Left Behind part 2

[chimewolf]

Here's part 1 link: http://www.musclegrowth.org/forum/sh...ad.php?t=16392
Ok, here is part 2.
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[COLOR=white]Now if this giant Adonis would have asked me I would have gone willingly. What happened next was practically something out of an erotic fiction novel. Now I should tell you I?ve been fantasizing about this happening since my old room mate became a huge muscle sex addict. I?ll never forget what my captor did, for it was my first time.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=white]I was at the library doing research for my biology class. Trey, the giant library assistant, bear hugs me muffling my voice by stuffing my head in his bare air conditioner sized pecs. My arms pinned to my sides he started running or what I thought was running with his height he could have been just speed walking. When I could finally see something besides Trey?s enormous chest we were in a bed room and I got thrown on to the bed like a kid?s plush toy. Trey quickly locked and barricaded the door. I couldn?t escape, if I wanted to anyway. After he made sure I couldn?t escape he came over to the bed and if I remember right he said, ?I?ve all ways wanted you.? And with his voice coupled with his new mass I almost came right there. Trey crawled on to the bed with a loud protest of the mattress springs. He crawled right over me straddling over my smaller frame. His hansom face came closer and closer to mine, our lips press together in the best kiss of my life. With his size, I did not put up any resistance for my own safety. I did not want to piss of someone who could snap me like a twig. When the kiss finally broke I started to feel up his giant muscular body starting with his shoulders. He sat up into a monolithic stature, perfect for a muscle worship session. ?Ever since we first met I?ve been wanting to ask you out? Trey said and then flexed his pecs while performing a double bicep pose, just as my hands began exploring its striated depths. I could feel the room heating up just from his body heat. ?but I was too small and weak.? He continued, and then moaned as his bulge, growing bigger, in his tight cotton shorts. I was working my way down his deep cut abs. As I got closer and closer to his basket it seemed to grow bigger and bigger. He moaned and grabbed me in another bear hug this time face to face. My own cock straining, against my own pants, was nestled in the crevices between his abs cut boulders. I looked into his emerald green eyes and cute face, framed by his long brown hair. ?Just to have you this close to me, all I want to do?? I heard tearing fabric and something huge and burning hot came between my legs. It was thicker than a 3 litter water bottle and it felt longer than my body was thick. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=white]Trey moaned loudly again and dropped me into the pre his massive member was gushing out all over the bed. ?I can?t contain my feelings any more!? Trey yelled and ripped my pants off me, he was planning to fuck me with his giant cock. I couldn?t contain it any longer when I saw his meat, I shot my load all over his pole. Seeing that I came, Trey yelled a lust filled roar and came in a torrent of muscle cum all over me. It covered every thing, some of it even got in my mouth and I swallowed some of it by the force propelled. By the time Trey was finished cumming the room had to have been at least ankle deep in his muscle man juice, his ankle not mine. He laid down on top of me, forgetting his massive weight. ?I love you,? he said and kissed me once more putting his full weight into it. There was a wet crunch, I screamed in pain! The room went dark as I lost consciousness.[/COLOR]
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There you go for the juicy part 2.
What will part 3 bring?
you'll have to wait to find out. Constructive crits and comments are allways execpted.
-CW

[Ender]

I agree with TheMM the parts are a bit too "short and sweet" in my opinion...

There's a scene in the movie "The Sixth Sense" when the Bruce Willis character is trying to tell the "Kid, that sees dead people," a "bedtime" story and failing badly... Well your story has the same sort problem that Bruce Willis's story had. As the Kid put it you need to put some twists and turns in it... Stuff that could carry the story into additional directions whether are not you actually plan the explore those paths later...

Maybe some addition dialog leading into the Trey's grabbing the narrator sort a verbal foreplay, Or the narrator trying to talk is way out of the abduction or trying to escape...

It's just a thought...

Ender

[muscl4life]

I particularly like this kind of narration, you must be free to explore your own fantasies, without the need to follow any pre-established format. Although people only meant to help you by giving constructive feedback, I still think you can do wonders within this same structure you've presented so far, in fact, it might be a breakthrough for us writers.

So, do as you judge fit, just bear in your mind that you have pleased readers in this forum as well.

Cheers

[chimewolf]

I'm probably just going to rewrite the whole thing so far. lots of improvements to be made! as well as some better details.

I was just so excited that I had a story I wanted to submit, I guess I put it up just a bit early.
This story is not done yet.
-CW