Size Doesn't Have to Matter: Finale (For Now)

[Londonboy]

I know what it feels like to step into a bar and have all eyes pass over you quickly, as guys determine that you are not worth talking to. And I know what it is like to have people stare at you like a hundred spotlights just turned on to welcome you into the room. Both experiences finally bring a feeling of emptiness with them. I realize that some guys don?t believe me when I tell them this, but to have a group of men stare at you just because you?re built doesn?t automatically mean they want to know the real you. Most of the time they just want to explore your body ? not your mind. A guy looks at my body and he immediately makes decisions about me, just like they do when I am in my smaller form. I can tell, just by the way a guy looks at me, if he is full of lust or full of genuine interest. Please don?t get me wrong. One of the reasons I work out is to get noticed. I can admit that, but I also want a person to have a desire to know something beyond the muscles. I don?t think that is too unfair. It is my belief that a smaller guy will attract more sincere men, while a big guy will attract more ?one night stands.? At some point in life most men will desire sincerity over what usually ends up being only two hours of pretty good sex. I know I desperately wanted to meet someone sincere, honest, and genuine. I was still placing all my bets on Mykal.

In typical gay-bar fashion, the first person to notice me as I came out of the bathroom was Mitch-the-asshole, from earlier. I?ve never seen a man puff up his chest and move across a room so quickly. Suddenly he was standing right in front of me as I zipped up my backpack. I noticed that most of the guys around us were also looking at me, most of them mad that Mitch got there first.

?You look like you could use a drink. Can Mitch, here, buy you one,? was the asshole?s come-on line. He made me sick to my stomach. I did not usually approve of rudeness, but since Mitch needed to be taught a lesson (if that were possible), I allowed a little meanness to shine through.

I dropped by backpack to the floor, reached up, and placed my big hands around Mitch?s solid upper arms. Even though he had a nice body my large hands could grab around his arms with room to spare. I squeezed tight, noticing that Mitch winced, and pressed in. I easily lifted Mitch off the ground and moved his body from in front of me to the side. The group that was gathered around us became silent as they watched my show of strength. After placing Mitch back on the ground I leaned down and placed my face right in front of his.

?Can you tell me what I did that made you think I would allow you to buy me a drink? Because I?ll make sure I stop doing it right away. Get lost little man,? was all I said and it felt good. I hated being cruel to people, but Mitch deserved it. I reached down, grabbed my backpack, and walked away. I could tell most of the crowd had decided not to even try and talk to me because everyone seemed to move out of my way as I walked toward the front room and the bar. I heard a couple of guys say they were happy that someone finally put Mitch in his place. I certainly didn?t want to encourage bad behavior from anyone, but I did want my smaller self to be justified.

As I neared where Mykal was seated at the bar I could see that he had turned around and was talking to the bartender. He had not noticed my little display in the other room and did not even know I was there. I placed my backpack against the wall underneath a table and walked up behind Mykal. The bartender noticed me, how could he not, and stopped in mid-sentence. His mouth just stayed wide open. I knew I needed to move fast.

?Excuse me, is this seat taken?? I asked Mykal, making it obvious by what side I was standing on that I meant the stool he was saving for me. Mykal noticed the bartender?s face at the same time he heard my question. He turned to look at me as he answered.

?I?m sorry it is?? Mykal began saying, but when he saw me his voice trailed off. I recognized in his eyes the same look that many guys get the first time they see me. It is a look full of lust and greed. My heart sank as I noticed this desire in Mykal?s eyes. I must have misjudged him. I was immediately very sad, but then something miraculous happened; the look disappeared as quickly as it had come. I knew the next thing out of Mykal?s mouth would forever cement our fate as friends or whatever we were to become. ?Yes. I?m saving it for a friend. He should be right back. I?m sorry. I think the next one is available, though.?

I?m a big strong guy and believe me when I tell you I can do things most guys only dream of doing, but his reply made me go weak at the knees like I was some love-sick school girl. No offense to women intended, but I became like an elementary school girl (or gay boy) seeing her favorite boy-band idol for the first time in person. I quickly placed my hand on the empty stool Mykal had motioned to because I needed something to help me stand up. Mykal was saving the stool for the smaller version of me ? even when the big muscular me wanted to sit there. I slid onto the stool and watched Mykal turn back to the bartender to resume their conversation. This was unbelievable. I knew my real body was Mykal?s type - we had established that earlier - but he wanted to finish his conversation with the bartender before starting a conversation with me. He was so thoughtful. Not to mention the fact that he wouldn?t give up the stool.

?You were saying,? Mykal said to the bartender who was still staring at me with his mouth wide open.

Somehow the bartender registered that Mykal had said something to him and replied, ?Who the fuck knows what I was saying.? He then focused on me and asked, ?Can I get you something to drink?? Now it was my time to have a little fun. I ordered the Portuguese wine that Mykal was drinking. This caused Mykal to turn and smile at me.

?Good choice,? Mykal said and then added, ?I?m having it, too.?

?Like minds, I guess.? I replied, smiling at him. ?And bodies.? This last part made Mykal look up at me. ?Sorry if that was too forwarded. I just meant to say that you have a nice body.?

?Thanks. That?s really a nice thing for you to say since I really don?t hold a candle to yours. Have we met before, you seem very familiar,? Mykal said looking at me intently.

?I don?t think so, but maybe,? I answered quickly.

?Well, I?m Mykal,? he said leaning over to shake my hand. I grabbed his hand and shook firmly. I could tell he liked that.

?My name is Simon.? I said bluntly.

?No way!? Mykal said with a surprised look on his face.

?Why?s that?? I asked.

?The guy I?m saving the seat for is named Simon, as well.? He said laughing a little.

?No kidding. Where is he? Are you sure he?s coming back? Maybe I could go ahead and take his place.? I was tempting fate and I knew it.

?No,? Mykal said quickly and then added, ?I?m sorry. It?s just that I want to make sure he knows I saved it for him. He?ll be back soon. He just stepped into the bathroom.?

?Is he your boyfriend?? I asked, taking a sip of the wine.

?No, just a friend,? Mykal said too quickly, but I wasn?t offended. I knew what Mykal liked. And then after a pause he added, ?But I think he?ll become a really good friend, you know. I think there are people in the world that are placed in your life to teach you things and to help you be a better person. I know that sounds strange, but the other Simon seems to ?get me? on so many levels.? Mykal looked towards the back part of the bar. ?I wonder what could be taking him so long. Maybe I should go check on him.? Mykal took a sip of his wine and then started to get up.

?No, don?t,? I said too fast, because it caused Mykal to look at me. ?I?m sure he?s fine. He?ll be back soon. I don?t think he?d want you checking up on him like his parent or something.?

?I guess you?re right,? Mykal said sitting back down. ?It is really strange that I?ve met two guys named Simon on the same night.? I decided right then and there that Mykal had incredible integrity and he deserved to know me completely. I knew I was taking a risk, but I didn?t care. I needed Mykal to know the real me.

?What if I said you didn?t?? I asked carefully.

?What?s that,? Mykal asked, only half hearing what I said. He was busy looking out for the other Simon.

?What if I told you that you?ve only met one Simon tonight.? I knew the next few minutes were crucial to our friendship and to his sanity.

?Well, I?d say you?re a little off, man. No offense. But you weren?t here when the other Simon was and it?s not like you could be the same guy. The other Simon is really cute, but he?s about a third of your size.? Mykal was laughing and continued to look for the other Simon. I believe I was starting to make him uncomfortable.

?Mykal, I know we just met, but please listen to me carefully,? I said it softly, but Mykal heard me clearly. There was something in my voice that grabbed his attention. He turned to look me directly in the eyes. ?I know the other Simon. I know him very well.? Mykal?s eyes began to widen. ?Now don?t freak out, Mykal. Stay with me, okay. I?m Simon. Simon from earlier in the evening.? Mykal?s body straightened up as stiff as a board and he leaned away from me. I placed my large hand on his arm that was resting on the bar. He glanced down at my big hand and then back to my face. ?I told you earlier I wanted you to get to know the real me. I told you that no one has spoken to me in the five weeks that I have been coming to this bar and that tonight you renewed my faith in the human race. I told you that you gave bodybuilders and handsome men a good name. I then told you I had to go to the bathroom to freshen up. Remember, Mykal. Do I have it right??

Suddenly there was a light of recognition in Mykal?s face. ?This is a hidden camera show, right?? He asked as he looked around the bar. ?Where are the cameras? You guys really got me. I was starting to believe you were Simon.? I didn?t say a word and just held on to his arm tightly. I didn?t want him to move away. When I didn?t speak for a few seconds he slowly turned his face back to mine. ?You aren?t kidding are you? This isn?t a game show??

?No,? I replied.

?Tell me something else from earlier so I know it?s real,? He said quickly. I knew he was beginning to come around.

?Why do you think I ordered this wine? I know you read Colm Toibin,? I rattled these off and Mykal?s eyes grew bigger. ?I also know that you like guys that are bigger than you. I know you want to feel protected and taken care of ? even though you?re a big guy.? Mykal?s face was now turning white. ?I also know that what turns you on the most is a guy who can take a good gut punching and not flinch.? Mykal had completely stopped breathing. Suddenly his face turned a little red.

?I can?t believe he told you all those things. Where did you speak to him? In the bathroom? Those were supposed to be secrets between the two of us,? Mykal said angrily, but I could tell there wasn?t much force behind his words. He was still struggling to comprehend what was going on.

?He didn?t tell me those things, Mykal. You did,? I said squeezing his arm a little tighter. I wanted to get his attention. I could tell my grip caused him a little pain. ?You told me those things earlier tonight. I couldn?t share my secret with you until I knew you were sincere in your friendship. We both are so tired of having guys like us for the outside and not for what?s on the inside.? I let go of his arm before I really did hurt him. He didn?t move it, though. I could tell he wanted me to still touch him ? to prove all of this was really happening. ?You talked to me even though I was the little Simon, Mykal. You took the time to get to know me. You also allowed yourself to share a part of you with me. A few years ago I figured out how to hide most of this massive body so I could meet people on a real level. I could help them get to know the real me before they got to see the body.?

?But how is that possible?? Mykal was trying hard to get his mind around this.

?That?s not important right now. I?ll show you later. I really just want to make sure you know it?s really me.? As I said this, a tear formed in my eye and began to roll down my cheek.

?I do know, Simon,? Mykal said as he took his arm from beneath mine and grabbed my hand. He stopped for a moment when he realized how big mine was compared to his. We both laughed slightly. ?I think I knew on some level as soon as I saw you, but we tend to not trust our instincts.?

?I trusted mine with you, Mykal,? I said quickly. ?I knew that if you truly saved my seat, no matter who you met, you could handle the true me. I knew you deserved the true me.?

Mykal leaned in and pressed his lips firmly against mine. I swear I heard a collective sigh from the men in the bar. I know I also heard bells ringing and angels singing. Mykal pulled his face back.

?I like the true you,? Mykal said leaving his face close to mine. ?I liked the smaller version, but I really like the larger model. Tell me, Simon, you don?t happen to have abs of steel do you??

?Not only can they withstand punches from you, I think you might enjoy splintering wooden bats against them, as well,? I said, before I leaned back in and kissed him.

Mykal pulled back and asked, ?And will you sometimes go back to the smaller Simon so I can be the bigger guy? I want to be the big guy sometimes.?

?Whatever you want, sir, whatever you want,? I said obediently and then added, ?Remember, when it?s a love as good as this one seems to be, size doesn?t have to matter.?

[arpeejay]

Really fast, really sexy, really sweet.

xoxo

Richard

who looks forward to reading more about Simon and Mykal at some other point...

[growinmuscl]

agreed arpeejay!

[cesarvillavi]

Awwwwww!!! So sweet story. It should definetly be continued.

I really liked this story a lot. IT IS GREAT!!! Hhehe great story. I really liked the topic hehe, having a little big guy in a deep sensual relationship.

[ts1976]

Yay! This has got to be one of my favourites!

[sierraca]

A short story but very to-the-point. I feel I have a good grasp of Simon's point of view. Now, if only I could meet someone just like him (and Mykal).

[DonnieJvilleNC]

What a short, yet wonderful story. I absolutely loved it. Thanks for sharing it with us, Londonboy.

[tremorwolf]

if only it were true

[msclundylvr]

Londonboy, you've done it again. First of all, that's a brand new premise for growth and shrinking as far as I can tell. Second of all, you summed up so many of the insecurities of both sides of the tale. Third of all, you brought the insecurities together and made them complimentary to the romance plot. Bravo. My hat comes off to you!

[ARCHEON]

Originally Posted by tremorwolf

if only it were true

If only, indeed. <sigh>

[Londonboy]

A big thanks to all who enjoyed Mykal and Simon. From the sound of it, they will have to return. I'm just glad I actually can finish a story. I need to bring closure to others, but, alas, I have something brewing on the computer that I hope to post tonight. A different kind of story from this one, I'm afraid. Can you tell I've been homebound for a few days - writing prevented me from getting cabin fever. Thanks, again, for the words of affirmation.

[abbraxis]

Awwwwwwww...

What a great change of pace from the big, vindictive, arrogant, pompous muscle growers we have here. Don't get me wrong, I like them too... but this was such a sweet little gem I just HAD to comment.

Shame this installment ended so soon. I REALLY look forward to what you write next.

I say they bag the rest of the play and explore... who's with me?

[Bigmusclefan]

thanks very much Londonboy - that was a wonderful story and I would love to hear more of Mykal and Simon - a great love story!!!

[Greenlight]

Awesome story. I hope there will be a sequel to this really wonderful story. Thank you Londonboy for sharing this.

[Blake]

Originally Posted by msclundylvr

Londonboy, you've done it again. .......!

I have to wholeheartedly agree, your pace of story telling is perfect, in my opinion, keep it going