Am I gay?

[dascooby]

This is kinda personal.

I was wondering, am i gay?

What is the usual age you find out? I turn 14 in july.

I like the idea of muscle growth and kids my age having HUGE muscles, but when it comes to sex etc. i feel uncomfortable.

When I think of having a girlfriend, I get all excited, but I dont know if thats "me" thinking or just the impression i'd have on my friends.

Tell me what you think.

Thanks xD

[nj.]

Well, that's kinda hard to tell based on that little info! We can't look inside your head.

Whatever you feel: don't fool yourself, or be dishonest to yourself. Whatever you tell other people is your own choice, but you need to feel comfortable in your own body and lying to yourself is never going to do any harm.

Now, it can take a few years to figure out what you're really attracted to (more than a few, even). Don't force yourself into either straight, gay or bi just because you want to define yourself as something.

What do you get off on, if I may ask?

[GunMetalGrey88]

yeah man im 19, and a virgin, i don;t know anything about myself expirement and discover is all i can say

[hecad84]

You don't have to be having sex in order to determine your orientation. I realized I was gay in high school, when it dawned on me that I was much more interested in checking out the jocks than the cheerleaders, and when I realized that "Muscle & Fitness" was my kind of porn and not "Playboy". Nonetheless, it wouldn't be until age 26 that I had my first physical experience, but nonetheless, I knew which way I swung well before that.

[chocomus]

Mmmm, hard to tell without having tried.
I think I am, because i jerk off to muscle guys with big cocks, but for me the ass (mine or from others) is just a.... "output hole", just for exit things. Not made for enter anything. So sex... who knows. I haven't tried myself yet.

I think until you really tried, while you're not sure you can consider yourself bisexual. Myself, i like looking at beautyfull women, but they don't excite me (nor excite that lower region from me, lol) I can apriciate beauty without being turned on, like I apriciate looking at cute kittens or i apriciate a chocolate icecream.

Looking at diferent kind of porn (the net is full of it) and seeing your cock reactions can show you your tastes. I guess.

[Esperanto Lives]

Wow, this really takes me back.

In High School health class, we had an instructor question box, that anyone could insert pieces of paper anonymously to ask things they wouldn't be comfortable saying aloud. Every day, at the beginning, the teacher would read the questions left in the box to the whole class.

And ALWAYS, without fail, the question on the piece of paper would be some kind of anecdote, followed by the inevitable "...so, does this make me gay?"

Our eternally mature teacher's usual response was, "not necessarily, lots of boys have feelings like that."

Just once, though, I'd love for him to have answered with "Well, Eugene, I'd like to say no here...but unfortunately, watching HERCULES AGAINST THE MOLE MEN, even once, does in fact, turn you gay forever."

[Aikuchi]

---
To be honest, I think in the end (wether now or much later in life), only you will know to which gender you would rather have a meaningful romantic relationship with.

I mean that in a way- that when you're young and wanting to performing pleasurable sex to either or both genders; it may seem to determine your natural orientation.
But I believe, physical acts should be what they are. Physical acts, then you take pleasure in.

But if you believe you derive more from the act from an emotional level (which you could be unsure of for years but thats probably true for most of us) - that the relationship you choose to have is with a man or/and a woman, then maybe you'll begin to know for yourself if you're gay or not.



--- (much hugs and love)

[Slevin]

The politics of gender orientation aside it really is something that you have to decide for yourself.

Muscles = Masculinity, in our society. However it seems to stop there. The determination, discipline, strength of will it takes to build a body like you admire are all traits that could be admired in either sex.

You really have to set everyone's opinions aside and think about what turns you on. As your thinking about this try to remember that sexual orientation is not Gay or Straight. Think of it more as a line and you are somewhere on that line. (See: Alfred Kinsey).

Whatever conclusion you come to there is no reason to be embarrassed. It may be that at this point in your life you feel like you are closer to heterosexuality. That may change in a few years, or it may not. It's journey and life would never be fun if we were always in the same place.

[arpeejay]

Slevin has nailed it on the head, although I'd use "figure out" instead of "decide." I don't think you get to "decide" what your orientation is but you do decide whether to figure it out and what it all means.

Which is why these conversations inevitably get back to personal experience, all of which come under the heading of "trying to figure it out, what other people have done while..." Slevin's point about taking the time to "think about what turns you on" is really key. If (male) muscles get you hard and get you off, then, yeah, you're probably into guys. But there are plenty of guys who are into muscle, up to and including get off on their OWN muscles, who aren't gay.

Good luck with your figuring it out process!

All the best...

Richard

[Username3]

I found out when I was around 11.

I'm not sure, but if you like both genders then it could be possible you're a bisexual

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by chocomus

Mmmm, hard to tell without having tried.
I think I am, because i jerk off to muscle guys with big cocks, but for me the ass (mine or from others) is just a.... "output hole", just for exit things. Not made for enter anything. So sex... who knows. I haven't tried myself yet.

Not every gay man is into anal sex. I for sure am not. I much prefer masturbating and ejaculating together or frotting (rubbing and humping) and then cumming, and oral sex (I prefer giving).

So if you're not into ass, that's perfectly OK. You can still be gay.

[mann007]

I coulnd't agree more (and now you made me horny...)

[FUTUREFREAK]

Hey Bro!

Futurefreak here.
Being gay is something your born with, but like most sexual identity issues, it usually surfaces right about your age. Many people who later idendtify themselves as gay, first go through a period of curiousity, or making sure, so to speak that indeed they are gay. Usually, when you are curious about being gay and attracted to big muscle guys, you are gay. To that, let me say, that there is absolutly nothing wrong with being gay, and more importantly, its not something you can change, or should worry about. All you should worry about is getting to that gym and pumpin' up big and huge and living the best life you can and being happy! At 14, if your gay, no biggie, your focus should be your bodybuilding and your schooling. You shouldn't be enganging in sex with anybody else at such a young age. I was a virgin until nearly twenty years old, and I can tell you, that sex for anyone ,especially the first time is a big deal and should be planned and at least done with someone you know, trust and care about.
Also, some people find out that they are bisexual. This means, you are attracted, at least in part, to both sexes, but this does not necessarily mean equally. Many men get married and then cheat on their wives with other men, because they prefer men. Some are in the middle, and then the bright side is, you have alot of people to choose from for potential mates. Whatever you find you are, remember that your sexuality is just one tiny little part of you and everything else you are and offer to the world is more important. Believe it or not, many hetereosexuals go through a phase were they think they are gay, and then when they get older, are certain they aren't.. If some attraction exists for you to men and your curious, do not be ashamed. One out of every three men these days is gay and 1 in every 10 is bisexual. The most important thing though, that I want to stress, is that its absolutly fine to be gay. Your no less of a man than anyone else. The brotherhood of muscle, embraces any hardcore masculine man into getting freaky huge. We can overlook other differences. I wish you all the best. Feel free to ask me anything about this or training bro.

Futurefreak

[Stoneman]

1 out of 3 men is gay? That is highly highly dubious.

[FUTUREFREAK]

The scientific study "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" by Indiana University researchers Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin reported that 37% of males had homosexual experiences, but this figure includes incidental homosexual experience. The study reported 10% of males being more or less exclusively homosexual.

Subsequent studies such as "The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior" by researchers Samuel S. Janus and Cynthia L. Janus & "Homosexuality / Heterosexuality" by researchers David P. McWhirter, Stephanie A. Sanders, and June Machover Reinisch reported the exclusively homosexual male population to be 9% & 13.95% respectively, which supports the Indiana University findings of 10%, or 1 in 10.

However, this number is most likely quite a bit higher, perhaps as high as 1 in every three men, when taking into account adjustments based on those in the closet.

[monstermusclebe]

Kinsey:
Sexual orientation

Probably the most widely cited part of the Kinsey Reports regard the prevalence of different sexual orientations ? especially to support a claim that 10% of the population is gay. In fact, the findings are not so straightforward, and Kinsey himself avoided and disapproved of using terms like homosexual or heterosexual to describe individuals, asserting that sexuality is prone to change over time, and that sexual behavior can be understood both as physical contact as well as purely psychological phenomena (desire, sexual attraction, fantasy).[citation needed] Instead of three categories (heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual), a seven-category system was used. The Kinsey scale ranked sexual behavior from 0 to 6, with 0 being completely heterosexual and 6 completely homosexual. A 0 was considered to be strictly heterosexual, a 1 mostly heterosexual, a 2 more than incidentally heterosexual, a 3 equally homosexual and heterosexual, a 4 more than incidentally homosexual, and so on. An additional category 7 was created by his colleagues for asexuals, those who experienced no sexual desire.
The reports also state that nearly 46% of the male subjects had "reacted" sexually to persons of both sexes in the course of their adult lives, and 37% had at least one homosexual experience.[5] 11.6% of white males (ages 20-35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) throughout their adult lives.[6] The study also reported that 10% of American males surveyed were "more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55" (in the 5 to 6 range).[7]
7% of single females (ages 20-35) and 4% of previously married females (ages 20-35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) on the 7-point Kinsey Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale for this period of their lives.[8] 2 to 6% of females, aged 20-35, were more or less exclusively homosexual in experience/response,[9] and 1 to 3% of unmarried females aged 20-35 were exclusively homosexual in experience/response.[10]


[COLOR=White]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_Reports[/COLOR]

[Stoneman]

Okay, yes, sure we all know about Kinsey and all that, but even so, I cannot really agree with the idea that 33% of men are gay. One homosexual experience does not a homosexual make.

[TheMM]

Originally Posted by Stoneman

Okay, yes, sure we all know about Kinsey and all that, but even so, I cannot really agree with the idea that 33% of men are gay. One homosexual experience does not a homosexual make.

Amen on that one. If there 33% of men out there who are truly gay, closeted or otherwise,

Though that "one homosexual experience" usually falls under one of three things

Prison
Drunkenness (and subsequent "consequences" of said state)
Military service

[Slevin]

It's that one homosexual experience that keep's people away from being a perfect 0 on Kinsey's scale. Very few people are exclusively homosexual or heterosexual and that is the point he tried to make.

[bigbearny]

I didn't admit to myself that i was gay until i was around 23.. i've still never had sex of any sort. High School was very rough for me (i didn't fit in and wasn't into the normal "Guy" things.. I hated (and still do dislike) sports, i took home ec' instead of Shop, and i had girls that i was friendly with but never on a "girlfriend" level..) I was painfully shy and quite reclusive in school.. i'm still surprised when people remember me and i don't remember them at all. Still about that time i found my like for muscle men (yes Muscle mags were my porn and still are). So as everyone else said... it's a very personal thing and may take a while to figure out.. as you said girls/women turn you on.. something that never happened for me

[Garfield11]

I'm 28, agree with those who say while muscles and muscle growth turns me on the thought of anal intercourse does'nt. I'm 28 and still a virgin and I can say theres nothing more annoying than people asking if your gay because you have'nt had sex yet.

Before we all get blinded by science from the academic studies on human behaviour can I respond with this quote.

"THERE ARE LIES, DAMN LIES AND STATISTICS!"

In short being into muscles and or muscle growth does'nt automatically mean your gay its just a possible indicator of that or it could be an indication of many other things i.e. a lack of self confidence. If it bothers you that much find a councellor or if you feel brave/confident enough talk to a recognised gay charity who may be able to offer more practicle advice. Failing that talk to your doctor (I stress that being gay is not an illness but your doctor is bound by oath not to tell anyone and could offer guildance or refer you to someone who can help you answer that question).

[Mdlftr]

Originally Posted by Garfield11

I'm 28, agree with those who say while muscles and muscle growth turns me on the thought of anal intercourse does'nt. I'm 28 and still a virgin and I can say theres nothing more annoying than people asking if your gay because you have'nt had sex yet.

Before we all get blinded by science from the academic studies on human behaviour can I respond with this quote.

"THERE ARE LIES, DAMN LIES AND STATISTICS!"

In short being into muscles and or muscle growth does'nt automatically mean your gay its just a possible indicator of that or it could be an indication of many other things i.e. a lack of self confidence. If it bothers you that much find a councellor or if you feel brave/confident enough talk to a recognised gay charity who may be able to offer more practicle advice. Failing that talk to your doctor (I stress that being gay is not an illness but your doctor is bound by oath not to tell anyone and could offer guildance or refer you to someone who can help you answer that question).

Garfield,

AMEN! The current rush to label oneself and others as "gay/straight/tranny/bi" etc. is part of the current trend to try and classify everyone's sexual orientation.

I personally see this as a step along the path where an issue is first denied ("Gay people? There are no such things as gay people!" [Iran, 2007]) then brought to public consciousness (Stonewall Riots, NYC, 1969) then identified with a time ("Swinging 70's", Disco, Village People, NY night scene, etc.) then further brought to public consciousness (AIDS epidemic, Reagan administration finally acknowledging the existence of AIDS and >gasp!< "gay people" in the mid 1980s) and further brought into the mainstream by having public figures associated with the issue (Rock Hudson and Liberace, Lance Bass of the boy band, Martina Navratilova (tennis) kd lang, etc. etc.)

More recently we've had politicians (ex-Gov. of New Jersey, "I am a gay American", Barney Frank, the guy in the bathroom stall...etc.)

Bottom line, this is part of an evolution of an issue. Soon, it really won't matter "what" you are. It'll just be part of the mosaic of America.

One more thing:

Guys are horndogs in general. We can get boned up over just about anything or for no reason. I wouldn't worry that it "signifiies" anything.

Mdlftr

[elysiumfields]

Hi Dascooby.

You are a young man going through adolescance,the time when all us guys are becoming wise to the world and how it works, and opening new avenues of sexual discovery.. Let yourself be the guide to what attracts you both physically and sexually in privacy,and away from what you feel may be negative attitudes such as homophobic views from other people that may make your mind up for you,[ie you agree or disagree with them]. Don't let people [ie your buddies/dad/brother? etc] push you into a relationship with girls if you don't feel right about it either.Thats your decision.
Some teenagers,in the right supportive environment,settle in to the realisation that they are gay or straight quicker than others. Others that live in a more hostile environment,whether it will be from family or freinds,or people you know,may just shrink inside themselves and wait a little longer for the freedom of sexuality.
Discover your inner self [i'm starting to sound like some hippie so forgive me!].

If you get an erection and feel a sexual arousal and/or have a wank over fantasies of one gender more than the other frequently,then surprisingly that could lead you to finally discover if you are straight or gay. Don't rush into any decisions. You are your own boss.If you have feelings for someone [which can be a sign or sexual orientation,although attractions can change] and they have feelings for you,develop a relationship gradually and comfortably and when the time comes when you both feel its right for sexual intimacy. You may have the spur of the moment thing,when you are half pissed [half drunk] at some party and end up making out with a girl that might lead to you finally realising yor sexuality. I'm well aware of what American Frat boys are like...! [I'm gay,and most of my fantasies are of ''frat boys''..!]

As for an attraction to muscle and muscle growth. In my eyes,muscles define masculinity,strength of the male form and visual physical perfection.Many an artist and sculptor leant on the muscular male form as perfection of the attributes i just mentioned.Some even had sexual gratification from it,mainly because they were homosexual [though in those past times,strictly private]..Caravaggio.Michelangelo [who sculpted David from a youth who may have been his lover].

Exaggerating muscle size through artistic means i suppose,is a form of hyper-masculinity and placing men in a more dominant role. For most morphers amd writers here,including myself,admittedly it is a sign of sexual release of fantasies where we can share with others of like-minded attraction.Some other members are straight and find muscle growth physically pleasing.

Unfortunately [for me] muscle growth in women just takes away their femininity and beauty and is just gross out.

================================================== =====================

A little about me,and then i'll shut up.

I'm gay.I began to realise my homosexual leanings around the same age as you are now,maybe even a little younger..I kept my feelings private until i was sure.When i finally realised i was gay,around 16,i began to explore privately through gay porn and drawing homo-erotic drawings,which led to my sexual attraction to muscular young men and rapidly,exaggerating their muscles and genitals into fantasy which 'got me off'.
My parents and brother soon got an inkling to my sexuality,but i denied it for a long while until my dad and i had a good long talk. Though my parents did'nt agree with my homosexuality,they tolerated it and would not treat me any less as a son.My brother still finds it a little awkward but 'says' he's ok with it.
Today,my relationship with my parents and brother is great,especially with my dad,who i am close,regardless of my homosexuality.The one draw back,is that away from my family, i maintain a straight man role [in the closet in otherwords] around workmates after having learned a lesson of being far too open with my homosexuality with so called freinds in my previous place of work and experiencing homophobia from certain guys [surprisingly,a 17 year old boy with a reputation of being a thug in the neighbourhood where we both lived] .

Despite this, i am currently happy with myself.I'm loving life.

===================

So, to end it all. Take your time to figure out YOU. Take the path YOU feel comfortable with.Don't take no shit from anyone,but at the same time,choose what and when you want to keep things known to you private...and look carefully at who you can trust and confide in.

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG. I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP WITH SOME ADVICE.HOPE ITS GOOD.!

[bigbearny]

wow where was this board back when i was in highschool and denying to myself that i was gay.. ok well the internet was a bit anemic back then but it would've been nice

[arpeejay]

I am gay for Elysiumfields' avatar!

Just thought I should point that out...

xoxo

Richard

[DancingFish]

Originally Posted by dascooby

This is kinda personal.

I was wondering, am i gay?

What is the usual age you find out? I turn 14 in july.

I like the idea of muscle growth and kids my age having HUGE muscles, but when it comes to sex etc. i feel uncomfortable.

When I think of having a girlfriend, I get all excited, but I dont know if thats "me" thinking or just the impression i'd have on my friends.

Tell me what you think.

Thanks xD

It's good that you are thinking about these things, but I wouldn't over think it either. You seem to want a girlfriend and from the sounds of it, and there is no reason to down play that. You're 14 and still coming into your skin persay. Of course, no one can here can tell you if you're gay or not, but you. Some people never know if they are gay or not, some because they can't determine and others because it doesn't matter to them. Things aren't as black and white (cut and dry) as both the gay community and the straight community (that's pretty amusing to type) sometimes hope it would be. There is a lot of gray area in it and a lot more to human sexuality than we think.

So no need to try to squeeze yourself into a category yet, just enjoy living and experiencing life for right now. Eventually in time the answer may come to you.

[tom256]

I wouldnt say I am gay. I have a good girlfriend, she knows I go on this site, and she does not mind whatsoever. But here is a fact though, 40% of men do not realise they are gay until they are in their mid-thirties.
I am straight, i like male muscle, but it doesnt get me aroused or gives me a hardon etc

[GunMetalGrey88]

me im 20 still don't know im experimenting now and so far im still unsure

[PROZAC]

oh man...
that a 14yr old has access zo this side. should not be possible.

greetz!
PROZAC

[Aarrow]

Originally Posted by Garfield11

I'm 28, agree with those who say while muscles and muscle growth turns me on the thought of anal intercourse does'nt. I'm 28 and still a virgin and I can say theres nothing more annoying than people asking if your gay because you have'nt had sex yet.

I'm 23 and have known that I am gay (or at least mostly so) since I was 13. I'm slightly relieved to know that at least I am not the only 20-something year-old virgin here.

[PROZAC]

hey, when ur not...
come to me... i make u gay or at least bi.. hrhhrrhr...

[hecad84]

I am 33, did not do anything physical with another guy until age 26, and still have not had anal sex. Anal just is of no interest to me. But that doesn't mean that I don't know that I'm gay. You don't have to be having sex to be gay. To my way of thinking, gay is just something that you are. Having sex doesn't make you gay or straight.