Coming Out

[Stoneman]

What was coming out like for you guys? How did your parents react? Your straight male friends? Are you better off for it or worse?

Are you still in the closet?

[musclegod300]

You Kinda placed this in a bad place bro I'm surprised I even saw it. First of All everyone I knew was really cool with it when I came out, as long as you stay the same as you always did. Don't go out and try and be the gay stereotype just cause your out and proud, thats never cool. As for the rest you just need to grab your cock and move your socks. The longer you wait the harder it is. All my friends were really supportive and really didn't care either (Yes even The Jocks). I was still a guy, but just slept with other guys haha. And my parents.. Well it depends on your parents but Mine were fine with. They were in denial for a while though because I was so butch and dated girls but there living with it. Oh and if your Still In HS, you want to wait tell after I would say, If not go ahead.

Hope I Helped Good Luck

P.S. Tell Your best Friend First (Especially if Its a girl They will flip a biscuit and love you for ever) But if its a guy Tell him Anyway. Through a text or In person what ever you want.

[wbhunk]

How I came out was a combination of a long process of letting most people know bit by bit and then telling my family flat-out.

My parents and the rest of my family reacted VERY poorly, and there's still a big rift between us because of their reaction.

However, I had one of my coworkers tell me that, prior to his meeting me, he'd always had trouble working with other gay people because, as he put it, they acted "so unnatural. You just want to get the job done, and it seems like you go out of your way to make everyone comfortable."

And that really is what it's all about -- being matter-of-fact and who you are. It's about being able to talk naturally about your partner in public, to check into a room with both your names on the register, taking him to the company holiday party, and so forth. None of this happens overnight; it's a process of you opening up and deciding how much and when you want to share.

As for better or worse, it depends. Sometimes I wish I'd never said anything to my family; however, you can only postpone the inevitable for so long. The secret is realizing that it doesn't matter who rejects you or for what reason; it's that you think enough of yourself to be who you are.

[Slevin]

I'm kind of at a mixed point.

I describe my self as bisexual. I do not believe it is the result of me being unwilling to consider myself completely homosexual. I simply derive pleasure from men and women. I haven't really decided where I fall on the line, "bi-" often implies that it's 50/50. It isn't but I'm not sure where I'd place myself.

I did tell my close friends. As a result all but one of them does not talk to me anymore.

In my view it is their loss. I have not told a larger group of friends that I work with. I don't think they would have a problem with it but the main problem is that I work with my sister. She would undoubtedly find out quickly.

I don't think I am ready to tell my family yet. I hope that one day I'll be able to express that part of myself much more freely.

I agree with the guys above.. The sterotype only exists if there is someone to fill it. High pitched voices and bright clothing just annoys me.

[TheMM]

It took me until about two years ago to finally decide what to call myself. Obviously, I decided on bisexual.

The decision actually came a bit differently then you might expect: I actually decided once and for all to be bi when I was reading Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five (or "The Children's Crusade") and right at the end of the book, there's a picture of two naked boobies, plain as day. After feeling a slight stirring in my pants at said picture, and realizing I got the same thing from looking at hot guys, that set me; I was bisexual from there on out.

Well, that's my lil story.

So it goes.

[chocomus]

I'm on my way out, but taking it slowly. I've already told two firends (female) and they were very supportive( I've never been more nervous, i needed 30 minutes to say it aloud). By now i'm not in a hurry to tell my family about it. Especially if i don't have a boyfriend. I know they love me and all, but i don't want them to be deceptionated or sad or whatever. I'm fine as i'm now. I don't see the necessity to tell them now. But i know that I will...eventually.

[plasmatic5]

I told my closest friends first when I was a sophomore in high school. Luckily, one of them was a gay guy so he was very supportive of course. One of my male friends did stop talking to me though for about a year until he realized he was being immature. It took me two years after coming out to my friends to finally tell my sister though who was luckily supportive. I told my mom over the phone and was on it for about half an hour trying to convince her. I'm still not sure if i did. Rest of the family doesn't know. I figured I won't tell them until I get a boyfriend. So that's what happened for me.
I think the best thing to do is just take it slowly by telling one really good friend who you're positive will accept you. Then that friend will be able to help you tell other people. Hope this helps for anyone who needs it.

[Minotaur]

My parents were dead by the time I came out (38 years old). My friends and family said they always kind of knew, and had accepted long before that I might be gay. It was no surprise.

[GunMetalGrey88]

i don't know where im at, im 19 and a virgin in every scenario, i don't understand anything about myself, im here on this site i don't like seeing dick so i guess im not gay but i don't know

[BigLittleTim]

Originally Posted by GunMetalGrey88

i don't know where im at, im 19 and a virgin in every scenario, i don't understand anything about myself, im here on this site i don't like seeing dick so i guess im not gay but i don't know

Hey GunMetalGrey88,

Don't feel pressured to find a pre-conceived lable or tag to stick on yourself. You are a complex individual, always growing and becoming the person you're going to be. The fun of life is the surprise of discovery you feel as you get to know yourself. The Greek philosophers said that anyone who gets to know himself, let alone trying to figure out other people, would have penetrated as much of the human mystery as anyone can expect to do.

Try to connect with as many people as you can, on a real, deep, meaningful level. The more people and experiences you come to know, the richer and fuller will be the material out of which you're building your character. Sexual identity is just one aspect of the full person. There are no "right" answers to any of life's questions... just pretty good working guesses.

You're still a young man, and all the world is before you. You seem like a pretty aware and motivated guy. I think you're going to do alright, if you give yourself the freedom to explore life as it comes to you.

All the best, buddy,

BigLittletim

[GunMetalGrey88]

thanks tim that means alot i guess your right that i'm thinking possibily obsesed with knowing what i am, my co workers help me in similar ways i guess im a nice enough person to deserve such help im greatful

[Blake]

There is some very supportive people here and it's good that people can be how they want to be and think what they want.

At 35 I am still very uncertain about myself and my feelings and sexuality too, I spent in the past every waking hour in a land of uncertainty not knowing if I'm straight or gay and even when I said to my parents 5 years ago "I think I'm Gay" I still am not convinced that I am. After my dad died last year it made me really think about how I have spent the last 35 years of my life and there have been times when I think that my life has been a complete waste, but then you have a good day and eveytihng seems a little better...But then thats what depression does to you.
I think until something happens or I make something happen I won't really know for myself what direction I want to go in and I hope I make the right decision.


Neil

[Username3]

I'm still in the closet. I gave hints, but I don't think anyone realizes it.

I want to say something, but I guess it's because I've been keeping this a secret for a very long time.

My parents have a habit of bugging. I guess that's the only thing holding me back.
I'm afraid they're start saying I want a boyfriend or something like that.

[dallasmsl]

Originally Posted by Username3

I'm still in the closet. I gave hints, but I don't think anyone realizes it.

I want to say something, but I guess it's because I've been keeping this a secret for a very long time.

My parents have a habit of bugging. I guess that's the only thing holding me back.
I'm afraid they're start saying I want a boyfriend or something like that.

You'd be surprised how many people really don't care if you're gay or not. They'll love you anyway. My oldest brother still thinks I just haven't found the right woman even though I've been in a man-2-man relationship for 8 years. I've come out to all of my straight friends a long time ago. Some cared, some didn't care for it, and some it made no difference. Bottom line, I am what I am and that's all what I am.

When you come out, the first person you should come out to is yourself. And there's no reason to place yourself into a box called gay or straight - you're already in a box called YOU. Regardless of what you are, you need to be happy or at least comfortable with yourself. Only then, can someone else be happy with you.

[kezzz]

Originally Posted by dallasmsl

When you come out, the first person you should come out to is yourself.

I totally agree with DallasMSL. Been there myself and he's right (so are many other guys that have came out) that the very first person you must come out to, and convince and realise to is yourself. AND you must love yourself first.

Loving yourself, accepting yourself as who you are (whether you think you're bi, straight, or gay or whatever), and see yourself through the eyes you want other to see you as, and respect yourself as you like others to respect you with and don't blame yourself or hate yourself or even angry at yourself before you think you're different and minority or seem out of place from others. Keep this in mind, you are who you are, there are no two of the same of you, not even with twins. Each person are unique.

Once you've accepted yourself, be confident and love yourself, so that others can learn how to love you - because you'll be happier, more confident and more relaxed with your own personality and others will see that shining out from your self-esteem.

Hope this help, I haven't say much about my coming out but I can tell you, accepting who you are is the big major step... the rest is just you - your personality. Others (even parents or family or friends) will learn that, you are you, and they should see you as who you are, not whether you're gay. IF they have lived with you, known you for years, and they can't see past the label "gay"... then they seriously have problem with themselves, not you. Because when someone have lived and known you for years and years... by now they should realised the person they like you for, is your personality, not your sexuality.

[dallasmsl]

I agree exactly! Good points.