, just cut." I basically had given up on the idea that he'd be any bigger than he is now. But maybe my growth has finally reached a threshold for him... he'll have to outgrow me or else risk the time when I can overpower him. Not anytime soon, mind you, but maybe years from now!

[ethernet_jock]

I find it incredibly awesome that you and your boyfriend may soon have this friendly competition going on that drives you both to newer and greater sizes!! So cool.... isn't it great how love works? Hetero or Homo... it's so cool.

It took YEARS to convince my wife that if I lifted weights I wouldn't end up some over-sized arrogant overly-vascular arnold freak that she wouldn't want to be married to anymore. She fell in love with me, not my body.... and for that I love her more than anything. So when I finally started doing it anyway because I'd always wanted to, she was at first quite aprehensious (sp?) saying things like "you're already big enough" or "I don't need you turning into one of THOSE bodybuilder types"... Now that I'm a little bigger, and still the same loving husband only capable of doing more things... and doing things that impress her friends and relatives... and having more fun in bed... and impressing people at her 10 year high school reunion... shes really starting to like it and even urging me to go to the gym when I feel lazy! w00t!!! I about fell out of my chair a few days ago when she said she thought she might want to start working out with me too!!!!

Love is so cool - particularly when it grows and morphs and changes into something even better.

Thanks for the update Clay!!

[jcnutt]

It has been a dream of mine to find someone that would have the same interestes in muscle, or at least in keeping in good shape, as I am. Finding a good and trusting training partner that might turn into something more would be amazing. Its really good to hear that some of you have found that with your men and women (way to go EJ) perhaps it will happen, one of the gyms I train at, tow of the greatest guys are owners and partners in health.. and some good motivation also..

[muscleUP2me]

Thanks for re-stimulating this thread, Clay...

The main reason I believe I'm gay is that I'm strongly attracted to muscular men. So if I had a "type" of guy that really turned me on and did it for me, it would undoubtedly be huge, massive, and muscular.

Recently I'm concerned that I may have passed up a few wonderful men who were interested in me as potential boyfriend. Since they weren't exceptionally (or at all) muscular, I may have overlooked the qualities that really matter for a relationship.

On the other side of all this, the [few] boyfriends I have had, were not my type! In fact, they've been somewhat the opposite. I hadn't overlooked them! :-)

For me, a muscular man is not just a physical turn-on, but a mental and emotional one as well. I understand the commitment and dedication involved to be a bodybuilder. This is something I value and respect in the men (and even women) who do it. But I do not have this discipline within myself. I used to go to the gym to keep toned, but that has stopped since I was dealing with cancer last year. The blessing in this disguise is that I lost some unwanted weight (NOT a diet I would recommend to anyone! :-) Now that I'm feeling better, I find it difficult to start exercising again. This time I'm going to try swimming. So, I'm not a big guy, but I have retained some nice tone.

I'm a bit envious of seeing couples made up of a muscular guy and a regular sized guy. It also makes me hopeful that someday I will find a man who I can love, respect, honor, share, and commit...and who happens to be incredibly muscled!

[claygrant]

Originally Posted by muscleUP2me

The main reason I believe I'm gay is that I'm strongly attracted to muscular men. So if I had a "type" of guy that really turned me on and did it for me, it would undoubtedly be huge, massive, and muscular.

MuscleUP2Me, you really hit the nail on the head here. I agree with you 100%. I even got into an argument with a complete stranger in a chatroom because he didn't believe me when I said I am turned on by only muscle. He didn't believe that I would be just as happy with a castrated bodybuilder (his extreme example) or a female bodybuilder (if it came down to basics). Anyone else feel this way? I prefer the male physique because it is usually much larger, stronger, and more vascular. Plus big pecs on a guy just look so right.

Also, MuscleUP2Me, I am glad to hear you are exercising after your bout with cancer. My mom has been going to the gym since her battle with cancer 4 years ago. Before that, she had despised exercise and I had worried about her overall health. She could probably out jog me now!

EthernetJock, it's funny what your wife said because my bf said the same things... "you're already big enough" or "I don't need you turning into one of THOSE bodybuilder types". He also asked several times, "Why would you want to be THAT big?" He has stopped asking though, so maybe he finally decided to leave me alone!

[brent]

Yeah, I've always joked that if I weren't obsessed with muscle, I could be straight! I have a friend that loves skinny guys, and I just don't get it. All I can say is, "To each his own."

[kfarnz]

Originally Posted by claygrant

it's funny what your wife said because my bf said the same things... "you're already big enough" or "I don't need you turning into one of THOSE bodybuilder types". He also asked several times, "Why would you want to be THAT big?" He has stopped asking though, so maybe he finally decided to leave me alone!

and my situation is just the opposite... my BF has always been interest in huge muscles (which I definitely did not have) and I wasn't that interested in trying to get big. He never suggested that I should work out more or train harder, but I knew that he would LOVE it for me to be totally ripped.

And now, for whatever reason, I've increased my intensity at the gym and am starting to grow... and he couldn't be happier about it

[brent]

Originally Posted by kfarnz

...
And now, for whatever reason, I've increased my intensity at the gym and am starting to grow... and he couldn't be happier about it

Maybe out of love, your sub-conscience decided to make you push harder. I bet he will be tickled pink as you continue to grow, and you will be healthier for it. Congratulations!

[kfarnz]

Originally Posted by brent

I bet he will be tickled pink as you continue to grow, and you will be healthier for it. Congratulations!

He's always telling me how good my body looks, even now. But I'm like alot of guys who have some real self-image issues. I see myself in the mirror and think my build is "average" -- at best. I don't see the muscles.

I've been working alot on that and think that I am training myself to see my progress and proof of progress can be the greatest motivator! I'm 6'2", 210#, 34"w now.

[brent]

Kfarnz,
If those are your real stats, then you have NO reason to have self-image problems. Why don't you and your boyfriend post pics here every couple months, and get encouragement from the group? Maybe it's good you have these issues: it sounds like you are building an awesome body that you, and your partner can enjoy for many years to come.

[kfarnz]

[QUOTE=brent]Kfarnz,
If those are your real stats, then you have NO reason to have self-image problems. Why don't you and your boyfriend post pics here every couple months, and get encouragement from the group? [QUOTE]

Actually, Brent, that occurred to me. I'm a member of a couple of other bodybuilding boards but would never have considered posting there. I just found this site this week and have been very impressed with the supportive community. I realize that I can't view my body objectively -- that I will always focus on my shortcomings and not see the good -- and think it might help to have some outsiders' unbiased opinions. Maybe I'll even have my bf take the pics, so he can be part of the process and have him show off what he feels are my best attributes.

[muscleboytom]

[QUOTE=claygrant]MuscleUP2Me, you really hit the nail on the head here. I agree with you 100%. I even got into an argument with a complete stranger in a chatroom because he didn't believe me when I said I am turned on by only muscle. He didn't believe that I would be just as happy with a castrated bodybuilder (his extreme example) or a female bodybuilder (if it came down to basics). Anyone else feel this way? I prefer the male physique because it is usually much larger, stronger, and more vascular. Plus big pecs on a guy just look so right.

Clay, excellent point and i totally agree about muscle being the major turn-on for me. I self-identify as gay and love male bodybuilders, but a few years ago doing a net search for muscle growth stories, I got a link to the Diana The Valkyrie website and started reading the stories about female bodybuilders, and to my surprise I got turned on! LOL Anyway, my muscle fetish has evolved to the point where I now am turned on by muscle and beautiful muscular physiques male and female. In fact, most of my muscle fantasies now revolve around muscular women, although I wouldn't toss Branch Warren out of my bed, <grin>. Interesting topic and would love to discuss with anyone interested on the board.

Muscleboytom

[newmus]

[quote=muscleboytom]

Originally Posted by claygrant

MuscleUP2Me, you really hit the nail on the head here. I agree with you 100%. I even got into an argument with a complete stranger in a chatroom because he didn't believe me when I said I am turned on by only muscle. He didn't believe that I would be just as happy with a castrated bodybuilder (his extreme example) or a female bodybuilder (if it came down to basics). Anyone else feel this way? I prefer the male physique because it is usually much larger, stronger, and more vascular. Plus big pecs on a guy just look so right.

Clay, excellent point and i totally agree about muscle being the major turn-on for me. I self-identify as gay and love male bodybuilders, but a few years ago doing a net search for muscle growth stories, I got a link to the Diana The Valkyrie website and started reading the stories about female bodybuilders, and to my surprise I got turned on! LOL Anyway, my muscle fetish has evolved to the point where I now am turned on by muscle and beautiful muscular physiques male and female. In fact, most of my muscle fantasies now revolve around muscular women, although I wouldn't toss Branch Warren out of my bed, <grin>. Interesting topic and would love to discuss with anyone interested on the board.

Muscleboytom

haven't gotten to that point yet but a really huge chick won't deflate me as much as a cute swimmer would, but yes i'm basicly turned on only by muscle with few exceptions. i am attracted to other things, but without the right physique you mite as well be beyonce, hot but not what i'm looking for.