Art Class Model

[R Chris Cooper]

This story has been removed by the author.

[arpeejay]

Another one?!

<-- throws in the towel!

I'm not keeping up with this guy!

xoxo

Richard

[arpeejay]

And:

Another rockin' story, many thanks!

One slight suggestion. When you wrote:

“Can I give you a lift?” he asked. I was a bit shocked that he spoke to me. “I thought that I was going to drive him home but… he obviously made other plans. He paid for the night so on my way home I could drop you off somewhere. I saw your work and it is really good,” he added

It wasn't at all clear to me if the person speaking was the chauffeur or the model. I had to re-read it three times to make sure I had it right. If you had written:

“Can I give you a lift?” the chauffeur asked.

I'd've gotten it on the first read. (And, yeah, if I'd actually slurped down my first cup of coffee for the day I might have gotten it anyway but still...) I point it out because I've had some difficulty in my own stories making it clear who was speaking.

xoxo

Richard

[imfit]

Keep on writing and posting. These stories have been great. Good description. At the end of each, you have left me wanting more!

[R Chris Cooper]

Thanks Arpeejay. I must have missed that while proofreading. I try to write and then go back in a week and read the story to find those kind of errors. I guess it was very late and "I" knew who was speaking. Thanks for the encouragement. I hope that there is plenty of variety for most people. I am one that prefers the believability of a situation in a story. I find that a few facts mixed with fiction sway the story to believability.

RCC

[ts1976]

Very, very nice! I'm always so happy to see you've posted a new story!

[Lucas88]

Great read! I can understand some possible confusion with the pronouns in the section rpj mentioned but you followed the "1 speaker per paragraph" rule so I just assumed it was the chauffer planning to drive him home, myself.

NO THROWING IN THE TOWEL, RICHARD!!!!

[arpeejay]

It was a minor point -- I agree with Imfit that your stories always leave us wanting MORE and, yes, the details always add to believability / holding one's interest.

Great work!

xoxo

Richard

[tagsnola]

... but a goodie! Very VERY good!

[Faust2001]

Very nice story wrapped up in one chapter!

[V.R.Goh]

Very nice story. Will we see Ron getting his lessons anytime soon?

[philat99]

Very enjoyable. ?I?m a slow learner and I want you to teach me everything.? pretty well sums it it up!!!
Mike

PS: Looks like you and Arpeejay are in a prolific writers contest! And I love every one you've both produced!

[Mass Driver]

I bet these stories come to you at the oddest places. Driving your car, Taking a tub bath. You have one fine imagination and you are putting it to very very good use. Those conversations you have your characters go through in your head... by the time you are typing them up for us to read, those characters have become real people.
Keep Writing.

MD

[Mass Driver]

Just a side note, from a writer that had to go back and re-edit his own stuff. In the heat of getting the story down, I was bouncing back and forth between tenses. Talking like the story was in the past and then talking like I was reporting what was going on as it was happening. Along with that little bit of confusion for my readers to figure out, was my constant He said, She said, that I was using to let the reader know who was talking. I read about another writer who hated how writers would stop using their imagination when it came to how they informed the reader of the person talking. A lot of the time the dialog is good enough to get the idea across. And for the times three or more are in the mix, I'll describe their expressions to give their name up to the reader.


But what you should know is that, ultimately, those bits of grammar and book publisher editing are all secondary to the true art of story telling. And Man you have it. Even with any supposed grammatical or Character Speaking logistics errors; you have a lot of people reading your stories and getting your message. You got us there, brother. Hot and Heavy are some of the words that POP with a loud earthy sound, into my head as I read your stories. Sing on, my friend. Your voice is sweet to the ear.

MD

[R Chris Cooper]

It sure looks like a contest but I have not consciously entered this contest. Arpeejay always responds and I truly appreciate his feedback and yours. I may have gotten carried away by posting too many stories all around the same time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. I probably will not post anything new for a couple weeks because I'll be out of pocket. That is why I posted my Halloween story (Haunted Cabin in the Woods) a bit early.

RCC

[arpeejay]

There's no contest. I was delighted to see Chris' stories and I have been delighted to see so many of them! It's like I've said before: I like writing but it's OTHER PEOPLE'S stories that do it for me!

xoxo

Richard

[Cowpuncher]

HOT, sexually charged and brilliantly put together short story. Sounded like a "short" autobiography!?

[R Chris Cooper]

Cowpuncher et al

Thanks for your support. It is always greatly appreciated when readers respond to my stories with such enthusiasm. The story may be semi-autobiographical. There was an Art Class Model but the rest is... semi fantasy--he didn't have a huge muscular brother.

RCC

[wimpymuscles]

This was an incredible story that flowed in my head like a movie. It was as if you had seen my college apartment where the kitchen was so small you couldn't open the dishwasher and the refrigerator at the same time.