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Old February 5th, 2008, 01:44 PM
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PART 3: Father's pinkie stronger than son's body

NOTE: Hi all! I'm posting this story but the real author is the user iplex, he's an amazing italian guy who liked the first two of this series and after we have discussed a lot of ideas via msn he wrote the part III of my stories, a really nice continuation that will be followed by part 4 soon. It was originally written in italian and translated by me into english, so if anybody wants the italian version just PM me. So here the story:

links to the previous parts:
http://www.musclegrowth.org/forum/sh...her%27s+pinkie
http://www.musclegrowth.org/forum/sh...her%27s+pinkie

FATHER'S PINKIE STRONGER THAN SON'S BODY - Part 3

Tom spent his days in absolute calm, now that he din?t have to worry about his debts, his beautiful house and his family were his only interests. Derek had built a personalized gym for their training, when father and son trained together you could see the enormous difference between them, but for Derek being so close to his dad and to who was for him the strongest man in the world was an inspiration, he wasn?t jealous but in total admiration. Derek and Tom trained everyday together, for Tom it was too easy, he hand?t found yet anything he couldn?t lift or squish, but he wanted to help his son improve his physique, knowing that Derek had worked so much to have it and he?d become huge just because of a fortunate accident.


But everyday, Tom?s curiosity regarding his brother Jeff?s letter increased. ?What could be the news my brother have for me? Maybe he switched jobs? (Jeff was a reputed manager in a big corporation), maybe a new... how can this be?


Tom decided he couldn?t wait any longer and also he was anxious to see his brother after so many years, his big back, that big brother who?d always defended him, guided him through life?s choices and saved him at very early age thanks to an organ donation.


Tom called Derek who was at the garden and when he entered the kitchen he said to Lisa and his son he had decided to go meet his brother, he wanted to show him his changes. Lisa was very happy to see Susan, Jeff?s wife, again and to be able to make a trip with her husband, despite she enjoyed being with her husband everyday, it?s been years they didn?t go somewhere else away from their farm. Derek was very happy to be able to hug again his cousin Chuck, who had been a friend all his early years before he was moved to the countryside, and be able to see what he does now, if he?d continued being this technological superbrain he?d always been, before he?d lost contact with him when he?d started his career in Ingegniery.


A week after the trip was organized, all the family decides to finally part and meet Jeff, the?d try to surprise him. Wherever Tom and Derek walked by, eyes oggled their bodies, for Derek it was very amusing to feel the people?s comments about his dad and the enormous son. He was very proud of his father and him for being big, not like his dad, but wanting to become like him. Even Lisa thought she was very proud and fortunate and she didn?t dislike the people watching. When they entered the plane, Lisa sat in between these two mountains and felt happy for having such a huge husband and a big son.

When they arrived they went to a car rent to get one of the biggest and most resistant cars they could find, so they will be comfortable with their big bodies. After a lot of searching the seller was happy the?d found a car Tom and Derek liked. Tom wanted to play a joke and easily lifted up the chosen car with a single hand and said
?Yes, this one seems resistant?
The seller exclaimed
?Oh my god, how is this possible?!?
?You can do anything you want with these arms?, Tom replied the salesman.
?Mind if I touch your strength??, the seller asked.
?Touch the real strength?, said Tom as he bent his arm and crouched so the small salesman could be able to reach his biceps.
?It?s like touching the hardest steel ever?
?Hahaha?, laughed Tom, ?you make me laugh?
?Your son seems strong too but he doesn?t play jokes?, said the salesman as he saw Derek silently lift the car with both hands, not as high as Tom could, but with a lot of arm resistance.
?Oh, my son, my blood?, Tom said with love towards his son, ?he really amazes me, he?s getting stronger everyday?, he said as he got close to his son and hugged him.
?It?s only thanks to you dad, I have the strongest man in the world as an example?
?Derek, you?re really a source of admiration, you build day after day real man?s strength?, Tom says in deep emotion.



?Since I train with my dad I must really say I feel my body more invigorated every day, I can train with twice as much weight than I could just two months ago in the gym, I?m big like a pro bodybuilder Mr Olimpya contestant, don?t know for what reason I feel stronger every time?, says Derek unable to believe his own words.
Tom hugged his son again ?I?m happy, even I don?t know what?s the reason but I?m happy you?re growing strong like your dad, because when something good happens to your dad, I hope this is something good for you as well, my son?.
?Yes, I?m happy for this?, answered Derek excited.
After asking the seller for directions to find his brother?s house and paying for the hired vehicle, Tom and the salesman sealed the deal with a handshake, Tom got a little too carried away with the grip strength of his huge hand and the crack from the seller?s hand bones could be heard all around the parking lot, Tom let go immediately and apologized, ?I?m sorry, guess I got too carried away by the conversation we?ve just had, all these emotions together?, then checked the seller?s hand, ?it?s just a squish nothing is broken, the pain will stop in a few minutes?, then he said ?bye bye? and was about to pat on the salesman?s shoulder but when he saw the look of fear in the little man?s eyes he just stopped his hand and instead waved at him, then they stepped on the car and left.


Tom was really courious about seeing his brother and what he had in store for him, and also he was anxious to show him his own surprises, which will surely be a shock. ?Let?s go to see your uncle and see what?s so surprising, and maybe we can amaze him too?, they flexed their huge biceps at the same time and laughed.
Then Tom starts the car and the journey to uncle Jeff?s house begins.

Following directions given by the car salesman they took a route in the middle of the forest, Tom drove the big vehicle through the woods when he had to stop. There was a huge log that had fallen over the road.
Luckily Tom had amazing reflexes and perfect eyesight and halted the car several feet before anything could happen.
?Oh sweet, then what are we going to do? Turn back??, Lisa asked, sitting next to her husband, as she caressed his enormous shoulder and upper arm.
Tom looked at her to his side and grinned,
?Sweety, don?t worry, these two strong men here can handle a little log like that?
?Hey, dad, let me take care?, Derek said
?Of course son, go ahead?, said Tom and smiled.
Derek got out the car and walked to the log. The thing was big, a very big old tree that had rotten and fell over the motorway, it weighed easily 5 tons. Once in front it, the young man crouched and put his hands under it, then he tried to stand, groaned heavily and you could hear the wood cracking. He kept excerting force and grunting and was able to lift the log a little but only less than two inches from the ground, then had to let go, exhausted by the tremendous effort.
?Oh, honey, why don?t you go give Derek a hand!?, Lisa suggested Tom as she ran her fingers through his enormous chest.
?Sure?, said Tom and got his immense physique out the car, he walked to his son who was going to try it a second time, but felt the heavy hand of his dad in his back.
?Let me try, buddy? said Tom in his deep masculine tone, Derek knew when to let go and moved to a side.
Tom simply crouched a little and put a single hand under the enormous log, then he effortlessly stood up carrying the log playfully in his right palm.
Derek amazed at the sight, there was a long way to go if he wanted to be as strong as his dad, he thought as Tom walked his huge body to a side of the road and easily and single-handedly got rid of the log, throwing it away with tremendous force.
Then Tom walked to the place where the log was and noticed it had left a huge dent in the road, that could damage the rented car if they tried to pass, so he just walked to the car with Lisa in it, put a hand under it and easily picked it up over his head, took it past the dent and gently put it on the ground.
Both men got in the car, ?See honey, all solved!?, Tom said to his wife as he wiped up his hands and found his place next to her.
?Oh, geez, that was fucking amazing!?, Lisa said in ecstasy, and gave Tom a kiss and run her hands all over his enormous body.
?Yeah, so bad I coudln?t handle it?, said Derek
?Oh son, you picked that up a couple inches, for what I felt in my hand that was around 5 tons, no regular man would be able to even move it, I?m very proud of you, among the regular men you must be the strongest?, Tom cheered up his son, ?let?s go now, Jeff?s house is very close?, powerful Tom said and they resumed their trip.


After roaming a little around the city looking for Jeff?s house, they arrived. Tom gets out of the car with big emotion but also very self assured, Derek contemplated the emotion in his father?s face, happy to be able to hug his brother, Lisa gave him a kiss ?Come on my big man, go ring the doorbell, don?t worry, Jeff will be happy for sure!?
?Ok, my tresure, I?ll go?, said Tom, he stood a little to watch the incredibly beautiful house Jeff had built, very big and really cosy.
As he walked, Tom thought ?you?d better ring Lisa, me and Derek are going to hide and see what happens?, both big men got hidden besides the front door.
Susan, after hearing the bell ring went to the front door and open ?Oh my god, Lisa!?, both women hugged each other with energy, ?it?s been a long time Susan, I misse you really a lot?, said Lisa, ?why is it that you?re alone, did something happen??, asked Susan.
Lisa, laughing, said ?Yes, something has happened, but something really good, men come out now!?.
Tom and Derek showed themselves, after a moment of silence Susan exclaimed
?Oh my god!, huge men! this is a whole family of huge men!? and jumped to hug Tom and salute his huge nephew.
?Oh my god, I still can?t believe how big and handsome you?re as well?.
Tom seemed doubtful and thought how was it possible that Susan didn?t seem that amazed about their bodies.
?Please come in, take a seat, you must have had a long trip?, said Susan inviting them in.
Susan couldn?t take her eyes off Tom, she couldn?t believe what had happened, how lucky this familiy was. She also marvelled at Derek?s splendor and growth but her eyes were just for Tom. Seeing this huge man and so rejuvenated, surprises weren?t finishing, Susan was happy to see this muscled family.
?You?re petrified?, said Tom
?No Tom, excuse me, I?m just a little surprise at seeing you like this, I promise you?ll also be surprised at your brother?
?Come on tell us!?, Tom demanded.
?No Tom, if I tell you it wouldn?t be the same and Jeff would get upset?, she replied.
?Oh, ok I?ll wait!?, said Tom a little disappointed.
?Dad, did you notice how big the chairs are, made out of steel and also this table looks so heavy?, said Derek.
?Yes, I see that maybe they wanted to style the house with steel, like those statues done with iron pilars and those railway beams bent over at the front-yard?, thought Tom.
?Really, a beautiful house?, answered Derek.
?Should I bring something to drink, you big men must be thirsty for sure with this heat? and Susan went into the kitchen and turned back with two beers and two cups of tea.
?Oh Tom I still can?t believe it you?re so big and handsome and very strong I guess?, said Susan.
Tom pulled out his arm, bent it and flexed his huge bicep, Susan got closer without fear and touched the huge muscle mass, caressing it softly.
?Lisa, I?m very happy for you to be this lucky?.
Lisa with her eyes full of joy said ?Yes, my husband is the strongest man in the world and my son is on his way?, as she spoke she touched her son?s arms and the hugged her husband?s huge arm.
?Sure, one of the strongest ones in the world, but there are other men who are very strong as well?, said Susan laughing.
?I doubt anywhere as strong as my Dad?, said Derek, ?I haven?t seen anything that can stop him yet?.
?Sure, he looks very strong?, said Susan.

After a little silence, Tom streched himself out and said ?But Susan, when is my brother turning back home??
?Oh, in about thirty minutes I think?
?I?m really looking forward to seeing him, I?m courious to see his surprise?.
?Don?t worry Tom when Jeff arrives you?ll both be surprised for sure?, said Susan, ?and also Chuck, the superbrain of the family, is coming this evening from the university, he?ll surprise you both too?, said Susan with her eyes full of joy.

Susan took Lisa to show her around the house, then went to the kitchen to cook lunch.

Derek said, ?Dad, I think aunt Susan is quite a beautiful woman despite being older than Lisa?, said Derek. Tom said, ?yes I think my brother and I are very fortunate to have them?.

Back at the kitchen, Lisa noticed that Susan was cooking very big meals, similar in size to those she?d started cooking after Tom?s growth and when Derek began to train with his father.
?Susan, aren?t we cooking too much, with all this food we can feed tens of people?.
?Don?t worry Lisa, big men have big food in this house, you have to know that you?re not the only lucky one, destiny has given us both the same fortune?, said Susan smiling.
?I can?t believe you, is Jeff as big as Tom??
?Yes, but don?t say anything, let?s keep it a surprise?.
?But, how did it happen??
?Jeff was watching TV at night and started feeling bad, suffered from back pain, chuck had injected him an experimental serum against pain he?d been developing, but Jeff lost consciousness for a couple of hours, and after he?d rested, he woke up very hungry, this hunger lasted more or less for a month, I was worried, but then I began noticing that he was growing bigger and bigger every day and after that he?d became a big man just like your husband, I think, dunno if they have the same strength but Jeff is also huge?.
?Impossible! The same thing has happened to Tom as well, he was struck by lightning and then the same as Jeff, so strange, that?s the reason why you weren?t that amazed, we?re very lucky women?
?That?s true Lisa, we?re probably the luckiest there are, our husbands are not just the strongest ones but the most handsome! But just keep the secret with your husband!?
?Ok, I want to see what happens too, when my son saw his father, despite he was big as well, was completely amazed, but afterwards he got really happy and now he?s growing even bigger thanks to their relationship?.
?yes, the same happened with Chuck, he couldn?t believe it and after that he?d also grown big thanks to his father?s blood and his own invention, the serum, I?m really happy with my family?,
?Me too, Susan, so much!?
?Lisa, it seems Jeff has arrived, I think I heard the garage door, let?s see now what happens?.

The front door opens, Tom stands up from the couch knowing that in seconds he will be able to hug his brother.
?Dear, I?m home?, says a deep booming voice from the hall. ?Your husband has come?.
Tom couldn?t recognize the voice, but after a second he couldn?t even recognize who was entering the door.

It was a huge body, he covered almost all the doorway, he must have been like 1,90m (6?3?) tall, almost like Tom, was also almost as big, looked just a little bit smaller, until now Tom hadn?t seen anyone even close to his size. The big man was wearing a tight black sweater covered by a very elegant jacket, smart black trousers that looked like about to burst any moment, in the dick area he could see a python hidding, his dick and balls created an enormous bulge. The waist looked like the same size as Tom?s, surely bigger than any regular man?s but in good proportion compared to his body.

His arms looked also enormous, where covered by the jacket that was stretched to maximum level, these arms looked really strong.
Tom asked himself who was this man as big as him, he focused his sight over the man?s face and despite he it was covered by a beautiful gray beard he could reconognize his brother.
?oh my god!? Tom exclaimed, ?I can?t believe it?... ?Neither do I!?, Jeff exclaimed. Tom hugged his brother with tears of job, grabbing him incredibly strong, it was a very thrilling scene.
?Hey! Don?t squish so tight, despite I?m strong too you can strangle me!?, said Jeff in a playful tone, but Tom didn?t want to let go his brother, he didn?t understand how he?d become that big, but most of all he was happy to be hugging his brother.
After Tom has let his brother go and cleaned up his years he ammired his brother from head to toe, while Jeff did the same, and both asked almost spontaneously: ?But, how did you become this big??

?Let?s get comfortable?, said Jeff, Lisa and Susan were so happy to see both brothers joining again that they too almost cried.
Jeff began to explain, ?It was night, I was in front of the TV, suddenly I?ve felt a fire in my spine and began to feel really bad, Susan quickly called Chuck who was at the garage, I was laid on the floor, couldn?t even move, and Chuck, seeing how desperate and in pain I was, injected me an experimental serum he was working with, I instantly felt better but I lost consciousness, and after a couple of hours I woke up over my bed, and I couldn?t even move, Chuck thought it was the effect of the medicine and adviced me to take rest, the following day I woke up famished, I?ve been always hungry for a month, then I began to feel well and here are the results?.
Jeff showed off his biceps but forgot to take out his jacket and the fabric tore appart giving way to the bicep. Susan heard the tearing from the kitchen and shouted ?It?s the fourth time this month Jeff! Please be careful!?, Tom and Jeff laughed madly,
Tom said ?it also happens to my, it?s difficult to contain all this?.
?And you big nephew don?t say anything to your uncle??, said Jeff joking. Derek was stiff by the surprise, two men, two brothers, the biggest men on earth, ?oh my god?, he said a second time, ?uncle, you?re really huge like my dad?, and got close to hug him, ?You too my nephew, are quite big and strong, congratulations?.

Derek bent his arm and showed his biceps to his father and his uncle, ?but this is nothing in comparison to you too, you must have equal strength I think?.
?I don?t know, I?ll take out my jacket and we?ll see?, said Jeff but it was difficult for him to take out his shirt with all those muscles, Derek helped his uncle and remained seated to see what was coming next. ?Take out your sweater too?, said Tom who had already taken out his, seeing this was really spectacular, uncle Jeff looked just about a little smaller and shorter than Tom, but surely very strong.

Derek was like a competition judge, ?double biceps?, ?back?, ?lats?, ?most muscular?, ?arm?, he was in front of the biggest and most powerful bodybuilders, he stood up and walked close to the two giants and touched their biceps, he stood in the middle and flexed his biceps as well.
?Then, who is the winner??, kids Jeff.
?mm I think my father is a little bit taller and more muscled?
?hahaha the little brother bigger than his elder, Tom have you found anything you can?t destroy with your hands?!??
?I don?t know, not yet?, replied Tom
?I thought so, me neither! But let?s wait no more, let?s try our strength, do you agree??, asks Jeff
?Sure?, replied Tom, ?let?s armwrestle, so we can see real strength against real strength?.
?Ok, I?ve always wanted to try, hopefully we?ll have the same strength?.

Tom and Jeff at their sides in front of the metallic table, seeing this men was impressive,
?1, 2, 3 goo!?, shouted Derek.
At the beginning the two arms didn?t move at all, then their biceps began to swell bigger, Derek thought these men?s nutrition had to be huge, their biceps were really enormous, much bigger than a bowling ball, then the arms began to move, it was a terrific spectacle, how much strenght could these two men be excerting at that moment was out of any calculation, and after about ten minutes Tom finally wins.
?Awesome Tom, it?s been very nice to be able to use all that strength, despite it was not max power it has been good to find something as hard as your arm?
?I was also looking forward to this moment, the true steel that is inside your arm?, said Tom and with this they flexed their pumped biceps, now looking a lot bigger, Derek touched both and they were pride of their strength, the women got out of the kitchen and saw the sweated naked torso of their huge men, they put the dishes and caressed their husband?s huge biceps and kissed them.


Chuck?s Arrival

After lunch Tom and Jeff continued to measure their strength, the two titans challenged each other to armwrestling, fought for hours in the garden and bent over huge metal beams Jeff had collected, after each inhuman effort the huge men touched their biceps, marvelling at the extent of their strength. Watching their muscles making an actual effort when they challenged each other was satisfying to them, seeing their strength growing, Derek remained amazed, admiring the excersizes of his dad and uncle without even saying a word. He watched in awe at how their muscles resisted the strength involved in their games, as if their bodies were growing with every effort, with every new level of resistance.

In the evening the men decided to take a bath in the pool, and women remained inside deciding what to cook for dinner, Derek was already playing with his dad and his uncle but it was useless to resist to these men, Jeff picked him up and thrown him up in the air to the pool, he went so hight it was as if he was jumping from the height of an olimpyc diving board; but as he was going down he saw flashing the figure of another huge man that was coming closer to the pool but when he got his head of the water he saw nobody. Derek thought it was his immagination, but suddenly he felt behind him something pressing him very tight in the back, he applied some resistance and could free himself, so he knew it couldn?t be uncle or dad cause it was no way he could?ve freed himself, he turned around and couldn?t believe his eyes, ?Oh my god! Chuck! But what a change! I can?t believe it, also mi ?super scientist? is working out at the gym, you have a very good body!?
?Wow, you too Derek, you?re handsome, look at those big arms, to say the truth Derek I?m not going to the gym, you know I?ve never been much of a sport lover?
?Nahh, are you taking roids man? Please don?t...?
?No Derek, this is not thanks to steroids, this is true strength, this is thanks to my potion?
?Your potion...?, behind the two young men the two older emerged silently and thrown both youngsters in the air at the same time, inside the pool Chuck noticed uncle Tom,
?Hey uncle you?re also a huge man, how did this happen? You don?t have my potion, how is this possible, I wanted you to come to give you the potion, to share my new discovery, but now I see that you don?t need that, oh my god! You?re really handsome and big, your arms are so hard and thick, you?re a titan like my father, please let?s get out of the pool I want to see your muscles?.

The men got out of the water, Derek noticed that the body of his cousin was smaller than his own but grown without even making any effort. It was a huge change, his cousin had also leg go his glasses, had a muscled body and an attractive face, Derek was really happy to see someone his size in the family, but the one who was really stupyfied was Chuck.
?Uncle, you?re gargantuan, I can?t believe it, my dad is also big but I can?t believe this, I?ve never seen a man like you, I thought I was the only one with the strongest dad on Earth, but Derek your father is huge like mine, uncle can I touch your muscles??
?Of course you can?, replied Tom
Chuck began to touch his uncle?s body, after having touched his huge chest, he stopped at the big biceps, ?Uncle can I touch the strength of your arms, flex your biceps for me?
?Of course Jeff, feel the power in these arms?, said Tom proud as his nephew grabbed his arms.
?Oh my god, you?re really huge, you and my dad are really strong, what a muscled family, haha!?
?I can?t stop thanking you my son, just because of you I can be this big and strong?, answered Jeff.
?Let?s go back home men, I want to explain how we got to this?, said Chuck.

Back inside the house, Chuck explain the reason of the letter and the invention of his serum:
?I was working in a medicine to relief pain in people and fix small damage to bones or muscle tissue, seeing how my dad was suffering that night, despite it was in the experimental stage I had injected it, needless to say his body changed, you can see the effects, and after having studied his changed I had also injected the serum in me, I had convinced my father to call you also uncle, because I wanted to share my discovery and give you this fortune as well, but now I can see there?s not need?.
?Chuck I don?t know how to thank you, I feel lucky already, and double fortune because I have such a considerate brother and nephew?, said Tom, got close to Chuck and gave him a hug.
?I have the serum right now, I want this discovery no to be ever revealed because it can end up in the wrong hands and what this to remain as a treasure only to our family, I want to perfect this serum just to help the world as a medicine, and non as a formula to become big and muscled, now Derek I have the serum specially prepared for you and your father, I don?t want to put it to waste so do you like me to inject it to you, what do you say cousin??
Derek hesitated but after given a little bit of a thought he said ?Not at the moment Chuck, thank you, I still have to think about it, I still want to compete in bodybuilding and if they discover I?ve taken this I will be disqualified, also with the help of my dad as a training partner I?m growing a lot by regular means, now let?s enjoy dinner, I?m hungry!?
?We too!?, answered in chorus the giants of the house.
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Old February 10th, 2008, 08:47 AM
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any opinions? is it too long?
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Old February 10th, 2008, 09:30 AM
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Mutador's New Story

I think the length is just right, for what you want to develop here - a really build up approach to all that is yet to come in subsequent additions. Very fine job, so far as I am concerned. As a former English teacher and master's candidate, I could pick some things apart, but refuse to do so, because basically you have an outstanding core story here which can only be improved by some of your own proofing and re-writing, but you are very capable of doing that yourself.

I love the direction this narrative is going. Keep up the good work begun and continuing here.
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HUNGRYHUNK HUNGRYHUNK[/FONT]Krushdahunks!
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Old February 10th, 2008, 02:27 PM
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Thanks!

But anyway, is there any story at this forum that would stand critique in terms of narrative... the only thing that matters here to me is that this story turns somebody on appart from iplex and me

So my question was more focused at if somebody really got a nice erection from this story

Anyway I'm writing all this so the post keeps up ;-)
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Old February 11th, 2008, 09:05 PM
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I love this story! I hope to see Derek eventually take the formula and see how big he can get!
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Old February 12th, 2008, 11:20 AM
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yes he will!
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Old February 14th, 2008, 02:20 PM
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PLease continue
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Old February 16th, 2008, 10:32 AM
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Great Story!

This is a great story and I cannot wait for the next part.
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Old February 17th, 2008, 07:26 AM
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one of my favorites! patiently awaiting the next part
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Old February 17th, 2008, 02:50 PM
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thanks

I am happy the history likes
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Old March 15th, 2009, 08:59 AM
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hi man have idea for continue ??? you like tom growing much?
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Old March 15th, 2009, 03:04 PM
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Instead of him growing any bigger, because I think he is the perfect size...how about him becoming a wrestler - touring cities and challenging all comers! Making millions from challengers and having sex with his fans.
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Old May 31st, 2009, 11:06 PM
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Mutador's stories are great. (i know you didn't write this piece but the style is what I keep coming back to). You should write some more. Family stuff is perfect.
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Old June 1st, 2009, 10:39 AM
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no history is also mutador, we have written together , i very happy you like
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Old July 5th, 2009, 04:09 PM
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post idea for continued story ........ i like continued have your idea
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Old July 6th, 2009, 07:27 PM
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three words: This Was Awesome!!!!!
that is all.
Cant wait for the next part!
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Old June 22nd, 2010, 03:02 PM
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any question ??

you like continue this story ????
have idea opinion for continue ????


WRITE !!!!!!!!
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Old June 22nd, 2010, 10:26 PM
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I would love for this story to continue, but as far as ideas go, I lack in the creative side. Which is why I have promised to never become a writer.
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